Facebook   Twitter    YouTube    RSS Feed    Android App    iPhone and iPad App     BlackBerry App    
Subscribe to Newsletter



Page 1 of 6 1 2345 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 86

Thread: Why can some people not forgive?

  1. #1
    Super Grandmaster blunomore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Sandton, JHB
    Posts
    25,261

    Default Why can some people not forgive?

    What do you think is the reason that some people will seemingly hold a grudge forever?

    I had to learn the hard way that, for as long as you have negative feelings (anger, vengefulness, bitterness, hatred) against someone, they have the power over you. You become their slave, for they can enter your mind freely and cause these 'bad' feelings.

    Some people seem to forgive at the drop of a hat and others bide their time, fantasising about revenge.
    Quote Originally Posted by jingaling View Post
    Blu, you're a genius.

  2. #2
    Super Grandmaster Ou grote's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Where you live
    Posts
    15,474

    Default

    This have anything to do with a wedding?

  3. #3

    Default

    Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die!

  4. #4

    Default

    I never forgive nor do I forget. I will not mention it again, but it is stored as future ammo. I never forgive, ever.
    I have signed up with Bitco and it's by far the best internet I have ever had. Get a quote

  5. #5
    Super Grandmaster supersunbird's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Garsfontein, Pretoria
    Posts
    19,029

    Default

    Mostly because the person why must be forgiven won't say sorry.
    Boycott MWEB
    1. Leave MWeb! They WILL throttle your 1Mbps line to death as soon you download over 100GB
    2. Cancellation form

  6. #6
    Grandmaster
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,215

    Default

    I know it's very sad... My X has that against me, and he was the reason why we broke up,he cheated... I forgave him a long time ago, but he can't forgive me for what I did after I found out

    I also have this friend, we were very close at a time, until I made friends with his X and he stopped talking to me completely. It's been over a year now... nothing... it's a shame...

  7. #7
    Super Grandmaster blunomore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Sandton, JHB
    Posts
    25,261

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by alf101 View Post
    This have anything to do with a wedding?
    Hey alf, I am a Leo, but not EVERYTHING is about me

    I forgave someone in my life for certain things - that is what I refer to in the above post. But I was actually speculating in general about people that cannot forgive ...
    Quote Originally Posted by jingaling View Post
    Blu, you're a genius.

  8. #8
    Resident DJ DJ...'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Joziburg. Home Of Broadband Sloth Racing...
    Posts
    64,840
    Blog Entries
    4

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Pitbull View Post
    I never forgive nor do I forget. I will not mention it again, but it is stored as future ammo. I never forgive, ever.
    Any reasons for this irrational behaviour?

    Quote Originally Posted by blunomore View Post
    Hey alf, I am a Leo, but not EVERYTHING is about me
    Sure

    Mr Blu not forgiving you again?

    To be honest, I think it is pride more than anything else. I find people that dont forgive or find it difficult are generally people who pride themselves upon the opinions of others, and take disagreements very personally, as opposed to holistically, and forget the point and reasoning from the other person's point of view. They tend to be stuck in a world of their own and are typically self-serving more than anything else.

    I have no issue apologising to others if I am in the wrong, if I am not though, I will always sit down with that person and discuss ways to avoid disagreements moving forward, relating the the topic argued about.
    Internet the way it was meant to be. Launch details will become Crystal Clear very soon...

  9. #9

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by DJK View Post
    Any reasons for this irrational behaviour?
    I have no idea tbh, been like this since I was small. If you have done wrong by me, I will not be caught by the same person twice.

    If a girl cheats on me, it's done and over. I will never forgive her for it. If you run into my car I will never forgive you. And and and.

    Stange but what does forgive do to anyone ? Nothing it's just a state of mind you put yourself in. If you forgive it means you are suppose to forget it completely and move on. I can not do that
    I have signed up with Bitco and it's by far the best internet I have ever had. Get a quote

  10. #10
    Super Grandmaster blunomore's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Sandton, JHB
    Posts
    25,261

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Pitbull View Post
    I have no idea tbh, been like this since I was small. If you have done wrong by me, I will not be caught by the same person twice.

