Story of my life... Greener pastures?

[Charlkie]

Hey I'm Charl... So I wanted to start this thread because I want to hear from you people about some ideas, of a question which I'll ask a bit later after after a brief history of the last 3 years of my life.

2009 directly after high school I went to UP, studied Bsc (Information and Knowledge systems) was in the men's residential house Olienhout for 2 years had the time of my life socially and then at the end of 2010 I was forced to end my studies because I just could not grasp programming, I passed calculus ,computer science, business management and other subjects but because programming is one of the main subjects and I failed it twice I had to "drop-out" I never had programming in school.. so maybe it was a bad choice wanting to study programming...
anyway the beginning of this year I started marketing... I should have started with marketing from the beginning because I did aptitude tests and this psychologist dude told me to go into marketing.

So here I am now, I'm 21 years old, and a first year student, all my friends at university age graduating, but I am a 1st year marketing student, and I've bee so demotivated the last semester and not sure if I will even do well...

its holidays now and I just sit here at my house in Richardsbay playing Xbox and go drinking with friends, the problem is that I am sick of living off my parents, I'm done with being a child although they still see me as one...
I don't want to go out and spend my parents money, all my friends in richardsbay work and didn't study, they make their own money...(that rhymed lol)

So here is my Question! does anybody know where I can get a job and be able to pay of like an apartment or can i like go to another country, my mom moved out of her parents house when she was 17 and with her first job in Kimberley working with diamonds, she could pay off her apartment and a car and have money to save and spend(this was like 1970s - 1980s...

Is there like another country where I can do this like Netherlands? USA? New Zealand? im getting tired of studying full time and getting nowhere...

[zizo911]

Do you already have a degree? If you do you can try teaching English overseas?

[Peon]

Charlkie, focus on one thing at a time. Rather focus mental energy to get a better job here while still having a stepping stone with your folks. Some people would really like to have parents to count on. So in that regard you are blessed. Its December, just chill your mind and rethink it in a weeks time. No immediate life changing decision is required right now.

[TJ99]

21 and all your friends are graduating? What were they studying, B photography?? Even 23 is a bit young to finish studying these days.

Honestly though, if you found something you are actually interested in (which it seems you have), stick with it, finish your studies and then get a proper job. The key to success in life actually, is being passionate about what you do. It really is that simple. If you study or do something because you "heard those people make lots of money", you are making a mistake. Likewise if you give up something you are actually interested in and/or good at. Just stick with it, having doubts is perfectly normal. I hear you about the parents thing, I feel exactly the same. I know it's a cliché but life really was very different back then. People could afford houses and cars very easily for various reasons which don't apply any more. I'm sure I don't have to tell you about the sad state of mining these days with all the government nonsense, fingers in pies etc.

If that doesn't convince you (I know it didn't convince me at that age), take the pragmatic approach. Finishing your studies gives you something to do while you make your mind up at least, and it's a great fall-back to have even if you do decide to do something else afterwards. Giving up would be a massive waste. These days, countries like NZ and especially Europe have very strict requirements for who they let in (if you're not European yourself), even with a degree it will be hard to get in. Believe me, I've tried and know people who have tried. The USA is the worst it seems. Whereas if you have a degree and experience and you're good at what you do, overseas companies will end up making you offers instead.

[Freaksta]

Stick with it, I've just finnished my 3rd year now(21years old), going to do my honours next year and then do my CA, so I'll technically only be done when Im 25 although I'll be earning while doing my articles. The other options you have to earn income while studying is to become a tutor at varsity or privately, I know guys charging R100 to R150 an hour, and then other guys taking tuts once a week at varsity and they get payed about R800 a month. Otherwise if you can handle it try find a job in marketing and study part time. If you're any good with book keeping you could also get a part time job doing that.

In my eyes, I guess you want to be independent, but your parents are still willing to pay for your studies. So I would say try earn income to support yourself. It seems that you want to move out though, that's one thing I've never understood haha, yes of course I want to move out eventually but even at 21 I'm pretty happy at home ;) life is expensive so only once I can afford that will that happen!

[D3x!]

Dude seriously you know how lucky you are to have the opportunity to study? You were having the time of your life socially but were failing, perhaps having worked harder would have helped?

Get a part time job, help out where you can at home.

It sounds to me like you want everything now but don't want to work for it, change your attitude and motivate yourself.

