I just got my ass handed to me by an intruder....
So I get home and after a while notice that the cats are acting strange. I immediately run to the TV stand where I keep a loaded gun in case this happens again; it has happened before. I run to the bedroom to investigate - and out jumps the biggest Ginger Tabby I have ever seen.
He's cornered, but looks like he is going to go after my small one, Stich. I managed to shoot just before he launches and hit him right between the eyes. Unfazed, he spins around and tries to climb the curtain to escape, I rush him blasting away - but he does not stop. I reach him and toss the water pistol aside, realising that it is no match for a monster of this size.
I grab him behind the head and rip him from my curtain. Realising that I am in danger, or just to cause crap, my big cat, Lilo makes a daring charge at the Tabby in my posession. Unfortunately fighting is not Lilos strong point and he only manages to bite my hand while simultaneous rucking my delicate nether parts with his hind legs.
Seizing the moment the Tabby capitalizes on my defenseless position, and attacks my not yet bloodied left hand that is trying in vain to secure him. My spirit breaks and I turn to flee. The small cat, sensing a crushing defeat, has the same idea.
Me and my fleeing housemate meet at the door and I just manage to avoid a collision. Unfortunately, I stand on her tail; unleashing the killer within. She sinks her claws into my flesh and tries to climb my leg, realizing the success her brother is having at battering my now tender testicles, and wanting to help....
Luckily the cats were momentarily distracted by a passing guard who heard my screams and came knocking on my door to see if I was OK, thus buying me enough time to escape....
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Originally Posted by BCO
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