Facebook   Twitter    YouTube    RSS Feed    Android App    iPhone and iPad App     BlackBerry App    
Subscribe to Newsletter



Page 1 of 3 1 23 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 45

Thread: I just got my ass handed to me by an intruder....

  1. #1

    Default I just got my ass handed to me by an intruder....

    So I get home and after a while notice that the cats are acting strange. I immediately run to the TV stand where I keep a loaded gun in case this happens again; it has happened before. I run to the bedroom to investigate - and out jumps the biggest Ginger Tabby I have ever seen.

    He's cornered, but looks like he is going to go after my small one, Stich. I managed to shoot just before he launches and hit him right between the eyes. Unfazed, he spins around and tries to climb the curtain to escape, I rush him blasting away - but he does not stop. I reach him and toss the water pistol aside, realising that it is no match for a monster of this size.

    I grab him behind the head and rip him from my curtain. Realising that I am in danger, or just to cause crap, my big cat, Lilo makes a daring charge at the Tabby in my posession. Unfortunately fighting is not Lilos strong point and he only manages to bite my hand while simultaneous rucking my delicate nether parts with his hind legs.

    Seizing the moment the Tabby capitalizes on my defenseless position, and attacks my not yet bloodied left hand that is trying in vain to secure him. My spirit breaks and I turn to flee. The small cat, sensing a crushing defeat, has the same idea.

    Me and my fleeing housemate meet at the door and I just manage to avoid a collision. Unfortunately, I stand on her tail; unleashing the killer within. She sinks her claws into my flesh and tries to climb my leg, realizing the success her brother is having at battering my now tender testicles, and wanting to help....

    Luckily the cats were momentarily distracted by a passing guard who heard my screams and came knocking on my door to see if I was OK, thus buying me enough time to escape....
    Last edited by Conradl; 04-08-2009 at 05:35 PM.

  2. #2
    Super Grandmaster
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Cape Town
    Posts
    8,518

    Default

    LOL

  3. #3
    Grandmaster Scooby_Doo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    In a Box, Next to a tree.
    Posts
    4,589

    Default

    k... what else is on tv
    =====
    If trees could scream would we be so cavalier about cutting them down. What if they screamed all the time for no reason?
    =====

  4. #4
    Super Grandmaster
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Pretoria East, Erasmuskloof
    Posts
    5,405

    Default

    +100000

    Wel put dude!
    Everyone's first vi session. ^C^C^X^X^X^XquitqQ!qdammit[esc]qwertyuiopasdfghjkl;:xwhat

  5. #5

    Default

    lol
    Parcel Tracking >>> www.ParcelTrack.co.za
    Need a USA Address for online shopping? http://www.parceltrack.co.za/shipito
    Accounting Services http://irp5.co.za/

  6. #6
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Joburg
    Posts
    1,451

    Default

    wtf??

  7. #7
    ...doesn't know
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Johannesburg (Northcliff)
    Posts
    9,287

    Default

    lol, that was quite a nice lil story .

    I've also got this monster ginger tabby cat wrenching havoc at my home
    I'm new here...

  8. #8

    Default

    I want some of what you're smoking...
    I once dated a girl who lisped, she wanted to watch Faith Like Potatoes. 20 minutes in it dawned that we weren't watching a movie about the Elephant Man...

  9. #9
    Super Grandmaster BCO's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Jhb
    Posts
    12,375

    Default

    Best. Thread. Ever.

  10. #10
    Hobbit Peder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Pretoria South Africa
    Posts
    8,800
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default

    LOL!!!! ouch but damn that was funny!!!
    www.houseofmyglory.com
    I only use Ozone Friendly Language

  11. #11

    Default

    You shot at a cat?
    "For me there are only two type of women: goddesses and doormats" Pablo Picasso

  12. #12

  13. #13
    Grandmaster EchoZA's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Johannesburg
    Posts
    3,838
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default

    Been there, done that... and have the scars too show

  14. #14
    SmoothOokerMaximus The_Librarian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Gormenghast
    Posts
    88,270
    Blog Entries
    19

    Default

    mod note : stickied for world+dog's enjoyment (for a week)

    excellent!!!
    Christ-mass is NOT for Christians. Jeremiah 10.
    Is the 10 Commandments for Christians?

    Saturday is the Seventh day, Sunday is the first day.

  15. #15
    Super Grandmaster Keeper's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    /\/ŻŻŻŻŻŻ\/\
    Posts
    23,047

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BCO View Post
    Best. Thread. Ever.

Page 1 of 3 1 23 LastLast

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •