This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a
bad day at work...think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana .
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
E-mail he sent to his sister.
She then sent it to a radio station in Ft.Wayne, Indiana , who was
sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling
down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to
make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what
happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea I wear a suit to
the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite
cool... So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered
industrial 'water heater'; this $20,000 piece of equipment sucks water
out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps
it down to the diver through a hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the
hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole
suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was
going well until all of a sudden, my ass started to itch. So, of
course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out
from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
happened. The machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my ass was not as
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding
the jellyfish into the crack of my ass. I informed the dive supervisor
of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due
to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry
decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing
but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with
tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and
told me to rub it on my ass as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because
my ass was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt