An “article” from today’s Daily Sun

[mikeyb]

I wish I could make this up, but this is the article on the front page today :)


END OF THE EVIL CHICKEN!
MAGGIE Zibi (45) woke up to find a strange chicken outside her house… Bits of muthi were tied to it and it apparently spoke a strange language! Maggie KNEW it was evil. SO SHE CALLED A FOREIN SANGOMA … WHO FINISHED THE CHICKEN OFF AFTER A MIGHTY MUTHI BATTLE! Maggie - from Accacia Park near Philippi in Cape Town – said FIVE bottles were tied to the brown chicken and it even had a horn around its neck. The single mother of a 10-yearold boy prayed… and screamed for her sister Nokunzola – who advised her not to touch the scary fowl.
Sangoma Gogo Bila from Mozambigue arrived at the same time as a SunTeam. The chicken was “talking in a strange language no one could understand.”
Sangoma Bila grabbed the bird and fed it his own muthi to make it weak. Hundreds of residents gathered to watch the battle.
They shouted at the chicken: “We know who you are. Just change and reveal yourself…we know you are human!”
Maggie said: “I trust my God. He knew me before birth and He will never fail me.
“Whoever is out to get me or kill me must forget it because my life is in the hands of Jesus.”
The sangoma said: “The chicken is very dangerous…
The person who sent it here wants Maggie dead.
The person is doing everything in her power to destroy this household but she (Maggie) is too strong.”
After feeding the chicken muthi the young sangoma dug a hole in front of Maggie’s house and burned the muthi bird with paraffin.
Then he cut it open with a sharp knife and poured more muthi inside.
The remains of the strange fowl were buried outside Maggie’s house.

That is exactly how the “article” appears in the paper. None of the emphasis was added by me. I also want to add that I don’t buy the Daily Son; its part of a selection of newspapers available at my varsity’s library. But it’s worth the read for some laughs sometimes. Next to the “article” there is a picture of black crispy burn chicken. :wtf:

[MegasXLR]

"The chicken was “talking in a strange language no one could understand.”

Like a chicken "chirping" language? The only reality part of the whole incident. (Checks out the window to see if I am still in the 21st century, Yes! great .... but then realized I am still in Africa.)

[GreyBush]

Hahahahahaha that is hilarious.. god I wish there was a video of this.

[Human]

The scariest thought is that people are actually paying for this garbage.

[mikeyb]

The scariest thought is that people are actually paying for this garbage.

and voting

[Nerfherder]

That has to be a lie....there is no way they would have not eaten DAT CHIKKINS !!!

[The_Unnamed]

I had a similar incident happen to me.
It was extremely scary.

[mikeyb]

I had a similar incident happen to me.
It was extremely scary.

Killer chicken out to get you?

[EchoZA]

Drugs are bad mckay!!! :)

[The_Unnamed]

Killer chicken out to get you?

McD is not the only fast food that can kill you! Watch out for the colonel!

[Garyvdh]

I hate it when someone puts a chicken like that on my door.

[GhostSixFour]

Is that the chicken that chicken licken refers to as Soul Food?

[GreyBush]

Is that the chicken that chicken licken refers to as Soul Food?

Off topic but how funny is that ad where that family has been living in a bomb shelter under chicken licken since 1994... that ballie makes me crack up at the end.

[Slootvreter]

and voting

Yeah dude I thought about the same thing. Last week Tuesday I saw on the cover of Die Son :sick: some article about a shapeshifter (ghost like thing) tormenting residents of some poor area :rolleyes:

And then just now in News24 I read that the ANC Womens League held a cleansing ceremony with sangomas to cleanse some sculpture they claim was cursed by Hellen Zille. My god. :eek:

[shogun]

Poor chicken :/

[GreyBush]

My next watchdog (... er watch-chicken) will be a chicken with 5 bottles and a bone round its neck.

[ice_cubes]

:D
never a dull moment in SA

[CrazYmonkeY159]

im going to subscribe to this newspaper HAHAHAHAHA

[R13...]

So the Sun team didnt think to take some snaps, a YouTube-able clip of the language?

[RexxGrim]

To weekends ago I found strange coloured eggs hidden all over my garden. Wonder is it was evil chickens that wasn't hatched yet. Should I contact a sangoma?

[YingYang]

I don't know what's worse, the people who believe this hogwash or the jouno's

[Anony-mousse]

I can't believe people really do stuff like that. That's a shocking reality flash.

[PhreakBoy]

Damn, if only the SPCA could have gotten there at the same time - then this "fight" could have really been epic!

[ghoti]

Religious folk... haha.. theyre funny in this context :D

[satanboy]

Drunk chicken?

