question about friendship

[killadoob]

ok lets say your good buddies with a guy and havea good group of guy friends

so one night u go out on a jol with a friend who takes you to what you think is a strip club until you realize its actually a whore house asian style

your both wasted on pills he asks you not to say anything u agree, you go with him to buy condoms and what not

now my fiancee is like best friends with his g/f

so i told my fiancee about this and she told his g/f

now this oke is mad with me because i told everyone that he screwed a whore

my thinking is this, if i left it and my fiancee found out 3 months later would she believe i never screwed a whore

what would you guys have done?

i feel bad about saying i would not say anything and then i said something but at the same time i dont think its right to cheat on your g/f with a possibly aids infected whore

anyways his g/f does not believe me and thinks im talking crap because he told her he went for a massage

now my friend has not come to me and said im sorry for putting you in that position, he is just mad because i told my fiancee who told his g/f

do you think i broke some sort of man code? i dont mind lying about going to strips clubs and getting a lap dance and what not but i cannot look at his g/f knowing my buddie (ex buddie) screwed a whore

now its seems alot of my other guy friends are not happy about me saying something

[Moederloos]

http://mybroadband.co.za/vb/showpost.php?p=1767680&postcount=3

[Dolby]

I'd blame your fiancee for saying something :/

You're supposed to be able to tell anything to your partner and not even think twice it's go much further.

[killadoob]

no but i wanted it to come out thats why i told her

my question is am i in wrong for telling ppl what he has done?

as a friend should i let my friends screw hookers while their g/f's dont know anything about it?

[Moederloos]

now its seems alot of my other guy friends are not happy about me saying something

You need better quality friends.

[killadoob]

ya those are my thoughts as well moeder

[Dolby]

as a friend should i let my friends screw hookers while their g/f's dont know anything about it?

Yea ... I can't even put myself in that situation because my friends would never do that to their girlfriends. As said above, you need better quality friends.

[Nick333]

no but i wanted it to come out thats why i told her

my question is am i in wrong for telling ppl what he has done?

as a friend should i let my friends screw hookers while their g/f's dont know anything about it?

Assuming you are better friends with the dude than his gf then why would you want it to come out?

[Ecco]

as a friend should i let my friends screw hookers while their g/f's dont know anything about it?

As a friend you should tell you mate that you feel what he is doing is wrong.

Further then that you crossing a line that guys should not cross. What he does at the end of the day is his business, all you can do is let him know how you feel about the situation.

[Moederloos]

As a friend you should tell you mate that you feel what he is doing is wrong.

Further then that you crossing a line that guys should not cross. What he does at the end of the day is his business, all you can do is let him know how you feel about the situation.

Crap. One lives by one's own moral code - not by some fictitious "guy code".
If my friends behaved like that I would kick them to the curb lickity-split.

[killadoob]

Assuming you are better friends with the dude than his gf then why would you want it to come out?


because i think its wrong and my fincee is like best friends with his g/f

i just think with all these diseases around that doing this is not something that should kept secret

so you guys think i broke a cardinal male rule?

what he does is his business but not when he takes me with him and asks me to keep quite about it

[Nick333]

because i think its wrong and my fincee is like best friends with his g/f

i just think with all these diseases around that doing this is not something that should kept secret

so you guys think i broke a cardinal male rule?

what he does is his business but not when he takes me with him and asks me to keep quite about it

Nah not really. You have a good point that he shouldn't be putting his gf at risk. I hate being asked to keep peoples dirty secrets myself.

Tell me though did you tell your gf about it knowing should would tell his gf or did you tell her to tell his gf?

[Devill]

You need better quality friends.

So do you get a bullet for giving advice on here too?

/Puts 2c in

Anyway....you should have told your buddy that it is focked up right there and then, but as you said you were wasted on pills so that is something different .

He should not be screwing hookers in any case.
Also your gf should have kept the secret.
And if your "friends" cant forgive ou then get new friends.

[Ecco]

Crap. One lives by one's own moral code - not by some fictitious "guy code".
If my friends behaved like that I would kick them to the curb lickity-split.

Sure.

All i am saying is that deal with the oke they way you please, but you don't have to go tell his gf/ wife what he has been getting up to. Thats for him to sort out with his wife/gf

[Moederloos]

Sure.

All i am saying is that deal with the oke they way you please, but you don't have to go tell his gf/ wife what he has been getting up to. Thats for him to sort out with his wife/gf

Depends - probably not. But - killa did not do that - he told his own GF who told his friends GF.

[Velenoso]

Whether you think what he did was wrong or not, you shouldn't have told your girlfriend about it. What he does is his business and he asked you not to say anything to which you agreed. You then went and told someone. That is unacceptable in my opinion. This guy is your friend! I've heard of a lot worse things than sleeping with a whore. It's not really a 'man code' it's just a basic principle of keeping your word to someone.

[Ecco]

You need better quality friends.

Both guys were on pills. One guy slept with a hooker in addition. Quality if friends hardly comes into play when both were on drugs to start of with, bit like the pot calling the kettle black no?

[Moederloos]

So do you get a bullet for giving advice on here too?


Call it the difference between rubber-necking over some road kill, and intentionally aiming one's car at a deer.
:p

[Ecco]

Depends - probably not. But - killa did not do that - he told his own GF who told his friends GF.

Killa told his ow gf because he knew she would tell his friends gf, in essence he could have gone direct to the gf.


no but i wanted it to come out thats why i told her

my question is am i in wrong for telling ppl what he has done?

as a friend should i let my friends screw hookers while their g/f's dont know anything about it?

[Nick333]

Whether you think what he did was wrong or not, you shouldn't have told your girlfriend about it. What he does is his business and he asked you not to say anything to which you agreed. You then went and told someone. That is unacceptable in my opinion. This guy is your friend! I've heard of a lot worse things than sleeping with a whore. It's not really a 'man code' it's just a basic principle of keeping your word to someone.

I'm sorry I think honesty with your significant other trumps all. The bro's before ho's nonsense is infantile.

[Alan]

Crap. One lives by one's own moral code - not by some fictitious "guy code".
If my friends behaved like that I would kick them to the curb lickity-split.

Agreed

Killa you should have stood up to your 'friend' and told him straight that screwing whores behind his gf's back is not on. The fact the guy would even contemplate doing that would result in me having nothing do with him. If he could do that to his gf what stopping him from betraying you or anybody else

Some friend. :sick:

[Nick333]

Both guys were on pills. One guy slept with a hooker in addition. Quality if friends hardly comes into play when both were on drugs to start of with, bit like the pot calling the kettle black no?

Being high/drunk/whatever is not an excuse for bad behavior. If you do stupid **** when you're drunk take responsibility or don't drink/ get high.

[xrapidx]

I'd think my fiance broke my trust.

Fiance > best friend? or not?

[Scooby_Doo]

You need better quality friends.

Yip i was gonna say interesting kinda friends.

[Moederloos]

I'd think my fiance broke my trust.

Fiance > best friend? or not?

Yeah. But then again, some secrets are not meant to be kept. Moral choices are not black and white.

[Nocturnity]

I agree with some of the posts here, however, you should have told him to leave his girlfriend. Screwing someone behind her back is not on, whether it's a prossie or some 2-bit ho. Makes no difference. If he was single, there wouldn't be a problem (other than you warning him of STDs because he's your friend).

That said, you were also in the wrong. You can't go out and get *****ed up on drugs and claim moral superiority. That's ridiculous. The lines of morality in this world are seriously warped...

[Nick333]

I'd think my fiance broke my trust.

Fiance > best friend? or not?

Thats what I'm thinking. Unless he specifically asked her to.

But then again it comes down to what you want and expect from your relationship.

[Moederloos]

I agree with some of the posts here, however, you should have told him to leave his girlfriend. Screwing someone behind her back is not on, whether it's a prossie or some 2-bit ho. Makes no difference. If he was single, there wouldn't be a problem (other than you warning him of STDs because he's your friend).

That said, you were also in the wrong. You can't go out and get *****ed up on drugs and claim moral superiority. That's ridiculous. The lines of morality in this world are seriously warped...

I did not see him claim moral superiority - although some posters did do that on his behalf.

[Alan]

Being high/drunk/whatever is not an excuse for bad behavior. If you do stupid **** when you're drunk take responsibility or don't drink/ get high.

Wow we agree on something :eek:


I'd think my fiance broke my trust.

Well telling your fiancé would really be sticking her between a rock and a hard place. How could somebody expect her to keep quite about her friend's bf screwing whores :eek:. It's literally a life and death situation.

I think Killa has learned a harsh lesson

[Nick333]

Wow we agree on something :eek:


It was bound to happen eventually. :p

[JK8]

You not supposed to say anything.
Thats how I would have felt about it. Its none of your business.

If it was family thats another story.

Just my opinion.

[Velenoso]

I'm sorry I think honesty with your significant other trumps all. The bro's before ho's nonsense is infantile.

I agree with you, that is beside the point, he told his girlfriend without warning her not to say anything to the other guy's girlfriend. i.e. he basically screwed the guy over when he promised he wouldn't do so.

So what has this achieved? The friend's girlfriend did not believe killa's girlfriend. Now it just seems like killa is an ******* who is purposefully causing trouble for his friend. He should have just kept quiet/made his girlfriend swear to keep quiet about it. It is between his friend and his girlfriend to resolve.

[Nick333]

I agree with you, that is beside the point, he told his girlfriend without warning her not to say anything to the other guy's girlfriend. i.e. he basically screwed the guy over when he promised he wouldn't do so.

So what has this achieved? The friend's girlfriend did not believe killa's girlfriend. Now it just seems like killa is an ******* who is purposefully causing trouble for his friend. He should have just kept quiet/made his girlfriend swear to keep quiet about it. It is between his friend and his girlfriend to resolve.

Oh well none of us is perfect. He did what he thought was best and he's learnt something. Life go's on.

[Alan]

You not supposed to say anything.
Thats how I would have felt about it. Its none of your business.

If it was family thats another story.

Just my opinion.

Never ceases to amaze me what some people can turn a blind eye too :eek:

[Alan]

So what has this achieved? The friend's girlfriend did not believe killa's girlfriend. Now it just seems like killa is an ******* who is purposefully causing trouble for his friend. He should have just kept quiet/made his girlfriend swear to keep quiet about it. It is between his friend and his girlfriend to resolve.

and if the gf got aids?

Jeez and people wonder why it's so prevelant

Also why are people so concerned about this 'buddy code' and 'betrayal of trust' of a guy who does exactly that to his gf :eek:

[doobiwan]

You did 100% the right. Sorry, but your mate is scum and you'll be better off without him.

If it were me and it came down to it, I would have told the girlfriend myself.

These 'kids' on this forum need to get it in their own thick skulls, that while he's lying about his commitment to his girlfriend, he's not only endangering his own life, but hers as well. That's besides putting you in a position that no real friend would ever ask, jeopardising your relationship with your fiance in the process. It's the kind of thing that hangs like a dark cloud over a relationship and it will come out.

And I'll say right now, if anyone even thinks that what you mate did was acceptable, they're a ****ing lowlife and need their heads checked.

[alf101]

On the bright side, you found out that u can't trust your fiance to keep her mouth shut.

[Alan]

You did 100% the right. Sorry, but your mate is scum and you'll be better off without him.

If it were me and it came down to it, I would have told the girlfriend myself.

These 'kids' on this forum need to get it in their own thick skulls, that while he's lying about his commitment to his girlfriend, he's not only endangering his own life, but hers as well. That's besides putting you in a position that no real friend would ever ask, jeopardising your relationship with your fiance in the process. It's the kind of thing that hangs like a dark cloud over a relationship and it will come out.

And I'll say right now, if anyone even thinks that what you mate did was acceptable, they're a ****ing lowlife and need their heads checked.

Exactly

[Ecco]

I dont think many guys here said what killa's friend did was acceptable. I dont think its acceptable that killa was on pills either.

What i did say was that i didnt think killa should have intentionally told his gf so that the friends gf would find out.

The friends gf should find out about this from her bf. Killa should have told him to tell her, and if the guy didnt want to say anything to his gf thats the end of it.

[bwana]

Killa . . . you forgot about chick-code. By telling your fiancee you put her in the position of having to disclose all to her friend.

[Dolby]

I thought man code over ruled chick code

[JK8]

Never ceases to amaze me what some people can turn a blind eye too :eek:

Why should he say something? Little tell tale.
Maybe he wanted some action to and was jealous!!:p

Guys have to keep their friends business amongst friends. If a friend of mine had to blurt out something stupid that I did to my Gf/Potential wife, I would beat the crap out of him. I wouldnt tell on him. Id tease him but thats as far as it goes.

[Nocturnity]

bwana: That was his intention. :)

[Alan]

Why should he say something? Little tell tale.
Maybe he wanted some action to and was jealous!!:p

Guys have to keep their friends business amongst friends. If a friend of mine had to blurt out something stupid that I did to my Gf/Potential wife, I would beat the crap out of him. I wouldnt tell on him. Id tease him but thats as far as it goes.

Because it's the right thing to do. A person's health is at risk. Some obviously have no respect for other people's health or dignity.

Of course you'd be fine with your friend if you picked up aids from your gf whos friend's bf(your friend) knew she was sleeping around with high risk individuals :o

[Aphrael]

So what has this achieved? The friend's girlfriend did not believe killa's girlfriend. Now it just seems like killa is an ******* who is purposefully causing trouble for his friend. He should have just kept quiet/made his girlfriend swear to keep quiet about it. It is between his friend and his girlfriend to resolve.

How are they going to resolve something when he is not completely open with her? It would be interesting if six months or a year down the line, the truth really did come out, because he caught an STD from his stupid one night stand. Then that g/f will be apologizing to killa's fiance for not believing her in the first place.

And just for the record, I am female ...

I have read through most of this thread and feel that killa did the right thing. Killa did say he would be quiet about it, but when your own morals come into question, then there is not much you can do - you need to live with a clear conscience. Maybe killa did not approach the situation right. Maybe he should have gone to that friend directly and taken it from there.

Had he gone to his fiance and said, "Don't tell anyone I told you." and the truth then did come out, I would have been upset. But he left it open, and of course, best friends talk, but this time, it did not have the desired consequences.

With all said and done, when the **** hits the fan, you find out who your real friends are. And it seems killa is in need of some new friends. Sorry, dude.

[killadoob]

bwana i told her because i didnt want to go to his g/f who would not believe me which she didnt anyway

i knew my chick would go and tell thats why i did it

also i have seen some comments about pillz and moral and what not, no where does it say taking pills is immoral

drinking is just as bad as chowing a couple of pills but that is acceptable, drinking and pillz are the same thing just one is legal and the other is not

if you think taking pillz and screwing around on your g/f with a hooker are in the same league u need your head read :)

anyways some good comments thanx guys :)

[JK8]

Lol ok.... I still would have kept quiet.

[Dolby]

Second time in my life I agree with JK8 ...

Probably because we're not in the car section

[AcidRaZor]

I haven't read everything but in case someone posted it already I apologize.

The definition / difference between ethics and morals is that the ethical man knows he shouldn't cheat. The moral man doesn't.

[hxc87x]

i get pretty bleak with guys who cheat on their girlfriends. its even worse if they have to wear a radiation suit to keep from getting something while they're cheating! you should've kicked some sense into your mate before he loved her long time.

my opinion:

to start off, you should've told your fiance. maybe not about who did what etc but just enough so she can be sure you didnt do anything. then you should've told your friend to tell his gf. if he didnt tell her, it would be your moral obligation to tell her.
but seeing as thats not how things ended up...
your mate cheated on his gf with a WHORE. thats scum right there.
he's mad at you because you are the reason why his gf found out... but she wouldnt have known this if he hadnt stuck it in the WHORE. so its still his fault.
and your mates being mad at you because you were honest with your fiance so you dont end up potentially losing the most important person in your life? if they cant understand that then they're not worth the trouble.

my dad had this thing he always said about my friends in high school: "the quality of those you surround yourself with will determine the quality of your life" if you hang with guys who feel its cool to screw around, you're going to get screwed.

and for those of you who are pulling the "bro code" and "bros before hoes" cards...
you dont marry your bro, you marry your fiance. bro code doesnt apply when it can end up in someone getting aids or lose their fiance. its only bro's before hoes when it doesnt actually involve a hoe... and if you're in highschool (even then its circumstantial!)

[bwana]

bwana i told her because i didnt want to go to his g/f who would not believe me which she didnt anyway

i knew my chick would go and tell thats why i did itOh - so you wanted his g/f to know?

[Nocturnity]

Can't say your response surprises me, killadoob. I agree, it's pretty much the same thing. Getting *****ed up on pills/booze/weed/speed/acid/coke/heroin is all the same, isn't it? All of them make you lose a certain aspect of control and take you out of your "normal" mindset. I hate when people use that as an excuse. I'm really not claiming superiority here or anything. I'm merely stating the facts.

Anyway, like I said earlier, you should have approached the person directly and if he insisted on doing what he did, you should have just left.

[bwana]

Can't say your response surprises me, killadoob. I agree, it's pretty much the same thing. Getting *****ed up on pills/booze/weed/speed/acid/coke/heroin is all the same, isn't it? All of them make you lose a certain aspect of control and take you out of your "normal" mindset. I hate when people use that as an excuse. I'm really not claiming superiority here or anything. I'm merely stating the facts.

Anyway, like I said earlier, you should have approached the person directly and if he insisted on doing what he did, you should have just left.I agree with this - you condoned his actions when you said you wouldnt say anything and then covered your own butt by telling your fiancee.

[SlyFly]

When he asked you would you keep quiet about this, you should have said no, what you're about to do is wrong... Not only to his gf but because of the position he will be placing you in...

But after that point, its all messed up... Depends how good friends you are with your fainces best friend... But telling your faince put her in even a worse position than you and the fact that you wanted her to tell her friend (You buddies gf) makes you kind of a bad friend...

Why? Because you said you would keep quiet... The mistake you made wasnt telling your fiance it was not telling him that evening, dont care how messed up you were...

[killadoob]

Can't say your response surprises me, killadoob. I agree, it's pretty much the same thing. Getting *****ed up on pills/booze/weed/speed/acid/coke/heroin is all the same, isn't it? All of them make you lose a certain aspect of control and take you out of your "normal" mindset. I hate when people use that as an excuse. I'm really not claiming superiority here or anything. I'm merely stating the facts.

Anyway, like I said earlier, you should have approached the person directly and if he insisted on doing what he did, you should have just left.

im not using anything as an excuse, its just that when your drunk high whateva your up for anything, i would never in my life take even my closest buddie to whore house and ask him to lie for me, your mindset is way different your on something or drinking

yea i know i messed up by saying i would not tell anyone, for that i know i did wrong but the next morning i could not stop thinking about what u can catch without knowing someone is screwing around and i just felt i had to say something

it also annoyed me that he waited for the pills to kick before we missioned to the strip joint come whore house

im not using it as an excuse but i was pretty whacked man by the time we got there

also what pissed me off is that he thought we where such good friends and that means i would let him do what he wanted and not ever say anything

i also thought if your going to do this dont take your friends with you, go and do it on your own

we where having a great time dancing and what not at the club and then once the pills started kicking we went across the road

what gets me about this whole situation is i have said sorry for the way i went about it

his reply was i'll never trust anyone again

he could have said, im sorry for putting you in that position and asking to lie for me

i did what he wanted me to do for him

i lied to his face just the same as i would have done when we got home and my g/f had ask where we had been

[alf101]

I take it your buddy won't be asking you to buy "meat" for him again.
Is this what that other thread was really about?;)

[JK8]

So is it just because he cheated or because of what he cheated with?
Coz if it was a hawt chick, would you have still kept quiet?

[Nocturnity]

Ah, I think I see what you're getting at. I still disagree with you about the drug thing but aside from that it sounds to me like you're upset because you've hurt your friend and you realize you've probably lost him. That's perfectly understandable. You made the judgment call to tell your girlfriend so that his girlfriend would find out. You can't take action and not expect it to have consequences. Did you expect him to thank you for betraying his trust? Yes, he trusted you enough to share his (weird) secret with you and he made a mistake by misinterpreting your level of commitment to him. That was his mistake.

Anyway, you've done what you've done and you now need to deal with the consequences. Depending on how strong your friend and his girlfriend's relationship is, you've potentially estranged yourself from him and your girlfriend from her. That means you need to accept it and get on with your life.

Just my opinion...

[Ecco]

So is it just because he cheated or because of what he cheated with?
Coz if it was a hawt chick, would you have still kept quiet?

Interesting Spin you have just put on this JK8, very interesting.....

[killadoob]

im not sure to be honest jk, i think alot of it has to do with the hooker, i dont mind hookers and what not but its dangerous man

i think it is was with another chick i would have gone and said you better tell her or break up, i would not have wanted it to come out this way

i just feel if you can screw a hooker once, how many times is he doing it or has he done it

aggg at the end of the day the way i went about it was totally wrong because i have messed up a good friend group and his g/f thinks im talking bollocks

guess u live and learn

[killadoob]

Ah, I think I see what you're getting at. I still disagree with you about the drug thing but aside from that it sounds to me like you're upset because you've hurt your friend and you realize you've probably lost him. That's perfectly understandable. You made the judgment call to tell your girlfriend so that his girlfriend would find out. You can't take action and not expect it to have consequences. Did you expect him to thank you for betraying his trust? Yes, he trusted you enough to share his (weird) secret with you and he made a mistake by misinterpreting your level of commitment to him. That was his mistake.

Anyway, you've done what you've done and you now need to deal with the consequences. Depending on how strong your friend and his girlfriend's relationship is, you've potentially estranged yourself from him and your girlfriend from her. That means you need to accept it and get on with your life.

Just my opinion...

yup very true exactly what has happened

sometimes you need to think before you act, something i have learned

[Alan]

yup very true exactly what has happened

sometimes you need to think before you act, something i have learned

Well at least you know you can never trust that friend of yours even if he accepts you back.

Why on earth you'd want to be a friend with a person like that is another matter

[JK8]

im not sure to be honest jk, i think alot of it has to do with the hooker, i dont mind hookers and what not but its dangerous man

i think it is was with another chick i would have gone and said you better tell her or break up, i would not have wanted it to come out this way

i just feel if you can screw a hooker once, how many times is he doing it or has he done it

aggg at the end of the day the way i went about it was totally wrong because i have messed up a good friend group and his g/f thinks im talking b*llocks

guess u live and learn

Yip! Coz of your spying none of your GFs friends will trust you...
They will think you gonna tell your GF everything...
That wont be good. Sooner or later they wont want you around them even though you did a "good" thing.

[Gunther]

You should not have told your woman...

[killadoob]

yea jk thats true

in my defence though i have never told anything about my GF's to the chicks

there have a few incidents but thats guy stuff

what he did aint got to do with bro's before ho's

but you are right :(, agg well i made my bed i must sleep in it

sometimes the right thing is not always the right thing i guess

[Syndyre]

http://mybroadband.co.za/vb/showpost.php?p=1767680&postcount=3

:D


no but i wanted it to come out thats why i told her

my question is am i in wrong for telling ppl what he has done?

as a friend should i let my friends screw hookers while their g/f's dont know anything about it?

Personally I think you did the right tihng, although others will definitely disagree.


because i think its wrong and my fincee is like best friends with his g/f

i just think with all these diseases around that doing this is not something that should kept secret

so you guys think i broke a cardinal male rule?

what he does is his business but not when he takes me with him and asks me to keep quite about it

What he does is his business but when he puts his gf at risk she has a right to know.


I'm sorry I think honesty with your significant other trumps all. The bro's before ho's nonsense is infantile.

Yeah.

[sabagamma]

I don't want to be harsh but I am gonna call it as I see it.

Your friend has no fidelity and you have no integrity, sounds like you're perfect for each other.

[Moederloos]

I don't want to be harsh but I am gonna call it as I see it.

Your friend has no fidelity and you have no integrity, sounds like you're perfect for each other.

No integrity? Sorry - I see it different. It takes integrity to right a wrong and not run away from it (something our "leadership" can take note of).

[sabagamma]

No integrity? Sorry - I see it different. It takes integrity to right a wrong and not run away from it (something our "leadership" can take note of).

I agree with you, but your example and the thread topic are not closely related.

Let me explain, if I give you my word Moede and go back on it then I have no integrity. The reason for me going back on my word could be the best reason in the world, but that is exactly what makes keeping my word so difficult. That is why we value integrity, not because it is so easy but because it is so difficult.

[Keeper]

U should not have told ur gf knowing she and that chic are good friends. that will only FORCE her to tell.

What your friend did he probably deserved it tho.

But still, your GF would prolly never have found out, and if she did you could explain you didn't do anything but vowed not to tell about said friends doing.

It all depends on how good of friends you are.... if you were golden, unbreakable, long time BFF's (lol) then you screwed up big time.

it all depends...