[MartinMorrison]

You really should use any credits you passed from a previous degree towards a new degree. You are allowed to transfer 1 year max worth of credits from another university even....within the same university its even easier. Especially if you passed some comp sci/maths/ stats modules as they tend to be 'harder'.

[Maddmatt]

I don't get how you can pass calculus but fail programming, was the other way round for me :p
Can't you study something where you can benefit from the subjects you did pass at uni? IT? Or give programming a second try?

[EnchanterG]

Your lack of motivation probably stems from the comparison you've drawn with your other friends. Yoy want to be as independant as they seemingly are. Your title chosen for your post further illustrates your mind set, but you may have subconciously already made your decision.

We are all familiar with the statement, "The grass is always greener on the other side" and the meaning behind the axiom is simply that what we expect or desire is not ever as good as it seems from afar.

By choosing the words "greener pastures" you are referencing that axiom and may already realise that your desires are not practical or realistic.

Facts are, you need a degree and quitting now would be an enormous waste of time. Be practical: you've spent more time acquiring a degree than you have left to complete one. Students often feel a denotivational 'slump' near the end of a course, and December is a difficult time for a myriad of reasons.

As regards your parents, all I can imagine is you are feeling self concious about your dependancy. So get a part time job waitering or something and find your independance, but realistically you aren't going to survive on your own in your current state.

There is nothing wrong with that either. Its a necessary part of life, and changes quite quickly.

Stay the course. Perserverance is a virtue!

[warchylde]

Dude seriously you know how lucky you are to have the opportunity to study? You were having the time of your life socially but were failing, perhaps having worked harder would have helped?

Get a part time job, help out where you can at home.

It sounds to me like you want everything now but don't want to work for it, change your attitude and motivate yourself.

This.... Many people would kill for the opportunity to study

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[volstruis]

Stop being a baby you have the opportunity to study and by your loafing around I gather its on your parents budget.
Man up face the fact that IT didn't work for you and move on FFS. Get a holiday job now and save your money and go finish your marketing course. If you drop out now and get that job at Spar like you planning now you will regret it with all you have later.
You are in a much better situation to make your life better and insure you make it than the majority of the country, so stop whining and count your blessings. Try varsity/flat/car on your own wallet then you will know what its all about.

[samr1wp]

Dude seriously you know how lucky you are to have the opportunity to study? You were having the time of your life socially but were failing, perhaps having worked harder would have helped?

Get a part time job, help out where you can at home.

It sounds to me like you want everything now but don't want to work for it, change your attitude and motivate yourself.


This.... Many people would kill for the opportunity to study

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this^

even if you study and yet it may seem to be just paper you can then find other ways of making money

so study and dropping out is not good so dont worry of what your friends have cos now they there and some days they wont and they wont be providing for you so dotn worry about them

you only 21 and if the parents are supporting you while studying be happy

focus on your studying and build a career and yeah 21 and done with studying good for them ....i was done at 23 ...so theres no difference

[Voicy]

You're still young, you have a LONG road ahead of you. First thing you can do now is help your parents out around the house as much as you can. Bill Gates said it best when he mentioned that you should first learn to clean your room before trying to save the world.

Don't feel bad about being behind your mates, life is not a race. Would you rather want to start working at the same time as them and be stuck in a job you hate forever? If you enjoy marketing, stick it out. Truth is you have very little chance to get work overseas without some qualification. Hell, with a green ID book you even struggle WITH a degree. :/ (ask me.)

Focus on your studies and if need be/time allowing, get a part time job. My first 8-5 job (while studying) earned me R200/week. It was ***, I won't lie - but it helped me build up my c.v. My next 8-5 job I worked for free for the first month just to get experience. They put me on their payroll a month later. I did this & worked as a bar tender 3 nights a week while studying engineering. The downside is I had NO life because of it.

As for your mom's experience, you cannot look at it in the same light. Cars/houses/whatnot were dirt cheap back then in comparison to today's standards. It was a simpler life.

Lastly, stop comparing your life to facebook. Your friends all seem to have the time of their lives, but you see a different "magical" photo from each person, it's not 1 person living the dream. Also, they'll only advertise their fortunes, not their burdens.

[ice_cubes]

Stop comparing yourself to your friends! You wont get anywhere in life. Already you want to quit school just because XYZ is graduating and you are a first year.

You need new friends & to listen to your parents more.

[SharkBait]

Stop comparing yourself to your friends! You wont get anywhere in life. Already you want to quit school just because XYZ is graduating and you are a first year.

