Ever had an extramarital affair?

[gpe]

Ya, I think you really need to have "grown up" to appreciate a relationship.

It's not for everyone and neither is being married.

I think people should have the 'backbone' to leave a partner before screwing around, then again if they are messing around its very unlikely they'll ever get one.

[Robin Hood]

Originally Posted by gpe

Ya, I think you really need to have "grown up" to appreciate a relationship.

It's not for everyone and neither is being married.

I think people should have the 'backbone' to leave a partner before screwing around, then again if they are messing around its very unlikely they'll ever get one.

True...If i have to think back about all the stuff-ups ive made with woman because of my own stupidity....geez

[gdiza]

Originally Posted by Robin Hood

True...If i have to think back about all the stuff-ups ive made with woman because of my own stupidity....geez

Ditto!!!

[Highflyer_GP]

Originally Posted by gpe

I think people should have the 'backbone' to leave a partner before screwing around, then again if they are messing around its very unlikely they'll ever get one.

Why? Because society tells you that you have to be nice? See this is the very thing that is wrong - I don't see why guys are victimised into constantly having to apologise for acting on their natural instincts, and then made to feel guilty and miserable about it. Why do we have to suppress our physical needs, nobody ever asks a woman to suppress her emotional needs.

[Note: In no way should you use this as justification for rape or any violent behaviour. ]

Anyway this isn't an attack on women, I still believe in gender equality. But being the nice guy that society wants you to be will eventually get you burned and hurt. I would say that you have it the other way around - guys who stick it out in a relationship, afraid to leave because of the guilt that has been imposed on them if they do, are the real spineless ones.

Originally Posted by gpe

Ya, I think you really need to have "grown up" to appreciate a relationship.

It's not for everyone and neither is being married.

Indeed marriage isn't for everyone, I agree with you on that. If you have a common understanding then great. However I disagree about it taking a "grown up" to make a relationship work, it's not like guys don't try before they're eventually pushed over the edge.

[TheVirusDoctor]

Originally Posted by Highflyer_GP

Why? Because society tells you that you have to be nice? See this is the very thing that is wrong - I don't see why guys are victimised into constantly having to apologise for acting on their natural instincts, and then made to feel guilty and miserable about it. Why do we have to suppress our physical needs, nobody ever asks a woman to suppress her emotional needs.

[Note: In no way should you use this as justification for rape or any violent behaviour. ]

Anyway this isn't an attack on women, I still believe in gender equality. But being the nice guy that society wants you to be will eventually get you burned and hurt. I would say that you have it the other way around - guys who stick it out in a relationship, afraid to leave because of the guilt that has been imposed on them they do, are the real spineless ones.


Indeed marriage isn't for everyone, I agree with you on that. If you have a common understanding then great. However I disagree about it taking a "grown up" to make a relationship work, it's not like guys don't try before they're eventually pushed over the edge.

Thats the biggest bull**** I've EVER read...

Not once was there a mention of "love"...only instinct?

All "men" who ***** their wives and partners around end up to be very lonely men in the end...

Why not ask a few? I know of 3 in particular (two of which died alone).

I cant stand it when "men" talk about a male's instinct...is it really instinct, or a sick lustful mind?

When a husband and wife get married (when done for the right reasons) its usually done for love.

As a man and engaged for the last 4 years and being a DJ at many parties, seeing hundreds of beautiful women (many of which are interested in me) I can withstand the temptations because I love my fiance...whats your excuse?

Nothing...cuz there isn't one. A cheater is a man who's d*ck is too small to make a solid commitment and stick to it.

enough said here.

[Highflyer_GP]

Originally Posted by TheVirusDoctor

Thats the biggest bull**** I've EVER read...

Not once was there a mention of "love"...only instinct?

All "men" who ***** their wives and partners around end up to be very lonely men in the end...

Why not ask a few? I know of 3 in particular (two of which died alone).

I cant stand it when "men" talk about a male's instinct...is it really instinct, or a sick lustful mind?

When a husband and wife get married (when done for the right reasons) its usually done for love.

