Developing feelings for a co-worker...

[Fern9do]

Been trying to supres the feelings for weeks now but cant lie to myself anymore.The fact that im thinking of how beautiful her eyes are while im testing a power amp pretty much tells me that i have feelings for her.
What do yall think i should do? from what iv heard office romance is a big no-no...have anyone been down this road before?i dont want to do anything that wil jeopordise my position at the company.

[bwana]

Is there an official company position on office romances?

[Killove]

dont **** where you eat.

how does she feel about you?

[alf101]

dont **** where you eat.

how does she feel about you?

Yep.

Sure u were in love with some of your school teachers as well.
Now it's safe to pursue them.:cool:

[xrapidx]

Actually - most couple's would of met through work or friends. I don't think I'd want to meet a girlfriend in a bar :p

If she's not in the same department - who care's?

[Killove]

Yep.

Sure u were in love with some of your school teachers as well.
Now it's safe to pursue them.:cool:

aah Mrs Soller.. you sure were a babe. one day, one day.

[Fern9do]

Yeah shes not in the same department,we are on the same floor but she works for research and development.
Theres no official office policy as we are very laid back in terms of rules. Im pretty sure she'l say yes if i ask her out because theres definately chemistry + we are both single.

[CathJ]

It's tricky. I was in the same situation once - didn't do anything, lost the opportunity, and now regret it. But it's a huge risk...

[Fern9do]

The thing thats bugging me is that if things dont work out itl be al akward and ****

[gdiza]

Is there an official company position on office romances?

Here, we are 'apparently' not allowed to have them, but that didn't stop me and a co worker ;) hehe

[gdiza]

The thing thats bugging me is that if things dont work out itl be al akward and ****

Just don't let it end badly... if you fight or something, apologise, be the bigger man etc... so now now, ya... see what happens :D

[Killove]

i retract my previous statement, if you like her, go for it.
TRUST me, its better than meeting a girl at a club.
and if things go sour, surely you're both mature enough to deal with it. Just keep it on the down-low

[FaNIX]

Cashmoney: I would definitely pursue it... Take a chance, life is too short man!

Whats the worst thing that can happen? You really have nothing to lose, and everything to gain... GO FOR IT! :)

[LandyMan]

I met my (now) wife at work in 2000

[Dolby]

Testing a power amp? WHat do you do?

[LandyMan]

Actually - most couple's would of met through work or friends. I don't think I'd want to meet a girlfriend in a bar :p

I fully agree on that

[xrapidx]

Work isn't everything.... who knows, if you believe in this sorta crap, she could be the ONE!.

[xrapidx]

P.S. We need pics to give an accurate judgment.

[Fern9do]

Trust me shes very cutE.Cant exactly go up and say "Hey im duscussing wether or not to ask you out on a forum and the members want a pic" :)

Im 22 and i think i agree with those who say i should do it because lifes too short,take the risk etc.

To the guy that asked im testing a military surveilance systems power amplifier.

I think im gna go for it!!!;)

[air]

go for it - regrets are a **** thing to carry round with you. monday to friday, we all spend more waking hours with our co-workers than with our more significant other halves [if u are attached], bound to happen.

[alf101]

P.S. We need pics to give an accurate judgment.
Was waiting for that one. :)

Women like to talk, and she'll probably tell all her work friends what u guys do.
If u can deal with that, u may be ok.

[Fern9do]

Haha . . I wont have that problem alf.theres only two young girls(Under 26) on our floor(The joys of being in the engineering field) and the other one doesnt realy speak to anyone.

[Grouter]

It's been said: "Never get your meat where you get your bread" but, hey - now we have shopping malls, Pick'n'Pay, Woolworths....Go for it!

[chiskop]

Sure u were in love with some of your school teachers as well.
Now it's safe to pursue them.:cool:

Hmmm, Mrs. Watson. :p

[alf101]

Hmmm, Mrs. Watson. :p

Mej Gouws
lipstiek dipstiek
Ja!

