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Thread: Restraining Order

  1. #1

    Default Restraining Order

    Do you think that I am going overboard? I need an answer...

    Okay here we go. There is this guy that is telling my gf all sorts of stories that I am cheating on her and all that. He is married to her best friend. So I am going to explain why I think I need an order of protection. First of all, I can't bliksem him, simply because he is a policeman.

    1) He sees me talking to a girl in the parking lot, he tells my gf that I am touching her inappropriately.

    2) He tells my gf that there are girls sleeping over by my place every night.

    3) He tells my gf that I was in the club with my colleagues and that I am cheating on her with one of my colleagues (My colleague has a bf, this guy doesn't even go to clubs but he knows that I was there, so obviously he told one of his friends to keep an eye on me)

    4) I was in an area very far from where he lives, I was in that pub for only 5 minutes (I ***** you not) just to check it out (its an underground pub with Golems and other mystical creatures, i had to take a look for myself), and guess what? for that 5 minutes that I was there, he knew I was there, and yes, he told my gf.

    How he gets hold of this information beats me, I don't even see him, he doesn't go to any clubs, I go to places far away from him, so how the heck can he have all this information???

    What do you think I should do?
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  2. #2

    Default

    first off, are you cheating?

    second off your GF seems to have some reason not to trust you, or she wouldn't be listening to this guy

    and lastly be honest and open

  3. #3

    Default

    Not restraining order material. If he continues to spread malicious lies and it spills into character damage/insult I'd look into opening a case with the police of crimen injuria. The fact that he seems to be following and he's a cop might be grounds for a complaint of harassment.

    Sounds like the cop has a crush on your girlfriend as well as a severe case of little man syndrome.

  4. #4

    Default

    My GF will get swayed by what they are saying because they are her best friends. In almost any relationship, if a girl hears/suspects something, you are going to be questioned about it. Now me and GF already sorted it out, so I understand if she has to overcome the trust issue, given the obstacles that this guy threw in our road. He talks about WHAT HE SEES, but never have he seen me kissing or groping or cheating on my GF. The thing is, his story checks out on what he sees, but not me cheating.

    I used to flirt in the past, and my gf is very jealous, so im not messing it up again, we solid as a rock now again, but with this guy's obsession with me, it can ruin things again.
    i5-4670K|CoolerMaster Nepton 140XL|20GB Kingston Beast Series Ram|Asus Gryphon Z87|AMD Sapphire HD 7950|CoolerMaster Sniper|90GB Kingston SSD

  5. #5

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Cameronsmith63 View Post
    My GF will get swayed by what they are saying because they are her best friends. In almost any relationship, if a girl hears/suspects something, you are going to be questioned about it. Now me and GF already sorted it out, so I understand if she has to overcome the trust issue, given the obstacles that this guy threw in our road. He talks about WHAT HE SEES, but never have he seen me kissing or groping or cheating on my GF. The thing is, his story checks out on what he sees, but not me cheating.

    I used to flirt in the past, and my gf is very jealous, so im not messing it up again, we solid as a rock now again, but with this guy's obsession with me, it can ruin things again.
    well then your GF needs to speak to her friends, imo when you are in a relationships with someone you should be their best friend period.

  6. #6

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Cameronsmith63 View Post
    My GF will get swayed by what they are saying because they are her best friends. In almost any relationship, if a girl hears/suspects something, you are going to be questioned about it. Now me and GF already sorted it out, so I understand if she has to overcome the trust issue, given the obstacles that this guy threw in our road. He talks about WHAT HE SEES, but never have he seen me kissing or groping or cheating on my GF. The thing is, his story checks out on what he sees, but not me cheating.

    I used to flirt in the past, and my gf is very jealous, so im not messing it up again, we solid as a rock now again, but with this guy's obsession with me, it can ruin things again.
    Do you think he knows you are on myBB and maybe even your password?

    Why don't you just confront him in front of your girl?
    If you don't understand the argument well enough that you could switch sides and represent the other team, stop arguing.

  7. #7

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by b_crazy View Post
    Do you think he knows you are on myBB and maybe even your password?

    Why don't you just confront him in front of your girl?
    Cops thrive on confrontation - the op might come out the worse for wear.

    Does SA have anti-stalking legislation?
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  8. #8

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by D3x! View Post
    imo when you are in a relationships with someone you should be their best friend period.
    I totally agree.

    "Do you think he knows you are on myBB and maybe even your password?"

    His not clever enough...He doesn't even know how FB works.
    I don't want to confront him because i know what's going to happen, im going to try to talk then he is going to mess in my mouth and talk loud to try and quiet me down etc...i try to avoid people like that cos it angers me, and when that happens...i can't control it. its a pity his a cop...can't do jack.

    According to wiki, i can have a restraining order against stalkers.

    Should i do it just to spite him back? Or should i leave it?
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  9. #9
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    Default

    Where's the pub?

  10. #10

    Default

    IMHO, time for a new girlfriend. If this prick is one of her best friends, you're always going to have to compete in some way or another. If he's out to make your life hell and she's ok with it, it's an easy choice to make.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Refraction's Avatar
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    Default

    In SA it's called an "interdict" and not a restraining order.

  12. #12

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by unskinnybob View Post
    IMHO, time for a new girlfriend. If this prick is one of her best friends, you're always going to have to compete in some way or another. If he's out to make your life hell and she's ok with it, it's an easy choice to make.
    I have to agree. I was with a girl for 4 years and ended up leaving her because she had made friends with this super creepy couple that had this weird fascination with her. They were also complete and utter f#$@ng *******s.
    I ended realizing that if she was capable in the first place to get attached to people like that there's a deep seated difference between us.
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  13. #13

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    Usually friends and family are part of the bundle, choose wisely.

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  14. #14

    Default

    His not clever enough...He doesn't even know how FB works.Never underestimate a person.
    He evidently already knows what your movements are. If he can do that, surely he can figure out how FB or MyBB works?

    According to wiki, i can have a restraining order against stalkers
    Is that in general, or pertinent to South African law?
    Last edited by pezulu; 07-02-2012 at 10:44 AM.
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  15. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by reactor_sa View Post
    Usually friends and family are part of the bundle, choose wisely.
    Sent from a Galaxy SII far far away via Tapatalk
    Family yes - but I disagree a bit about friends. You don't grow old with your friends. In your 20's sure - bro's before ho's. As you get closer to 30, running with the pack becomes less important. Same thing for a lady with dreams of raising kids etc. In my relationships my friends become hers, hers become mine and we discuss and make a joint decision on how to deal with friend problems. Getting rid of an arbitrary prick in your ecosystem becomes a breeze.

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