Friends with an ex?

[Kitten]

Do you have a problem with your SO being friends with one of their ex's? or do they have a problem with you being friends with one of your ex's? I find that I am friends with many people who have split up, and one of the peoples new partners wont allow that person out because their ex will be there. Do you think this is a problem? Surely its over, and being friends is not a problem?! or am I mad?!

[Pitbull]

There is no such thing as an ex = friend.

One of the 2 still has hopes of it working out futher on in life. Tell him/her to drop the friend or you move on.

[Kitten]

I don't believe in asking someone to ditch a friendship, no matter who they are friends with.

[koeks]

Do you have a problem with your SO being friends with one of their ex's? or do they have a problem with you being friends with one of your ex's? I find that I am friends with many people who have split up, and one of the peoples new partners wont allow that person out because their ex will be there. Do you think this is a problem? Surely its over, and being friends is not a problem?! or am I mad?!

i have a problem with it. and my SO also has a problem with it... friends can be lovers... it's also easier to go back then forward...

[koeks]

There is no such thing as an ex = friend.

One of the 2 still has hopes of it working out futher on in life. Tell him/her to drop the friend or you move on.

+1

[Serqet]

Depends how close they are. I am on a friendly terms with 2 of my exes but i don't speak to them all the time. I hear from them every 3 months or so. I think that's normal and acceptable.

[syntax]

I dunno, i have never actually been able to stay proper good friends with an ex, there was always something on the table....

[Pitbull]

I don't believe in asking someone to ditch a friendship, no matter who they are friends with.

Then just move on. Seriously you are letting yourself in for allot of problems down the line.

[koeks]

I don't believe in asking someone to ditch a friendship, no matter who they are friends with.

like pitbull said... one of them has hope...

[Pitbull]

Depends how close they are. I am on a friendly terms with 2 of my exes but i don't speak to them all the time. I hear from them every 3 months or so. I think that's normal and acceptable.

I think that is the difference between friends and associates.

I see my friends just about weekly, daily. Associates I see when I see them.

So:
friends = No
Associates = Yes.

[Oculate]

I ocassionally chat to my ex on MSN. Then again, I wouldn't say we're friends. I agree with Pitbull, it will cause problems later on...

[Kitten]

basically 2 friends of mine split up because they fought all the time, and want to remain friends and go out with the group. Now, the ones new partner has said he may not do anything with the group if his ex will be there (her new partner is totally fine with it). Surely, 2 adults can realise they dont work as a couple and move forward, like adults?!

[Serqet]

basically 2 friends of mine split up because they fought all the time, and want to remain friends and go out with the group. Now, the ones new partner has said he may not do anything with the group if his ex will be there (her new partner is totally fine with it). Surely, 2 adults can realise they dont work as a couple and move forward, like adults?!

Exactly. I think so!

[Mila]

Nope no problem but my ex's new GF does so now we lost contact. Very sad :(

[Kitten]

I have had just about enough of people trying to control their SO! I think if you feel your relationship is strong enough, a friendship with anyone cant ruin that.

[Nick333]

There is no such thing as an ex = friend.

One of the 2 still has hopes of it working out futher on in life. Tell him/her to drop the friend or you move on.

K@k bru.

I can understand why someone would be jealous or threatened by a friendship between their SO and an ex but that doesnt mean its right.

You shouldnt be trying to control who your gf/bf is friends with. Even if you do think you have a reason to be worried.

People need to grow up and realise that healthy relationships can only exist between two people who want to be together.

[subculture]

I don't believe in asking someone to ditch a friendship, no matter who they are friends with.

Oddly enough I agree with you.... however I do not think it is always the case.

[ShaunSA]

Surely, 2 adults can realise they dont work as a couple and move forward, like adults?!

I bolded the key word in your very true statement :cool:

[Kitten]

This mate of mine phoned me this morning to say he will not be attending our get together as his SO has said he is not allowed. I thought omg, NOT ALLOWED?! since when can we not make our own choices!

[Kitten]

K@k bru.

I can understand why someone would be jealous or threatened by a friendship between their SO and an ex but that doesnt mean its right.

You shouldnt be trying to control who your gf/bf is friends with. Even if you do think you have a reason to be worried.

People need to grow up and realise that healthy relationships can only exist between two people who want to be together.

EXACTLY! I couldn't have said it better myself!

[Pitbull]

basically 2 friends of mine split up because they fought all the time, and want to remain friends and go out with the group. Now, the ones new partner has said he may not do anything with the group if his ex will be there (her new partner is totally fine with it). Surely, 2 adults can realise they dont work as a couple and move forward, like adults?!

Humans = Animals

No matter how you try and candy coat it, 2 males, one mate = Aggression.

That is the fact of life, might not be coming from both parties involved but one of them will be the aggressor. That is how the world works.

[Geriatrix]

This mate of mine phoned me this morning to say he will not be attending our get together as his SO has said he is not allowed. I thought omg, NOT ALLOWED?! since when can we not make our own choices!
Childish and controlling imho. Good luck to them with that.

[Pitbull]

K@k bru.

I can understand why someone would be jealous or threatened by a friendship between their SO and an ex but that doesnt mean its right.

You shouldnt be trying to control who your gf/bf is friends with. Even if you do think you have a reason to be worried.

People need to grow up and realise that healthy relationships can only exist between two people who want to be together.

Wrong.

I've been through this myself, I have also seen friend being through the exact same thing. It doesn't work, never has never will.

[Kitten]

If your partner is so easily convinced to do something with another person that you are afraid of letting them go out, do you genuinely want to be with that person? I don't want to be with the type of person who might stray if they go out with the wrong person, no way ... I know I would never do that, so I wouldnt be with someone I need to control in order to keep them with me.

[bwana]

This mate of mine phoned me this morning to say he will not be attending our get together as his SO has said he is not allowed. I thought omg, NOT ALLOWED?! since when can we not make our own choices!But he has made his choice even though you might not agree with it.

[Pitbull]

If your partner is so easily convinced to do something with another person that you are afraid of letting them go out, do you genuinely want to be with that person? I don't want to be with the type of person who might stray if they go out with the wrong person, no way ... I know I would never do that, so I wouldnt be with someone I need to control in order to keep them with me.

I think your are not viewing the total picture here.

Let's see how people break up, one breaks up with another for whatever reason. One wanted out, one still wanted in. Now the one who wanted out will always be happy if the one who wanted in is part of a set gathering. However the one who still wanted in but moved on in this case will still think he/she can make it work.

That is always the case. Unless both of them wanted out but never said anything till one day one of them said ok I'm out and the other was happy because they wanted out but didn't want to say anything first.

The second part is very very very rare.

[Jewelbox]

If it is easier to go back to your ex than moving on, then you should'nt be in your current relationship.

[Kitten]

But he has made his choice even though you might not agree with it.

I made this post because when he phoned to say he would not be attending, he said he can't deal with the fact that she won't let him see friends, do things that she feels threatening, etc ... he asked my opinion, and I thought before I go and open my trap I should find some other views. He wants to keep her but at the same time wants his space to see friends, go out etc ... we all go out as a group, now telling one they cant come because the other is is simply not right imo.

[Waaib]

basically 2 friends of mine split up because they fought all the time, and want to remain friends and go out with the group. Now, the ones new partner has said he may not do anything with the group if his ex will be there (her new partner is totally fine with it). Surely, 2 adults can realise they dont work as a couple and move forward, like adults?!

The issue here is what is more important to the people involved. Being friends with the group or being in love with each other? Tough choices but they have to be made sometimes. If he wants to be with her then he may have to choose.

[Pitbull]

I made this post because when he phoned to say he would not be attending, he said he can't deal with the fact that she won't let him see friends, do things that she feels threatening, etc ... he asked my opinion, and I thought before I go and open my trap I should find some other views. He wants to keep her but at the same time wants his space to see friends, go out etc ... we all go out as a group, now telling one they cant come because the other is is simply not right imo.

There is a reason police don't get involved in civil and domestic disputes ;) I suggest you rather keep your trap shut no matter what we or anyone else says :p

[koeks]

If it is easier to go back to your ex than moving on, then you should'nt be in your current relationship.

relationship are not governed by law and science, they are governed by hormones and feelings.... :rolleyes:

so jewel that might be the case, but how many times have people been in relationships that don't mean anything to them...:rolleyes:

[chiskop]

Humans = Animals

No matter how you try and candy coat it, 2 males, one mate = Aggression.


Rofl. All of my friends are human. Perhaps you should reconsider your friends?

[Kitten]

It has nothing to do with keeping my trap shut, when someone asks me something I give a reply ... I am not afraid to speak my mind. I however don't want to hurt what could potentially be a good relationship (it is still new atm).

[Pitbull]

Rofl. All of my friends are human. Perhaps you should reconsider your friends?

You know what I meant.

Instinct and hormones > Rational thought.

[chiskop]

You know what I meant.

Instinct and hormones > Rational thought.

Yes, I do know what you mean. But I don't agree with it.

Among my friends Rational thought > Instinct and hormones*. It's a part of growing up.



*In most cases.

[Waaib]

It has nothing to do with keeping my trap shut, when someone asks me something I give a reply ... I am not afraid to speak my mind. I however don't want to hurt what could potentially be a good relationship (it is still new atm).

If his new girl has been hurt by previous boyfriends cheating on her or something similar then this would be very rational to her in her world. He'll just have to choose.

[koeks]

You know what I meant.

Instinct and hormones > Rational thought.

thank you pitbull:D

[Nick333]

Wrong.

I've been through this myself, I have also seen friend being through the exact same thing. It doesn't work, never has never will.

I can think of couple situations where its worked fine.

Slightly off topic, but imo real men suck **** up and behave in a manner consistant with everones best interest and happiness. Admitedly there is shortage of real men these days but I dont thinks its that unlikely that a woman might have one as and ex/friend and a boyfriend at the same time.

[Pitbull]

Yes, I do know what you mean. But I don't agree with it.

Among my friends Rational thought > Instinct and hormones*. It's a part of growing up.



*In most cases.

You have supernatural friends then :D

Seriously, when it comes to woman all rational thought goes out the window. I have seen grown men old enough to be grand parents fight over a woman before.

It's mother nature at her best.

[Lino]

Been there done that! Does not always work.

I am still friends with my first ex however we are both on mutual grounds. My second ex couldn't just be friends with me so I broke off contact.

My current fiance', when we first started dating, she was a bit concerned what her ex's friends would think etc. Until eventually I layered it down, her ex's friends or me.

Sometimes one has to do these things I am afraid.

[Pitbull]

I can think of couple situations where its worked fine.

Slightly off topic, but imo real men suck **** up and behave in a manner consistant with everones best interest and happiness. Admitedly there is shortage of real men these days but I dont thinks its that unlikely that a woman might have one as and ex/friend and a boyfriend at the same time.

I have seen some of these real men.

They commit suicide, go all Columbine on peoples ass and so forth. Heaped up shyt has never done anyone any good. It's not normal. There is a reason our emotions have a trip switch when the build up becomes to much.

Now there is where real men come to the floor ;) If your switch doesn't trip when the pressure builds up to high then you are in for some serious issues.

My trip switch works pretty fine, maybe too fine tbh :D

[Kitten]

Yes, I do know what you mean. But I don't agree with it.

Among my friends Rational thought > Instinct and hormones*. It's a part of growing up.



*In most cases.

Exactly, my friends are this way as well. So I will basically say that he needs to make up his mind, and that if she can make him choose between her and his friends so early in the relationship it is highly likely that she will pull another stunt like this further on. Sound fine?

[koeks]

mother nature always wins...

[Pitbull]

Exactly, my friends are this way as well. So I will basically say that he needs to make up his mind, and that if she can make him choose between her and his friends so early in the relationship it is highly likely that she will pull another stunt like this further on. Sound fine?

Friends was a series on TV, that shyt doesn't happen in real life :D

[Kitten]

Friends was a series on TV, that shyt doesn't happen in real life :D

I like to believe that there are real, decent men out there not only the type of men you know or are friends with. I dated a guy who is now best friends with one of my ex's at the time of us dating. My ex and I remained good friends, we were both mature about the break up. These things can happen, do happen, it is not entirely impossible.