[Surv0]

Go for it... My longest relationship was with somebody i worked with.
Different departments are a must as you dont really want to get in each others way.

Taking the chance at a good thing far outweighs the negatives if you guys dont work out...

So pluck up the courage and be a man, step up to the plate and make it happen, itll eat you up inside if you dont.

Ive got a similarish problem, but it involves a long term friend of mine who ive had feelings for, for a very long time. She probably knows but is also in a similar position, not wanting to do anything about it. Think she might even feel the same for me, but worried about hurting an amazing friendship.
I havent been able to step up to the plate in that regard as im worried about the same things.. If its meant to be, itll happen, right now, its kinda eating away at me.
Im now dating a friend of hers :p

[CathJ]

Go for it... My longest relationship was with somebody i worked with.
Different departments are a must as you dont really want to get in each others way.

Taking the chance at a good thing far outweighs the negatives if you guys dont work out...

So pluck up the courage and be a man, step up to the plate and make it happen, itll eat you up inside if you dont.

Ive got a similarish problem, but it involves a long term friend of mine who ive had feelings for, for a very long time. She probably knows but is also in a similar position, not wanting to do anything about it. Think she might even feel the same for me, but worried about hurting an amazing friendship.
I havent been able to step up to the plate in that regard as im worried about the same things.. If its meant to be, itll happen, right now, its kinda eating away at me.
Im now dating a friend of hers :p

Been there, done that (or rather, not done it). It such a tough decision to make, because you're not sure how the other person feels - and you really don't want to ruin a good friendship.

Don't rely on "if it's meant to be, it'll happen" - because sometimes it doesn't.

[Surv0]

Don't rely on "if it's meant to be, it'll happen" - because sometimes it doesn't.

agreed, im not going to do anything about it, not now anyway.
I kinda feel that we would be absolutly awesome together. I use her as a template when looking for girls..
But id rather keep her as a friend, than lose her all together..
One of those life things you just dont have full control over.

[The_Librarian]

Good luck, hope it goes well...

[chiskop]

Mej Gouws


I really hope we went to different schools, because the Mej Gouws at my school was :sick:.

Urrgh, hairy arms on the OHP projected up onto the wall.

:sick:

[Surv0]

I really hope we went to differnet schools, becasue the Mej Gouws at my school was :sick:.

Urrgh, hairy arms on the OHP projected up onto the wall.

:sick:

different strokes for different folks eh..;)

[3G-Spot]

I say go for it cashmoney! That will be another reason 4u to wake up and look forward to going to work! :p I did the same thing last year June here at work. We started out flirting, but now things are quite serious. It's still fun though!

[Fuma]

But id rather keep her as a friend, than lose her all together..


Worst mistake if you ask me. Just imagine she gets married to some psycho.
You'll regret that for the rest of your life.
I would rather lose her as my friend than to torture myself seeing her with someone else.

If you play your cards right, you might get her.

[Surv0]

Worst mistake if you ask me. Just imagine she gets married to some psycho.
You'll regret that for the rest of your life.
I would rather lose her as my friend than to torture myself seeing her with someone else.

If you play your cards right, you might get her.

True, but im not that kind of inlove with her that when i see her with somebody else i feel ***. There are also a few other things in the way that prevents us from being together. I am in no rush at the moment, as ive always been in a relationship at some point. The timing isnt right as well, and shes moved to UK to work for a few years..
but as i said before, if its meant to be, it will happen, i know that much. If not, well then ill get over it, life goes on.

[xrapidx]

Just remember what the photo copier is really there for ;)

[Fuma]

but as i said before, if its meant to be, it will happen, i know that much.

I believe you are still young < 25 and the woman in question is young as well?
If not, then this whole **** "if its meant to be, it will happen" doesn't work. :D You make things "meant to be", if you know what I mean.
You can't just wait there and expect things to happen - make things happen.

Anyway since she went to the UK, I hope she'll come back or you'll go that side -else she will find some Brit to marry. Then you are farked my friend.

BTW, I remember 2 ladies that I really liked- they are married now. Man do I kick myself every time I see them with their buggers?