As a man and engaged for the last 4 years and being a DJ at many parties, seeing hundreds of beautiful women (many of which are interested in me) I can withstand the temptations because I love my fiance...whats your excuse?

Nothing...cuz there isn't one. A cheater is a man who's d*ck is too small to make a solid commitment and stick to it.

enough said here.

I didn't include love, and for a valid reason. Not everybody falls in love so easily. But if he likes sex, and he enjoys doing it with different women, then why should he be made to feel guilty about it? Call it pathetic or whatever, but you can't force someone to love, and the truth of the matter is that some guys don't necessarily meet women who they fall in love with.

Did you once see me advocating cheating on a wife? Did you even see me advocating cheating on a girlfriend? I even said that marriage isn't for everyone. If you're going to cheat on your wife, then don't get married, it's that simple! But if you enjoy sex, I see absolutely no reason why one should apologise for it. Why do men who enjoy having sex have this horrible stigma attached to them?

The difference between me and you is that I don't judge a person's likes or dislikes. I don't label somebody who willingly refrains from marriage due to personal preference as having a "sick, lustful mind". Not everybody has a perfect relationship record and people who have made an effort to try, but fail, deserve some form of acknowledgement.

Perhaps spend less time "DJ'ing at parties and looking at hundreds of beautiful women", and more time reading work by people like Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung in an attempt to actually try and understand the male and female psyche (feels good to be judged and attacked on that judgement, doesn't it?), before putting a label and generalising. Maybe it would help you understand where a person is coming from, and who knows it may even help you in your future marriage (congrats btw).

[BTTB]

Nope I don't cheat on my wife.

To draw a comparison, an old friend from School Days of similar age has been married twice, had several live in or common law wives and more screws on the side than I can remember.

You want to know the difference between the two of us?

He has had to move house, give up his furniture countless times and been subjected to Divorce Lawyers.
Not saying that it cannot happen to me, but I am certainly not planning on getting a divorce nor wish it.
And the main thing is, my wife and I love each other, have several fixed properties to our name and hopefully a reasonable pension to retire to and our children were brought up in a stable environment with both of us.
At this stage of the game my friend who claims all the sex was worth it is unemployed and the house he lives in belongs to the missus and he cannot see his child every day from a previous relationship as the child lives with it's mother.

[TheVirusDoctor]

Originally Posted by Highflyer_GP

I didn't include love, and for a valid reason. Not everybody falls in love so easily. But if he likes sex, and he enjoys doing it with different women, then why should he be made to feel guilty about it? Call it pathetic or whatever, but you can't force someone to love, and the truth of the matter is that some guys don't necessarily meet women who they fall in love with.

Did you once see me advocating cheating on a wife? Did you even see me advocating cheating on a girlfriend? I even said that marriage isn't for everyone. If you're going to cheat on your wife, then don't get married, it's that simple! But if you enjoy sex, I see absolutely no reason why one should apologise for it. Why do men who enjoy having sex have this horrible stigma attached to them?

The difference between me and you is that I don't judge a person's likes or dislikes. I don't label somebody who willingly refrains from marriage due to personal preference as having a "sick, lustful mind". Not everybody has a perfect relationship record and people who have made an effort to try, but fail, deserve some form of acknowledgement.

Perhaps spend less time "DJ'ing at parties and looking at hundreds of beautiful women", and more time reading work by people like Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung in an attempt to actually try and understand the male and female psyche (feels good to be judged and attacked on that judgement, doesn't it?), before putting a label and generalising. Maybe it would help you understand where a person is coming from, and who knows it may even help you in your future marriage (congrats btw).

That was a much better justification this time round.
Lets put it this way (and no, I'm not forcing religion on anyone) but instead of reading work by people like Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung...try reading the bible on having multiple sexual partners without any sort of commitment.

It's wrong and trying to say its fine to have sex with many women...*sigh*...I give up.

The reality however is that people do have a choice whether or not they choose to be monogamous. Those who don't...well...let's not even go there.