[ShaunSA]

It's Maggie Zibi and that sangoma who should have been burnt!

[wrathex]

Any bird of that size with that amount of objects hung from it's neck will make strange sounds
/shakes head


____________________
The poor bird - tortured and tortured and then set alight

[PhreakBoy]

Any bird of that size with that amount of objects hung from it's neck will make strange sounds
/shakes head


____________________
The poor bird - tortured and tortured and then set alight

Bottles come in various sizes - think little shampoo in hotel etc.

[BLIXEMPIE]

the ANC Womens League held a cleansing ceremony with sangomas to cleanse some sculpture they claim was cursed by Hellen Zille.:eek:

You have got to be fkn kidding me?!

[Slootvreter]

You have got to be fkn kidding me?!

http://www.iol.co.za/news/south-africa/gauteng/sangomas-cleanse-statue-of-da-s-dirt-1.1066175

[gregmcc]

Aaah..welcome to deepest darkest Africa!

[starring]

Drugs are bad mckay!!! :)

hahahaha...maybe the ingredients used in weed these days has gone stronger or something. That has got to be the most full of chicken sh*t newspaper ive ever read in ma life. everytime on the front page, there's gotta be something about witchcraft or somebody stabbing someone in style. at least the owners/editors are making a killing of it. Shows how many gullible people there still are out there,

[Helghast]

The Daily Son is full of garbage.

[zeridine]

el pollo diablo?

[EchoZA]

hahahaha...maybe the ingredients used in weed these days has gone stronger or something. That has got to be the most full of chicken sh*t newspaper ive ever read in ma life. everytime on the front page, there's gotta be something about witchcraft or somebody stabbing someone in style. at least the owners/editors are making a killing of it. Shows how many gullible people there still are out there,

Maybe they can post an article about how voting for DA with help ANC win :p

[MickeyD]

You have got to be fkn kidding me?!
Here's more...
http://mype.co.za/new/2011/03/call-in-the-sangomas-because-arrive-alive-sucks/


Metro ratepayers will be asked to foot a R 129 510.00 bill for a traditional “cleansing ceremony” suggested by sangomas to reduce accidents and deaths on the M17 road to Motherwell.
The budget for this event, which will be met from the Executive Mayor’s Discretionary Fund, includes R 42 500.00 for cows, sheep and goats to be slaughtered, and R 14 490 for gin, brandy and beer.

The M17, which is a Provincial road, was never officially opened after being completed in 1988. Since then, 69 people have died and 1,390 were injured on the road.
I am informed that sangomas told a meeting of ANC politicians and municipal officials that ancestors living under the Swartkops River were angry at the road carnage, and that a traditional cleansing ceremony would help to improve the situation.

While it goes without saying that South Africa’s many cultural beliefs must always be respected, Metro ratepayers should not have to pay for this jamboree, more especially at a time when the local authority is facing a cash crisis of such major proportions that Bhisho has offered to bail the Metro out financially.

An official document shows that the first phase of the ceremony – which is being driven by Public Health chairperson Councillor Noluthando Mapu – was held last week at a cost of R6,670. This included R2,000 for a video of the proceedings; brandy (R110); gin (R80); tobacco (R100); beads (R1,600); two knobkerries (R100); snuff, matches, candles, wood, traditional medicines, and vegetables.

Friday’s ceremony, it seems, is going to be on a much grander scale.

Two tents, each seating 500 people – who will be transported by bus at a cost of R4,000 – will be erected at a cost of R30,000; a PA system will cost R4,500; security will cost R12,000; and crockery will be hired for R2,000; and plastic containers for food will cost R4,000.

[nivek]

And I regularly hear South Africans calling Americans stupid

[MegasXLR]

And I regularly hear South Africans calling Americans stupid

Oh FFS, after reading the previous article are there any of the "stupid" Americans that may be so kind to take in the remaining sane people from South Africa, These cultural shocks is too much for any human to bear, in actual fact it's clear to me that it's not culture but rather an excuse to have a huge expensive party and get drunk. No wonder there is no funds to cover toilets, build more houses or assist the poor.

[D.B.Cooper]

Here's more...
http://mype.co.za/new/2011/03/call-in-the-sangomas-because-arrive-alive-sucks/

What a mindbogglingly obscene waste of money.

[RustyPrincess]

I'm upset there is no video to go with this. :D
Chickens speaking a language humans don't understand!! The cheek of it! :)

[marine1]

Is that the chicken that chicken licken refers to as Soul Food?Bwahahahah oh my freaking god tears down my face and coffee everywhere !!

[losectrl]

:D I wonder what will the front page headline be today :D

[DanH]

Where did the page 3 girls go? :(