Asking someone to marry you

[AcidRaZor]

Hey guys/gals

So I'm going to go guns blazing, no guts no glory style and ask this girl to marry me.

I know the ring is important, and I have an idea about the size it should be, but in case I'm wrong would it be able to adjust easily?

That being beside the point.

I'd like to hear what you guys did to get the YES. I'm about 50% on this that she would actually say yes or not

Was thinking I should take her out on the date we had the very first time that made her fall for me (not going to tell the whole story now but anyway)

What to do to sweep her off her feet and get her to live in the moment and not think about the crap divorce her folks had and that she might be too young (21) to get married and and and and etc...

No I'm not willing to make her drunk for this

Stories / advice please :D

[Nick333]

Hey guys/gals

So I'm going to go guns blazing, no guts no glory style and ask this girl to marry me.

I know the ring is important, and I have an idea about the size it should be, but in case I'm wrong would it be able to adjust easily?

That being beside the point.

I'd like to hear what you guys did to get the YES. I'm about 50% on this that she would actually say yes or not

Was thinking I should take her out on the date we had the very first time that made her fall for me (not going to tell the whole story now but anyway)

What to do to sweep her off her feet and get her to live in the moment and not think about the crap divorce her folks had and that she might be too young (21) to get married and and and and etc...

No I'm not willing to make her drunk for this

Stories / advice please :D

Sorry about going off topic already, but aren't you just a youngster yourself? Or am I thinking of someone else.

[AcidRaZor]

Sorry about going off topic already, but aren't you just a youngster yourself? Or am I thinking of someone else.

I'm 28 :)

[gdiza]

I'm only ever going to ask 1 woman to marry me... when she comes back to South Africa that is ;)
There is NO other woman who deserves me ;)

[Nick333]

I'm 28 :)

OK sorry thought were still in your teens for some reason. :)

[ettubrute]

I thought marriage was outdated? :confused:

[AcidRaZor]

I'm only ever going to ask 1 woman to marry me... when she comes back to South Africa that is ;)
There is NO other woman who deserves me ;)

I doubt Charlize Theron would come back dude, thats a lost cause

[AcidRaZor]

So no stories? No advice? Pfff

[killadoob]

dude firstly, dont buy a ring

buy a cheap ring, then take her to a designer to get one designed and let her choose what she wants

going into a store and buying a ring is so random, my fiancee loved this and has her own ring that nobody else will ever have

take her out to dinner, also remember it seems like something easy to do but believe me when the moment comes and you start thinking about how you are going to do it your heart races and you get so nervous

i found a few drinks helped me alot

[Nick333]

So no stories? No advice? Pfff

Well I'm not the most romantic of men, but what I can say is that for most woman there is no such thing as too romantic or soppy. My advice (forwhat its worth) would be to steal an idea from her favourite chick.

[Nick333]

dude firstly, dont buy a ring

buy a cheap ring, then take her to a designer to get one designed and let her choose what she wants

going into a store and buying a ring is so random, my fiancee loved this and has her own ring that nobody else will ever have

take her out to dinner, also remember it seems like something easy to do but believe me when the moment comes and you start thinking about how you are going to do it your heart races and you get so nervous

i found a few drinks helped me alot

Cool idea.

[Rocket-Boy]

dude, good luck!
Marrige is an awesome thing, just make sure she isnt going to change - what I mean by that is when people are that age they arent 100% set in theri personalities yet and can sometimes change for the worse...

As for the ring size that can be adjusted, just try not to get a very complex band as the resizing can make it look badly designed if too much has to come off/get added on.

Proposal, all I can say is be flexible!!
I had mine all planned out and was on route until my aircon seized and took out the waterpump/powersteering belt with it :(
If your plans arent going teh way you want them then just pull back for a second, relax and re-evaulate. Its a once in a lifetime(hopefully) thing so rather get it right!

[AcidRaZor]

dude firstly, dont buy a ring

buy a cheap ring, then take her to a designer to get one designed and let her choose what she wants

going into a store and buying a ring is so random, my fiancee loved this and has her own ring that nobody else will ever have

take her out to dinner, also remember it seems like something easy to do but believe me when the moment comes and you start thinking about how you are going to do it your heart races and you get so nervous

i found a few drinks helped me alot

Would you say you were 100% sure she'd say yes? I was thinking I'd give her the option to design the other ring, and that the engagement one was one I chose...?