You need new friends & to listen to your parents more.

Wonder what he is going to do when he meets a girl (the one) and then find out she makes more money than him. ;)

[EnchanterG]

At 21 they're all The One. If she's really worth it, he'll be emotionally secure enough to know that material wealth is irrelevant.

[ice_cubes]

Wonder what he is going to do when he meets a girl (the one) and then find out she makes more money than him. ;)
he'll have a heartattack!better start preparing himself

[Charlkie]

well.. thanks for all the replies... yeah i should probably just keep studying... i would love to work but what can i do? there is no jobs...

[D3x!]

well.. thanks for all the replies... yeah i should probably just keep studying... i would love to work but what can i do? there is no jobs...

erm you can waiter or something

[samr1wp]

well.. thanks for all the replies... yeah i should probably just keep studying... i would love to work but what can i do? there is no jobs...


erm you can waiter or something

or get a part time call centre job ...not hectic hours ...and good pay

[AniV]

A lot of my friends also didn't go study, or only studied for a year or two before starting to work.
In my third and fourth year they were all out partying, or working, had money to get their own car and their own apartment and do fun stuff. I was a broke student sponging off my parents, making a bit of money here and there with a student job. I rode a little scooter or had to lift club with my mom. I stayed at home and had to abide by my parent's rules while under their roof, and they kept a keen eye on my marks and how much I was studying vs partying. It was pretty much like highschool but I got to choose the subjects. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life but my parents were footing the bill so I stuck it out in Engineering.

Took me 5.5years and a degree change to finally graduate. Took getting married to move out of my parents' house. Still didn't have a job or much money of my own. My friends all seemed so far ahead of me in the game of life.

Now, I've been working for roughly 2.5years and probably earn more than any of my friends do. That's the difference a degree makes. Now, I have a financial advantage because my parents were willing to support me while I studied so I didn't incur a whole lot of debt I have to pay off.

Stick it out man. A degree makes a huge difference to your future. I know you feel bad because your parents are footing the bill, and because they foot the bill you feel like a kid in their eyes and they can still tell you what to do. Stick it out. They care about you enough to be giving you an education. They care enough to still be giving advice and trying to help you make the right decisions. Working life is not fun. Yes, you have the moola to do fun stuff but with it comes all sorts of other debts that make quick work of your salary. If your parents are willing to help you out for a few more years, don't throw away the opportunity. One day you will be able to return the favour if you get a good degree and thus a good job and thus make a decent salary.

For the record - there are LOTS of student jobs available in a variety of departments at UP. Mostly admin work, but the university actually pays ridiculously well. Then there's also tutoring, as has been previously suggested. You will have a measure of independence by getting a student job. I studied engineering and managed a student job, so i'm sure you can do the same. Just ask around. Draw up a CV and hand it in at the various departments. Check out the notice boards. Go visit the CPC and ask them to help you get a student job. (CPC = Career Placement Centre at the CSC). In fact, the CSC uses a lot of students to help do admin work during the december/january holidays to prep for registration in Jan and Feb. Student Card issuers and other such jobs.

If you're stuck in Richard's Bay with your parents for the entire holiday and can't find a job there, perhaps consider volunteering instead. It is rewarding, will keep you busy, shows responsibility to your parents (who may treat you more like an adult) and looks very good on a CV which will help you find another job later.

Life is what you make of it. Make smart decisions and put in the effort NOW, and you will reap the rewards later! More long-term thinking, less immediate gratification. Also, try drinking less beer. Alcohol is expensive. Save that money instead! Be more frugal.

Above all - be passionate about what you're doing.

[grantza]

finish your studies mate. if you dont, the day will come when you are older & you will then really regret not finishing off.
sounds like a ball-ache, but do it. once done you can travel the world & land jobs much easier.

[ice_cubes]

A lot of my friends also didn't go study, or only studied for a year or two before starting to work.
In my third and fourth year they were all out partying, or working, had money to get their own car and their own apartment and do fun stuff. I was a broke student sponging off my parents, making a bit of money here and there with a student job. I rode a little scooter or had to lift club with my mom. I stayed at home and had to abide by my parent's rules while under their roof, and they kept a keen eye on my marks and how much I was studying vs partying. It was pretty much like highschool but I got to choose the subjects. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life but my parents were footing the bill so I stuck it out in Engineering.