    If a girl cheats on me, it's done and over. I will never forgive her for it. If you run into my car I will never forgive you. And and and.

    Stange but what does forgive do to anyone ? Nothing it's just a state of mind you put yourself in. If you forgive it means you are suppose to forget it completely and move on. I can not do that

    Cannot be good to store those negative feelings. Even if only in your memory. The human subconscious is very powerful ... those feelings will be manifested sooner or later.
    Quote Originally Posted by jingaling View Post
    Blu, you're a genius.

  11. #11

    Default

    I think it depends on how the other person reacts. If they refuse to admit that they were wrong/hurt you/whatever, it can be very difficult to forgive.

    Even if they do acknowledge it, and are terribly sorry, it can be difficult to forgive and let go, even though you know you should.

  12. #12

    Default

    I think it depends on how the other person reacts. If they refuse to admit that they were wrong/hurt you/whatever, it can be very difficult to forgive.

    Even if they do acknowledge it, and are terribly sorry, it can be difficult to forgive and let go, even though you know you should.

  13. #13
    Resident DJ DJ...'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Joziburg. Home Of Broadband Sloth Racing...
    Posts
    64,840
    Blog Entries
    4

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Pitbull View Post
    I have no idea tbh, been like this since I was small. If you have done wrong by me, I will not be caught by the same person twice.

    If a girl cheats on me, it's done and over. I will never forgive her for it. If you run into my car I will never forgive you. And and and.

    Stange but what does forgive do to anyone ? Nothing it's just a state of mind you put yourself in. If you forgive it means you are suppose to forget it completely and move on. I can not do that
    No Pitbull, there is a reason why forgive and forget are not synonyms in any dictionary in the world. They are different things. Forgiving is not merely a state of mind, and forgetting is not a pre-requisite of forgiving. I am sure as a youngster your parents forgave you for numerous mistakes you made. Could you imagine if they held a grudge against every mistake you have ever made? I reckon your relationship would be a little strained.

    The same rule applies to any relationship, platonic or not. Forgiving is not just about you, it is about the other person too, as not everyone feels the same way that you do, and everyone is affected by disagreements and arguments in different ways. A simple acknowledgement that what took place will not have a detrimental affect on your relationship moving forward, is IMO what forgiving is all about, but I too do not forget the incident.
    Internet the way it was meant to be. Launch details will become Crystal Clear very soon...

  14. #14

    Default

    I honestly don't think any human in this world can forgive in the true sense of the word

    To forgive it means you close the book and wipe the memory from you head. I have seen people who said the forgive someone for something, just to have that same thing brought up again later on in life.

    I think NO ONE is able to forgive ever. Even if you say you do and you try your hardest to forgive... you just can't

    That is just my take on it anyway
    I have signed up with Bitco and it's by far the best internet I have ever had. Get a quote

  15. #15

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by CathJ View Post
    I think it depends on how the other person reacts. If they refuse to admit that they were wrong/hurt you/whatever, it can be very difficult to forgive.

    Even if they do acknowledge it, and are terribly sorry, it can be difficult to forgive and let go, even though you know you should.
    +1

    Quote Originally Posted by CathJ View Post
    I think it depends on how the other person reacts. If they refuse to admit that they were wrong/hurt you/whatever, it can be very difficult to forgive.

    Even if they do acknowledge it, and are terribly sorry, it can be difficult to forgive and let go, even though you know you should.

    er. +1 again

    I don't forgive easily.

    But it does depend on how the other person reacts and how real the apology seems. That said, quite difficuly as some people who are truley sorry may react in a way I where I feel they aren't sorry ... and ... yea ... that's it :/

Page 1 of 6 1 2345 ... LastLast

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •