What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

[11akhtard]

hey guys
just asking whether anyone knows the answer to this question. it came up in one of those random quizzes.

Hey and if you could also answer this question.

Does a jealous lemon have sour grapes?

if you could help me i would really appreciate it thanks.

[DJ...]

Buy a new pair of underpants and check your jeans...

[HavocXphere]

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I'd assume you'd be 1/4 as alive as when you started. 0.5x0.5=0.25

Whats up with the arb questions though?:confused:

[Lino]

hey guys
just asking whether anyone knows the answer to this question. it came up in one of those random quizzes.

Hey and if you could also answer this question.

Does a jealous lemon have sour grapes?

if you could help me i would really appreciate it thanks.

No, sour grapes have jealous lemons

[11akhtard]

haha good one. i'm actually not quite sure about the lemon one myself sorry

[DJ...]

Whats up with the arb questions though?:confused:

May have something to do with the wantitall comp and contributing. I now understand why some members chose not to contribute :D

Just joking...:p

[waynegohl]

if you get scared half to death twice wont that make you fully dead?

[Lino]

if you get scared half to death twice wont that make you fully dead?

I know people who are like that:D

[waynegohl]

I know people who are like that:D

aahhh! so they zombies?

[Lino]

aahhh! so they zombies?

Na they work for Telkom:D

[Ou grote]

if you get scared half to death twice wont that make you fully dead?

At the same time yes.

If not.
U still have a quarter left, the 3rd time u have an eighth, etc.

[Thestealth]

What happens if you wake up dead?

[11akhtard]

oh ya and i have got some more:

Is it possible to be allergic to water?
and
If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

[Ou grote]

oh ya and i have got some more:

Is it possible to be allergic to water?
and
If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

Now you're turning this into a Steven Wright thread.

[Lino]

What happens if you wake up dead?

Well ummm how on earth do you wake up dead?

[Thestealth]

What if the quakes happened on Alpha Centuri?

[Thestealth]

Well ummm how on earth do you wake up dead?

You won't understand until it happens to you ;)

[11akhtard]

Who is Steven Wright?

[Lino]

You won't understand until it happens to you ;)

Oi don't turn this into a

"Hi mine won't wake up"

:eek::D

[wcoetzee]

if you get scared half to death twice wont that make you fully dead?

yea but, twice means times two ( x2 )
once and again means 1+1

[11akhtard]

mabey by eating to much rootbeer ice cream

[Ou grote]

Ok, I'll turn it into a Steven Wright thread, haven't derailed any today..



--- big picture ---

* A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, "Wish you were here."
* I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...
* It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
* Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

--- appliances ---

* For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
* Ever notice how irons have a setting for *permanent* press? I don't get it...
* I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.
* I invented the cordless extension cord.

--- apartments ---

* My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
* I installed a skylight in my apartment.... The people who live above me are furious!
* All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats. The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store... with a pricing gun... She said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store."
* While I was gone, somebody rearranged on the furniture in my bedroom. They put it in *exactly* the same place it was. When I told my roommate, he said: "Do I know you?"

--- houses ---

* In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut it out."
* Doing a little work around the house. I put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall, just so I'd be the only one who knew. People come over and I'm gonna say, "Go ahead, touch it... it feels real."
* In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs.
* One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.
* All the plants in my house are dead -- I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes.
* I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes.
* Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity... If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick.
* I bought a house, on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there.
* I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.
* My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.
* The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys. I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while. I was speeding, and a cop pulled me over. He asked where I lived. I said, "right here, officer". Later, I parked it on the freeway, got out, and yelled at all the cars, "Get out of my driveway!"
* My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH.

--- cars and driving ---

* For a while I didn't have a car... I had a helicopter... no place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running... (slow glance upward)
* I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
* I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.
* I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.
* I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds *amazing*.
* I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
* I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
* My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.
* I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
* I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out."
* Last year we drove across the country. We switched on the driving... every half mile... We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.
* I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired.
* A cop stopped me for speeding. He said, "Why were you going so fast?" I said, "See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator. When you push down on it, it sends more gas to the engine. The whole car just takes right off. And see this thing? This steers it."
* I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said, "Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?" "Yes, officer, but I wasn't going to be out that long..."
* One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read."
* I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly)... and says, "Here, you can go."
* The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?"
* When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.
* Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing.
--- childhood ---

* When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice.
* When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
* When I was five years old I was on a merry go round. There was a gunshot nearby. The horses stampeded. There I was running down the street on a purple wooden horse.
* When I was eight, I played Little League. I was on first; I stole third; I went straight across. Earlier that week, I learned that the shortest distance between two points was a direct line. I took advantage of that knowledge.
* I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up. I couldn't find tractors small enough to fit it.
* My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birthmark until he was eight years old.
* My school colors were clear. We used to say, "I'm not naked, I'm in the band."
* When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.
* Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say, "What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!"
* My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

--- suicide ---

* I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building... I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turned to the other and said, "See, that's how it's done."
* I was going to commit suicide the other day, but I must not have been serious because I brought a beach towel.