[Nick333]

I have seen some of these real men.

They commit suicide, go all Columbine on peoples ass and so forth. Heaped up shyt has never done anyone any good. It's not normal. There is a reason our emotions have a trip switch when the build up becomes to much.

Now there is where real men come to the floor ;) If your switch doesn't trip when the pressure builds up to high then you are in for some serious issues.

My trip switch works pretty fine, maybe too fine tbh :D

I think Clint Eastwoods pushing 80 now. Dont think he ever shot anyone who didnt deserve it. :p

[Waaib]

Exactly, my friends are this way as well. So I will basically say that he needs to make up his mind, and that if she can make him choose between her and his friends so early in the relationship it is highly likely that she will pull another stunt like this further on. Sound fine?

If he's met someone he'd like to spend the rest of his life with. Then he'll be willing to give up anything on earth to be with her.

[Nick333]

Exactly, my friends are this way as well. So I will basically say that he needs to make up his mind, and that if she can make him choose between her and his friends so early in the relationship it is highly likely that she will pull another stunt like this further on. Sound fine?

Actually I agree. Dude needs to ask for his nuts back and find another girlfriend.

[Pitbull]

I like to believe that there are real, decent men out there not only the type of men you know or are friends with. I dated a guy who is now best friends with one of my ex's at the time of us dating. My ex and I remained good friends, we were both mature about the break up. These things can happen, do happen, it is not entirely impossible.

Some woman find nerds who pee in their bed to be real men, some woman find mind who stand up for themselves and what they believe in to be real men.

I think this calls for a saying "in the eyes of the beholder". Your "real man" and someone else's real man is not always the same thing. I understand exactly what you are saying but inrelation to the 2 previously shagging couple that is now shagging other people.... sorry it doesn't work.

[koeks]

Actually I agree. Dude needs to ask for his nuts back and find another girlfriend.

LOL.... dude don't joke like that:)

[Nick333]

If he's met someone he'd like to spend the rest of his life with. Then he'll be willing to give up anything on earth to be with her.

Really!!! Including his self respect?

[Kitten]

If he's met someone he'd like to spend the rest of his life with. Then he'll be willing to give up anything on earth to be with her.

Sure of course ... but if she loves him enough to spend the rest of her life with him, is it right of her to make him choose? I know I wouldn't want to be with a person who can so easily give me ultimatums and demand I don't see my friends etc.

[Pitbull]

Actually I agree. Dude needs to ask for his nuts back and find another girlfriend.

Funny as this might sound, he might be the one not ok with it and blames the new dove ;)

Assumptions any one :p

[Waaib]

mmm ...

Getting nooky
vs
Standing around a fire drinking beer.

[Pitbull]

Really!!! Including his self respect?

So you're a real man are you ?

Your contradicting yourself a bit.

On one hand his a real man if he follows his girlfriend, on the other he's not for listening to a request from her :confused:

[Waaib]

Sure of course ... but if she loves him enough to spend the rest of her life with him, is it right of her to make him choose? I know I wouldn't want to be with a person who can so easily give me ultimatums and demand I don't see my friends etc.

It's right for her to ask him to make choices as long as she had decent reasons behind them. Not seeing ALL his friends is not right though. I'd also have issues with that too.

Have you asked him out? ..... (small joke)

[Nick333]

Funny as this might sound, he might be the one not ok with it and blames the new dove ;)

Assumptions any one :p

Could be.

[Kitten]

Funny as this might sound, he might be the one not ok with it and blames the new dove ;)

Assumptions any one :p

100% definitely not the case.

[Nick333]

So your a real man are you ?

Your contradicti8ng yourself a bit.

On one hand his a real man if he follows his girlfriend, on the other he's not for listening to a request from her :confused:

yes. it would appear that you are.

edit: confused that is

[Pitbull]

yes. it would appear that you are.

No sorry, I'm not taking a swing at you. I just find it contradicting.

On the one hand I see a "real" man in the eyes of the females to be a ladies man and be there for his lady.