[alf101]

I believe you are still young < 25 and the woman in question is young as well?
If not, then this whole **** "if its meant to be, it will happen" doesn't work. :D You make things "meant to be", if you know what I mean.
You can't just wait there and expect things to happen - make things happen.

Anyway since she went to the UK, I hope she'll come back or you'll go that side -else she will find some Brit to marry. Then you are farked my friend.

BTW, I remember 2 ladies that I really liked- they are married now. Man do I kick myself every time I see them with their buggers?

r u Amish?

[Fuma]

r u Amish?

No? :D

[efitol]

i never p1ss in my own backyard. anymore.
but i do regret not making a move on my substitute maths teacher when i was in grade five. i can still smell her perfume, but i forgot her name. Ms Primary School Maths Substitute Teacher, if you're reading this, i'm ready now...
/me wakes up with a great big klap from the gf :D

[Skeptik]

I really hope we went to different schools, because the Mej Gouws at my school was :sick:.

Urrgh, hairy arms on the OHP projected up onto the wall.

:sick:
Is that the one who had an affair with Ms. Regnart?

[Surv0]

I believe you are still young < 25 and the woman in question is young as well?
If not, then this whole **** "if its meant to be, it will happen" doesn't work. :D You make things "meant to be", if you know what I mean.
You can't just wait there and expect things to happen - make things happen.

Im 25 and the woman in question is 24 - as i said there are other issues that prevent me from stepping up to the plate. If she honestly feels for me the same as i feel for her, then yes things will take their own course... we will come together. If she doesnt feel that way then alas, things just arent meant to be.
Im in no hurry, and im confident that i can get what i want, but im not going to force those feelings on anyone until im 100% sure that thats what they would want.
I also feel that she might not be ready, as she hooked me up with her friend :p and likes the fact that she was the matchmaker in my new relationship. I think that she did that to stop me from making advances to her, which i was doing, very softly though :p
So one could say shes not interested, but i dont believe that, i know her well enough to know when shes being more than just a friend. It just brings me back to thinking shes not interested right now but does have feelings for me, which is completely acceptable..

[Fuma]

Im 25 and the woman in question is 24 - as i said there are other issues that prevent me from stepping up to the plate. If she honestly feels for me the same as i feel for her, then yes things will take their own course... we will come together. If she doesnt feel that way then alas, things just arent meant to be.
Im in no hurry, and im confident that i can get what i want, but im not going to force those feelings on anyone until im 100% sure that thats what they would want.
I also feel that she might not be ready, as she hooked me up with her friend :p and likes the fact that she was the matchmaker in my new relationship. I think that she did that to stop me from making advances to her, which i was doing, very softly though :p
So one could say shes not interested, but i dont believe that, i know her well enough to know when shes being more than just a friend. It just brings me back to thinking shes not interested right now but does have feelings for me, which is completely acceptable..

I have a feeling you are scared.:D
I know that feeling bro. Once you have feelings for a lady before you could date her, it takes some balls to say it. I guess you don't have them balls. :DYou'll always come with reasonable excuses not to tell her.
I always make sure that before I develop deep feelings for a lady, I already told her that I "like/love" her.

[CathJ]

I have a feeling you are scared.:D
I know that feeling bro. Once you have feelings for a lady before you could date her, it takes some balls to say it. I guess you don't have them balls. :DYou'll always come with reasonable excuses not to tell her.
I always make sure that before I develop deep feelings for a lady, I already told her that I "like/love" her.

Wait... so you tell someone that you like them (or even worse, love them) before you actually have any feelings for them at all?

Hanging out in this forum is really depressing.

[Surv0]

I have a feeling you are scared.:D
I know that feeling bro. Once you have feelings for a lady before you could date her, it takes some balls to say it. I guess you don't have them balls. :DYou'll always come with reasonable excuses not to tell her.
I always make sure that before I develop deep feelings for a lady, I already told her that I "like/love" her.