Cheap? How cheap? and if I do that and not flash a nice ring, how'd I get her to say yes?

[Rocket-Boy]

dude firstly, dont buy a ring

buy a cheap ring, then take her to a designer to get one designed and let her choose what she wants

going into a store and buying a ring is so random, my fiancee loved this and has her own ring that nobody else will ever have

take her out to dinner, also remember it seems like something easy to do but believe me when the moment comes and you start thinking about how you are going to do it your heart races and you get so nervous

i found a few drinks helped me alot

HAhaha! its cos you are a nubcaek!
The worst part was asking her parents, man that sucked so much :(

[ettubrute]

Cheap? How cheap? and if I do that and not flash a nice ring, how'd I get her to say yes?If she loves you, she won't be looking at the price/worth of the ring! If she is, stay away!

[AcidRaZor]

If she loves you, she won't be looking at the price/worth of the ring! If she is, stay away!

No I doubt its going to be like that but I'd still want to take her breath away you know? especially because I'm not sure what she'll say

[Nick333]

A couple of hundred for a plaing gold band.

ettubrute is right. If the first thing she considers is the value of the ring then you've just learnt something very important about her.

[The_Techie]

Good luck :)

[killadoob]

no i mean the ring you put on her finger will be cheap and you tell her she can design her own one

im not saying buy her a cheap ring, its just something to put on her finger until she gets one designed

if you need a flashy ring to get to say yes then your not dating a decent girl man

if she is worried about money and that sort of thing then i hope she is blonde big tits and screws like a porn star

still would not marry her though

[Rocket-Boy]

if she is worried about money and that sort of thing then i hope she is blonde big tits and screws like a porn star

still would not marry her though

You have the nicest way of putting stuff!
But seriously those people arent for marrying, more for use and lose.

[AcidRaZor]

A couple of hundred for a plaing gold band.

ettubrute is right. If the first thing she considers is the value of the ring then you've just learnt something very important about her.

She doesn't like gold ;)

[Rocket-Boy]

oh silver is cheap then ;)
She is a platinum fan and you not thinking she is a gold digger?
My wife doesnt like yellow gold so she would have settled for white gold, but I got her platinum anyways.

[AcidRaZor]

no i mean the ring you put on her finger will be cheap and you tell her she can design her own one

im not saying buy her a cheap ring, its just something to put on her finger until she gets one designed

if you need a flashy ring to get to say yes then your not dating a decent girl man

if she is worried about money and that sort of thing then i hope she is blonde big tits and screws like a porn star

still would not marry her though

See, thats just the thing. We're not dating anymore. Went out for 7 months, was great but broke up for several reasons I'm not going to discuss here, stayed friends (we click really well) and then before I came to Dubai (she's coming in July) we kind of got back together again.

But I know we aren't back together and I know she's confused about everything still. So yea, like I said. No guts not glory. I'm going to ask her and that is the reason why I said I'm not sure if she'll say yes (even though while we were dating she kept showing me ring designs of what she likes etc)

So I'd like to have something flashy there to show her I'm serious. Get the "live in the moment" answer from her instead of the thought-out-calculated "I'm not sure".

But yea, I'm not going to argue over rings and my reasons for doing this and how impossible it would be that she'll say yes and how superficial it would be blablablabla

I appreciate your input and concerns, all I need to know is how SURE you guys were when you asked your women and how you asked them and if it was also a "omg i dont know if she's going to say yes" thing

[AcidRaZor]

oh silver is cheap then ;)
She is a platinum fan and you not thinking she is a gold digger?
My wife doesnt like yellow gold so she would have settled for white gold, but I got her platinum anyways.

No not a platinum fan per se, she just doesn't like gold. (Think it has something to do with the yellow color)

[noswal]

Are you still drunk from last nite when writing this? If so, repost tomorrow :p

[AcidRaZor]

No, I've actually been thinking about it for quite a while though. Did (in my drunken state) chat to her and she's like "is this how you're going to ask me?!" and I'm like "no of course not, I've got something worked out, and I'm not asking you now"

So later in the morning chatted to her again and she said that I asked to marry her and I'm like "yea, I remember that, but I'm going to do it right" whereto she then asked "Oh so you are going to ask me?" at which I said "I'd rather not answer that now"

Had a question to her side though where I asked what would she do if I did ask her and she replied with the "I'd rahter not answer that now" line I just fed her previously.