--- books ---

* I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
* What's another word for Thesaurus?
* Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
* My grandfather invented Cliff's Notes. It all started back in 1912... Well, to make a long story short ...
* I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
* I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
* I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.

--- miscellaneous one-liners ---

* After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
* Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
* I broke my arm trying to fold a bed. It wasn't the kind that folds.
* I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
* I like to skate on the other side of the ice.
* I lost a button hole today.
* I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.
* I saw a man with a wooden leg, and a real foot.
* I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
* I saw a tree fall in the woods, and I didn't hear it.
* I took a baby shower.
* I used to be a bartender at the Betty Ford Clinic.
* I was skydiving horizontally.
* I washed mud, off of mud.
* I'm so hyper... (said with a very dull voice)
* If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
* If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
* My VCR flashes 01:35, 01:35, 01:35, ...
* "So, do you live around here often?"
* Women... can't live with 'em... can't shoot 'em.
* You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

[waynegohl]

yea but, twice means times two ( x2 )
once and again means 1+1

but two halfs make a whole according to the guy i cheated off at school.

[Thestealth]

but two halfs make a whole according to the guy i cheated off at school.

Agreed. That clever Steven whathisname derail is too long.
And too clever.

[11akhtard]

here add these to the list too

Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.

How come only your fingers and toes get prune in the shower and nothing else does?

In the song "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini," which is yellow-the bikini or the polka dots?

Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck?

Whats a question with no answer called?

When the stock market closes at the end of the day, why does everyone stand around smiling and clapping regardless of whether the stocks are up or down?

When a store has double doors why do they only let you use one of them?

If there was a crumb on the table and you cut it in half, would you have two crumbs or two halves of a crumb?

When you drive by a dead skunk in the road, why does it take about 10 seconds before you smell it? Assume that you did not actually drive over the skunk.

Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?

Why doesn't baking soda freeze?

[waynegohl]

Agreed. That clever Steven whathisname derail is too long.
And too clever.

yeah, curse on all clever people.

[Thestealth]

yeah, curse on all clever people.

Can't curse my own kind, sorry :D

[11akhtard]

Can you cry under water

[wcoetzee]

but two halfs make a whole according to the guy i cheated off at school.

half x half is a quarter
half + half is 1
its in the semantics of the sentence

[waynegohl]

Can't curse my own kind, sorry :D

do some selective cursing then even curse under your breath, they wont know. ;)

[waynegohl]

half x half is a quarter
half + half is 1
its in the semantics of the sentence

ok i failed maths at school even did terminal maths and cheated thats how bad i was.

[11akhtard]

if there are any more clever guys out there or in here please say hello and tell me some of oyur unsolved questions som i can give it to a scientist

[Lino]

if there are any more clever guys out there or in here please say hello and tell me some of oyur unsolved questions som i can give it to a scientist

Which came first? Chicken or the Egg?

[11akhtard]

the rooster/ he was gay

[waynegohl]

wait heres one. if someone thats naked bent over would you see a hairlined crack.

[wcoetzee]

Which came first? Chicken or the Egg?

without the chicken you will not get an egg
you need a hen to mate with the chicken first

[gregmcc]

Who is Steven Wright?

Aaah - sacrolidge, Away with you!! :D

[wcoetzee]

Aaah - sacrolidge, Away with you!! :D

11akhtard you seriaaaaas:eek::D

[Myrrdin]

without the chicken you will not get an egg
you need a hen to mate with the chicken first

If you're a creationist, then the chicken came first and you'd be right.

If you're an evolutionist, the last evolutionary change would have resulted in an animal that is a chicken coming from an egg so then the egg would be first. Technically its parents would not be chickens, they would be chicken-like animals.

Point of view.

As for the "What happens if you get scared half to death twice?".
You would be 1/1 or 100% alive.

[11akhtard]

if you have any more than please keep them rolling.
as they say the more the merrier!:):):):):)::):):)

[11akhtard]

please dont let this one drop donw to the bottom. i will do anything.

Is the moon made out of cheese?