I might be scared slightly of possibly hurting a friendship. Im not scared of stepping up to the plate, you can ask any woman ive had relations with in the past, i definitely have the balls as you put it.

And i dont make excuses not to tell her, i chose not to tell her, there is a difference. Why? because until i know for sure how she feels, i wont say nething.

I did put in some hints and flirted a bit, very discretely just to judge her reaction. Needless to say, it wasnt as i expected.

[Fuma]

Wait... so you tell someone that you like them (or even worse, love them) before you actually have any feelings for them at all?

Hanging out in this forum is really depressing.

I believe you are a woman. :D
Let's just say all the ladies I liked before I date them, I never got them because I always fark up because I try too hard, and make mistakes.

Maybe I did not say it properly. Sorry madam.:D

[CathJ]

I believe you are a woman. :D
Let's just say all the ladies I liked before I date them, I never got them because I always fark up because I try too hard, and make mistakes.

Maybe I did not say it properly. Sorry madam.:D

Yes, I am :D

I think the way you phrased it was a bit misleading... it sounds better now.

And BTW, it's not just this thread that's depressing - there're a bunch of them that give me an insight into the way guys think that I'd rather not know... I'd rather live in my own little (apparently delusional) world :p

[Surv0]

Yes, I am :D

I think the way you phrased it was a bit misleading... it sounds better now.

And BTW, it's not just this thread that's depressing - there're a bunch of them that give me an insight into the way guys think that I'd rather not know... I'd rather live in my own little (apparently delusional) world :p

Some of the guys here can post things that would make any prospective female partner run for the hills.
I think these are purely said for fun, and because everyones true identity is hidden. In person im sure most of them would be the opposite.
I think much of what is said here regarding men/women should be taken with a pinch of humour and not looked at as a general myadsl male thought process.

[alf101]

I might be scared slightly of possibly hurting a friendship. Im not scared of stepping up to the plate, you can ask any woman ive had relations with in the past, i definitely have the balls as you put it.

And i dont make excuses not to tell her, i chose not to tell her, there is a difference. Why? because until i know for sure how she feels, i wont say nething.

I did put in some hints and flirted a bit, very discretely just to judge her reaction. Needless to say, it wasnt as i expected.

Ok, but does she twirl her hair when she talks to u?

[Fuma]

Ok, but does she twirl her hair when she talks to u?

Haha. If you are implying that she wants him, then it's not always true.

[Surv0]

Ok, but does she twirl her hair when she talks to u?

Never noticed...
but we do hug excessively long, only kiss on the lips, walk arm in arm, share intimate details..
dont think twirling the hair has a big say in the situation.

[Fuma]

Never noticed...
but we do hug excessively long, only kiss on the lips, walk arm in arm, share intimate details..
dont think twirling the hair has a big say in the situation.

Before long, you'll be in the friends zone, permanently (If you are not already):D
.......and that my friend is not what you want, or is it?

[Surv0]

Before long, you'll be in the friends zone, permanently (If you are not already):D
.......and that my friend is not what you want, or is it?

Right now its not about what i want... fact of the matter is that its not possible.
Firstly because shes oversees, and secondly because im not gonna dump my current GF to possibly jump into something that im not sure what the outcome will be. I try only to do things im sure of.
She will always be in my life, whether either of us gets married or not, it wont change anything, as anything can still happen.
All i know is that i have had feelings for her for a long time, but i know neither of us are ready to face those feelings. when she gets back from the UK in a few years, hopefully things will be different and we both might be more interested in making something happen. Until then i remain on the side line.

[CathJ]

Some of the guys here can post things that would make any prospective female partner run for the hills.
I think these are purely said for fun, and because everyones true identity is hidden. In person im sure most of them would be the opposite.
I think much of what is said here regarding men/women should be taken with a pinch of humour and not looked at as a general myadsl male thought process.

Good to know :D

[Fern9do]

Update:
I asked her out(Well kind of) . . .some of the guys from my department organised a paintball outing thingy and so i went to her and invited her along(She doesnt know the other people) and she said yes:)
i know its not a date but at least will be spending some time with her out of the office.Thanks for the advice peeps.