We broke up and got together 2/3 times now, and I know she loves me, and I know she is confused a lot, hard for her to make up her mind. But I don't think fear of rejection should stop me from asking.

[Waaib]

I got a white gold ring made and proposed with that. I told my wife (She said yes!) that she could choose her own engagement ring and either use the white gold ring as her wedding band or melt it down and use as part of engagement ring. She chose to keep the white gold band and have a engagement ring made.

Also - 50% is not sure enough. For marriage my view is be 100% sure you want it. 1% doubt is 100% reason not to do it. I been married twice and made very for the second time that I was 100% sure. If it is 50% sure she'll say yet then that would be too risky for me and if fear of rejection isn't enough to stop you then made you don't care enough about it. (Just a thought/opinion/interpretation).

[Great thread by the way!]

[AcidRaZor]

I got a white gold ring made and proposed with that. I told my wife (She said yes!) that she could choose her own engagement ring and either use the white gold ring as her wedding band or melt it down and use as part of engagement ring. She chose to keep the white gold band and have a engagement ring made.

Also - 50% is not sure enough. For marriage my view is be 100% sure you want it. 1% doubt is 100% reason not to do it. I been married twice and made very for the second time that I was 100% sure. If it is 50% sure she'll say yet then that would be too risky for me and if fear of rejection isn't enough to stop you then made you don't care enough about it. (Just a thought/opinion/interpretation).

[Great thread by the way!]

Thanks for the input, you misunderstood. I'm not 100% sure if she will say yes or not. But it won't bother me to ask ANYWAY even if it's a no. ;)

I'm definately 100% sure I'd want to marry this girl.

[jsheed_sa]

Just a thought but you are going to base the decision of a lifetime on 7 months? Seriously that smells of divorce. No offense.

J

[AcidRaZor]

Just a thought but you are going to base the decision of a lifetime on 7 months? Seriously that smells of divorce. No offense.

J

I've seen people get married in less than 6 weeks and they've been together now for 9 years... so I don't base my decisions on time or age difference etc. I base it on how I feel and want to feel for the rest of my life knowing I have her.

[jsheed_sa]

I've seen people get married in less than 6 weeks and they've been together now for 9 years... so I don't base my decisions on time or age difference etc. I base it on how I feel and want to feel for the rest of my life knowing I have her.

Be careful though as someone said personalities change - Im 22 and im still evolving in how I act etc she will be too - I reckon hold off on the actual getting married bit for quite a while, maybe get engaged, move in together - see what works - if it does great go ahead - atleast you wont be stuck with regrets. Living with someone and going out with them when you live apart are two different kettles of fish.

J

[nocilah]

Hey guys/gals

So I'm going to go guns blazing, no guts no glory style and ask this girl to marry me.

I know the ring is important, and I have an idea about the size it should be, but in case I'm wrong would it be able to adjust easily?

That being beside the point.

I'd like to hear what you guys did to get the YES. I'm about 50% on this that she would actually say yes or not

Was thinking I should take her out on the date we had the very first time that made her fall for me (not going to tell the whole story now but anyway)

What to do to sweep her off her feet and get her to live in the moment and not think about the crap divorce her folks had and that she might be too young (21) to get married and and and and etc...

No I'm not willing to make her drunk for this

Stories / advice please :D

my advice... dont do it - they are all liars.

[jsheed_sa]

my advice... dont do it - they are all liars.

Someone has taken a trip on the hurt train recently?

J

[AcidRaZor]

Be careful though as someone said personalities change - Im 22 and im still evolving in how I act etc she will be too - I reckon hold off on the actual getting married bit for quite a while, maybe get engaged, move in together - see what works - if it does great go ahead - atleast you wont be stuck with regrets. Living with someone and going out with them when you live apart are two different kettles of fish.

J

See thats one of the things I'd have to make her understand. I'm not looking to get hitched immediately. I'd like to be engaged for a year before even setting a date.

We've lived together before but in small portions, like 2-3 weeks at a time.

I agree with that personalities change, but I disagree that it would change drastically unless she has some kind of mental problem. Your personality is usually carved out when you're a child, that's why you get adults who kill other people for pleasure or adults who don't and live their lives to what they have grown to see their parents do.

She does come froma divorced family and this is one of the reasons why I say I'm not 100% sure if she'll say yes, and that is what I'm trying to achieve. I know she feels for me deeply and we have talked about marriage before (she was the one to bring it up)

I think she scared herself a bit because she started to think "what if this, what if that" and I know she is trying her best not to be like her mom and end up divorced with 3 kids and stuck somewhere where she'll be unhappy.

I'm willing to take it slow, I also told her that she should remember that she was the one who said we might start dating again when she's in Dubai and she was the one who mentioned getting married in the begginning when we were month3+.

So I'm fully aware that her mind (like my own) overactive and starts thinking about all these different scenarios of what MIGHT happen and how things CAN go wrong that in the end you ignore what your heart is telling you (or even know what it's telling you) and cause a crapload of confusion.

Like a boxer I need to dodge and duck, two-step, jab-jab left uppercut jab three step dodge and WHAM. Hit her with a romantic, in the moment proposal with a to die for ring and go on one knee and ask her to be my wife.

Now in all probability she'd not be able to answer me, but I know if I do it right, let her forget about what is holding her back from everything and just do it, she'd say yes.

And that is why I asked for advice or stories of how you guys proposed and got the yes answer...

[jsheed_sa]

Like a boxer I need to dodge and duck, two-step, jab-jab left uppercut jab three step dodge and WHAM. Hit her with a romantic - can i make that my sig :P I like it.

Sounds good as long as you arent planning to rush it immediatly stay with her for a year move in together, check it out thoroughly and as you said people make the same mistakes as their parents make sure she isnt going to fall along the divorce unhappiness route.

J


See thats one of the things I'd have to make her understand. I'm not looking to get hitched immediately. I'd like to be engaged for a year before even setting a date.

We've lived together before but in small portions, like 2-3 weeks at a time.

I agree with that personalities change, but I disagree that it would change drastically unless she has some kind of mental problem. Your personality is usually carved out when you're a child, that's why you get adults who kill other people for pleasure or adults who don't and live their lives to what they have grown to see their parents do.

She does come froma divorced family and this is one of the reasons why I say I'm not 100% sure if she'll say yes, and that is what I'm trying to achieve. I know she feels for me deeply and we have talked about marriage before (she was the one to bring it up)

I think she scared herself a bit because she started to think "what if this, what if that" and I know she is trying her best not to be like her mom and end up divorced with 3 kids and stuck somewhere where she'll be unhappy.

I'm willing to take it slow, I also told her that she should remember that she was the one who said we might start dating again when she's in Dubai and she was the one who mentioned getting married in the begginning when we were month3+.

So I'm fully aware that her mind (like my own) overactive and starts thinking about all these different scenarios of what MIGHT happen and how things CAN go wrong that in the end you ignore what your heart is telling you (or even know what it's telling you) and cause a crapload of confusion.

Like a boxer I need to dodge and duck, two-step, jab-jab left uppercut jab three step dodge and WHAM. Hit her with a romantic, in the moment proposal with a to die for ring and go on one knee and ask her to be my wife.

Now in all probability she'd not be able to answer me, but I know if I do it right, let her forget about what is holding her back from everything and just do it, she'd say yes.

And that is why I asked for advice or stories of how you guys proposed and got the yes answer...

[AcidRaZor]

lol yea you can use it if you'd like

[HavocXphere]

she's like "is this how you're going to ask me?!"
Killa's liquid courage idea just tanked.:D

Maybe talk to a jeweler. Ask him if you can get a plain band to propose with and whether she could then design something that can be attached to the band. That way the $$$ on the band is not wasted and you can spend a bit more.

As for the actual size/circumference of the band, I think its easier to fix if its too big. Added benefit of not risking it not fitting at all.;)

Good luck. It'll go as planned.

[bwana]

I had a pretty good idea of what kind of ring my missus would like when I designed her engagement ring.

As long as it has a decent quality stone in it she can always alter (fix) it at a later stage.

[AcidRaZor]

Before I left for Dubai we were in Canal Walk and passed a jewelry store. I can't remember if she paused or I paused to look at the rings, but before she could say anything I pointed to one and said "I like that one the best" and she was also looking at that one.

It was a tanzanite princess cut with white gold or platinum band (can't remember)

I'd really like to get her that ring rather than go for a plain band...

You know? I have to club my lady over the head and drag her back to my cave. Plus they like shiny things ;)

[bwana]

When are you planning on doing all of this (unless she's in Dubai too)?

[ettubrute]

You know? I have to club my lady over the head and drag her back to my cave. Plus they like shiny things ;)If this is your real feeling, drop the whole idea as fast as possible... :rolleyes:

[AcidRaZor]

When are you planning on doing all of this (unless she's in Dubai too)?

She's coming up in July I think, maybe a bit later. I'm going down in June. My birthday is on the 8th, her's is on the 10th and my dad/gran on the 14th + Fathersday.

Our first real date was on the 9th of June and I know for a fact that the date made her knees weak, so I'm thinking of replicating that night basically. Just not sure if I'd ask her in the restaurant or wait till I'm home. That "what if this blows up in my face" things I have to consider.


If this is your real feeling, drop the whole idea as fast as possible...

No it's not my real feeling, I'm just trying to say that men need to be men sometimes and just DO things. Women expect that most of the times we're the ones that will lead them. And being decisive is one of the key elements of that.

I have about a month to plan this. Not sure if I'll go through with it, you know, could chicken out, but I'm dead sure I want to spend the rest of my life with this girl.

I have about 3 days before the 9th I can show her that I am the fun guy before I left again :P she did say she was falling for me again. Now the *** thing is with the distance and only talking on mxit or the phone that doubt settled in her mind again.

So not sure, but definately want to ask! :)

[Fern9do]

Your probably not going to take my advice but i dont think you should do it man.

[bwana]

She's coming up in July I think, maybe a bit later. I'm going down in June. My birthday is on the 8th, her's is on the 10th and my dad/gran on the 14th + Fathersday.How long is your contract for in Dubai? Will she be joining you there or would you consider terminating your contract?

Please forgive my bluntness when I ask the following but . . . are you sure you're not doing this because you're in a strange country and homesick/lonely?

[AcidRaZor]

its a permanent position. Her mom is here so shes coming to stay. Her sister and husband also moving here. Im sure its not cause of being home sick. Lol

[AcidRaZor]

Your probably not going to take my advice but i dont think you should do it man. your advice will be considered. Unfortunately you didnt justify your advice with a reason so its difficult for me to accept it

[Fern9do]

Okay my reason is that you shouldnt have to try so hard to get her to say yes.
Can you imagine how hard you will have to work to keep her happy and commited to the marriage.
I totally understand where your coming from as i felt the same about my x gf and was ready to prupose after dating for only 10 months but things didnt work out for us.
Why dont you first ask her to get back together with you(as in bf and gf) and date for a few weeks before popping the question?

[AcidRaZor]

i understand your point. Maybe i should test the waters by doing the romantic thing and then going 'i want to ask you something' and see how she reacts cause she kn6w im going to ask

[Fern9do]

The advantage of dating is that you can run the idea of marriage past her.Im sure evryone wh has pruposed ran the idea of getting married past their girlfriends at some point in their relationship before popping the question. I dont meen asking her if she would say yes or no but more in terms of how she feels about marriage etc.
But im just 22 so you probably have more experience about this stuff so its up to you.

[Velenoso]

The girlfriend says the following: Rather buy a decent ring (by now you should know sort of what she wants), then tell her, if she doesn't like it, she can exchange it for another (at the same store, so make sure the selection there is good).

Also, if you're going for Tanzanite, I wouldn't recommend buying it from a store as the prices on these stones are quite inflated, rather have it made.

For the other thing, go for it ask her. If you love her you got no reason not to.

[Road runner]

Wait till you're 40! You will be richer, more mature, and not make mistakes.

[Maelly]

Buy an ordinary ring (remember u still gonna buy the actual wedding band), her out, have some quality time (intimacy), come back, "get some KFC" (I mean make passionate love to her), after a good one (while holding hands and stuff, slip it in her finger) then pop the question.

If it doesn't go down well, have a savannah, its dry but you can drink it, if that doesn't help then have some tea, cause "Tea can do that"!

[Maelly]

Wait till you're 40! You will be richer, more mature, and not make mistakes.

40? Then you wont see your kids grow, see them go to school, let alone varsity? No thanks. I think one shouldn't wait till they are over 35! I'm gonna tie the not before I turn 30!

[Nick333]

40? Then you wont see your kids grow, see them go to school, let alone varsity? No thanks. I think one shouldn't wait till they are over 35! I'm gonna tie the not before I turn 30!