[HavocXphere]

Good call imo. Would have been far better to stop him before he hits the w-house...but to late for that now.

Had you kept quite, they might have married without her knowing his secret...which would also have been cruel to her.

[Moederloos]

Good call imo. Would have been far better to stop him before he hits the w-house...but to late for that now.

Had you kept quite, they might have married without her knowing his secret...which would also have been cruel to her.


http://mybroadband.co.za/vb/showthread.php?t=120312
:D:D

[HavocXphere]

http://mybroadband.co.za/vb/showthread.php?t=120312
:D:D
Your right.:o In my defense, I'd like to say that English is not my 1st language.

[Moederloos]

Your right.:o In my defense, I'd like to say that English is not my 1st language.

lol - sorry. A bit of good natured ribbing is what makes the world worth living in.
:p

[HavocXphere]

lol - sorry. A bit of good natured ribbing is what makes the world worth living in.
:p
No need to apologize. Better to have it pointed out than to make the same mistake again and again.

[Moederloos]

I agree with you, but your example and the thread topic are not closely related.

Let me explain, if I give you my word Moede and go back on it then I have no integrity. The reason for me going back on my word could be the best reason in the world, but that is exactly what makes keeping my word so difficult. That is why we value integrity, not because it is so easy but because it is so difficult.

You do have a point. Although one can argue that a "deal" brokered on the spot and under the influence is not worth much. There is also the inherent "word" one has in a relationship - not to harm another and so forth.

[Debbie]

rofl at everyone who expects killa to respect the sanctity of his friendship with his buddy; but does not expect the same to apply to the friendship between killa's gf and the buddy's chick.

good for you killa! you did the right thing. if i was your gf and i started hearing bits and pieces of this story 3 months after it had happened, i would also question whether you had also slept with a <insert word of choice>.

agree with nick333- your relationship with your fiancee is primary, and should always be primary.

[Hoof-Hearted]

@killa
maybe if you weren't such a pil-kop you would have gone home and saved yourself all the trouble...

I dunno... use it ... don't use it...

[killadoob]

im not a pillkop it was the first time in like 2 years i had taken

i do it once in awhile for something different but i hear you man :)

[Syndyre]

You broke confidence dude, how is he going to trust you again. Bad move ... even if you were doing a stupid thing, this is probably worse.

Isn't it slightly ironic to worry about breaking the trust of someone who's broken the trust of his gf in an infinitely worse way?

[Syndyre]

There's no irony, just repetition of a mistake. It has to end somewhere, but why get an attack of honesty at that point? Maybe that's where he should have begun to realise that the truth is best and your word should be your bond.

I agree with you in most cases and I think he should have said from the beginning that he wouldn't go along with it etc. but you could argue his honesty was protecting the gf.

[Praeses]

You shouldn't have told him you'll keep quiet and end up telling your woman. You should've just told him you won't allow him screwing up his relationship and possibly infect your fiancee's best friend. Either way, what he did was wrong and if he's gonna hold it against you, he's a worthless friend. Do you really want to be friends with a guy that doesn't care if he infects people with STDs and ruin trusting relationships? He should be thanking you for hopefully preventing spreading disease to his gf, even if they break up. He sounds pretty irresponsible.

[Syndyre]

I think the STD thing is overblown here (excuse the pun). If they were visiting hookers, then that is taken care of is it not - and they wouldn't have had to buy protection - making the story a bit skief. But anyhow, it's about trust. Once shattered, rarely regained.

What do you mean "taken care of"?

[killadoob]

hmmm i highly doubt hookers keep condoms

specially when its 350 a box and 450 for no condom at that place

as for being tested how do you explain to your g/f, its fine hunny they have condoms and they get tested (presumably) umm hunny i think they get tested im not sure actually

yes that logical


when a man knows he is going to get laid does he leave it up to the female to provide a condom? or does he keep some in car/wallet etc

[Syndyre]

No need to buy them. Would the hookers not keep a supply?
And hookers have regular tests (presumably).

Presumably they'd have a supply. As for the regular tests I'm not so sure.

[Alan]

Isn't it slightly ironic to worry about breaking the trust of someone who's broken the trust of his gf in an infinitely worse way?

Exactly


I think the STD thing is overblown here (excuse the pun). If they were visiting hookers, then that is taken care of is it not - and they wouldn't have had to buy protection - making the story a bit skief. But anyhow, it's about trust. Once shattered, rarely regained.

Jeez it's becoming more and more evident why aids is so prevalent :rolleyes:

[Alan]

So if Killa's friend went and shot some innocent person dead for their wallet and Killa promised not to say anything it would be expected of him to keep his word. :eek:

[Syndyre]

No need to buy them. Would the hookers not keep a supply?
And hookers have regular tests (presumably).

I wonder what your chance of catching something, specifically HIV is, if they're infected when you use a condom?

[sabagamma]

Exactly
So in your little world because Killa's friend broke his implicit vow of fidelity to his gf then it is ok for Killa to break his word? You have some sense of morality.


Jeez it's becoming more and more evident why aids is so prevalent :rolleyes:
If you look at the stats you will find that casual sex causes the overwhelming majority of Aids infections - so leave the happy hookers alone.


So if Killa's friend went and shot some innocent person dead for their wallet and Killa promised not to say anything it would be expected of him to keep his word. :eek:

There is no need for a contrived example, it is just a red herring and does not help the discussion. Killa has given us a breakdown of the matter at hand, so lets just stick to it and not derail the topic.

[Alan]

Ja, because some people don't realise that condoms are the main way to prevent it :D Even the hookers know that doh!


Actually the main way to prevent it is to abstain


So in your little world because Killa's friend broke his implicit vow of fidelity to his gf then it is ok for Killa to break his word? You have some sense of morality.

Yes. Says a lot about your morality when your 'word'; to a deceitful prick is worth more than warning an innocent person who not only is being deceived, used and her dignity abused but her life is possibly being endangered.

I honour my word to people who deserve it. If they think they can abuse others while holding me to my 'word' they can go jump. Maybe you should think about somebody other than yourself and your 'word' and what devastating consequences your selfishness can have on others.


If you look at the stats you will find that casual sex causes the overwhelming majority of Aids infections - so leave the happy hookers alone.

It all adds up.



There is no need for a contrived example, it is just a red herring and does not help the discussion. Killa has given us a breakdown of the matter at hand, so lets just stick to it and not derail the topic.

It's only a derailment because you can't deal with it. It's a question of how much your 'word' is worth. Well is it worth letting somebody gett away with murder? Or does that cross the line but somebody shagging whores behind a person's back doesn't. So much for morality :o

[sabagamma]

Actually the main way to prevent it is to abstain

True and continued abstinence will lead to a human population of zero. The best way to avoid AIDS is to be monogamous, use condoms and not do drugs / share needles.



Yes. Says a lot about your morality when your 'word'; to a deceitful prick is worth more than warning an innocent person who not only is being deceived, used and her dignity abused but her life is possibly being endangered.

I honour my word to people who deserve it. If they think they can abuse others while holding me to my 'word' they can go jump. Maybe you should think about somebody other than yourself and your 'word' and what devastating consequences your selfishness can have on others.


My word is exactly that - mine and it comes with my backing. You can be guaranteed that I will honour it no matter who you are, be you a bum in the street or Warren Buffet. You cannot be trusted, today if I am considered an upstanding member of society you will keep your word, tomorrow I could be falsely accused and you will dishonour your word - shameless.

How exactly do you decide who are those who deserve it? Is it those who conform to your self-righteous view of "deserving"? Should we take a test before we tell you something? Who would you have honoured more, Pontius Pilate or Johan the Baptist? What exactly are your criteria so that we may know if we are deserving enough of your honour?

Can we assume that since Killa is a pill popping, whorehouse frequenting liar that he does not deserve the honour of your word?



It all adds up.


True, but you don't collect raindrops when trying to stop a flood.



It's only a derailment because you can't deal with it. It's a question of how much your 'word' is worth. Well is it worth letting somebody gett away with murder? Or does that cross the line but somebody shagging whores behind a person's back doesn't. So much for morality :o

There is no need for a derailment of this thread so don't try and justify it. Why are you trying to confuse the issue (you do that a lot BTW)? The water is already murky - no need to throw more mud at it. Focus on Killa and his whoring friend, we are far from done with that.

[Alan]

True and continued abstinence will lead to a human population of zero. The best way to avoid AIDS is to be monogamous, use condoms and not do drugs / share needles.

Abstinence from sleeping around. Having more than one partner.



My word is exactly that - mine and it comes with my backing. You can be guaranteed that I will honour it no matter who you are, be you a bum in the street or Warren Buffet. You cannot be trusted, today if I am considered an upstanding member of society you will keep your word, tomorrow I could be falsely accused and you will dishonour your word - shameless.

How exactly do you decide who are those who deserve it? Is it those who conform to your self-righteous view of "deserving"? Should we take a test before we tell you something? Who would you have honoured more, Pontius Pilate or Johan the Baptist? What exactly are your criteria so that we may know if we are deserving enough of your honour?

Good to know you value your 'word' so highly you're willing to allow a third party suffer perhaps even pay with her life. I'd rather 'comprimise' my word in favour of her.

People who know me know exactly what I stand for. They know if they ask me to keep my word regarding certain matters like intrusting me with looking after their house or pets while they're away I'll certainly honour it. They know I wouldn't uphold my word if they abused for nefarious means. Of course I wouldn't make the promise in the first place though.

I give my word to people. If through their actions they prove they don't deserve it like taking advantage of an innocent third party then they've proven themselve unworthy of my word.

Thankfully I don't have you as a friend. To think you could socialize and accept hospitality from somebody while holding such a devastating fact about something so close to a person's world as a relationship beggars belief. How can you look them in the eye knowing that your 'word' to some scum bag could quite possibly result in her getting aids :eek:. Then to think you'd expect your friends to do that to you. Unbelievable.

sabagamma: I'm dying of aids from my cheating gf

person: I knew she was sleeping around but I promised not to say anything

sabagamma: Good. You kept your word. A true honourable friend you are.

Honestly is that not totally fsked up:confused:



Can we assume that since Killa is a pill popping, whorehouse frequenting liar that he does not deserve the honour of your word?

Who said he was a liar. I'd give him my word. By coming out and being honest about what the scum was doing to his gf it shows he has decent morals. I'd never give my word for anything nefarious so I need not worry.



True, but you don't collect raindrops when trying to stop a flood.

Every bit helps. Collect enough rain drops could well go a long way to help stopping a flood.



There is no need for a derailment of this thread so don't try and justify it. Why are you trying to confuse the issue (you do that a lot BTW)? The water is already murky - no need to throw more mud at it. Focus on Killa and his whoring friend, we are far from done with that.

I'm focusing on a person's 'word' which is the crux of the argument. Going by yours it's safe to assume you would allow somebody to get away with murder because you gave them your 'word'. After all you said it yourself My word is exactly that - mine and it comes with my backing. You can be guaranteed that I will honour it no matter who you are

[Velenoso]

My word is exactly that - mine and it comes with my backing. You can be guaranteed that I will honour it no matter who you are, be you a bum in the street or Warren Buffet. You cannot be trusted, today if I am considered an upstanding member of society you will keep your word, tomorrow I could be falsely accused and you will dishonour your word - shameless.

How exactly do you decide who are those who deserve it? Is it those who conform to your self-righteous view of "deserving"? Should we take a test before we tell you something? Who would you have honoured more, Pontius Pilate or Johan the Baptist? What exactly are your criteria so that we may know if we are deserving enough of your honour?


Exactly. You word is your word. No matter WHAT. Don't give it if you're not prepared to honor it. Once you've given it that's that, whether its covering up a murder or whatever. So if you can't handle it, don't give your word.

[Alan]

Exactly. You word is your word. No matter WHAT. Don't give it if you're not prepared to honor it. Once you've given it that's that, whether its covering up a murder or whatever. So if you can't handle it, don't give your word.

Well I'm sure every rapist, pedophile, cheater,and mass murdering psychopath is happy to hear they could rely on your word if they got it:cool:

Pity their victims.

[Velenoso]

Well I'm sure every rapist, pedophile, cheater,and mass murdering psychopath is happy to hear they could rely on your word if they got it:cool:

Pity their victims.

Alan, my point is, don't give your word to protect something/someone that you do not agree with? If someone told me they raped someone I would crack his head, I would not give him my word to keep quiet about it, then go report him to the cops the next day? Know what I mean?

[Syndyre]

Alan, my point is, don't give your word to protect something/someone that you do not agree with? If someone told me they raped someone I would crack his head, I would not give him my word to keep quiet about it, then go report him to the cops the next day? Know what I mean?

