Yeah, this is a problem that crops up all the time and it does suck - it's getting better though. Quite a few manufacturers are now starting to get onboard with the bigger release people like Cyanogen and making things easier for them. It's not ideal yet but it's kinda getting there. Custom Rom builders are also getting quite nice, I played with a very nice GUI based flasher the other day.
Personally, I feel the opposite is true. Android is so far open that it starts to seem closed. Because you can literally do anything you want (up to and including bricking your phone), it's almost as if there's too much freedom. People like to have a little bit of control, some end that they can't go past. I mean, I've bricked my phone many times (I even had to make my own USB jig to unbrick it which was... not the most pleasant experience of my life) but I knew what I was doing - the average user doesn't.in the end it's hardly any more open TO THE USER than iOS.
I did find the stock roms limiting but at least you could change more than you can on the stock iOS devices. Settings and whatnot. It's just... not enough for me.











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