Why must I be in debt before they're willing to give me a phone contract?

[UnUnOctium]

Update for anyone curious:

Still trying to get a credit record...

After the debacle with Cell C refusing to open a contract with me, I decided to open an account with stuttafords in order to get a credit record. Applied for an account with Stuttafords the week after, had to repeatedly phone for 4 days until they told me "your application has been denied, you don't have any other accounts or a credit record". Excellent... ****tards.

I then decided "wait, maybe I've been an identity fraud victim without me knowing!". Logged onto experian, got the whole free credit check. Everything was literally "0", no accounts, no debt, nothing. Only 1 previous credit record check. Excellent again...

So, being the perseverent person that I am, I decided to open a credit card with Virgin Money. Applied, approved, no word from them ever since. Have been promised phone calls after following up for weeks. Nothing. Excellent... dickwads.

Now this gets only better. Decided, "screw this, going to get a Standard Bank credit card, they seem to like my financial situation". Applied, approved. Guy phones me on a Saturday 3-4 weeks ago telling me my limit and that my card will indeed be sent to a branch of my request, 'great stuff dude'. Phone 1 week later to ask where it is, "was sent to your original branch, wait 1 more week to get to the branch of your choice". I guess you can't blame the retarded for being stupid. A week later, kept phoning several times and was told to wait 1 more week by all of them. And then we get to...

Today: Phone Standard Bank, get told that my card has been shredded. Naturally, as any human does, I ask "wtf?". Apparently, I have to get FICA'd for my credit card account in order to be able to get my credit card. I then ask why I have a credit card statement already sent to my email. Radio silence. I call a different tard on the same line, ask the same questions (by this point, I've learnt the hard way that the answer from a call centre monkey is not determinate and that is in itself a stochastic process) and to my surprise card's not been shredded but is in my main branch, awaiting for me to FICA.

I then ask why do I need to FICA when I already have 2 fully FICA'd accounts open with them. "You just have to, it's the law". So, having learnt their weakness i.e. inability to think, I ask what documentation I need to FICA. I get told any account/statement with your address on it, the usual crap. I then ask, "what about a credit card statement?", "Sure!" she replies. I then aim precisely with the punch as she fell into my trap, "so then I can use the credit card statement you sent me for exactly THIS card which I'm trying to FICA?"... "errr, yes". From then on, all sorts of reference numbers were requested for this call.

This leaves me with...

Tomorrow: Off to Standard Bank to try and FICA myself for a credit card with the credit card's account statement. If you guys hear of a black hole forming in a standard bank employee's head due to a logic circularity... my bad.

Rant over, I should write a book about this.

[AnimateX]

ROFL, this I got to see.

Bonus points if you can actually get Standard Bank to *explain* the logic behind that one

[ginggs]

LOL! You have Schrödinger's credit card. It is simultaneously shredded and not shredded. Tomorrow when you get to the bank they will open a box and only then will your card be in a state of being shredded or not shredded.

[alf101]

Tried to get a contract (activechat 200/400 special by Cell C on the Galaxy S 2) today and to my surprise, I'm not allowed to get one. Turns out that because I'm not in any debt, I don't have a credit record and hence I'm not allowed to get a contract. I think cool, crazy/stupid/retarded but understandable. I go to the bank, get an official account statement on one of my accounts showing that I can basically pay the whole contract cash 15 times over on the spot but somehow that's not enough evidence for them.

Staff was helpful and I knew it wasn't her fault as it's hardcoded in their system so I wasn't going to take it out on her. She suggested I open a store account with Edgars or something and pay it off for 3 months before I get back in there.
Thing is, everything I buy, I buy cash/eft.

I'm therefore wondering if anyone can give me a tip/a contact with CellC (I'm really not a fan of paying twice the amount monthly at Vodacom with a R2.5k pay-in) that I can utilise so that a person who actually lives within their means comfortably can get a mobile phone contract?

I'm guessing it's easy to forge an ID book, so the more they have to prove that you're a real person the better.

[UnUnOctium]

Right. Final necro just to share the massive irony.

Current status: Have had contract with Vodacom for 5 months now, everything is going well.

Today, I get a cold call from a Durban land-line number. Turns out it's either CellC or someone reselling CellC. Guess what they're spamming me for?! That's right, "do you want a contract?"

Just closed the phone and didn't waste time on the insignificant fools, they had their chance when I was asking them to take my money.

[Solitude]

That Standard Bank story was awesome. I'm glad you came right and that you got a contract with Vodacom.

[ginggs]

Today, I get a cold call from a Durban land-line number. Turns out it's either CellC or someone reselling CellC. Guess what they're spamming me for?! That's right, "do you want a contract?"

Just closed the phone and didn't waste time on the insignificant fools, they had their chance when I was asking them to take my money.

You missed a good trolling opportunity!

[UnUnOctium]

That Standard Bank story was awesome. I'm glad you came right and that you got a contract with Vodacom.

Thanks.

You missed a good trolling opportunity!

Was at work, didn't want to waste my time with them any more than I already have in the past.

[X-Gamer]

Back in second year, ABSA phoned me,wanting to setup an appointment to sort out my Life Insurance and Medical Aid.... :? lol

UnUnOctium sounds familiar, you wouldn't happen to have been marking DSP scripts at some point?

[UnUnOctium]

Back in second year, ABSA phoned me,wanting to setup an appointment to sort out my Life Insurance and Medical Aid.... :? lol

UnUnOctium sounds familiar, you wouldn't happen to have been marking DSP scripts at some point?

Not marking I was your TA

[X-Gamer]

Awesome! You dont forget an email like **UnUnOctium** ! Unfortunately, that's all I can remember!

But OT: Most of my friends are now telling me to open clothing store accounts and what not. I guess this thread makes the case...I'll have to go tomorrow then... Cant we just pay the provider the entire Contract price once-off? There must be a way to GIVE them the money upfront.

[ginggs]

But OT: Most of my friends are now telling me to open clothing store accounts and what not. I guess this thread makes the case...I'll have to go tomorrow then... Cant we just pay the provider the entire Contract price once-off? There must be a way to GIVE them the money upfront.

You can always do it the other way around, I bought my N9 from Edgars.

[supersunbird]

I recently enquired about the 8ta R199 10Gig promotion.

Being unemployed and unable to provide a payslip and the fact that my last 3 months banks statements show no proof of income, even though the balance shows I could pay the whole 24months up front more than once over.....sorry sir we can't help you....

The fact that I have been paying a Telkom bill without problems for several years, did not help either.
Go figure...

Funny, I had no credit history in my name except 3 years of a telkom account and that certainyl counted and easily got credit, in fact that account does show in my credit record so it does affect it.

[Ecco]

You dont need to be in debt you need a credit record. Taking out a store credit card where you may never ever use the card, will still create a record for you.

Systems sucks though - I have to agree.