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Thread: God vs. Satan - the death toll in the bible

  1. #1

    Default God vs. Satan - the death toll in the bible

    So I always knew that Yahweh killed way more people, and it's popped up here from time to time, but decided to read up a bit to try and get the exact number. Various sites offer slightly different numbers, but they all seem to be in the 2,000,000+ ballpark for God (with an unknown number when entire cities were destroyed, and the whole world during Noah's time) and 10 for Satan. So I decided to post the one with the most descriptive references. So here goes.

    The murders where the number killed is mentioned in the Bible are listed by count, and the murders where the number killed is not given are listed with a "?".

    Killed by God

    ? -- Drowned everyone in the whole world except for Noah and his family (Genesis 7)
    1 -- Saltified Lot's wife (Genesis 19:26)
    ? -- Burned all of the people of Sodom and Gomorrah (except for "good" Lot who offered his virgin daughters to a mob of men and then slept with both of them himself later)
    1 -- Slew Er, Judah's firstborn son (Genesis 38:7)
    1 -- Killed Er's brother, Onan because he spilled semen on the ground so as not to conceive offspring for his brother's wife whom he was forced to marry (Genesis 38:9-10)
    ? -- The firstborn in all of Egypt (Exodus 12:29)
    ? -- Drowned the pharoah and all of his gang in the Red Sea (Exodus 14:26-28)
    2 -- Nadab and Abihu for making a fire
    ? -- Burned some Jews for complaining
    ? -- Sent a plague against Jews for being greedy
    11 -- Sent a plague on Jews who gave the chosen land a bad report
    ? -- Korah and other Jews who didn't like Moses
    ? -- The Lord causes the earth to open and swallow up the men and their families because they had been rebellious (Numbers 16:27-33)
    250 -- A fire from the Lord consumes 250 men (Numbers 16:35)
    14,700 -- Sent a plague on Jews apparently for the hell of it (Numbers 16:49)
    ? -- Sent serpents on Jews (Numbers 21:6)
    24,000 -- Plague killed Jews who followed Baal (Numbers 25:9)
    50,070 -- Jews who looked in the ark of the covenant (1 Samuel 6:19)
    1 -- Nabal for scorning David
    1 -- Uzzah for touching the ark when trying to keep it from falling
    1 -- David and Bathsheba's child
    70,000 -- Sent a pestilence because David sinned (2 Samuel 24:15)
    51 -- Fire from heaven consumes the prophets of Baal (2 Kings 1:10-12)
    102 -- Sent fire down on Ahaziah's men
    42 -- Sent bears to kill children who mocked Elisha (2 Kings 2:23-24)
    ? -- Sent lions to kill invaders
    185,000 -- Assyrians (2 Kings 19:35)
    80,000 -- Lots of bad Israelites
    ___________________________________________
    399,933 + ? -- Total killed by God



    Killed on God's orders by his followers

    ? -- Jacob's sons killed every man in Shechem
    3,000 -- Jews worshipping the golden calf (Exodus 32:27-29)
    1 -- Man gathering wood on the Sabbath Day (Numbers 15:32-36)
    ? -- Canaan (Numbers 21:3)
    ? -- The Lord commands Moses to kill the people and expose them in broad daylight so that the Lord's anger may be turned away from Israel (Numbers 25:4)
    ? -- Took the city of Heshbon from the Amorites
    ? -- All of the people of Bashan
    ? -- All Midianites except for the virgin girls (Numbers 31:17-18)
    ? -- The Israelites destroy the men, women, and children of Sihon leaving no survivors after the Lord gave them over to them (Deuteronomy 2:33-34)
    ? -- The Israelites destroy the men, women, and children of Og after the Lord gave them over to them (Deuteronomy 3:6)
    ? -- Everyone in Jericho but Rahab, a hooker who betrayed her city (Joshua 6:21-27)
    ? -- Achan and his family (who had nothing to do with it) for stealing (Joshua 7:19-26)
    12,000 -- Joshua utterly smites the people of Ai with the God's approval (Joshua 8:22-25)
    ? -- Everyone in the cities of Ai, Amalek, Makkedah, Libnath, Lachish, Egnolites, Jarmuth, Geder, Hebronites, Debirites, Hormah, Arad, Addellam, Bethel, Tappuah, Hepher, Apheh, Lasheron, Madon, Tasnach, Megiddo, Kedesh, Jokneam, Dor, Goiim, Terzah, Gibeonites and all of the Amorites.
    10,000 -- Canaanites of Bezek (Judges 1:4)
    10,000 -- The Israelites kill the Moabites with the help of the Lord (Judges 3:29)
    ? -- The people of Jerusalem, Sheshai, Ahiman, and Talmai
    ? -- The people of Zephath, Gaza, Ashkelon, Ekron, and the king of Moab, Eglon.
    ? -- The army of Sisera and the men of Karkor
    ? -- Jephthah destroyed 20 cities
    30 -- The Spirit of the Lord comes Samson and causes him to slay thirty men (Judges 14:19)
    1000 -- Under the Spirit of the Lord, Samson slays 1000 men with the jawbone of an ass (Judges 15:15)
    3000 -- Samson, with the help of the Lord, pulls down the pillars of the Philistine house and causes his own death and that of 3000 other men and women (Judges 16: 27-30)
    50,100 -- The men of the tribe of Benjamin (Judges 20:35, 43-48)
    ? -- The tribe of Jabesh-gilead
    ? -- The Ammonites, the Philistines and the Amelekites
    331,269 -- David killed a whole bunch of people
    3 -- Solomon killed a few people too
    ? -- All of Jeroboam's extended family
    ? -- All of Baasha's extended family
    450 -- Prophets of Baal
    793,000 -- All Jewish Baal-followers
    127,000 -- Arameans slain by the Israelites with the help of the Lord (1 Kings 20:28-30)
    1 -- Man who wouldn't strike a prophet
    ? -- Moabites
    172 -- Jezebel, Ahab's sons, Joram, their priests, and their friends
    142 -- Ahaziah's relatives
    ? -- The sacrifice of the firstborn of Israel so that the Lord might horrify them.
    ? -- All of Baal's followers
    1 -- Athaliah for killing sons
    1 -- Mattan the Baal priest
    10,002 -- Edomites and two servents
    ? -- All of the pregnant women in Tirzah
    20,000 -- Hezekiah killed a bunch of people
    500,000 -- Israelites killed each other
    50,000 -- Ethiopians
    23,000 -- Seerites
    510 -- Haman's army
    75,300 -- More of the army
    ___________________________________________
    2,017,956 + ? -- Total killed by God's followers under his orders


