Dear President Zuma,
Please find below our suggestion for fixing South Africa 's economy.
Instead of giving billions of rands to the government that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan :
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them R2 million each severance for early retirement with the
following stipulations :
1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed.
2) They MUST buy a new car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed.
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed
4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed
5) They MUST buy R100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week.....
And there's your money back in duty/tax etc
It can't get any easier than that!
P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back
their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances
If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.
This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed
and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and
snacks to their cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education