View Full Version : Compliments
Dolby
12-01-2009, 09:21 AM
Do girls react more to other guys (other than boyfriends/husbands) giving them compliments?
I've noticed before that when I give a compliment, I get an under the breath 'thanks' but if someone else gives the same compliment, it's smiles and a larger thing.
Is that because we're - as the SO - expected to give compliments or what?
It works opposite for me, because I just didn't feel like giving compliments anymore ... which in turn could make her feel unloved ... which could mean she seeks alternate 'loving' elsewhere ... which could mean she cheats on me, I found out and it's all over :/
It is drastic, but possible ;)
Devill
12-01-2009, 09:23 AM
Just breath....
Ok relax.
When giving her compliments make sure you really mean them, else don't bother :)
hxc87x
12-01-2009, 09:43 AM
depends on the compliment and your relationship with her.
as a boyfriend (especially long term) you'll be expected to tell her that you like her shoes, that she looks pretty today etc etc and because of the fact that she expects it it loses most of it's impact. also, those compliments are generic and kinda boring. which is why i try not to even think about them
if it's a girl you just met, then generic compliments like the above goes a bit further. she'll smile and say thanks, maybe even blush.
but if you're going to compliment someone, make sure it's geniune. even better... try make it unique/insightful.
example:
instead of saying that you think she's fun, say "you have an amazing energy about you"
blunomore
12-01-2009, 10:30 AM
Getting compliments from any other man makes me uncomfortable.
I suspect that, even without realising it, I radiate that "I am spoken for" message loud and clear.
scotty777
12-01-2009, 10:37 AM
dolby needs relationship help, oh the irony :rolleyes:
gdiza
12-01-2009, 10:40 AM
I give my GF compliments every single day... :) and she knows I mean it.
Mephisto_Helix
12-01-2009, 10:41 AM
gdiza - that's because you're just so glad to actually have a GF bru :p:D
Dolby
12-01-2009, 10:45 AM
dolby needs relationship help, oh the irony :rolleyes:
I'ts not so much relationship help, as find the thought process behind 'a stranger giving compliments is better than my loved one' ;)
Too me, it makes little sense ...
blunomore
12-01-2009, 11:04 AM
I'ts not so much relationship help, as find the thought process behind 'a stranger giving compliments is better than my loved one' ;)
Too me, it makes little sense ...
If you two have been together for long, I guess she finds compliments from other men more exciting, simply because she got used to you.
Devill
12-01-2009, 11:09 AM
gdiza - that's because you're just so glad to actually have a GF bru :p:D
ROFL :D
hxc87x
12-01-2009, 11:42 AM
If you two have been together for long, I guess she finds compliments from other men more exciting, simply because she got used to you.
+1
especially if it's something relating to her personality...
AcidRaZor
12-01-2009, 11:46 AM
If you two have been together for long, I guess she finds compliments from other men more exciting, simply because she got used to you.
+1
That and women don't believe you (especially if you're dating)
They expect you to say she looks pretty because otherwise you know there'll be hell to pay. (No sex is my favorite... or the silent treatment)
I'll go for the unique approach. Also make it known early on that you're not the type of guy who will just say **** to keep the peace.
*remembers the fights he had before...ahhhh*
I'm the type of guy who would call the girl on her crap. Called my ex-gf a spoilt brat once. Didn't shut up about it forever. Whenever we fought about her selfishness she'll just go "oh but yea you think I'm a spoilt brat" and on with the tears.
I never backed down though. I told her the only reason why I said that is because she was acting like one, and that she needed to be less selfish sometimes and not provoke me otherwise I will get mad and I don't like it when I'm mad.
Anyway
Women tend to believe random strangers more than your own word after a while... not because she got used to you, its because she's got you under the pantoffel regime and can't rely on your judgement because you're blinded by *****
AcidRaZor
12-01-2009, 11:47 AM
the last word had to do with genitals
Slootvreter
12-01-2009, 11:47 AM
Getting compliments from any other man makes me uncomfortable.
I suspect that, even without realising it, I radiate that "I am spoken for" message loud and clear.
I will confirm your suspicion :D But surely it's not wrong for someone to say 'Your hair looks nice today?'
AcidRaZor
12-01-2009, 11:52 AM
I will confirm your suspicion :D But surely it's not wrong for someone to say 'Your hair looks nice today?'
I think the only reasons why she might be uncomfortable is because:
a) The douchebag who is hitting on her is doing it all wrong
b) Even if (a) is not true, she might assume all men complimenting her is after something (like her money or her awesome tight ass)
c) She's been dating for so long she doesn't know anything witty or flirty to say back
Blue my deer, above isn't an insult or a stab at you. just reasons. If you'd like you can insult me back, but just thought I'd mention it's not an insult ok?
tco21
12-01-2009, 11:56 AM
To hell with compliments, as Katt Williams would say, "it's self-esteem b*tch, steem of your mother *****ing self!" hahaha.
Dolby
12-01-2009, 11:56 AM
And more than likely he wants to sleep with her ...
bwana
12-01-2009, 11:58 AM
And more than likely he wants to sleep with her ...Is this a stranger or someone she knows?
AcidRaZor
12-01-2009, 12:20 PM
Is this a stranger or someone she knows?
in most cases both
Dolby
12-01-2009, 01:03 PM
Is this a stranger or someone she knows?
Like work collegues or friends. My *guess* would be the less known to her, the better.
So I'd guess a stranger in the shop bumping into her, would get more of a smile/reaction that a friend
2CentsWorth
12-01-2009, 01:11 PM
Women respond to sincerity. Offer them that and you should get more than mumbled thanks.
2CentsWorth
12-01-2009, 01:12 PM
And more than likely he wants to sleep with her ...