Fact is that those who do mess around and/or have multiple partners, usually end up being alone and depressed later in life. It takes time to build a healthy successful relationship with a partner, having more than one just makes it take all that much longer. In the end, you either die fulfilled or completely miserable and if you're a married man with kids...the kids usually suffer too.

As a man, I do look at other women (I'd be a coward if I sad I didn't) but as for the urges that are supposedly male instinct...thats bull.
The fiance also looks at other guys, everyone does, we don't hide it from each other, hell we even discuss it at times. The difference is that we are happy with each other and care enough about each others feelings not to hurt each other. And as far as I'm concerned...sexual betrayal is one of the worst and most damaging things that can happen to someone.

Just out of curiosity, out of all these women you "real men" who act on the "male instinct" have actually gotten away with a completely "no strings attached" situation where absolutely neither of you have any feelings at all other than sexual attraction?

Usually, either the male or female feels something and often, its more than you want which creates complications at times.

[Londo]

What gets me is all the self righteous pricks who want to lay their monogamous trip on everyone. Conform, conform, conform.... Who wrote the book of rules on how a person should live anyway? There is no right way or wrong way, just your own way.

[Highflyer_GP]

Originally Posted by TheVirusDoctor

That was a much better justification this time round.
Lets put it this way (and no, I'm not forcing religion on anyone) but instead of reading work by people like Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung...try reading the bible on having multiple sexual partners without any sort of commitment.

Sorry I have issues with a 2000 year old take on sexuality, and what's morally right and wrong. This very bible advocates no sex before marriage - have you adhered to that?

Originally Posted by TheVirusDoctor

The reality however is that people do have a choice whether or not they choose to be monogamous. Those who don't...well...let's not even go there.

Agreed they have a choice.

Originally Posted by TheVirusDoctor

Fact is that those who do mess around and/or have multiple partners, usually end up being alone and depressed later in life. It takes time to build a healthy successful relationship with a partner, having more than one just makes it take all that much longer. In the end, you either die fulfilled or completely miserable and if you're a married man with kids...the kids usually suffer too.

Once again that's their choice. Any number of factors could have contributed to their depression - why attribute it specifically to their sexual behaviour? Agreed it takes effort to build a healthy relationship.

Originally Posted by TheVirusDoctor

as for the urges that are supposedly male instinct...thats bull.

Most have it, some don't. No need to call bull based on your personal experience.

Originally Posted by TheVirusDoctor

Just out of curiosity, out of all these women you "real men" who act on the "male instinct" have actually gotten away with a completely "no strings attached" situation where absolutely neither of you have any feelings at all other than sexual attraction?

I'm by no means a player, so I can't comment on that. But I do see error in the way society tries to impose guilt on another person's actions.

Originally Posted by TheVirusDoctor

Usually, either the male or female feels something and often, its more than you want which creates complications at times.

While that may be true, if neither party makes an open commitment, then neither party should be held liable should feelings become involved and somebody ends up hurt. They both went into it knowing full well what it entailed.

Originally Posted by Londo

What gets me is all the self righteous pricks who want to lay their monogamous trip on everyone. Conform, conform, conform.... Who wrote the book of rules on how a person should live anyway? There is no right way or wrong way, just your own way.

Precisely my point. There should be no judgement in how another person chooses to live their life.

[TheVirusDoctor]

Who was passing Judgement?
It was an opinion...lets leave it at that.

Been a nice chat, but I'm sure you'll agree, some topics...and I do mean some...Should best be left alone.

Would appear like this may be one of them.

[Highflyer_GP]

Yup let's call it a difference of opinion, or agree to disagree, or something like that. Cheers

[LoneGunman]

"Its only premarital sex, if you're going to get married"

[JUGGY]

Originally Posted by LoneGunman

"Its only premarital sex, if you're going to get married"

Good quote mate, I don't believe in sex before marriage that's why I only sleep with married woman.

[AutoX]

Originally Posted by JUGGY

Good quote mate, I don't believe in sex before marriage that's why I only sleep with married woman.

Bwhahahaha Bwhahahahaha