How do you know they'll be dead before they're sixty. :confused:

[HavocXphere]

i understand your point. Maybe i should test the waters by doing the romantic thing and then going 'i want to ask you something' and see how she reacts cause she kn6w im going to ask
Doesn't sound like the way to go if you want to knock her off her feet.

[killadoob]

why not just leave it for awhile

all getting engaged does is drop your sex life

once a chick knows she has hooked you, its over

why not ask her how she feels about marriage

get her drunk and ask her, drunks dont lie so you'll know and if she is drunk enough wont remember in the morning

[vespax]

I appreciate your input and concerns, all I need to know is how SURE you guys were when you asked your women and how you asked them and if it was also a "omg i dont know if she's going to say yes" thing

Read through your post and I'll offer my experience and advice (for what it is worth). I was friends with my wife for a year before we started dating. We used to give each other advice on other girlfriends/boyfriends when friends and than after going home for Christmas I decided I needed to move things up with this girl. So we started "dating" in about February or March (when I could get rid of the other guys around her). We dated for about 4 months and I knew she was the one for me. We took the weekend and went out to Portland, Oregon to visit some friends. It was me, her and my best bud Steele. We were touring the city with other friends and everyone knew I had a ring except her. They all gave suggestions on where to propose (I remember taking a piss with one of them in a public bathroom and he mentioned a rose garden overlooking the city). That seemed like a good spot so we all headed up the hill to the garden.

Man, I was nervous. We had sort of talked about marriage but nothing too serious. She was 20 and I was 23! She was foreign and I was 2,000 miles from home. Neither of us had meet or talked to either set of parents. So anyway, we're walking around and all our friends are smirking at us as they spyed on us from a distance. She was commenting on the roses and blah blah blah. I wasn't listening, my heart was pounding too hard! :eek:

We got to a secluded spot amongst the roses and I just turned around, got down on one knee and pulled out the ring. She was surprised to say the least. I asked her the question, and see started huggin and kissing me. I was happy about the reaction but wanted the verbal confirmation. So I said to her, "Is this a yes or what?" and she responded with a big smiley YES. :D

We walked back over to where our friends were and they were all laughing since they all knew. It was pretty fun. :D

So, to answer your questions... I picked out the ring with my best bud without her knowing about it. I picked a good one too! She still loves it, and I just had a matching platinum band made for the wedding. The ring was a little big when I gave it to her, which was fine because they could chop off some and she could still where it right away.

I was not sure at all that she would say yes. I took a risk and it has paid off. We were both young, we got married within 5 months of the engagement. We have changed after 7.5 years in some ways, but we have grown together as well, and that is the benefit of getting married younger rather than older. You grow up together, and have some great memories to share as you go. :)

I would recommend you go for it. Plan it out like you think she would like (and you would like). Get a nice ring and go for it. Your 28, you love her and know she's the one. If you don't, you'll always wonder. If she needs time to think about it, be supportive. Give her some space but be there for her. She'll come around if she thinks your the one for her. my sister just got married last week after putting her guy on standby for a few months after asking her. So it can work out.

Have the balls and go after what you think is right. ;)


all getting engaged does is drop your sex life

once a chick knows she has hooked you, its over

About this... Not true. I enjoyed many blissful times of rampant s$x after the wedding bells rang. It's the kids that cause the slow down. :( but they are worth the trade off. ;)

[AcidRaZor]

Thanks for everyone supporting this and giving me their opinions (even if it's not in support)

I'm going to have to assess the situation between us again when I get there. In the end you can pick up her receptiveness to such a question seeing as we're not dating and she's not sure yet if we're going to give it another try, better 1 on 1. Talking over the phone or text is a bit of a daunting task.

I'm kind of feeling negative about this now. 2nd of May, around 34 days before I'd know for certain and 34 long days to think things over.

[Fern9do]

The more you think about it the more youl start to doubt yourself. Make your mind up now and stick to your choice. Use the 34 days to plan the best possible most romanticest way of doing it!
I guess its better to know she said No than to wonder if she would have said yes.If you catch my drift.
Goodluck man , go get your woman!:)

[AcidRaZor]

Thanks :) Its going to be a wild ride.

[vespax]

I'm kind of feeling negative about this now. 2nd of May, around 34 days before I'd know for certain and 34 long days to think things over.

