Age Difference and Dating

[Edwe]

It is not often that I post something like this (something emotional or in any way meaningful), but I have been thinking a lot about this recently.

What do you think is a "healthy" age difference between two younger people who are dating? More specifically, if the male partner is 19 (for example), what would be an acceptable age range for the female partner?

I would appreciate a poll on this, if at all possible. Thanks. ;)

[Telkomisaloser]

I say about 17 - 23 years old and I suppose the "healthy" age difference widens within age

[nGAGEd55]

I say about 17 - 23 years old and I suppose the "healthy" age difference widens within age
totally off topic, this is wierd, but this post by tial just doesnt seem like his normal type of post, sorta has this strange air of wisdom... wierd

on topic, what he said ^^^

[Edwe]

totally off topic, this is wierd, but this post by tial just doesnt seem like his normal type of post, sorta has this strange air of wisdom... wierd

on topic, what he said ^^^

I know. What's your take on his opinion, though?

[kiepie]

I say about 17 - 23 years old and I suppose the "healthy" age difference widens within age

Would tend to agree.

[Debbie]

More specifically, if the male partner is 19 (for example), what would be an acceptable age range for the female partner?

imo 16-24. Not younger than 16; and if she's older than 24 then it starts to sound a little freudian.

[nGAGEd55]

I know. What's your take on his opinion, though?
i'd say i agree with him (thus the "what he said ^^^" :p)

cant really think of anything else to add to what he said...


if she's older than 24 then it starts to sound a little freudian.
kentucky freud chicken, motherf**kin good :p

(sorry, random thought)

[Telkomisaloser]

lol thats so ironic that everyone is agreeing to my thoughts of wisedom

[Xarog]

I would say that the psychological age is the defining factor. If the girl was psychologically mature, then 12 wouldn't be out of the question, but that said, today there are very few twelve year olds that would be old enough (certainly within the western world at least).

[justinct]

^^ Peter please fetch me the file

[Ekhaatvensters]

Ja, 15-16, but you'll find worse going on...

I mean 15-16 as the minimum range btw.. Older doesn't really matter... except when its too old, but thats not nearly as bad, and more importantly not nearly as illegal.

oh and lololol peterfile.. yes yes 12 would be a bit young.

[nGAGEd55]

Would tent to agree.
havent 'tented' with someone before... sounds painful :p

[Edwe]

EDIT: Post removed

[nGAGEd55]

Okay, I'm feeling kind of guilty, because I've started dating someone who is 15 (I'm 19 at the moment). I can sense people feel this is inappropriate... but somehow she feels more mature than me in many aspects.
that's a tough one... i'm 17 and went out with someone who was also 15, and i felt kinda bad...

what does her parents say? :rolleyes:

[Hellraiser]

I'd say typically 14-21.

[Ekhaatvensters]

17 and 15 isn't a problem...

15 and 19... hmm, its a close one. it doesn't sound like theres a problem though.

[Xarog]

Okay, I'm feeling kind of guilty, because I've started dating someone who is 15 (I'm 19 at the moment). I can sense people feel this is inappropriate... but somehow she feels more mature than me in many repects.

EDIT: corrected my malapropism
As long as you're faithful to each other and niether is taking advantage of the other (and that means, in your case, knowing when she's not old enough to understand what 'yes' means.), then I think other people can shove a broom up their rear and fly off to whatever place suits them. :)

[Edwe]

EDIT: Post removed

[Debbie]

Okay, I'm feeling kind of guilty, because I've started dating someone who is 15 (I'm 19 at the moment). I can sense people feel this is inappropriate... but somehow she feels more mature than me in many repects.

Edwe - if you care for it - don't date her if her parents ask you not to. In the absence of any direction from her parents, date her if you like her. It is a bit young but if you say she's mature then other people will recognise that and not think you dating her is so dodge.

[bwana]

Whats the age of consent in SA? 16?

[Highflyer_GP]

Okay, I'm feeling kind of guilty, because I've started dating someone who is 15 (I'm 19 at the moment). I can sense people feel this is inappropriate... but somehow she feels more mature than me in many repects.

EDIT: corrected my malapropism
Don't think that's too weird, look at it this way - in two years she's going to be 17 and you 21, which starts looking a lot less nasty. I guess age is just a psychological barrier set by one's peers every generation. As mentioned above if she's psychologically mature for a relationship then there shouldn't be an issue. Off course since you're elder, that means knowing when she's ready for more serious issues or not. Basically you're there to guide her, not take advantage. If you don't mind doing that for the next few years then I really don't see a problem with anything.

Yikes come to think about it I just recently got involved with someone 5 years younger (I'm 24). If I were your age then she would have been 14 :eek:

I would say don't look too much into it because your age only moves in one direction. Would be much worse if she was born old and grew younger each year :D

[4cer]

well all i know is at high school if your in matric and you date a grade 8 or 9 you are like looked down on ... but depends.. i would date a 15 year old being 18,... but never 14..

i rate for 19.. try keep to the 16 abd up category :)

[Ekhaatvensters]

Whats the age of consent in SA? 16?

Unfortunately for Edwe I think so.

Also hopefully not a problem :)

[Shake&Bake]

Whats the age of consent in SA? 16?


Unfortunately for Edwe I think so.

Also hopefully not a problem :)

Well his not saying if they're intimate. So hopefully the question is not relevant. Does seem a bit young, but then screw age. If you're having a genuine relationship it would be ok in my books. You'll have a tough time with her parents I suspect. Cos any 19yr old would be looking to drop panties in their opinion I suspect. Her dad could vouch for that cos he like any man, had his hormones rushing at that age :p Just play it easy man and treat each other with respect and it'd be cool!