What if you agreed to keep quiet about something that was seemingly meaningless at the time but you later found out was related to e.g. a rape? Would you not break your word for anything?

[alf101]

When friends like these, who needs enemas?

[HavocXphere]

When friends like these, who needs enemas?
I think you've had enough to drink for one night. Time to go to bed.;)

[Freshy-ZN]

Seems to me the fact that you were high on illegal substances caused you to give your word on something that you wouldnt have done sober. Thats where the *** struck the fan.

So you made a bad decision to go along with his shenan igans and he made a bad decision to have a whore. You felt bad once the drugs wore off. How do you know he didnt as well? Had you discussed it with him when you were both sober you could have ensured that it never happened again (until the next trip at least)

So now you are know around town as a person that cant be trusted and he as a guy who cheats on his gf with whores. What a situation..........

You broke a man code alright. But only because you werent in a sober enough state to have made an agreement under the relevant man code.

Good luck.

[Debbie]

My word is exactly that - mine and it comes with my backing. You can be guaranteed that I will honour it no matter who you are, be you a bum in the street or Warren Buffet.

Then what of killa's word to his fiancee? Is the trust between killa and his fiancee subservient to the trust between killa and his friend? That's a recipe for divorce!

killa, you did the right thing. your buddy put you in a position that jeopardised YOUR engagement and YOUR relationship with your fiancee. He broke the trust first.... tell him to go jump in a lake.

And to everyone who thinks it is okay to sleep with whores behind your gf's back and expect your buddies to keep your dirty secrets, at risk to their own relationships, you are not a true friend. What goes around, comes around.

[ShaunSA]

What killa's mate did sucked bigtime but it was his choice.
What killa did also sucked but it was also a choice and I think he has learnt a valuable lesson.
Life is all about choices and once you act on a choice you can't go back on it.

Just one question though. To all who feel killa did the right thing by telling his g/f. We are regularly faced with situations where we realise someone we know is having an affair/sleeping around/cheating etc (whether it's with a hooker or not it's still risky behavior). How many of us run around telling the person's partner in order to "save" them? Lemme guess. None!

NB. Using the "but this was a friend" argument will not work because if your morals are so high then they should apply to everyone. Not just someone you know personally.

[alf101]

Then what of killa's word to his fiancee? Is the trust between killa and his fiancee subservient to the trust between killa and his friend? That's a recipe for divorce!

killa, you did the right thing. your buddy put you in a position that jeopardised YOUR engagement and YOUR relationship with your fiancee. He broke the trust first.... tell him to go jump in a lake.

And to everyone who thinks it is okay to sleep with whores behind your gf's back and expect your buddies to keep your dirty secrets, at risk to their own relationships, you are not a true friend. What goes around, comes around.

QFT.

[Debbie]

all who feel killa did the right thing by telling his g/f. We are regularly faced with situations where we realise someone we know is having an affair/sleeping around/cheating etc (whether it's with a hooker or not it's still risky behavior). How many of us run around telling the person's partner in order to "save" them? Lemme guess. None!

None? bs. There are plenty of morally intact men around.

Perhaps in your world that sort of behaviour and the prioritisation of male friendships over the vows of marriage/similar partnership is acceptable and expected. We have a word for that, it's called chauvinism.

The only thing killa had to "save" was his own relationship with his fiancee. You're advocating that his friendship with his whoring-around buddy was more important.

[Alan]

What if you agreed to keep quiet about something that was seemingly meaningless at the time but you later found out was related to e.g. a rape? Would you not break your word for anything?

Exactly


So now you are know around town as a person that cant be trusted and he as a guy who cheats on his gf with whores. What a situation..........

Can't be trusted by people who sleep with prostitutes. People know he'll stand up for what's right ie: The innocent person being abused and not his cheating scum 'friend'. I'm sure he can live with that. :)

[bwana]

None? bs. There are plenty of morally intact men around.

Perhaps in your world that sort of behaviour and the prioritisation of male friendships over the vows of marriage/similar partnership is acceptable and expected. We have a word for that, it's called chauvinism.

The only thing killa had to "save" was his own relationship with his fiancee. You're advocating that his friendship with his whoring-around buddy was more important.Hypothetically speaking . . .

Had Killa prefaced his disclosure to his fiancee with a "dont tell <insert whore-mongering friend's g/f name here> and she did would that be an acceptable violation of trust?

[chiskop]

Just one question though. To all who feel killa did the right thing by telling his g/f. We are regularly faced with situations where we realise someone we know is having an affair/sleeping around/cheating etc (whether it's with a hooker or not it's still risky behavior). How many of us run around telling the person's partner in order to "save" them? Lemme guess. None!
Actually, I haven't been in this situation "regularly", but a couple of years ago was in a similar situation to killa's except that one of my friends was cheating on another of my friends. I told her. I lost a friend for a while, but I'm sure it was the right thing to do - and we're friends again now.


NB. Using the "but this was a friend" argument will not work because if your morals are so high then they should apply to everyone. Not just someone you know personally.
If I don't know someone personally, I'm unlikely (nor do I want) to know about their sexual activities. In fact, come to think of it, I not really interested in anyone's sexual activities apart from my own. :D

[Syndyre]

The only thing killa had to "save" was his own relationship with his fiancee. You're advocating that his friendship with his whoring-around buddy was more important.

Exactly.

[ShaunSA]

Debbie I was not specifically refering to men but to everyone. Let me rephrase my question. If you had a male work colleague. And you found out by chance that his wife/gf/partner was fooling around with someone else. Would you tell him? Bear in mind that he is only a colleague and not someone you actually "know" as in a friend/close friend. My bet is that you would mind your own business.

Yes I understand that killa did what he did to "save" his relationship and to be honest it's exactly what I would have done. But let's not make like it's some sort of moral high-ground. He was just covering his @rse and made the choice that let him do that.

[Nick333]

Hypothetically speaking . . .

Had Killa prefaced his disclosure to his fiancee with a "dont tell <insert whore-mongering friend's g/f name here> and she did would that be an acceptable violation of trust?

I'm inclined to say yes to that, but I'm of the school that your partner should know everything that happens in your life (I may be wrong about that).

Problem is that your partner is then faced with the dilema of knowing something that is important to her friends happiness and not being able to tell her.

I think killa's friend was wrong to involve him in his dodgy doings in the first place.

[Ecco]

Then what of killa's word to his fiancee? Is the trust between killa and his fiancee subservient to the trust between killa and his friend? That's a recipe for divorce!


Killa abused the trust between himself and his gf. He told her because he knew she would tell the other chic, he has admitted to this.

[sabagamma]

@ alan85 - your argument is so scatterbrained it is impossible to follow. What is clear though is that you are untrustworthy. Your word is as frivolous as your logic.

@Debbie2 - You're not getting the point, Killa could have kept his word to everyone. All he had to do is be honest with his friend when his friend asked him not to tell anybody. He could have said "NO"! It would have taken courage to be honest with his friend, but Killa chose to go another way.

Priests who do confessions are a good example of people who value their word. The murderer of judge Giovanni Falcone confessed his crime to a priest. The priest never told anyone who the confessor was. This was an issue of national importance in Italy, the mafia had attacked the state - this is not about some petty cheating boyfriend. Imagine the burden this priest has had to bear, but still he honoured his word and the word of the church. Now imagine alan85 was a priest, he would destroy 2000 years in two weeks.

[Nick333]

Killa abused the trust between himself and his gf. He told her because he knew she would tell the other chic, he has admitted to this.

I'm not sure how that qualifies as an abuse of trust.

[killadoob]

look im not taking the moral high ground

i am by no means a moral man and dont profess to be one

was just wondering if i did the right thing or the wrong thing

moral's are one thing, destroying my relationship with someone i think is my soul mate is another thing

also i understand about my word and not having kept it but i think surely there must be a line when honoring your word and by doing what he did he leaped right over that line and put in a very bad position

what kind of friend is he to put in that position is my first thought
my second thought is someone who does this sort of thing should not be mad with me for breaking my word as he is not exactly the glimmer of an honorable man

i would like to think that if my chick was screwing around on me my friends would tell me, i personally dont think this whole its not my business is alot of crap

if you are friends with someone and know their partner is cheating you should tell them

look at the end of the day in terms of friendship and my word i FAIL badly on this

in terms of friendship i think he fails badly by putting me in the position, so at the end of the day i see why he will be mad and agro but i feel he should see why i did what i did and will hopefully learn that no matter how good or close you think a friendship is, there is just some things u dont do in front of your friends

yes i should have been more of man and said no i wont say anything, thats my fault and very stupid of me

i didnt abuse the trust of my g/f, i told knowing she would either tell her friend or not i left it up to her to make the call

an abuse of trust would have been not telling her and she finds out 3 months down the line and thinks that i also did a hooker

[Ecco]

I'm not sure how that qualifies as an abuse of trust.

He used her, he couldnt tell the other chic himself, so he told his chic knowing full out she would spill the beans!

[Nick333]

He used her, he couldnt tell the other chic himself, so he told his chic knowing full out she would spill the beans!

Well I'm sure killa is expected to do his share of the chores.

[Ecco]

Well I'm sure killa is expected to do his share of the chores.

LOL

[Debbie]

Killa abused the trust between himself and his gf. He told her because he knew she would tell the other chic, he has admitted to this.

Yeah, I don't get this either.

If anything, he strengthened the bond of trust between himself and his fiancee.

[ShaunSA]

However we look at this no-one comes out looking pretty :D

@killa. I would have done the same in your shoes so let's hope we can all take a lesson out of your experience and say No to the ho(house) :D

[Alan]

@ alan85 - your argument is so scatterbrained it is impossible to follow. What is clear though is that you are untrustworthy. Your word is as frivolous as your logic.


All I've said is exactly what many people here have. I've shown how foolhardy your 'my word no matter what' mentality can be. You avoid those scenarios because you've got yourself in a pickle. But hey each to their own. Perhaps you took to mush drugs or were even born that way but thank god I don't know you personally.

[Nick333]

@ alan85 - your argument is so scatterbrained it is impossible to follow. What is clear though is that you are untrustworthy. Your word is as frivolous as your logic.

@Debbie2 - You're not getting the point, Killa could have kept his word to everyone. All he had to do is be honest with his friend when his friend asked him not to tell anybody. He could have said "NO"! It would have taken courage to be honest with his friend, but Killa chose to go another way.

Priests who do confessions are a good example of people who value their word. The murderer of judge Giovanni Falcone confessed his crime to a priest. The priest never told anyone who the confessor was. This was an issue of national importance in Italy, the mafia had attacked the state - this is not about some petty cheating boyfriend. Imagine the burden this priest has had to bear, but still he honoured his word and the word of the church. Now imagine alan85 was a priest, he would destroy 2000 years in two weeks.

Since I find myself in uncharacteristic agreement with my fellow alpha-numerics on this I may as well come to their defense.

Your example of the priest is a case of the good of society for the sake of a monsters right to unburden his black little soul. Screw the mafia and catholic tradition they have both done untold damage to humanity.

To extend the analogy to killa's predicament, his ******* friend shouldn't have put him in a moral dilema in the first place. He was behaving imorally so why should killa be held to a higher moral standard?

[alf101]

Since I find myself in uncharacteristic agreement with my fellow alpha-numerics on this I may as well come to their defense.

Your example of the priest is a case of the good of society for the sake of a monsters right to unburden his black little soul. Screw the mafia and catholic tradition they have both done untold damage to humanity.

To extend the analogy to killa's predicament, his ******* friend shouldn't have put him in a moral dilema in the first place. He was behaving imorally so why should killa be held to a higher moral standard?

Think it's time to hear from the fiancee now.

[Syndyre]

@ alan85 - your argument is so scatterbrained it is impossible to follow. What is clear though is that you are untrustworthy. Your word is as frivolous as your logic.

@Debbie2 - You're not getting the point, Killa could have kept his word to everyone. All he had to do is be honest with his friend when his friend asked him not to tell anybody. He could have said "NO"! It would have taken courage to be honest with his friend, but Killa chose to go another way.

Priests who do confessions are a good example of people who value their word. The murderer of judge Giovanni Falcone confessed his crime to a priest. The priest never told anyone who the confessor was. This was an issue of national importance in Italy, the mafia had attacked the state - this is not about some petty cheating boyfriend. Imagine the burden this priest has had to bear, but still he honoured his word and the word of the church. Now imagine alan85 was a priest, he would destroy 2000 years in two weeks.