Don't think yourself out of what might be the best thing in your life. ;)

[Hobagoas]

Thanks for the input, you misunderstood. I'm not 100% sure if she will say yes or not. But it won't bother me to ask ANYWAY even if it's a no. ;)

I'm definately 100% sure I'd want to marry this girl.

I must admit that I didn't read all of the posts, because eish...me got betta things to do :p But still I thought I would add my two cents because I've "known" you for a little while now AR (That's short for AcidRazor, by the way). Why in the world do you want to marry her now all of a sudden? Why the rush? What's the hurry? I'm not sure if she is just coming for a visit or actually moving to Dubai but why marry somebody that you only dated for a relatively short period of time (7 months) and then broke up for various reasons, now somewhat together but not really. Sounds way complicated. Aren't you missing a few steps in between? Like actually dating her for a longer period of time to see if you really mesh in the long run. Why not move in together for a while first (ie 3-5 year) and see how that goes before entering a binding contract. I just don't get it, I think you're being silly. If you are serious about this girl and really want it to last, then go step for step. You're going from step 1 to step 50 in one move.

[AcidRaZor]

its not that im rushing at all. I just feel its a 'now or never' situation. And i reckon we'd stay engaged for a while before getting married. Thats not my worry for now though. I realize all the consequences this might have but if my friend can marry his wife after 6 weeks. Why not. They been together 9 years. And its not all lovey dovey all the time. He said i should go for it, even if she says no, that i should just be prepared for any answer

[vespax]

just go for it. Like you said, now or never. You'll regret it if you don't and she hooks up with some loser later.

[Waaib]

Drink it while it's fizzy! Let us know how it goes though.

[AcidRaZor]

well. She knows me well. Anticipated this and just now out of the blue textd me and said the answer is no and it wont happen. Ah well. Back to my dayjoa

[Waaib]

She's reading this for sure. Maybe she's means No to something else ... like puppies or spandex.

[Debbie]

She's reading this for sure. Maybe she's means No to something else ... like puppies or spandex.

No, it means he thought he was being subtle, and maybe to another man he was, but not to a not-brain-dead woman.

[AcidRaZor]

No, it means he thought he was being subtle, and maybe to another man he was, but not to a not-brain-dead woman.

Not actually. We talked about this in the last few days. And I think she just assumed I'm going to do the same **** as her dad and ask her infront of everyone at her 21st bday party or something.

Not the reason why she said no though, but she said that if I were to ask the answer would be no and that she doesn't feel the same.

Strange woman this one, first she loves me then she doesn't. Then she does and then she changed her mind again.

I'm ok though, not sure whereto from here. As I'm not the most social person on earth and moving on is a process for me, quite difficult. And being in a new country with nobody I know really makes it near impossible :)

I think I might go watch Iron Man tonight at a cine

[Road runner]

Better that you find out now, than a few years into a marriage.

[Fern9do]

Sorry to hear that acid.sounds like she as issues with marriage so dont take it to hard.Try to start dating her again and work your way up from there buddy.

[AcidRaZor]

Yea I'm not sure if that's going to happen, but thanks for the kind words. Can we lock this topic now? Thanks :)

[AcidRaZor]

Hi Guys, sorry to bring this up again and I would appreciate it if you let it die.

I've been explaining this to my friends as well and I want you to get clarity on the situation as well.

1) I never expected anything to happen between us again after we decided to stay friends
2) I'd do ANYTHING to keep the friendship we've built up and had. This to me is more important than anything else.

So yea, just had to get that off my chest. I'm not even hurt that she said no as it was a drunken outburst which got me to think about my future with her and what _might_ be. It's more important having someone like her in my circle of friends than not at all. She's been a positive influence in my life. I'm off my anti-depressants, I quit my job and moved to a different country (somehow never thought it would be possible!) and I'm losing weight and eating right and making plans to improve myself mentally and physically.

Anyway thanks for reading and not replying :P

[Waaib]

I wonder how many people here have had someone say no? I've asked twice and got two yeses.

[Gothan]

well me and the misses dated for about 6 years before I asked, actually did it very casually.

Lucky for me, she detests jewelry, so she designed a tattoo design for her ring finger, and designed one for my arm (no names, just symbols).

And we have been married for 5 years now, and every day is a constant uphill battle for dominance!!!!! Would not change a single thing