Not turn around and tell her to stick her suggestions and do what he likes. There is balance in there, you just need to know how to take advantage of it. You can still keep her happy and be with all your friends excluding your ex. I don't see that as an unreasonable request.

[Kitten]

Update! I phoned to have the little talk and in the hour and a bit we've all been discussing this, he told her its been a long day and needs to see his friends ... to which she replied "as long as none of them are female" ... he told her to get lost. Decent blokes 1 - controlling folk 0 .. YAY! He said if she can try control him only weeks into their relationship, who knows what she will pull later on. Nice going.

[Pitbull]

Update! I phoned to have the little talk and in the hour and a bit we've all been discussing this, he told her its been a long day and needs to see his friends ... to which she replied "as long as none of them are female" ... he told her to get lost. Decent blokes 1 - controlling folk 0 .. YAY! He said if she can try control him only weeks into their relationship, who knows what she will pull later on. Nice going.

Messing up a relationship that would have lasted all his days = Priceless

[Nick333]

mmm ...

Getting nooky
vs
Standing around a fire drinking beer.

You have more options than pandering to someones insecurities or going without nookie mate.

[ShaunSA]

Messing up a relationship that would have lasted all his days = Priceless

Wouldn't have been much of a relationship if she was controlling who he was friends with :eek:

[Nick333]

No sorry, I'm not taking a swing at you. I just find it contradicting.

On the one hand I see a "real" man in the eyes of the females to be a ladies man and be there for his lady.

Not turn around and tell her to stick her suggestions and do what he likes. There is balance in there, you just need to know how to take advantage of it. You can still keep her happy and be with all your friends excluding your ex. I don't see that as an unreasonable request.

Well I do. Each to their own though.

[Kitten]

Messing up a relationship that would have lasted all his days = Priceless

I guess just as well I didn't get a chance to voice my opinion, otherwise I might be feeling rather rotten right now. He came to this conclusion all by himself.

[Nick333]

I guess just as well I didn't get a chance to voice my opinion, otherwise I might be feeling rather rotten right now. He came to this conclusion all by himself.

Good for him.

[koeks]

he has something to gain from his ex...

[Waaib]

You have more options than pandering to someones insecurities or going without nookie mate.

Sure. ....but when you think about it ... not really.

[Kitten]

he has something to gain from his ex...

What do you mean?

[koeks]

What do you mean?

he is going back... he got rid of his current girl because he still wants the one in the group... they will get back together. trust me:)

[Waaib]

Update! I phoned to have the little talk and in the hour and a bit we've all been discussing this, he told her its been a long day and needs to see his friends ... to which she replied "as long as none of them are female" ... he told her to get lost. Decent blokes 1 - controlling folk 0 .. YAY! He said if she can try control him only weeks into their relationship, who knows what she will pull later on. Nice going.

So she's single and vulnerable at the moment? Maybe introduce her to someone you'd like not to have in your group of friends. There is always one right? Everyone wins!

[Waaib]

Why couldn't she go out with the group by the way?

[chiskop]

You have more options than pandering to someones insecurities or going without nookie mate.


Sure. ....but when you think about it ... not really.

If those are the only options you see, you should reconsider your relationship.

[Kitten]

bwahahahahahahaha waaib not a bad idea! and koeks, we'll see ... I don't think he wants her back as neither of them believe they are right for each other. Besides, I believe her new bf will be there.

[Pitbull]

Wouldn't have been much of a relationship if she was controlling who he was friends with :eek:

Not friends but Ex.

That is not an unreasonable request. I doubt she has a problem with the friends, she does however have a problem with the ex.

[Waaib]

Check the other posts Pit. It seems she has issues with all other girls. Not a bad option .. only about 3 billion of them on earth to compete with.

[Pitbull]

Check the other posts Pit. It seems she has issues with all other girls. Not a bad option .. only about 3 billion of them on earth to compete with.

I guess it depends on how he feels about her then. I know my wife is my best friend and she has never asked me to choose between my friends and her. I'm glad because I will only have one choice and I won't even have to think about it ;)

[Nick333]

Not friends but Ex.

That is not an unreasonable request. I doubt she has a problem with the friends, she does however have a problem with the ex.