Took me 5.5years and a degree change to finally graduate. Took getting married to move out of my parents' house. Still didn't have a job or much money of my own. My friends all seemed so far ahead of me in the game of life.

Now, I've been working for roughly 2.5years and probably earn more than any of my friends do. That's the difference a degree makes. Now, I have a financial advantage because my parents were willing to support me while I studied so I didn't incur a whole lot of debt I have to pay off.

Stick it out man. A degree makes a huge difference to your future. I know you feel bad because your parents are footing the bill, and because they foot the bill you feel like a kid in their eyes and they can still tell you what to do. Stick it out. They care about you enough to be giving you an education. They care enough to still be giving advice and trying to help you make the right decisions. Working life is not fun. Yes, you have the moola to do fun stuff but with it comes all sorts of other debts that make quick work of your salary. If your parents are willing to help you out for a few more years, don't throw away the opportunity. One day you will be able to return the favour if you get a good degree and thus a good job and thus make a decent salary.

For the record - there are LOTS of student jobs available in a variety of departments at UP. Mostly admin work, but the university actually pays ridiculously well. Then there's also tutoring, as has been previously suggested. You will have a measure of independence by getting a student job. I studied engineering and managed a student job, so i'm sure you can do the same. Just ask around. Draw up a CV and hand it in at the various departments. Check out the notice boards. Go visit the CPC and ask them to help you get a student job. (CPC = Career Placement Centre at the CSC). In fact, the CSC uses a lot of students to help do admin work during the december/january holidays to prep for registration in Jan and Feb. Student Card issuers and other such jobs.

If you're stuck in Richard's Bay with your parents for the entire holiday and can't find a job there, perhaps consider volunteering instead. It is rewarding, will keep you busy, shows responsibility to your parents (who may treat you more like an adult) and looks very good on a CV which will help you find another job later.

Life is what you make of it. Make smart decisions and put in the effort NOW, and you will reap the rewards later! More long-term thinking, less immediate gratification. Also, try drinking less beer. Alcohol is expensive. Save that money instead! Be more frugal.

Above all - be passionate about what you're doing.

+1
I nominate this as *post of the week*

[gargamel]

in Zim at the age of 18 after passing my A levels, my father told me to pack my bags and go.

I had just got a place to study engineering but no money and homeless. I started working in sanitation from 6pm to 2am, had lectures from 8am to 2pm and i sold veggies and fruit on the street from 3 to 5pm. That was my life for 5 years and the end result was a M.ENG in engineering. Would i do it again? You betcha in a heartbeat.

All i'm saying is others have it worse than you and stop being lazy and bloody work hard in your studies

[MartinMorrison]

in Zim at the age of 18 after passing my A levels, my father told me to pack my bags and go.

I had just got a place to study engineering but no money and homeless. I started working in sanitation from 6pm to 2am, had lectures from 8am to 2pm and i sold veggies and fruit on the street from 3 to 5pm. That was my life for 5 years and the end result was a M.ENG in engineering. Would i do it again? You betcha in a heartbeat.

All i'm saying is others have it worse than you and stop being lazy and bloody work hard in your studies


http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme.png

[gargamel]

http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme.png

LMAO that looks just like me.

[Pavan]

A lot of my friends also didn't go study, or only studied for a year or two before starting to work.
In my third and fourth year they were all out partying, or working, had money to get their own car and their own apartment and do fun stuff. I was a broke student sponging off my parents, making a bit of money here and there with a student job. I rode a little scooter or had to lift club with my mom. I stayed at home and had to abide by my parent's rules while under their roof, and they kept a keen eye on my marks and how much I was studying vs partying. It was pretty much like highschool but I got to choose the subjects. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life but my parents were footing the bill so I stuck it out in Engineering.

Took me 5.5years and a degree change to finally graduate. Took getting married to move out of my parents' house. Still didn't have a job or much money of my own. My friends all seemed so far ahead of me in the game of life.

Now, I've been working for roughly 2.5years and probably earn more than any of my friends do. That's the difference a degree makes. Now, I have a financial advantage because my parents were willing to support me while I studied so I didn't incur a whole lot of debt I have to pay off.

Stick it out man. A degree makes a huge difference to your future. I know you feel bad because your parents are footing the bill, and because they foot the bill you feel like a kid in their eyes and they can still tell you what to do. Stick it out. They care about you enough to be giving you an education. They care enough to still be giving advice and trying to help you make the right decisions. Working life is not fun. Yes, you have the moola to do fun stuff but with it comes all sorts of other debts that make quick work of your salary. If your parents are willing to help you out for a few more years, don't throw away the opportunity. One day you will be able to return the favour if you get a good degree and thus a good job and thus make a decent salary.