Yes he should've said no initially but even though he didn't he still followed the best course of action from then on.

[Nick333]

Think it's time to hear from the fiancee now.

OK I give up. What do you mean? :p

[nocilah]

killadoob, you did the right thing. ignore what the other peeps have to say.

[Rocket-Boy]

because i think its wrong and my fincee is like best friends with his g/f

i just think with all these diseases around that doing this is not something that should kept secret

so you guys think i broke a cardinal male rule?

what he does is his business but not when he takes me with him and asks me to keep quite about it

Dude, for what its worth I recon you did the right thing.
Its one thing for you and your mates to go to a strip club, but when someone starts playing hide-the-sausage with a prossie then things are not so cool.
Besides, do you really want mates like that?
I personally wouldnt want to be associated with anyone like that and other people might think you are a bit dodge too if you hang out with them.

[sabagamma]

MyAdsl dropped my previous post - arrrgh!


I've shown how foolhardy your 'my word no matter what' mentality can be.

You have not shown anything of the sort. What universe do you live in? All you have done is create a bunch of make believe scenarios that range from pets to marauding rapists.


You avoid those scenarios because you've got yourself in a pickle.

What pickle? Were you serious when you asked if I would give my word to a marauding rapist? Do I have to answer that? Well I will state the obvious for you, I will tell the rapist, "Hell NO!" and be off to the cops. You probably would tell him that his secret is safe with you and then be off to the cops as well. Difference being that in your own mind you consider yourself a hero for doing the right thing but in fact you were too much of a coward to tell him what your intentions were in the first place.


Perhaps you took to mush drugs or were even born that way but thank god I don't know you personally.

I took drugs, made love to women and hell I still smoke the shisha pipe. Seems like you are bitter about missing out on free love and free drugs - that probably explains your phobia of hippies. Maybe you should have lived some - it might have stopped you from being so damn constipated.

Ditto about not knowing you personally - the old saying, "with friends like these who needs enemies?" describes you quite nicely.

[Pixie22]

Fk this "male rule".. When someones life may be at risk just so someone can have a little "fun". Expose liars for what they are. If you don't you actually aren't doing them any favours in the long run anyway.. In future Id say straight out tho, that I will not lie, and I'll point out the reasons for the guy. He can't argue with the logic behind them. If he wants to sleep with other woman then he should be open about it to anyone who he is in a relationship with. Ask him if he would be understanding if she had sex with a guy and gave him aids. Ask him if you are supposed to lie for her too. Tell him he has put you in an impossible position.

[Pitbull]

ok lets say your good buddies with a guy and havea good group of guy friends

so one night u go out on a jol with a friend who takes you to what you think is a strip club until you realize its actually a whore house asian style

your both wasted on pills he asks you not to say anything u agree, you go with him to buy condoms and what not

now my fiancee is like best friends with his g/f

so i told my fiancee about this and she told his g/f

now this oke is mad with me because i told everyone that he screwed a whore

my thinking is this, if i left it and my fiancee found out 3 months later would she believe i never screwed a whore

what would you guys have done?

i feel bad about saying i would not say anything and then i said something but at the same time i dont think its right to cheat on your g/f with a possibly aids infected whore

anyways his g/f does not believe me and thinks im talking crap because he told her he went for a massage

now my friend has not come to me and said im sorry for putting you in that position, he is just mad because i told my fiancee who told his g/f

do you think i broke some sort of man code? i dont mind lying about going to strips clubs and getting a lap dance and what not but i cannot look at his g/f knowing my buddie (ex buddie) screwed a whore

now its seems alot of my other guy friends are not happy about me saying something

This is why friends don't take friends like you with them, they take friends like me with :D

[Blue]

If you feel so strongly about your friends actions then why didn't you protest against him and try to stop him at the time? If you didn't then who are you to suddenly grow some moral fibre and tell your gf. Your inaction or lack of protest was as good as an approval to your friend to sleep with a hooker and thus you are just as guilty of your friend cheating on his gf as he is.

Also, as a friend worried about whether he might spread STDs to his gf, how about thinking about the risk your friend took by sleeping with a prostitute. Surely if you were his 'friend' you would look out for his health as well?

Lastly, what did you think was going to happen by telling your gf? You knew she would tell her friend, so were you aiming to break up their relationship?

You can blame the pills for your lack of judgement at the time but then you can only blame yourself for taking them in the first place.

[killadoob]

of course i can blame the pills for lack of judgement

your right i can blame myself for taking them but i thought it was a night of clubbing and not a night of screwing hookers

had i known before i double dropped that we would end up at a hooker joint i would have rather stayed at home

ok so anyways in short i know that i was wrong to say nothing and then say something, this is something that wont happen again as none of my other friends would ever even think about taking one another to a hooker joint

one lost friend, maybe a few other angry friends but it will blow over in a few months and i will see where im at

[Pitbull]

of course i can blame the pills for lack of judgement

your right i can blame myself for taking them but i thought it was a night of clubbing and not a night of screwing hookers

had i known before i double dropped that we would end up at a hooker joint i would have rather stayed at home

ok so anyways in short i know that i was wrong to say nothing and then say something, this is something that wont happen again as none of my other friends would ever even think about taking one another to a hooker joint

one lost friend, maybe a few other angry friends but it will blow over in a few months and i will see where im at

Nope, you will still have all your friends.


You just won't be asked to go out with them again ;)
You went against all that is Sacred and Holy, you pimp'd on a friend. That is not on no matter how you try and justify it. You ratted him out. You deserve to be stuck with your GF every weekend from this day onwards :(

[Blue]

Bit harsh thats like the 'Bro Code's' version of a life sentence without parole.:p

[killadoob]

dude i have been out with my friends the last 3 weekends

alot of them understand why i did what i did but are just not happy

if what i did means nobody will ever go to a hooker with me, then great

pitbull i have been through alot of stuff with my friends, teazers some of them wanting other women and i have stepped in told then no no your drunk
they had the same with me so its not like im not trust worthy

they have never had a reason not to trust me apart from now, maybe thats the reason my friend felt he could do this and i would not say anything, even if i agreed to it

yup i did pimp on a friend and man i regret it now

o well life goes on

[Pitbull]

dude i have been out with my friends the last 3 weekends

alot of them understand why i did what i did but are just not happy

if what i did means nobody will ever go to a hooker with me, then great

pitbull i have been through alot of stuff with my friends, teazers some of them wanting other women and i have stepped in told then no no your drunk

they have never had a reason not to trust me apart from now, maybe thats the reason my friend felt he could do this and i would not say anything

yup i did pimp on a friend and man i regret it now

o well life goes on


No worries one needs to make mistakes to learn.

Just remember one thing which is very very true.

Girls come and go, wifes come and go, friends are all you have that will never leave your side. That is so very true and one thing I actually did learn from my dad :o

[Pixie22]

Basically your friend never gave you a choice of being honest AND maintaining your friendship. He gave you an ultimatum. None of my friends have sex with hookers, or cheat on their gf's, and we always make a big deal out of going to strip clubs etc we tell the stories infront of the gf's. Its funny. I really can't relate.

[killadoob]

i wish someone had told me that before my moment of stupidness
yea pit, i have learnt this the hard way


thrown my name away, destroyed a friendship over a hooker

from now on, i dont give a crap, whats makes this even worse is his chick didnt even believe me, which i should have thought might happen

so not only did i throw my name away, im branded a liar and have something against him which i dont plus we will never be friends

so yea if ppl want a lesson in life

stay out of other ppl's business even if your directly involved and keep your word no matter what

[Moederloos]

Basically your friend never gave you a choice of being honest AND maintaining your friendship. He gave you an ultimatum. What a knt

+1

[Debbie]

killadoob you'd be regretting it a forkload more if you hadn't told your fiance.


No worries one needs to make mistakes to learn.

Just remember one thing which is very very true.

Girls come and go, wifes come and go, friends are all you have that will never leave your side. That is so very true and one thing I actually did learn from my dad :o

Are you married Pitbull?

[Nerfherder]

i wish someone had told me that before my moment of stupidness
yea pit, i have learnt this the hard way


thrown my name away, destroyed a friendship over a hooker

from now on, i dont give a crap, whats makes this even worse is his chick didnt even believe me, which i should have thought might happen

so not only did i throw my name away, im branded a liar and have something against him which i dont plus we will never be friends

so yea if ppl want a lesson in life

stay out of other ppl's business even if your directly involved and keep your word no matter what

Personaly I would not have been able to attend their wedding knowing that he had cheated on her with a whore... i wouldn't have been able to live with my self.

You did her a favor because next time she will realise that he is a bastard and you will save her a life of misery.

I think that there are times when you should tell the person and other times when there is no point. I think that when two people are enggaged to be maried you should speak out...

What kind of a **** friend puts you in that situation anyway...

[Moederloos]

Obviously took far to many

:D

http://mybroadband.co.za/vb/showpost.php?p=1768073&postcount=17

:D:D

[Alan]

[QUOTE]What pickle? Were you serious when you asked if I would give my word to a marauding rapist? Do I have to answer that? Well I will state the obvious for you, I will tell the rapist, "Hell NO!" and be off to the cops. You probably would tell him that his secret is safe with you and then be off to the cops as well. Difference being that in your own mind you consider yourself a hero for doing the right thing but in fact you were too much of a coward to tell him what your intentions were in the first place.

Ahem

Of course I wouldn't make the promise in the first place though

http://mybroadband.co.za/vb/showpost.php?p=1770758&postcount=98

You see that's the difference. If for whatever crazy reason I might have said yes I would have realised later on the error of my ways and gone back on my word. You on the other hand would have stubbornly stood by your word no matter the damage it causes.

It's simple ( stay with me here. Leave the line of coke for later :D) Person A promises person B he'll keep quiet while Person B rapes an innocent woman but Person A has an attack of conscience the following day and reports it to the police. I would support him going back on his word. You on the other would condemn him for going back on his word.



I took drugs,

Obviously took far to many ;)

[Gunny]

I don't see the problem you don't go whoring if you have a g/f, cheating is cheating just your friend decided to pay for it. You wouldnt want your g/f to do it to you and if she did you would want someone to tell you so you could decide how to deal with the situation. I hate cheaters. I have seen too many families broken up.

[sabagamma]

Obviously took far to many ;)

You need more laxatives. :D

[Velenoso]

What if you agreed to keep quiet about something that was seemingly meaningless at the time but you later found out was related to e.g. a rape? Would you not break your word for anything?

First of all, it's a different thing entirely. I'll answer it this way, if I was in some way deceived into giving my word (which isn't the case here, and no being coked up/on X does not count) and I later found out that a serious crime had been committed I may consider breaking my word. But most certainly not if it was a friend of mine and DEFINITELY not before I confronted him first to find out what the hell was going on!


This is why friends don't take friends like you with them, they take friends like me with :D

+1! :D

[Pitbull]

killadoob you'd be regretting it a forkload more if you hadn't told your fiance.



Are you married Pitbull?

Yup

But i've been with my current friends since i was about 10 years old. What ever happens when the woman is not arround stays between us, always.... no matter who or what ;)

[Velenoso]

Yup

But i've been with my current friends since i was about 10 years old. What ever happens when the woman is not arround stays between us, always.... no matter who or what ;)

+1! Goddammit man, do I know you?

[Nick333]

Don't listen to the troglodytes killa. Wives may come and go but the chances are you'll be with one of them until death. Unless you put your friends before her in which case you'll end up dying pathetic and alone.

People who have the same friends in middle age that they had at ten have probably still got the same values they had at ten. Which would explain why they think screwing prossies aint no thang.

[Pixie22]

Yup

But i've been with my current friends since i was about 10 years old. What ever happens when the woman is not arround stays between us, always.... no matter who or what ;)

Aslong as the woman do the same I see no problem.

[Alan]

Don't listen to the troglodytes killa. Wives may come and go but the chances are you'll be with one of them until death. Unless you put your friends before her in which case you'll end up dying pathetic and alone.

People who have the same friends in middle age that they had at ten have probably still got the same values they had at ten. Which would explain why they think screwing prossies aint no thang.

Stop sprouting so much sense. You making me uncomfortable :(

[alf101]

Yup

But i've been with my current friends since i was about 10 years old. What ever happens when the woman is not arround stays between us, always.... no matter who or what ;)

I remember your bike thread and a few others...

[Debbie]

Yup

But i've been with my current friends since i was about 10 years old. What ever happens when the woman is not arround stays between us, always.... no matter who or what ;)

Does your wife know that you consider your relationships with your friends to trump your relationship with her? Does she know that you believe in "bro's before ho's"? Does she know that you are of the opinion that wives will "come and go"?