It seems that him and the ex hang with the same group of friends so thats a pretty big problem right there. Who would have had to find new friends? I suppose if he'd stuck with the hose beast he might as well have just hung with her friends since she would have owned his nuts anyway.

[Pitbull]

It seems that him and the ex hang with the same group of friends so thats a pretty big problem right there. Who would have had to find new friends? I suppose if he'd stuck with the hose beast he might as well have just hung with her friends since she would have owned his nuts anyway.

Dono if I'm a real man or not but

Wife/GF/Sex slave > Friends ;)

Sorry but if I'm put in a situasion where I have to choose, my wife wins. I was also the "Friends" first guy. But that changes as you grow wiser :o.

Maybe it's because I'm married and have kids but I have long ago out grown the Friends first thing. Although my friends and I have grown up together and we still see each other even the one chick I slept with but she's now married to another friend. Wife has no issues with it. But if she didn't approve I would still have chosen her above them.

Ex's are not worth it, and this guy just proved it again, his ex is coming before his new GF. He's not over her yet and hopes to get in her pants again in the future :D

[Nick333]

Dono if I'm a real man or not but

Wife/GF/Sex slave > Friends ;)

Sorry but if I'm put in a situasion where I have to choose, my wife wins. I was also the "Friends" first guy. But that changes as you grow wiser :o.

Maybe it's because I'm married and have kids but I have long ago out grown the Friends first thing. Although my friends and I have grown up together and we still see each other even the one chick I slept with but she's now married to another friend. Wife has no issues with it. But if she didn't approve I would still have chosen her above them.

Ex's are not worth it, and this guy just proved it again, his ex is coming before his new GF. He's not over her yet and hopes to get in her pants again in the future :D

Its not really a case of who comes first. Obviously there are times when your So should come first. You should be spending more time with your wife than your friends and your friends should respect your wife obviously.

Its about doing whats right in any given scenario. Some times your SO's going to be jealous and is going to try to control and/or change you to sooth their own insecurities. Allowing it is a recipe for disaster. You're not doing them any favours because it then becomes something they don' learn and grow from, and youre not doing yourself any favours because you're compromising your values.

Too many relationships become little havens for people to hide from the responsibility we have to grow as human beings as far as I'm concerned.

[apogeeza]

There is no such thing as an ex = friend.


Bull, Pit. :D

I'm friends with my ex. in fact we are better as frinds than as a couple. If your vocabulary is limited, please don't limit mine.

:cool:

[Pitbull]

Bull, Pit. :D

I'm friends with my ex. in fact we are better as frinds than as a couple. If your vocabulary is limited, please don't limit mine.

:cool:

Well it's pretty easy, either you still want to knob him/her or he/she still wants to knob you. That is the only reason it's working. If you couldn't live together as a couple, why is it going so nicely now ?

See what I'm saying :p

[Kitten]

Well it's pretty easy, either you still want to knob him/her or he/she still wants to knob you. That is the only reason it's working. If you couldn't live together as a couple, why is it going so nicely now ?

See what I'm saying :p

Pitbull not everything is about sex, i think some people are mature enough to look past that and realise that a friendship can mean a lot more than a pomp can! Seriously dude, sometimes when you can sit and talk to a person heart to heart its more than screwing them .. sometimes we need to learn to grow up we arent children anymore. sigh.

[Nanfeishen]

Do you have a problem with your SO being friends with one of their ex's? or do they have a problem with you being friends with one of your ex's? I find that I am friends with many people who have split up, and one of the peoples new partners wont allow that person out because their ex will be there. Do you think this is a problem? Surely its over, and being friends is not a problem?! or am I mad?!

The older we get the simpler these issues become, i am very good friends with 2 of my ex's, they are married to 2 of my very good friends as well, another 2 couples that are good friends of mine share commonality in that the man from 1 couple dated the woman from the other for many years, and are still good friends, there are no hangups from the wives or husbands about any of the past relationships.
Sometimes one realises that one is better being friends with someone than being lovers, and that to retain that quality friendship it is better to seperate and move on, in essence saving the friendship before the situation becomes ugly and there is a complete split and one losses a very good friend.
Those friendships that existed before any current partner, should never be compromised for the current partner, or ignored because the current partner doesnt approve. When partners start to put that sort of demand on your friendships, it is time to consider your relationship very, very carefully.
Partners come and go, good friends are forever.