For the record - there are LOTS of student jobs available in a variety of departments at UP. Mostly admin work, but the university actually pays ridiculously well. Then there's also tutoring, as has been previously suggested. You will have a measure of independence by getting a student job. I studied engineering and managed a student job, so i'm sure you can do the same. Just ask around. Draw up a CV and hand it in at the various departments. Check out the notice boards. Go visit the CPC and ask them to help you get a student job. (CPC = Career Placement Centre at the CSC). In fact, the CSC uses a lot of students to help do admin work during the december/january holidays to prep for registration in Jan and Feb. Student Card issuers and other such jobs.

If you're stuck in Richard's Bay with your parents for the entire holiday and can't find a job there, perhaps consider volunteering instead. It is rewarding, will keep you busy, shows responsibility to your parents (who may treat you more like an adult) and looks very good on a CV which will help you find another job later.

Life is what you make of it. Make smart decisions and put in the effort NOW, and you will reap the rewards later! More long-term thinking, less immediate gratification. Also, try drinking less beer. Alcohol is expensive. Save that money instead! Be more frugal.

Above all - be passionate about what you're doing.

Excellent advice and sound suggestions.

[satanboy]

My parents refused to pay for my studies and sent me to the army. FFS...

Complaining about how good you have it....sheesh.

[satanboy]

Snip

Show some respect, man.

[Peon]

in Zim at the age of 18 after passing my A levels, my father told me to pack my bags and go.

I had just got a place to study engineering but no money and homeless. I started working in sanitation from 6pm to 2am, had lectures from 8am to 2pm and i sold veggies and fruit on the street from 3 to 5pm. That was my life for 5 years and the end result was a M.ENG in engineering. Would i do it again? You betcha in a heartbeat.

All i'm saying is others have it worse than you and stop being lazy and bloody work hard in your studies

I take my hat off to you. Got some big kahunas between your legs there.

Quite an inspirational story, will qoute it when meeting lazy sods in my circle of influence.

[tsume]

@charlkie, let me give you some advice from someone who has been in a real dark place.

I failed maths had to sit around a whole year just to complete that one subject, during that time I feel into a big depression. I kept it to myself as I felt I had burdened my parents already. To this day I still get down...but most of the part I always try to look up. I think your doing the right thing first by expressing what state your in.

Personally I don't want work...I finally started enjoying varsity life again this year and I'm trying to make up for it. Have you ever spoken truthfully to your friends about work? You'll soon find out it's not something to look forward to. For me a 9-5 is something I don't look forward to.

A tip about your studies...you passed maths and computer science but failed programming, I'd say switch your information systems degree for a full on computer science & maths degree. Go to your factuality ASAP and find out what can be done. I also understand the age factor plays tricks on you...I think "we" are programmed to get our life in order as soon we get out of school...ie finish your degree at a certain, start working etc. This doesn't always turn out the way you'll plan it. I personally had a lot of goals to accomplish which got halted because of my studies. But I realise now that I'm still young, with no wife or kids, I should really just try focus on me and you should do the same.

[Pavan]

I think computer science includes a lot of programming as well - and a far more intricate level of programming as opposed to the object-oriented and db based stuff you'd do in an IS/IT degree. Can any compsci grads confirm or reject this?

[Pavan]

and yeah - fully agree with tsume regarding work. when you're on campus, you can't wait to leave and start work. When you start work, you realise how great campus life was.

[MartinMorrison]

I think computer science includes a lot of programming as well - and a far more intricate level of programming as opposed to the object-oriented and db based stuff you'd do in an IS/IT degree. Can any compsci grads confirm or reject this?

Yes, the programming in a Computer Science degree would be harder. For example, the IT degrees usually start off with some visual basic, in comp. sci. you'll be doing Java or Python in first year. In second year you'll be doing C and Assembly which will be hard if you struggled with Java or VB. Source: Studied comp sci at 3 unis.

[nfbs]

Why does it take 2 full years for you to realise you are not in the wrong degree but in fact in the wrong faculty thus having to start from scratch?
and when you say you want to go overseas it sound like you want to take a gap year wanting to figure what to do with your life.

If you lose your passion at 21 then you are going to run into problems.