CyberMatix
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2004
- Messages
- 405
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After experiencing k@k service from MTN and ever k@kker service from Vodacom, and absolutely hopeless pathetic and unspeakably bad service from Telkom, and Sentech, I thought I would just look at Neotel, just for the h*ll of it. So I go to their website, after all I know how to use this Interweb stuff, so why not? How hard can it be?
So I go to the website, and the first thing that catches my eye on the home page is a big icon that says COVERAGE. Cool I think, it would be nice to know if where I live and work and spend 99% of my life is actually "covered" by the network, so I use the facilities of my mouse thingy and "click" on it. Immediately a small pop-up happens that asks me what I want to order, Prepaid or Postpaid. Mmm, I don't actually want to ORDER anything, I just want to know what the Neotel network coverage is. I don't know exactly what a prepaid or postpaid is, and at this very point in time I don't really care what a prepaid and postpaid is, and I don't particularly feel like having a game of 20-questions right now, all I want to know is what the NETWORK COVERAGE is.
OK so obviously I clicked on the wrong place. My browser has this wonderful feature called BACK, and I used that to get back to the home page. Gotta look somewhere else I muse, so I see this little section at the bottom of the page that says "Internet and Data". I read and it says "high capacity Internet speeds to keep you connected, no matter where you are." OOhh, this sounds nice, I know that I am definitely somewhere, and it sounds like I might qualify for a "no matter where you are" kind of deal, so I "click" very excitedly on the READ MORE button.
I am now presented with a page with some headings, the top one saying Internet, so I start reading with bated breath. I keep on reading until I hit the term "internetfor". Well I have many years of experience in the electronic engineering and IT fields in SA and all over the world, but I must admit, I don't know what an internetfor is. So I have previously found this very cool little site called GOOGEL, where all kinds of interesting stuff is available for anyone to see and read. Googel finds 42,000 pages (in .22 seconds, how cool is that?) referring to internetfors - there is an U-toob channel for internetfors, you can earn money from internetfors, you can build your muscles (for free) using an internetfor and much much more. Well all this is very interesting, and I would happily read all 42,000 pages to find out what an internetfor is, but now I am interested in NETWORK COVERAGE. I figure I can probably survive for a small time more into the future without knowing exactly what an "internetfor" is, so I'll just return to the Neotel website and read a bit more.
I read and read and read, and I see all kinds of very interesting and compelling marketing blurb about Neothis and Neothat, so many Neostuff that it makes my head spin, but nothing obvious about INTERNET COVERAGE. It does seem however that the service is mainly for businesses, and seeing that I work primarily for myself so I can perhaps be seen as a business of sorts, with an employee base of one, namely me. I keep on reading until I hit the technical terms "thatgives" and "youaphone" under the heading "NeoConnect Prime".
OK at this point it is blatantly obvious to me that this stuff is way beyond my level of comprehension, and maybe Neotel doesn't have, and doesn't even need to have a "Network Coverage" thingy. I (obviously mistakenly) thought that I might need some kind of Network Coverage stuff to actually connect to the network, perhaps wirelessly, especially "wherever I am", and I thought that I was actually somewhere (but I might actually just be nowhere), but hey, what do I know?
Oh but wait, after not giving up and keeping on looking (I believe it's called Drowsing), I eventually find this page called "Discover the Footprint". There is even a map (how cool is that?) of South Africa with some interesting lines on it, and town dots. So perhaps I don't net a Network Coverage thing, only a "Footprint" thing. All I need to do is ZOOM in on this map to where I am, and I'll "discover" if I fall inside (maybe underneath) this footprint. OK so where is the Zoom In button. No? No Zoom buttons? A Slider? No? Maybe just doubleclick on the map. No? doubleclick on the nice town dots? No? On the nice lines? No? Oh here is link called "Discover the Footprint". Click it! I get to another page that looks pretty much the same as the previous one. Click again. another one. Click again...
Oh I seeeee, it's a puzzle!!! There are many many of these seemingly identical pages, and obviously only one has Zoom buttons. I love these games! Like Myst, Riven and URU. You just have to find the devilishly cleverly hidden clues and decode them. Great stuff!
OK where is that clue? I'll find you, you dastardly thing you - you cannot escape me. Where are you? Where are you? Where are youuuuuu.....
So I go to the website, and the first thing that catches my eye on the home page is a big icon that says COVERAGE. Cool I think, it would be nice to know if where I live and work and spend 99% of my life is actually "covered" by the network, so I use the facilities of my mouse thingy and "click" on it. Immediately a small pop-up happens that asks me what I want to order, Prepaid or Postpaid. Mmm, I don't actually want to ORDER anything, I just want to know what the Neotel network coverage is. I don't know exactly what a prepaid or postpaid is, and at this very point in time I don't really care what a prepaid and postpaid is, and I don't particularly feel like having a game of 20-questions right now, all I want to know is what the NETWORK COVERAGE is.
OK so obviously I clicked on the wrong place. My browser has this wonderful feature called BACK, and I used that to get back to the home page. Gotta look somewhere else I muse, so I see this little section at the bottom of the page that says "Internet and Data". I read and it says "high capacity Internet speeds to keep you connected, no matter where you are." OOhh, this sounds nice, I know that I am definitely somewhere, and it sounds like I might qualify for a "no matter where you are" kind of deal, so I "click" very excitedly on the READ MORE button.
I am now presented with a page with some headings, the top one saying Internet, so I start reading with bated breath. I keep on reading until I hit the term "internetfor". Well I have many years of experience in the electronic engineering and IT fields in SA and all over the world, but I must admit, I don't know what an internetfor is. So I have previously found this very cool little site called GOOGEL, where all kinds of interesting stuff is available for anyone to see and read. Googel finds 42,000 pages (in .22 seconds, how cool is that?) referring to internetfors - there is an U-toob channel for internetfors, you can earn money from internetfors, you can build your muscles (for free) using an internetfor and much much more. Well all this is very interesting, and I would happily read all 42,000 pages to find out what an internetfor is, but now I am interested in NETWORK COVERAGE. I figure I can probably survive for a small time more into the future without knowing exactly what an "internetfor" is, so I'll just return to the Neotel website and read a bit more.
I read and read and read, and I see all kinds of very interesting and compelling marketing blurb about Neothis and Neothat, so many Neostuff that it makes my head spin, but nothing obvious about INTERNET COVERAGE. It does seem however that the service is mainly for businesses, and seeing that I work primarily for myself so I can perhaps be seen as a business of sorts, with an employee base of one, namely me. I keep on reading until I hit the technical terms "thatgives" and "youaphone" under the heading "NeoConnect Prime".
OK at this point it is blatantly obvious to me that this stuff is way beyond my level of comprehension, and maybe Neotel doesn't have, and doesn't even need to have a "Network Coverage" thingy. I (obviously mistakenly) thought that I might need some kind of Network Coverage stuff to actually connect to the network, perhaps wirelessly, especially "wherever I am", and I thought that I was actually somewhere (but I might actually just be nowhere), but hey, what do I know?
Oh but wait, after not giving up and keeping on looking (I believe it's called Drowsing), I eventually find this page called "Discover the Footprint". There is even a map (how cool is that?) of South Africa with some interesting lines on it, and town dots. So perhaps I don't net a Network Coverage thing, only a "Footprint" thing. All I need to do is ZOOM in on this map to where I am, and I'll "discover" if I fall inside (maybe underneath) this footprint. OK so where is the Zoom In button. No? No Zoom buttons? A Slider? No? Maybe just doubleclick on the map. No? doubleclick on the nice town dots? No? On the nice lines? No? Oh here is link called "Discover the Footprint". Click it! I get to another page that looks pretty much the same as the previous one. Click again. another one. Click again...
Oh I seeeee, it's a puzzle!!! There are many many of these seemingly identical pages, and obviously only one has Zoom buttons. I love these games! Like Myst, Riven and URU. You just have to find the devilishly cleverly hidden clues and decode them. Great stuff!
OK where is that clue? I'll find you, you dastardly thing you - you cannot escape me. Where are you? Where are you? Where are youuuuuu.....
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