Does she know that you and your friends visit whore houses and adopt a "what happens in Vegas" attitude?

Pitbull would you print out this thread and show it to her? Or is she living in the dark as to the nature of the man she has married?

You have every right to decide how to live your life. But so does your wife. If you are keeping her in the dark about your attitudes and opinions as expressed in this thread, then you are robbing her of the opportunity to make an informed choice about whether or not she wants to be married to you.

Food for thought Pitbull-
1) the truth ALWAYS comes out.
2) what goes around, comes around.

[Pitbull]

Does your wife know that you consider your relationships with your friends to trump your relationship with her? Does she know that you believe in "bro's before ho's"? Does she know that you are of the opinion that wives will "come and go"?

Does she know that you and your friends visit whore houses and adopt a "what happens in Vegas" attitude?

Pitbull would you print out this thread and show it to her? Or is she living in the dark as to the nature of the man she has married?

You have every right to decide how to live your life. But so does your wife. If you are keeping her in the dark about your attitudes and opinions as expressed in this thread, then you are robbing her of the opportunity to make an informed choice about whether or not she wants to be married to you.

Food for thought Pitbull-
1) the truth ALWAYS comes out.
2) what goes around, comes around.

I think that is where you lost the plot.

She knows me, she got me this way and loves me for who and what i am.

When we go an weekends away she doesn't even ask what we did, just how it was. I do the same if she goes for Ladies nights out and so forth. What is good for me is good for her.

I will never try and fish out what she did and where they went. It's up to her what she tells me and what she doesn't. It's called a happy and open relationship. She trusts me fully and I do trust her fully too. If we rock up at a Prossie place she knows I won't knock one, I know she will not do the same.

That is why we are each others best friend ;)

I don't go and tell my friends how I bonk'd my wife in my Father in-laws swimming pool... so why would I tell her what my friends and I did :confused:

[Debbie]

I think that is where you lost the plot.

She knows me, she got me this way and loves me for who and what i am.

When we go an weekends away she doesn't even ask what we did, just how it was. I do the same if she goes for Ladies nights out and so forth. What is good for me is good for her.

I will never try and fish out what she did and where they went. It's up to her what she tells me and what she doesn't. It's called a happy and open relationship. She trusts me fully and I do trust her fully too. If we rock up at a Prossie place she knows I won't knock one, I know she will not do the same.

That is why we are each others best friend ;)

I don't go and tell my friends how I bonk'd my wife in my Father in-laws swimming pool... so why would I tell her what my friends and I did :confused:

From my perspective, either you have a very strange marriage, or you're standing in a very long river named de Nile.

[Of course when you go to whorehouses it's your friends who do the dirty, not you. :rolleyes:]

[Pitbull]

From my perspective, either you have a very strange marriage, or you're standing in a very long river named de Nile.

[Of course when you go to whorehouses it's your friends who do the dirty, not you. :rolleyes:]

Maybe go visit my HIV/Aids thread. I will never bonk anyone except my wife. Even if I do tease alot some times.

We have no trust issues.

Let me give you this example, do you think your husband's friends will tell you if he got drunk and had a nice fling with a girl at a bar ? I highly doubt that ;)

Your friends will also not tell your husband if you did, unless they actually want to ruin your relationship for personal gain.

Other peoples business is their business, it has nothing to do with me.

On that subject, my brother in-law is going to get some nooky on the Rally.... I hate he's wife and not even that will make me tell her or my wife (He's sister) :D

[fivelza]

Food for thought -
1) the truth ALWAYS comes out.
2) what goes around, comes around.

So true :o

[Debbie]

Maybe go visit my HIV/Aids thread. I will never bonk anyone except my wife. Even if I do tease alot some times.

Of course, it's your friends, not you.


We have no trust issues.

Let me give you this example, do you think your husband's friends will tell you if he got drunk and had a nice fling with a girl at a bar ? I highly doubt that ;)

Your friends will also not tell your husband if you did, unless they actually want to ruin your relationship for personal gain.

Other peoples business is their business, it has nothing to do with me.

Excuse me, "a nice fling"?


On that subject, my brother in-law is going to get some nooky on the Rally.... I hate he's wife and not even that will make me tell her or my wife (He's sister) :D

Your revelling in dishonesty, deception and betrayal makes my stomach turn.

You sound like an absolute pig of a man, and I am glad I have never had the misfortune of meeting you.

[Pitbull]

Of course, it's your friends, not you.



Excuse me, "a nice fling"?



Your revelling in dishonesty, deception and betrayal makes my stomach turn.

You sound like an absolute pig of a man, and I am glad I have never had the misfortune of meeting you.

edit:
O shyt, was wanting to say Flirt, not fling :eek: ..... Now I know why your so upset :o


:eek: :o :p

I'll give you a nice smooth on the cheek at the next Conference.
I'm just a man like everyone out there. I will bet a million bucks 99% of all men feel the same I do. That is the reason Killadoob started this thread. He knew he went against the manly code ;)

But No worries, I love you too Debbie ;)

[chiskop]

:eek: :o :p

I'll give you a nice smooth on the cheek at the next Conference.
I'm just a man like everyone out there. I will bet a million bucks 99% of all men feel the same I do. That is the reason Killadoob started this thread. He knew he went against the manly code ;)

But No worries, I love you too Debbie ;)

I'll take that bet. :rolleyes:

Just reading through this thread, there're plenty of men in here that have evolved beyond neanderthal.

[ShaunSA]

I'll take that bet. :rolleyes:

Just reading through this thread, there're plenty of men in here that have evolved beyond neanderthal.

Words are cheap...

[Pitbull]

Words are cheap...

U guys seriously will let a friend of about 18 years crash and burn because you can't keep your trap shut ?

Damn

/adds a few names to my "never go out with" list :(

[chiskop]

So is a thread post offering to bet a million rand that 99% of all men feel the same way you do. :rolleyes:

/really hope I 'm on the "never go out with" list. :D

[Dolby]

Hmmm .... don't have the time to read through what everyone has said, but is the bet that 99% of men would cheat? Or keep quiet if a friend does?

[Pitbull]

Hmmm .... don't have the time to read through what everyone has said, but is the bet that 99% of men would cheat? Or keep quiet if a friend does?

Keep quiet if a friend does

[Dolby]

Wouldn't it depend on how well you know the friend? How well you know his girlfriend? Was it a once in a lifetime lapse or has it happened before? Also depend it was flirting or sleeping with?

I won't have to deal with any of that though : I have a cool friends ;)

[Pitbull]

Wouldn't it depend on how well you know the friend? How well you know his girlfriend? Was it a once in a lifetime lapse or has it happened before? Also depend it was flirting or sleeping with?

I won't have to deal with any of that though : I have a cool friends ;)

That is my point.

I have known my friends longer than my wife or even anyone else but my family. It's like telling on your brother for setting fire to the "veld". It's not on, no matter how much woman want that privilage they will never stand in that place where long time man friends are. We are borthers and I never pimp on my brother so why would I do it on my friends :confused:

[ShaunSA]

U guys seriously will let a friend of about 18 years crash and burn because you can't keep your trap shut ?

Damn

/adds a few names to my "never go out with" list :(

What I mean is that most guys wouldn't rat out although they may claim that they would. Hope this clears it up :D

[Dolby]

What I mean is that most guys wouldn't rat out although they may claim that they would. Hope this clears it up :D

Sounds about right :)

I'd need to check the circumstances though

[Pitbull]

What I mean is that most guys wouldn't rat out although they may claim that they would. Hope this clears it up :D

I can live with that :D

[Pitbull]

I shared a house with a very attractive girl once. She gave the outward impression to every boyfriend that she was theirs and butter wouldn't melt in her 'girl-next-door' mouth. We all saw what she was really about. Just playing each one off until she made up her mind. Shehad three on the boil at the same time, none the wiser for it.

The point we are all missing is that the fiancee may also be up to no good.

Besides, men-women relationships can end very quickly and you lose both friend and spouse. The dynamics are quite fragile and can never be compared to close friendships with members of the same sex.

QFT !

[ShaunSA]

Sounds about right :)

I'd need to check the circumstances though

This is 100% spot on. We can all claim that we would behave in a certain way in a certain situation. The reality is very far off.

In killa's case the only reason he ratted was because it could have cost him his relationship if it came out eventually. If the circumstance were different he would not have.

[Dolby]

I shared a house with a very attractive girl once. She gave the outward impression to every boyfriend that she was theirs and butter wouldn't melt in her 'girl-next-door' mouth. We all saw what she was really about. Just playing each one off until she made up her mind. Shehad three on the boil at the same time, none the wiser for it.

Been in the exact same situation. In fact, just checked your stats to see you aren't the person that was her housemate ;)

In that situation when I was the 'victim', I'd really like to have been told about the other guys actually :( It probably would've saved me some heart ache *sigh* I even ASKED the house mate but he just denied she was seeing others.

[Toffee]

It was a lose lose situation. If you did not tell your fiance and your friend split with his GF and the story came out, your fiance may have suspected you were part of it. I came from the era of "what goes on tour stays on tour". So when we guys went away on weekends or sports tours, I turned a blind eye and just made sure I stayed on the straight and narrow. Not the right moral track but it was what was expected and I would have been given the cold shoulder by all the guys if I told on one. I respect the fact that you did what you did, not sure if I could/would have.

The one thing about society and particularly SA society is the hang up with sex as being the BIG sin. It is way down on my list. Some religions are hung up on the sex issue but if a few people are kileed it's no big deal.

A word of advice, stay away from the pills, even recreationaly, they are not good for you.

[nocilah]

the 'men' on this forum are like juvenile teenage girls. seriously i have never seen such drivel in all my life its like 7de laan on myadsl.

[nocilah]

It always amazes me who gets on their high horses when they can't even ride.

wow how sanctimonious and sexist and you call yourself a man?

[Pitbull]

the 'men' on this forum are like juvenile teenage girls. seriously i have never seen such drivel in all my life its like 7de laan on myadsl.

Will you "rat out" your mate ?

[nocilah]

would(sp) you "rat out" your mate ?

my mates are not pigs

[Pixie22]

That is my point.

I have known my friends longer than my wife or even anyone else but my family. It's like telling on your brother for setting fire to the "veld". It's not on, no matter how much woman want that privilage they will never stand in that place where long time man friends are. We are borthers and I never pimp on my brother so why would I do it on my friends :confused:

He is putting her at risk of aids, and basically anyone who sleeps with her, and him too obviously. Its a comparison of numbers and he loses. Just because you know him, doesn't make him more important in the larger scheme of things. She might cure cancer, but instead she dies because your buddy wanted to bang a prozzi? Homey dont play dat..

[Pitbull]

my mates are not pigs

Who here was talking about farm animals :confused:

Just answer the question

[Pitbull]

He is putting her at risk of aids, and basically anyone who sleeps with her, and him too obviously. Its a comparison of numbers and he loses. Just because you know him, doesn't make him more important in the larger scheme of things. She might cure cancer, but instead she dies because your buddy wanted to bang a prozzi? Homey dont play dat..

Wow, Pixie you actually swayed me on this specific scenario. The OP didn't "rat out" he's mate on that reason though. He did it cos he felt they will be caught out. There is a difference.

But I fully agree with the Prossie thing ;)

If a mate has a nice warm and cozy kissing excapade with a woman at a night club as an example, do you still think it's my duty to rat him out ?

[Dolby]

He is putting her at risk of aids, and basically anyone who sleeps with her

She shouldn't sleep around :/ Unless she's single.

[nocilah]

Just answer the question

if you are looking to somehow justify your lack of character and self worth you are barking up the wrong tree.

as i said before the 'men' in this thread are pathetic - so please do not attempt to drag me in your inanely pathetic concept of what a "man friendship" is all about because we are on entirely two different worlds.

its a class thing, something one can not understand if they do not have it.

[Pitbull]

if you are looking to somehow justify your lack of character and self worth you are barking up the wrong tree.

as i said before the 'men' in this thread are pathetic - so please do not attempt to drag me in your inanely pathetic concept of what a "man friendship" is all about because we are on entirely two different worlds.

its a class thing, something one can not understand if they do not have it.

Then fk off out of the thread and go be a pansy some where else.

You're just trolling here if you have nothing worth while to say

[chiskop]

Then fk off out of the thread and go be a pansy some where else.

You're just trolling here if you have nothing worth while to say

So, if he disagrees with you, he's trolling?

[Pitbull]

So, if he disagrees with you, he's trolling?

Nope not at all,

He's adding comments and avoids the questions in relation to the topic.

[Pixie22]

Wow, Pixie you actually swayed me on this specific scenario. The OP didn't "rat out" he's mate on that reason though. He did it cos he felt they will be caught out. There is a difference.

But I fully agree with the Prossie thing ;)

If a mate has a nice warm and cozy kissing excapade with a woman at a night club as an example, do you still think it's my duty to rat him out ?

In every situation Id talk to him first to get some perspective, and probably suggest that he talk about it with his gf/wife. Its an ugly solution, but its the best. I'd tell him he's putting me in a very difficult position, and ask him why he did it, and whether he wants to be the kind of person that deceives (If thats whats happening). You are right about friends that we have grown up with. There is a bond. And I believe that my friends take my words more seriously than some random sex or kissing session lol

[Pixie22]

She shouldn't sleep around :/ Unless she's single.

lololol

[Pitbull]

In every situation Id talk to him first to get some perspective, and probably suggest that he talk about it with his gf/wife. Its an ugly solution, but its the best. I'd tell him he's putting me in a very difficult position, and ask him why he did it, and whether he wants to be the kind of person that deceives (If thats whats happening). You are right about friends that we have grown up with. There is a bond. And I believe that my friends take my words more seriously than some random sex lol

You sound like a very respectfull person ;)

I think it's more to how the group of friends are. I mean I can tell them what ever I like, no way in hell they will listen to me..... and like wise :D

When we where younger we will walk past a group of flats, even before someone could say or do anything you would see someone take a stone and chuck it at a window. Then u run like hell.

If one of us was caught we knew not to worry as he'll take it on himself and will never give anyone away. We have been in some nasty trouble a couple of times. Thing is, if you're caught it's your baby and yours alone. We where never there :)

[nocilah]

Then fk off out of the thread and go be a pansy some where else.

You're just trolling here if you have nothing worth while to say


perhaps you like to slap your 'man' friends on the but after a game of touch rugby and have clandestine conversations about their conquests with women they have paid for and think this is cool because in your small and pitiful existence you see this as being a 'man'.

because i yanked your chain and p1ssed on your parade you have to be all 'man' like and tell me fsck off.

real classy.

ps. i answered your question the first time in case you missed that.

[Pitbull]

perhaps you like to slap your 'man' friends on the but after a game of touch rugby and have clandestine conversations about their conquests with women they have paid for and think this is cool because in your small and pitiful existence you see this as being a 'man'.

because i yanked your chain and p1ssed on your parade you have to be all 'man' like and tell me fsck off.

real classy.

ps. i answered your question the first time in case you missed that.

We even wash each others backs :rolleyes:

Go play house mate, this is not a discussion your eyes should see

[nocilah]

We even wash each others backs :rolleyes:

Go play house mate, this is not a discussion your eyes should see

because you have no class and i point this out you get angry like a REAL MAN, and now you are implying i am juvenile with your very own juvenile comment.

classy. real classy.

I think you have proved my point in your lack of class, but please feel free to carry on with your highly valuable comments on being a MAN.

[Pitbull]

because you have no class and i point this out you get angry like a REAL MAN, and now you are implying i am juvenile with your very own juvenile comment.

classy. real classy.

I think you have proved my point in your lack of class, but please feel free to carry on with your highly valuable comments on being a MAN.

U don't know me, but one day maybe we'll meet somewhere and who knows. You might think differently.

Class I have, might not be according to your standards but I'm not here to befriend you or marry you. So it's irrelevant :D

Man I am, just ask the nice ladies, and the people who know me personally :D

Learn to live, your life sounds rather gloomy and dull :sick:

[nocilah]

Class I have.

right. :rolleyes:

that has to be quote of the day. after your rants to even say that.

classy. real classy.

[sabagamma]

In every situation Id talk to him first to get some perspective, and probably suggest that he talk about it with his gf/wife. Its an ugly solution, but its the best. I'd tell him he's putting me in a very difficult position, and ask him why he did it, and whether he wants to be the kind of person that deceives (If thats whats happening). You are right about friends that we have grown up with. There is a bond. And I believe that my friends take my words more seriously than some random sex or kissing session lol

I agree with you, good thinking.

[Nick333]

Here's a question for Pitbull: Since you value your male friends above your wife, what would you do if one of your buddies slept with another buddies wife and told you about it? What does the hunter/warrior code have to say about that?

[alf101]

Here's a question for Pitbull: Since you value your male friends above your wife, what would you do if one of your buddies slept with another buddies wife and told you about it? What does the hunter/warrior code have to say about that?

Or your own wife, and all your friends knew about it.
Would u want them to tell?

[Pitbull]

Here's a question for Pitbull: Since you value your male friends above your wife, what would you do if one of your buddies slept with another buddies wife and told you about it? What does the hunter/warrior code have to say about that?


Or your own wife, and all your friends knew about it.
Would u want them to tell?

I would prefer not to know.

I will not rat on him. Like mentioned before what comes around goes around.
If my wife feels she needs to be with one of my friends instead of me, that is her choice to make. If I find out, then it's clear she made her choice and i'll move on.... That's life aint it ?

She would prob be happy and he'll still be my friend. Like I said.... Brothers

[Nick333]

Or your own wife, and all your friends knew about it.
Would u want them to tell?

Yeah thats actually a better question.

[Nick333]

I would prefer not to know.

I will not rat on him. Like mentioned before what comes around goes around.
If my wife feels she needs to be with one of my friends instead of me, that is her choice to make. If I find out, then it's clear she made her choice and i'll move on.... That's life aint it ?

Riiiiight. :rolleyes:

The question is really to gauge what you would do in a scenario where a friend betrays another friends loyalty.

[alf101]

I would prefer not to know.

I will not rat on him. Like mentioned before what comes around goes around.
If my wife feels she needs to be with one of my friends instead of me, that is her choice to make. If I find out, then it's clear she made her choice and i'll move on.... That's life aint it ?

She would prob be happy and he'll still be my friend. Like I said.... Brothers


Ok, you're more mature than me then.
I reckon I'd be a tad upset.

[Pitbull]

Riiiiight. :rolleyes:

The question is really to gauge what you would do in a scenario where a friend betrays another friends loyalty.

What do you guys want me to say ?

What i said is the truth, my wife make me very happy and I hope I'm making her happy too. If she's not happy she will find another person. Might as well be someone I know.

For something like that to happen both needs to agree to what is happening, it's not just he's fault or her fault. You guys are saying I must kick the friend out and keep the wife ? :confused:

[Pitbull]

Ok, you're more mature than me then.
I reckon I'd be a tad upset.

No ofc, i will be Pissed.

But in the end, that was her choice to make. Nothing I do in this world can change that. I will prob be heart broken. But the reason she would have don it is because she was not happy. So it's my fault end of story. And she would prob be happier in her choice she made

[alf101]

What do you guys want me to say ?

What i said is the truth, my wife make me very happy and I hope I'm making her happy too. If she's not happy she will find another person. Might as well be someone I know.

For something like that to happen both needs to agree to what is happening, it's not just he's fault or her fault. You guys are saying I must kick the friend out and keep the wife ? :confused:

I guess it depends on the situation...
You'll only know when it happens.

[Fiekus]

I personally feel each one to his own business. If what he did put you off moraly then hey chat to him and tell him he put you in a difficult situation.
If you are really against what he did then you don't need his friendship.

But... (you knew it was coming hey) :D
I would decide whether his friendship is worth losing over this and if you are comfortable being somewhat responsible for breaking up his relationship if it came to that. I know he did the act, but hey you opened your mouth because you said you wanted it to come out. One of my married friends is screwing around and I am good friends with him and his wife. They have two kids and he openly tells me of his escapades. Now, I feel really ***** for his wife and kids and wish I could tell them, but how is that going to make me happy when they split up? Yes he will be to blame because he did it but get my point? I have kept quiet now for a few years and the kids are happy and they also seem happy. He just likes it on the side and believe me I don't condone it and have told him so already but as a friend, that's all I feel comfortable doing.

So it's all personal I believe, no one can tell you what to do. I just happen to like his friendship and what he does in his personal life, why should I intervene to the extend that I could break them up?

I know I'm going to get flamed for this :D

[Nick333]

What do you guys want me to say ?

What i said is the truth, my wife make me very happy and I hope I'm making her happy too. If she's not happy she will find another person. Might as well be someone I know.

For something like that to happen both needs to agree to what is happening, it's not just he's fault or her fault. You guys are saying I must kick the friend out and keep the wife ? :confused:

Its not about who you kick out its about how you would react to a betrayal from a friend.

Clearly you see a friend telling your wife about your infedelity as a betrayal but its cool if he sleeps with your wife. I can't really argue with you there because I have no frame of reference for your rather eclectic value system.

Or you could just be full of ****.

[Keeper]

i didnt read the whole thread but i'm kinda with pitbull on this one...busting ur buddy, is not good... the guy code DOES exist.

[alf101]

Its not about who you kick out its about how you would react to a betrayal from a friend.

Clearly you see a friend telling your wife about your infedelity as a betrayal but its cool if he sleeps with your wife. I can't really argue with you there because I have no frame of reference for your rather eclectic value system.

Or you could just be full of ****.

Hey dude, don't get the thread closed, I like it.

[sabagamma]

i didnt read the whole thread but i'm kinda with pitbull on this one...busting ur buddy, is not good... the guy code DOES exist.

Debbie2 is going to kick your @ss! :D

[Pitbull]

I personally feel each one to his own business. If what he did put you off moraly then hey chat to him and tell him he put you in a difficult situation.
If you are really against what he did then you don't need his friendship.

But... (you knew it was coming hey) :D
I would decide whether his friendship is worth losing over this and if you are comfortable being somewhat responsible for breaking up his relationship if it came to that. I know he did the act, but hey you opened your mouth because you said you wanted it to come out. One of my married friends is screwing around and I am good friends with him and his wife. They have two kids and he openly tells me of his escapades. Now, I feel really ***** for his wife and kids and wish I could tell them, but how is that going to make me happy when they split up? Yes he will be to blame because he did it but get my point? I have kept quiet now for a few years and the kids are happy and they also seem happy. He just likes it on the side and believe me I don't condone it and have told him so already but as a friend, that's all I feel comfortable doing.

So it's all personal I believe, no one can tell you what to do. I just happen to like his friendship and what he does in his personal life, why should I intervene to the extend that I could break them up?

I know I'm going to get flamed for this :D

NOW THAT IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT !!!!

He has just put my feelings down perfectly.
It's not about me condoning it, it's not my place to be migling in their business. If he get's cuaght so be it. If not, he's wife is not to smart or he's just super carefull. There is no way a man can hide it when he cheats, nor can a woman. ;)

If they are to stupid to catch their own partner messing around, that is their business ;)

[Keeper]

Everybody knows that BFF ranks higher than any other merit. watch south park (where cartman had the other half of kenny's BFF neclace, to pull the plug on him)

LOL...

[Fiekus]

i didnt read the whole thread but i'm kinda with pitbull on this one...busting ur buddy, is not good... the guy code DOES exist.

Or as they say in "How I met your mother"... the bro code :D

[Keeper]

i have split a guy cheating (to my Ex, when we broke up - suppose it was probably so i don't look too bad with breaking up with her)

i almost got donnered.

I learned my lesson....haha

[Nick333]

Hey dude, don't get the thread closed, I like it.

I'm just putting it out there as a possibillity.

[Nick333]

i have split a guy cheating (to my Ex, when we broke up - suppose it was probably so i don't look too bad with breaking up with her)

i almost got donnered.

I learned my lesson....haha

Ja, getting donnered is often a persuasive argument for adjusting your value system.

[alf101]

I'm just putting it out there as a possibillity.

lol. Just a tact thing then. That's ok.

[Nocturnity]

I see all the points people have raised here and everyone makes sense. From that example, I can understand why pitbull feels the way he does. If one of the people in the relationship decides to cheat, it is because they are not happy. I don't condone the cheating aspect as I believe they should have the decency to at least break up with the person before they move on but I think it's rather naive to firmly believe that the person you're with will always only look at you. People who believe that are generally the people who get cheated on because they grow complacent and their partner becomes bored/unfulfilled.

Having said that, the original question is a lot more complicated than the examples used later on in this thread. From that perspective I honestly don't know what I would have done. I probably would have done the same...

As for you, halicon, you lump everyone who's posted in this thread together and call us all "juvenile teenage girls"? You forget that you yourself have posted in the thread. See where generalizing gets you? That's the kind of thought patterns that lead to bigotry and hatred.

[nocilah]

I see all the points people have raised here and everyone makes sense. From that example, I can understand why pitbull feels the way he does. If one of the people in the relationship decides to cheat, it is because they are not happy. I don't condone the cheating aspect as I believe they should have the decency to at least break up with the person before they move on but I think it's rather naive to firmly believe that the person you're with will always only look at you. People who believe that are generally the people who get cheated on because they grow complacent and their partner becomes bored/unfulfilled.

Having said that, the original question is a lot more complicated than the examples used later on in this thread. From that perspective I honestly don't know what I would have done. I probably would have done the same...

As for you, halicon, you lump everyone who's posted in this thread together and call us all "juvenile teenage girls"? You forget that you yourself have posted in the thread. See where generalizing gets you? That's the kind of thought patterns that lead to bigotry and hatred.

the only thing that amazes me about this thread is how many low class people have access to the net.

and yes you can quote that in your sig if it makes you feel like a MAN

[sabagamma]

the only thing that amazes me about this thread is how many low class people have access to the net.

and yes you can quote that in your sig if it makes you feel like a MAN

What's up with all the class jibes? You British?

As they say in calcio, "form is temporary, class is permanent" - I know it makes no sense WRT this thread. :)

[killadoob]

look i dont think anyone who has posted here is low class or anything

we all have our different views, which is why i posted and asked

as someone said i think my situation is little bit more harsh than busting my buddie for cheating on his chick

there is cheating and there is a cheating with someone who gets hammered by 10-15 men a day

thats the difference

i can see where i have made a mistake no doubt though

live and learn i guess

[alf101]

look i dont think anyone who has posted here is low class or anything

we all have our different views, which is why i posted and asked

as someone said i think my situation is little bit more harsh than busting my buddie for cheating on his chick

there is cheating and there is a cheating with someone who gets hammered by 10-15 men a day

thats the difference

i can see where i have made a mistake no doubt though

live and learn i guess

Reckon we all learnt a few things from this thread, so u did some good.:)

[nocilah]

What's up with all the class jibes? You British?

As they say in calcio, "form is temporary, class is permanent" - I know it makes no sense WRT this thread. :)

there two kinds of class.

the kind where you have upper and lower class which is based on income.

then there is class in terms of elegance and character. eg. that man has class or more on topic, killadoob's mate has no class.

but it is futile trying to explain this as generally white south african men tend to think class is the car you drive, because in general south african men are socially, emotionally and mentally immature as has been proven in this thread.

and ofcourse i will get flamed, told to fsck off or be called a bigot - but i am used to that by now.

it really is inconsequential considering on this forum we are what we want others to see, i just cant understand why anyone would flaunt their severely primitive and sadly sick value system.

and a side note to killadoob. i dont think you made a mistake, I just think you have more class then your friend and i think you value your relationship with your partner more then your friend which is fine.

[nocilah]

Its not about who you kick out its about how you would react to a betrayal from a friend.

Clearly you see a friend telling your wife about your infedelity as a betrayal but its cool if he sleeps with your wife. I can't really argue with you there because I have no frame of reference for your rather eclectic value system.

Or you could just be full of ****.

i think this is pretty much how i feel about comments made by pitbull.

[Syndyre]

and a side note to killadoob. i dont think you made a mistake, I just think you have more class then your friend and i think you value your relationship with your partner more then your friend which is fine.

QFT.

[Nocturnity]

there two kinds of class.

the kind where you have upper and lower class which is based on income.

then there is class in terms of elegance and character. eg. that man has class or more on topic, killadoob's mate has no class.

but it is futile trying to explain this as generally white south african men tend to think class is the car you drive, because in general south african men are socially, emotionally and mentally immature as has been proven in this thread.

and ofcourse i will get flamed, told to fsck off or be called a bigot - but i am used to that by now.

it really is inconsequential considering on this forum we are what we want others to see, i just cant understand why anyone would flaunt their severely primitive and sadly sick value system.

and a side note to killadoob. i dont think you made a mistake, I just think you have more class then your friend and i think you value your relationship with your partner more then your friend which is fine.

If you read what I wrote, I actually agreed with you about the course of action the OP took. What I had a problem with is the way you attack people and immediately claim the moral high ground and dismiss others as "low class" individuals. Some people have difficulty articulating themselves and sometimes comments are misconstrued. I'm sorry to say it but you're clearly the aggressor in this case, riding in with your shiny armor on your white steed, calling every male who posted a "juvenile teenage girl" and insinuating that all white males are neanderthals.

Anyway, I think I've said enough in this thread so I'll withdraw from it now.

killadoob, I agree with what you said and I think you did the right thing, for what it's worth.

Pitbull, I see what you're saying and I agree with a lot of what you say as well. In this specific case, however, there wasn't an option. I wouldn't allow a friend to sleep with an aids infested prossie in the first place but if he did and he didn't tell his girl on his own, I'd feel obliged to do so. Think about it this way, he could have saved a life!

[Pitbull]

If you read what I wrote, I actually agreed with you about the course of action the OP took. What I had a problem with is the way you attack people and immediately claim the moral high ground and dismiss others as "low class" individuals. Some people have difficulty articulating themselves and sometimes comments are misconstrued. I'm sorry to say it but you're clearly the aggressor in this case, riding in with your shiny armor on your white steed, calling every male who posted a "juvenile teenage girl" and insinuating that all white males are neanderthals.

Anyway, I think I've said enough in this thread so I'll withdraw from it now.

killadoob, I agree with what you said and I think you did the right thing, for what it's worth.

Pitbull, I see what you're saying and I agree with a lot of what you say as well. In this specific case, however, there wasn't an option. I wouldn't allow a friend to sleep with an aids infested prossie in the first place but if he did and he didn't tell his girl on his own, I'd feel obliged to do so. Think about it this way, he could have saved a life!

And i agree fully to that, i never even thought about the HIV part, this I highlighted to Pixie that if that thought crossed my mind at that time, I would have prob done the same that Killadoob did. That being said. My ref. was into general things men do. If he smoothes a chick in a night club who am I to rat him out. If we where in a massive fight and one of us gets locked up. I will not rat on the others and take it on myself. That is what I'm referring to.

In the OP I would prob. not have been able to rat him out cos I was there also. My wife will have a biatch fit if I was in a place like that. No way I will say we where there and X bonked a chick. That is more about saving my own skin than anything else :D

But I feel ratting out a mate is a big no-no. It's not my place to mingle in their business. That i think is my closing argument :p

[Nerfherder]

In the OP I would prob. not have been able to rat him out cos I was there also. My wife will have a biatch fit if I was in a place like that. No way I will say we where there and X bonked a chick. That is more about saving my own skin than anything else
Ya.. I thought about that as well. What did your chick have to say about the brothel ?

BTW.. what did YOU do there ??

[nocilah]

What I had a problem with is the way you attack people and immediately claim the moral high ground and dismiss others as "low class" individuals. Some people have difficulty articulating themselves and sometimes comments are misconstrued. I'm sorry to say it but you're clearly the aggressor in this case, riding in with your shiny armor on your white steed, calling every male who posted a "juvenile teenage girl" and insinuating that all white males are neanderthals.

wtf - all the myadsl men come on to this thread saying that killadoob shouldnt have ratted his friend out, but its okay for men to shag whores behind their backs, even their wives??????

I come on saying the men on this thread have no class and i am the baddie.

is it because the class issue rings true?

the majority of the 'men' on this thread have NO CLASS and in that i have every right to come onto this thread and say that as you do your opinion, except i don't get all trivial and quote posts in my signature and tell people to fsck off.

that i guess is reserved for the low class fools who seem to be many crawling out from the woodwork.

and then the best is i am the aggressor - my god you 'men' are pathetic.

[nocilah]

Halicon will tell you.:D

I said you were sanctimonious and sexist and that somehow translates into a girl code?

my god you are naive.

[Pitbull]

wtf - all the myadsl men come on to this thread saying that killadoob shouldnt have ratted his friend out, but its okay for men to shag whores behind their backs, even their wives??????

I come on saying the men on this thread have no class and i am the baddie.

is it because the class issue rings true?

the majority of the 'men' on this thread have NO CLASS and in that i have every right to come onto this thread and say that as you do your opinion, except i don't get all trivial and quote posts in my signature and tell people to fsck off.

that i guess is reserved for the low class fools who seem to be many crawling out from the woodwork.

and then the best is i am the aggressor - my god you 'men' are pathetic.

What wrong with the quote ?

Reminds me to be humble and what fools there are out there. Your lvl of class by your own standards just sounds dull. You have a wife ?

[nocilah]

What's(sp) wrong with the quote ?

nothing, merely the actions, but i shouldn't expect more from you. I would be a fool for thinking you will ever amount to more then what you currently are.

[Pitbull]

nothing, merely the actions, but i shouldn't expect more from you. I would be a fool for thinking you will ever amount to more then what you currently are.

Yea, true.

I earn a BIG salary, I have a beautifull wife who loves me, 2 beautifull kids who loves me dearly and I have 100's of friends.

I don't need your approval to enjoy my life that I live :D. I'm having fun with living once, so does my wife and my children.

I think you FAIL in all the above tbh ;)

[chiskop]

What's your salary got to do with anything? :confused:

[nocilah]

I think you FAIL in all the above tbh ;)

you would be severely surprised ;)

[Pitbull]

What's your salary got to do with anything? :confused:

He mentioned something about what salary one earns and so forth.... little further back. I know it's irrelevant.... But my life is a success and I'm enjoying it. I don't need halicon's approval on anything. He lives he's life and I live myne.

He has a dull and borring life, I'm sitting back and enjoying the ride :D

[nocilah]

What's your salary got to do with anything? :confused:

i dunno, but i am surprised he did not bring his penis size into the equation too, mind you the ego thing did come in.

it appears his friends and family have no class too.

[Dolby]

Close the thread ! Quick! Before another poster comes on here!

[Pitbull]

Close the thread ! Quick! Before another poster comes on here!

But I'm having fun with this, the poor dude/chic has issues, best he get's it off he's chest. ;)

[ShaunSA]

Close the thread ! Quick! Before another poster comes on here!

+1

[Nick333]

:eek:

/falls over dead

We should be so lucky. :D

Now everyone shake hands and ignore each other.

[alf101]

I just rated the thread 5 stars.
There's no XXX rating in the drop down menu

[nocilah]

:eek:

/falls over dead

what i mean by that is i cannot tell you how to live your life, as who am i to do that and in the same vain you cannot tell me how to live my life.

we will never sway in our opinions so we can digress into silly bantering or leave it as is. and no i don't want to see your penis now stop asking me. :D

[Pitbull]

what i mean by that is i cannot tell you how to live your life, as who am i to do that and in the same vain you cannot tell me how to live my life.

we will never sway in our opinions so we can digress into silly bantering or leave it as is.

I respect that.

Thanks for the discussion it was rather fun :)

No hard feeling mate /shakes hands ;)

[Kule]

Read half the thread.

You shouldnt have told your girlfriend. What type of friend are you? I agree, your mate was in the wrong. Let him hit his head eventually. Distance yourself from him.

But to run and go tell your girlfriend who you know is going to tell his girlfriend is wack! How are any of the friends that he knows suppose to trust you now?

[nocilah]

I respect that.

Thanks for the discussion it was rather fun :)

No hard feeling mate /shakes hands ;)

;) thanks

[Nocturnity]

wtf - all the myadsl men come on to this thread saying that killadoob shouldnt have ratted his friend out, but its okay for men to shag whores behind their backs, even their wives??????

I come on saying the men on this thread have no class and i am the baddie.


Excuse me? That's exactly my point! You say "all the myadsl men". Did you even bother to read all the responses?

Anyway, I will not allow myself to degenerate into a name-caller so I'll bow out. Believe what you will and be happy in your ignorance.

[Dolby]

Quick Quick! Lock! Close!

[nocilah]

Excuse me? That's exactly my point! You say "all the myadsl men". Did you even bother to read all the responses?

Anyway, I will not allow myself to degenerate into a name-caller so I'll bow out. Believe what you will and be happy in your ignorance.

yeah i generalized. shoot me.

[Nocturnity]

*shoots halicon* :D

Don't worry, I can also be a dick. No hard feelings... ;)

[killadoob]

[QUOTE=Kule;1779579]Read half the thread.

You shouldnt have told your girlfriend. What type of friend are you? I agree, your mate was in the wrong. Let him hit his head eventually. Distance yourself from him.


yup learnt that now

not much point harping on it anymore, whats done is done and i have learnt a lesson