[Surv0]

Update:
I asked her out(Well kind of) . . .some of the guys from my department organised a paintball outing thingy and so i went to her and invited her along(She doesnt know the other people) and she said yes:)
i know its not a date but at least will be spending some time with her out of the office.Thanks for the advice peeps.

nice one - follow through with a private drink and some food after the paintball... Something more personal

[alf101]

but we do hug excessively long, only kiss on the lips, walk arm in arm, share intimate details...

Get a room.

[Fern9do]

To the guys who have feelings for their friends ... I can symphetise with that.Had feelings for 1 of my girl friends for 3 years.Never made a move out of fear of ruining the friendship...in year 2 she met a guy and they are still dating.I hardly see her now as shes always with her boyfriend,which is understandable but the point im trying to make is that the friendship is gone and i never made a move.Id say if you feel strongly about it then do it!
Dont want to end up regretting it like me.

[Surv0]

Get a room.

thats just wishful thinking

[YQueen]

I think if u believe u can hold it together without having it interfere with your productivity at work, get to a consensus with her that you will both do it the professional fashon when you are at work then you can give it a try...Goodluck.

[SecretCode]

Cant exactly go up and say "Hey im duscussing wether or not to ask you out on a forum and the members want a pic" :)

Why not? Has that pick-up line ever failed? :p

[SecretCode]

I asked her out(Well kind of) . . .some of the guys from my department organised a paintball outing thingy and so i went to her and invited her along(She doesnt know the other people) and she said yes:)
i know its not a date but at least will be spending some time with her out of the office.

Just don't shoot her ...

[Fern9do]

Haha . . I wont. . I used the cheesy "Dont worry ill protect you" line...she laughed and smiled...lifes good:)

[Picard]

I started developing an attraction for a collegue of mine. Unfortunately for me she got married about a year ago and I'm also decent friends with her husband. I think I've managed to squash my feelings quite well.

[blunomore]

I started developing an attraction for a collegue of mine. Unfortunately for me she got married about a year ago and I'm also decent friends with her husband. I think I've managed to squash my feelings quite well.

I would be fascinated by a psychologist's explanation of the thought processes in the mind of someone when they fall for someone else.

Yes, yes, I know some guys may say it is not in the mind but in other body parts, but really, there must be some medical / scientific / psychological explanation for 'falling in love'.

[Picard]

I would be fascinated by a psychologist's explanation of the thought processes in the mind of someone when they fall for someone else.

Yes, yes, I know some guys may say it is not in the mind but in other body parts, but really, there must be some medical / scientific / psychological explanation for 'falling in love'.

I think with this girl it wasn't a biological infactuation. Rather it was, I think, a cognitive desiscion because she is highly intelligent, very ambitious, has a very confident and spontaneous personality ... things I find hugely attractive in a woman.

Of course she is mildly attractive without makeup on and has a decent body (slim). With makeup on she looks very good.

Her husband on the other hand is built like a brick shytehouse (rugby loose forward) but has the intelligence of one too. But he is a nice guy nonetheless.

[blunomore]

I think with this girl it wasn't a biological infactuation. Rather it was, I think, a cognitive desiscion because she is highly intelligent, very ambitious, has a very confident and spontaneous personality ... things I find hugely attractive in a woman.

Of course she is mildly attractive without makeup on and has a decent body (slim). With makeup on she looks very good.

Her husband on the other hand is built like a brick shytehouse (rugby loose forward) but has the intelligence of one too. But he is a nice guy nonetheless.

I speedread your post and I was gonna say: maybe he has a good heart, and then I saw your last sentence :D

[Kokop]

dont **** where you eat.

how does she feel about you?

Yep. Don't pork the payroll, don't screw the crew.

Seriously, if neither of you are each others boss, shouldn't be too much of a hassle as long as everything stays transparent and cool.

[Picard]

I speedread your post and I was gonna say: maybe he has a good heart, and then I saw your last sentence :D

But I have a good heart too :D