continued from 2nd message:
That's the case with you, you might be an agnostic just like other people are but satan knows that you are different from other people. Not only are you sealed to be God's but you also go to church, and that's two things satan hates from people. In satan's eyes you are not a sinner, you are a future Christian. Satan knows that not only is your wife praying for you, but your parents, relatives and church members are as well. Satan is not a fool he knows you are eventually going to be saved like your wife hopes, so he has to come up with a way to stop your salvation. I don't know which way he'll use, but I know which way he used to block my eventual salvation. If it wasn't for those prayers from my grandparents and church people, I know I would have never been saved. The first thing I did when I got saved was give a testimony in my home church and thanked those old women for praying for my salvation.
continued from 1st message:
You know why I didn't want salvation? I didn't want to disappoint God, so I thought it was better to be a sinner than be a compromising Christian. Maybe that's why I appear to be too fundamental, because I saw people trample on the name of Jesus while I saw my grandparents live faithfully for Christ. I promised myself that I'll never cause the name of Christ to be disrepected by sinners because of my compromising life, so it was better to be a sinner than a compromising Christian. But I realised that I was doing more damage to the name of Christ by being a sinner, and even though I was a sinner along with my friends I was always viewed as a worse sinner because of my grandparents who were well-known Christians.
I remember what people in the church used to say when we (me and other church people my age) were still young and wanted nothing to do with salvation, they will say: 'you are sealed by God to be His and it doesn't matter where you end up - you'll still remember that you are different from other unbelievers'. They were right and whenever I was in a club partying with other people, I will always remember that I'm different and God chose me. Even my friends knew I was raised differently from them, and when they wanted to get back to me they will remind me of my Christian upbringing, but it took long for me to realise that God was the One who was reminding me and not my friends. You will never be atheist and I don't believe you are agnostic either, because God has already put His seed in your life and He has sealed you with a seal that will never be wiped away.