All that being said 15 and 19 IMO is a bit young for serious relationships, but then we're drifting along lines of philosophical debate :p (which I don't mess with man :D )

[Edwe]

Well his not saying if they're intimate. So hopefully the question is not relevant.

We are not "intimate" in the sense you are thinking and, as conservative (read "old-fashioned") as it may seem, I still feel that sex and sexual activity is something to be shared after marriage. Therefore the age of consent (which is 16) is not at all relevant.


Does seem a bit young, but then screw age.

I ain't screwing her, so yes, screw age. :p


If you're having a genuine relationship it would be ok in my books. You'll have a tough time with her parents I suspect. Cos any 19yr old would be looking to drop panties in their opinion I suspect. Her dad could vouch for that cos he like any man, had his hormones rushing at that age :p Just play it easy man and treat each other with respect and it'd be cool!

Desires certainly differ from intentions, as far as I'm concerned. I appreciate that the concern would be reasonable, but at the same time it would be unfounded in my case. After all, my parents, who are very close to me and deeply concerned with my life, have approved of (maybe "accepted" is the correct term) the situation rather easily, as they know me.


All that being said 15 and 19 IMO is a bit young for serious relationships, but then we're drifting along lines of philosophical debate :p (which I don't mess with man :D )

No comment.

Any chance of a poll on this? I want to know what the neighbours will think! :D

[noxibox]

Probably no younger than 13, but that would have to be determined on a case by case basis. There is no fixed age for any particular level of maturity.

No upper age limit.

[noxibox]

Whats the age of consent in SA? 16?
I think the law specifies 12 or younger as automatically considered rape.

[kapovski]

Comment from a mates father when he found out his 17 year old son was dating a 27 year old woman: "Drink it while it's fizzy!"
...hmmmmm.... somehow doesn't seem to work when the guy is 27 and the girl is 17.

[Luke7777]

I still feel that sex and sexual activity is something to be shared after marriage. That's fine, until the wife finds out that you're sharing it :D

[Edwe]

I think the law specifies 12 or younger as automatically considered rape.

No, the age of consent in South Africa is 16 for "straight" relationships and 19 for homosexual ones. Don't ask me why. Only the former applies to my situation, so if my intentions were "dishonourable" (which they are not) I would have to wait a year. Here's a link. (http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm)

Just as an opinion, I think this seems to be the most reasonable law regarding the matter:


In Finland, sex with someone under 16 is not deemed sexual abuse of a child if "there is no great difference in the ages or the mental and physical maturity of the persons involved." Similarly in Norway, a prison sentence may not be imposed "if those who have committed the act of indecency are about equal in age and development." In both countries, lesser punishments may nevertheless be imposed.

[Voldemort]

Well its said that girls are generally 3 years more mature than guys, so go for a girl 3 years younger than you, she'll keep you young:D

Eisch but im 24 now and there are still some std 9 and matric chicks that make my blood boil!:D

[noxibox]

Well its said that girls are generally 3 years more mature than guys
It's said, but it's rubbish.

[Cara]

Well its said that girls are generally 3 years more mature than guys, so go for a girl 3 years younger than you, she'll keep you young:D



Maturity gap lessens with age but not sure when two genders catch up. But if girl is under 16 would approach parents first and let them know, do the honourable thing etc.

[TheBossMan]

Get a girl for each day of the week.. Will keep you young and busy..

[Voldemort]

Maturity gap lessens with age but not sure when two genders catch up. But if girl is under 16 would approach parents first and let them know, do the honourable thing etc.

yeah, i know:p

[dablakmark8]

well my ex was 9 years younger,,damn i am gonna miss that bit#$$#.

[Voldemort]

well my ex was 9 years younger,,damn i am gonna miss that bit#$$#.

lol yeah nice one! oldest chick i ever dated was 35 and i was 21 at the time, she was hot!:D

[Shake&Bake]

well my ex was 9 years younger,,damn i am gonna miss that bit#$$#.

Bwahahahaha :D ROFLMAO nooit man! That was well put!;)

[Shake&Bake]

We are not "intimate" in the sense you are thinking and, as conservative (read "old-fashioned") as it may seem, I still feel that sex and sexual activity is something to be shared after marriage. Therefore the age of consent (which is 16) is not at all relevant.



I ain't screwing her, so yes, screw age. :p



Desires certainly differ from intentions, as far as I'm concerned. I appreciate that the concern would be reasonable, but at the same time it would be unfounded in my case. After all, my parents, who are very close to me and deeply concerned with my life, have approved of (maybe "accepted" is the correct term) the situation rather easily, as they know me.



No comment.

Any chance of a poll on this? I want to know what the neighbours will think! :D

Damn I feel like I've been post-raped! :D Tore my post apart bru! Your head(s) seem to be in the right place and space. :D So go well my man. Good luck with when you break it to her parents (if you do anyway.)

PS! Smaak your sig. lol

[SuperAntMD]

Ive always liked to play by the half guys age plus 7. This allows for the difference between real age and maturity for age.

Thus if you're 19 she should be 16.5, but when you 40 she only has to be 27.
Its not unheard of to play half plus 6, in which case you're ok.

[Edwe]

EDIT: Post Removed

[Shake&Bake]

Haha. She's finally told her mother, who initially freaked and then calmed down and asked to meet me.

Thanks for all the advice and I'm glad somebody appreciates my sig - makes up for all the people I must have offended. :D

The calm before the storm boeta! :p Good luck...seriously :D

[tian.]

the moms are usually allright and understanding, it's her dad you should be worried about...

Think of it this way, what would your honest reaction be if your 15 year old daughter is dating some 19 year old guy who's in university... :rolleyes: