Husband walks in and says: "I've been so busy I don't know if I'm coming or going!"
Wife says: "by the look on your face, you're going...Because when you're coming, you look like a F#cking stroke victim trying to whistle..."
Husband walks in and says: "I've been so busy I don't know if I'm coming or going!"
Wife says: "by the look on your face, you're going...Because when you're coming, you look like a F#cking stroke victim trying to whistle..."
A cucumber, an onion & a penis were talking about life.
Cucumber: "When I get big & hard they chop me up & toss me in a salad."
Onion: "You got it easy mate, when I get big & hard they skin me & drown me in vinegar."
Penis: "Lads, that's nothing compared to what I go thru when I get big & hard, they put a plastic bag over my head, shove me in a small, warm, damp cave & keep banging my head until I throw up & faint
Two lawyers Mr. Chu from China and Mr. Tiya from Taiwan came to India & set up a firm known as:
CHU - TIYA & Co.
Now they have no business & are wondering what went wrong. ( You have to be a charou to get this one.
Sex to be the best you got to be beat the best
What did the girl say to her swimming instructor?
Will I really drown if you take your finger out?
A British Engineer just started his own business in Afghanistan .
He's making land mines that look like prayer mats.
It's doing well.
He says prophets are going through the roof.
Apparently you can email google directly at the following address : gmail@chucknorris.com
Why in a rugby match everything is said in afrikaans but when it comes to the scrum its said in english(touch crouch engage) now in afrikaans (vry buk en druk).
husband frantically calls the hotel management from his hotel room
"Please come fast, my wife and i are having an argument and she says she will jump out the window of your hotel"
the manager responded "sir thats a personal matter"
Husband replied "maadhir, The window wont open, thats a maintenance matter"
Originally Posted by Keeper
Does John Walland from Ballz radio get his jokes from this thread? He told this exact joke this afternoon.
haha dont know whos he but i got it from a BC msg on bbm
MyBB has a stream going to ballz radio
entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem
John seems to have followed his mate Scott around...
Remember them from ECR days...
Yeah, they were together on Jacaranda too.
Going bit off topic but I sometimes wonder if radio stations browse around here for topics and content for their shows.
It's probably just a coincidence but I see stuff discussed on here one day and the next you have a radio station talking about it almost word for word.
I banned DJ...
You banned DJ...
We all banned DJ...
Appraisal Note – Read between the lines
Mr. X, my colleague and neighbor can always be found
hard at work at his desk. He works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Mr. X never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and always
finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks. Mr. X is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that he can be
classed as an asset employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Mr. X be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
executed as soon as possible.
Addendum:
That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report
sent to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd numbered lines.
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