[Kitten]

The older we get the simpler these issues become, i am very good friends with 2 of my ex's, they are married to 2 of my very good friends as well, another 2 couples that are good friends of mine share commonality in that the man from 1 couple dated the woman from the other for many years, and are still good friends, there are no hangups from the wives or husbands about any of the past relationships.
Sometimes one realises that one is better being friends with someone than being lovers, and that to retain that quality friendship it is better to seperate and move on, in essence saving the friendship before the situation becomes ugly and there is a complete split and one losses a very good friend.
Those friendships that existed before any current partner, should never be compromised for the current partner, or ignored because the current partner doesnt approve. When partners start to put that sort of demand on your friendships, it is time to consider your relationship very, very carefully.
Partners come and go, good friends are forever.

Said very well, partners do come and go and I learnt that the hard way. Friends are there forever, and are there to see you through losing different partners.

[skoob]

My ex and I are still friends. We will have the occasional chat to find out how things are going, but that's about it. I wouldn't do the whole going out for drinks thing though. I'm not sure if any of his girlfriends knew that he still kept in contact with me.

[koeks]

Well it's pretty easy, either you still want to knob him/her or he/she still wants to knob you. That is the only reason it's working. If you couldn't live together as a couple, why is it going so nicely now ?

See what I'm saying :p

my thoughts exactly.... :rolleyes:
when you are in a relationship, you should be friends with your SO,

a lot of people will agree that their SO is like their friend, so i don't see why if the friendship didn't workout while you were in a relationship will work when you are no longer in one... :rolleyes:

[arf9999]

I dunno, i have never actually been able to stay proper good friends with an ex, there was always something on the table....

..and on the couch, kitchen counter, shower, back seat of the car, ...

[AcidRaZor]

Do you have a problem with your SO being friends with one of their ex's? or do they have a problem with you being friends with one of your ex's? I find that I am friends with many people who have split up, and one of the peoples new partners wont allow that person out because their ex will be there. Do you think this is a problem? Surely its over, and being friends is not a problem?! or am I mad?!

You're not mad, but many people have the "ex can't be a friend" stance. Same happened with my ex. Brilliant together as friends, but she figured it's best to cut that out of her life instead because of the whole past thing.

Some people just can't grow up and be mature enough about these things. I'm glad some people exist out there that thinks the same way I do

[koeks]

You're not mad, but many people have the "ex can't be a friend" stance. Same happened with my ex. Brilliant together as friends, but she figured it's best to cut that out of her life instead because of the whole past thing.

Some people just can't grow up and be mature enough about these things. I'm glad some people exist out there that thinks the same way I do

she still wanted you bro...

[thatdamnJoe]

Wrong.

I've been through this myself, I have also seen friend being through the exact same thing. It doesn't work, never has never will.

So is it better to have your SO stay with you because they chose you or because of a lack of options?

[AcidRaZor]

she still wanted you bro...

why do you say that?

[koeks]

why do you say that?

your girl still wanted you and the though of being stuck i the friendship zone was just killing her. so hence she broke all ties...

why did you two break up in the first place? who broke up with who?

[Darshur]

Being friends with an ex is not a good idea, and being friends with ur friends ex is even worst!, speaking frm experience

[Voicy]

Depends how close they are. I am on a friendly terms with 2 of my exes but i don't speak to them all the time. I hear from them every 3 months or so. I think that's normal and acceptable.

One always wants more than the other...


Then just move on. Seriously you are letting yourself in for allot of problems down the line.

Exactly.


like pitbull said... one of them has hope...

See?


If his new girl has been hurt by previous boyfriends cheating on her or something similar then this would be very rational to her in her world. He'll just have to choose.

You need to make a conscious decision who you are going to take preference over...because there WILL be a day when you will have to choose and if one of them isn't sure where they stand with you - there will be much pain and awkwardness...