How do you know this? Or more of an educated guess?
blunomore
12-01-2009, 01:42 PM
I think the only reasons why she might be uncomfortable is because:
a) The douchebag who is hitting on her is doing it all wrong
b) Even if (a) is not true, she might assume all men complimenting her is after something (like her money or her awesome tight ass)
c) She's been dating for so long she doesn't know anything witty or flirty to say back
Blue my deer, above isn't an insult or a stab at you. just reasons. If you'd like you can insult me back, but just thought I'd mention it's not an insult ok?
Naah, that's fine, no worries :D
I guess humans all flirt from time to time; even if it is only to get good service from the person behind the counter!
skoob
12-01-2009, 03:29 PM
Do girls react more to other guys (other than boyfriends/husbands) giving them compliments?
I've noticed before that when I give a compliment, I get an under the breath 'thanks' but if someone else gives the same compliment, it's smiles and a larger thing.
Is that because we're - as the SO - expected to give compliments or what?
It works opposite for me, because I just didn't feel like giving compliments anymore ... which in turn could make her feel unloved ... which could mean she seeks alternate 'loving' elsewhere ... which could mean she cheats on me, I found out and it's all over :/
It is drastic, but possible ;)
I enjoy getting compliments from my hubby. I get extremely shy and reserved when getting compliments from other males.
Gazer
12-01-2009, 05:05 PM
I don't really like compliments from a stranger. Puts me in "what does he want" mode. Professional compliments are ok but I don't think men (other then your SO) should pay compliments that could be mistaken for flirting
AcidRaZor
13-01-2009, 07:59 AM
some men compliment because they think it'll get them something
I don't do that until we're dating
skoob
13-01-2009, 08:05 AM
there are some men that will genuinely give a compliment without expecting anything. The boundaries are very clear
CathJ
13-01-2009, 09:32 AM
Like work collegues or friends. My *guess* would be the less known to her, the better.
So I'd guess a stranger in the shop bumping into her, would get more of a smile/reaction that a friend
This kinda makes sense to me, in a way... she might feel that you compliment her because you have to, you're expected to, and maybe you don't really mean it. Whereas if some stranger in a shop says "wow, love your haircut", they probably really do mean it otherwise they wouldn't bother saying it, since they've got nothing to get out if it.
hxc87x
13-01-2009, 09:43 AM
This kinda makes sense to me, in a way... she might feel that you compliment her because you have to, you're expected to, and maybe you don't really mean it. Whereas if some stranger in a shop says "wow, love your haircut", they probably really do mean it otherwise they wouldn't bother saying it, since they've got nothing to get out if it.
not quite.
depends on the type of compliment.
i dont compliment girls anymore... but back when i used to, i used to try use it to get into her pants... and i KNOW that most other guys did/do the same
CathJ
13-01-2009, 09:51 AM
not quite.
depends on the type of compliment.
i dont compliment girls anymore... but back when i used to, i used to try use it to get into her pants... and i KNOW that most other guys did/do the same
Depends on the situation as well - if you're at a bar, some guy starts complimenting you, yes, that could be what he's after. If it's someone at work, or someone else's husband, or someone you're not likely to see again (like some random guy in a shop), my point stands.
I may be wrong (and from this forum I suspect I may be), but I'd really like to believe that not everything a guy says to every women he meets is an attempt to get into her pants.
Dolby
13-01-2009, 09:54 AM
Seems very easy to sleep with women nowadays ...
Offer a drink ; buy dinner ; comment on her hair cut ... they just seem so gullible. The amount of times I've heard from guys, 'I just did it to get in her pants ...' is amazing. And yet women still fall for it day after day.
hxc87x
13-01-2009, 10:31 AM
it's not shocking news that it's easier to sleep with someone than it was 10 years ago...
i blame hip hop/rap
:D
Dolby
13-01-2009, 10:38 AM
I guess I'm ignorant and naive :/
Never been into random sex and trying to sleep with everyone I see. Oh well ...
koeks
13-01-2009, 11:26 AM
Do girls react more to other guys (other than boyfriends/husbands) giving them compliments?
I've noticed before that when I give a compliment, I get an under the breath 'thanks' but if someone else gives the same compliment, it's smiles and a larger thing.
Is that because we're - as the SO - expected to give compliments or what?
It works opposite for me, because I just didn't feel like giving compliments anymore ... which in turn could make her feel unloved ... which could mean she seeks alternate 'loving' elsewhere ... which could mean she cheats on me, I found out and it's all over :/
It is drastic, but possible ;)
dolby you got a gf now :eek: :D
Kitten
13-01-2009, 11:57 AM
Getting compliments from a bf is sort of expected, but getting a compliment from someone who you are not dating has a sense of wonder about it ... It's the kind of naughtyness that is actually acceptable :)
Regardless of what your partner says, you always think even if they didn't believe it, it's meant to be said ... coming from a stranger/friend/whatever is always nice.
TheHiveMind
13-01-2009, 12:26 PM
IMO
yeah girls react more to other peoples compliments. Cause shes used to getting your compliments and they have lost their meaning. Now you have a problem cause if you give her less, she will take that as an insult, but you need to give her less in order for her to actually get any enjoyment out of them and appreciate their actual meaning. So gradually tone it down, and make her earn them. Cause right now the compliments just feel like a routine because she doesn't feel like she has been earning them because they come too easy.
gdiza - that's because you're just so glad to actually have a GF bru :p:D
LOL! :D
Slootvreter
13-01-2009, 12:37 PM
Getting compliments from a bf is sort of expected, but getting a compliment from someone who you are not dating has a sense of wonder about it ... It's the kind of naughtyness that is actually acceptable :)
Thanks, that's what I always thought. :) Although I don't walk around hurling compliments at every female in a 10 mile radius! :D