    Grand Total:
    399,933 Killed by God
    + 2,017,956 Killed by God’s followers
    = 2,417,889 + ? (an unknown amount which probably number into the millions, including the whole world at the time of Noah, and over 60 whole cities)


    Killed by Satan:
    10 -- Satan killed Job's children after God gave him permission to.

    Source
    Another source
    Quote Originally Posted by Nicci View Post
    I am a tool

  2. #2
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    Very interesting, this is all assuming the tales in the bible are non-fictional.
    Every time you make a typo, the errorists win

  3. #3

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    "And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell." - Matt.10:28

    "The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God."

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by MyWorld View Post
    "And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell." - Matt.10:28
    Fear the God of love - yes. No contradictions here.
    He gave you free will to choose! But choose wrong, it's damnation for you! But you still have a choice.


    All hail the god that failed.

  5. #5

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    Lolz, what a great read. I'm cutting and keeping this one for posterity.

    Do you think the big fella got bored with so much carnage? Because he's surebeen a bit quiet this last couple of thousand years.... or maybe he was just correcting a few design faults with humans in those early days of the world and the smiting was necessary? You know, a kind of beta testing to see how they got on.

  6. #6
    King of the Hippies copacetic's Avatar
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    Even if the god of the Christian bible existed, I'd reject such a deity on the obvious basis that god is immoral, and the epitome of evil.

    *edit*

    It's staggering, frankly, how billions of people read the bible and get from it 'peace' and 'love' and all that...
    Behind every dark cloud lies the sun, waiting to boil you alive.
    *girds loins*

  7. #7
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    Mysterious ways.
    -
    Quote Originally Posted by lafrica View Post
    they (criminals ) are just trying to make a living .

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Spizz View Post
    Lolz, what a great read. I'm cutting and keeping this one for posterity.

    Do you think the big fella got bored with so much carnage? Because he's surebeen a bit quiet this last couple of thousand years.... or maybe he was just correcting a few design faults with humans in those early days of the world and the smiting was necessary? You know, a kind of beta testing to see how they got on.
    He's plotting something.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by MyWorld View Post
    "And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell." - Matt.10:28
    How do you think Matthew knew this?

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by unskinnybob View Post
    He's plotting something.
    Most likely sitting with his feet up, large popcorn and a 6 pack, and laughing his head off at his followers doing the killing for him.

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by MyWorld View Post
    "And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell." - Matt.10:28
    Lol what manner of scapegoat-ism is this? So people should just sommer believe the word of somebody who has killed millions and is responsible for near-extinctions?

    Yeah I can imagine a guys like Hitler saying to the Jews "don't worry we're killing you now to save you in the afterlife". Not that Yahweh had a problem killing Jews for sh*ts and giggles btw.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nicci View Post
    I am a tool

  12. #12
    Super Grandmaster Picard's Avatar
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    Come to think of it. God did curse us with mortality, so in effect he has killed all of mankind already and will continue doing so in the time to come.

    What God giveth he can taketh away.
    Last edited by Picard; 02-04-2012 at 04:33 PM.
    Twinkle, twinkle little star
    Wat de donner soek jy daar?

  13. #13

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    God has killed more people than old age, fool
    If you vote, you can't complain. You wanted a Master and you got one.

  14. #14
    King of the Hippies copacetic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Picard View Post
    Come to think of it. God did curse us with mortality, so in effect he has killed all of mankind already and will continue doing so in the time to come.

    What God giveth he can taketh away.
    Why is it that if a parent kills their child, they go to jail, but if god does it, he's praised as the epitome of love?
    Behind every dark cloud lies the sun, waiting to boil you alive.
    *girds loins*

  15. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by copacetic View Post
    Why is it that if a parent kills their child, they go to jail, but if god does it, he's praised as the epitome of love?
    Because this:
    Quote Originally Posted by daveza View Post
    Mysterious ways.
    You can't reason with people who don't want to be reasoned with.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nicci View Post
    I am a tool

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