[Myrrdin]

If Mr Smith's peacock lays an egg in Mr Jones' yard, who owns the egg?

[11akhtard]

the peacock (dont have dirty minds it isnt good for your health)

no brainer

[11akhtard]

here is one that has never been answered and remains to be answered:
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

[Myrrdin]

the peacock (dont have dirty minds it isnt good for your health)

no brainer

Peacocks dont lay eggs !!!!! ^^

[11akhtard]

any one please send me some unanswerable questions becaus e i am really bored?

[waynegohl]

ok, can you slam a revolving door.

[11akhtard]

no you can't becasue it is always revolving.

no brainer

[waynegohl]

sorry, its still early in the evening.

[11akhtard]

no problem i have respect for peopple like you

[waynegohl]

thats what my therapist said.

[11akhtard]

hahaha no really, ur a Grand master and i am just another ordinary member.

[waynegohl]

thanks man but dont let that fool you my posts dont mean anything i talk alot of junk there are other people that are serious in helping out on the forum. but even the serious guys/girls make you laugh.

[11akhtard]

how much time do you spend on mybroadband?

[waynegohl]

gee i dont know i get on if i can at night till maybe 10 or even later if its a weekend sometimes it maybe a few hours over the weekend but at the same time (like now) i am also on another 3 forums.

[11akhtard]

woh that is hectic im still a beginner at these things

[waynegohl]

its fun and the people are very helpful. most of my time is on mybb.

[11akhtard]

hey can you help me i have been trying to get newshost for the past 3 months and i cant get it for free i have to pay, is there any way i can get it for free

[waynegohl]

sorry man i have no idea how half the internet works, i can talk alot of junk and ask questions but the intricate things i have no idea, but what you do is search this site for the information ar post a thread asking those questions.

[11akhtard]

oh thnks any way

[waynegohl]

sorry man i dont even know half the terms used on the forum but like i said start a thread and ask these people will help you.

[Thestealth]

If you have infinity to the power of time, what's the answer? (like 2 to the power of 3, etc)

[11akhtard]

the answer for that is very long and compliacting are yo ready :

5x45667+4566-1213x23245344+112414-1111x5673467sqaurer top the power of infinty=infinty to the power of time is + to pie mulipplied by log 23

[waynegohl]

the answer for that is very long and compliacting are yo ready :

5x45667+4566-1213x23245344+112414-1111x5673467sqaurer top the power of infinty=infinty to the power of time is + to pie mulipplied by log 23

yeah thats it. :confused:

[Jewelbox]

Half to death twice? Maybe 3rd time lucky!

[11akhtard]

or mabey u just die hahahahahha

[Thestealth]

the answer for that is very long and compliacting are yo ready :

5x45667+4566-1213x23245344+112414-1111x5673467sqaurer top the power of infinty=infinty to the power of time is + to pie mulipplied by log 23

Dude, I have made 2 conclusions from your answer:

1. You're very clever.
2. You're drunk posting.

Please say it's number 2...:(

[waynegohl]

is he right?

[Thestealth]

is he right?

He is...fscking GENIUS!!!!:)

[11akhtard]

Dude, I have made 2 conclusions from your answer:

1. You're very clever.
2. You're drunk posting.

Please say it's number 2...:(

i am really happy that someone recognises that you can be really drunk and stilll be clever and still be avle to type hicup hicup hicup hicup:D:D:D:D:D:):)
i am happy and like cheese do you

[waynegohl]

he is a SAVANT.

[11akhtard]

whAT is sAvAnT

[Thestealth]

he is a SAVANT.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

A good SAVANT is hard to find these days...whatever the f$ck that means...:o

[waynegohl]

i dont know how to attach links yet but the movie rainman was about a savant, sorta like autistic people that are geniuses.

[11akhtard]

is a savant someone who wants to fly to the moon because it is made of cheese?
if so then i am proudly one?:):D:):)

[waynegohl]

sadly...no!

[11akhtard]

oh no i feel so bad and sick now

[waynegohl]

oh no i feel so bad and sick now

cheese can do that...

[11akhtard]

i think i should become strict vegetarioan, does cheese contain meet

[Thestealth]

is a savant someone who wants to fly to the moon because it is made of cheese?
if so then i am proudly one?:):D:):)

Actually it is.
You're cleared for take off.

[11akhtard]

Halleluiah but does cheese contain meat?
if it does i might just have to forget that fantasy:(:(:(:(:(

[11akhtard]

u get scared

[11akhtard]

you get scared and then posssibly die from other causes:D