A CV and credit check before you start dating.

Natasha H

Expert Member
Joined
Aug 15, 2008
Messages
1,492
in the future, the situation will change to him being the major breadwinner.

My experience of the male ego is that they are too fragile to deal with certain things ;)
I do hope he will become a breadwinner so i can stay home with our kids when we have them.. lol.. Also a bit old fashioned in that way.. At the moment though he gives me a lot more than money, but i do i hope it does change. will admit that :p

That is the hardest for me at the moment or the biggest problem.. To be sensitive to his ego as i know its hard for him not earning his potential.. VERY FRAGILE.. LOL :)
 

kevinswan007

Expert Member
Joined
Dec 23, 2006
Messages
1,860
now men roam aimlessly around, not too sure how to attract the apposite sex.
is it money? is it politeness? is it me shaving my back?
 

kingmonty

Expert Member
Joined
Jul 15, 2005
Messages
4,279
I think the real truth is that most men do not consider the financial aspects in their dating lives as part of the emotional sphere that makes up that relationship. Most men do not consider financial issues to be important in a relationship - especially when the relationship is still only in the dating phase.

Women, on the other hand, are a lot more conscience today of the importance of financial freedom - especially since such freedom is a by-product of women liberalisation all over the world.

Cultural changes in our current society is introducing a new breed of man - one where women work overtime and men are being allowed to be more lazy, be more involved with their kids, have multiple relationships and even in some cases be stay at home dads. And he loves the idea... Similarly, this is also resulting in few people actually moving past the dating phase, with some women actually choosing to be single and retain their independence and financial freedom over the combined stresses (both financial and emotional) often found in relationships.

A recent study in the UK found that British women are getting married much later now in their lives than before in history, and a large (the majority) proportion of these women stated that their independence is the reason. (I will try and dig up the source of this study).

Even in South Africa women are becoming a lot more career focussed, with less and less emphasis on getting married being the end result.
 

Nocturnity

Expert Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2005
Messages
2,005
I see a relationship as a partnership between two people. The person I marry will be as self-sufficient as I am and she will be able to take care of herself. Where I come in is with sharing our time and companionship. I'll be there for her when she's had a rough day and I'll be there to rub her back when she needs it. I'll be a shoulder to cry on and a rock to build on. That does NOT mean I will be her caretaker. Sorry, I believe women gave up that right when they started working.

These days, with women being so independent, it's become harder for men to attract and retain the right partner. They can take care of themselves so you have to bring a lot more to the table than in the old days. Back then, all you needed was a steady income and a place to stay. I like the new way of things. It means people have to connect on a more emotional level.
 

blunomore

Honorary Master
Joined
Jul 8, 2007
Messages
26,789
I see a relationship as a partnership between two people. The person I marry will be as self-sufficient as I am and she will be able to take care of herself. Where I come in is with sharing our time and companionship. I'll be there for her when she's had a rough day and I'll be there to rub her back when she needs it. I'll be a shoulder to cry on and a rock to build on. That does NOT mean I will be her caretaker. Sorry, I believe women gave up that right when they started working.

These days, with women being so independent, it's become harder for men to attract and retain the right partner. They can take care of themselves so you have to bring a lot more to the table than in the old days. Back then, all you needed was a steady income and a place to stay. I like the new way of things. It means people have to connect on a more emotional level.

Good luck with that.

Most men expect women to contribute to the finances AND be a domestic goddess AND a mother. As women, we do on average 3 times the amount of work a man does, if you take into account a job, chores, errands, raising kids, making a home, etc.
 

kingmonty

Expert Member
Joined
Jul 15, 2005
Messages
4,279
Good luck with that.

Most men expect women to contribute to the finances AND be a domestic goddess AND a mother. As women, we do on average 3 times the amount of work a man does, if you take into account a job, chores, errands, raising kids, making a home, etc.
I'm sorry, but that is a lot of nonsense.

Every person that works (irrespective of the job) uses up time and resources to do that job. A man or woman that works a full day's job uses up the same time as a woman that stays at home and doesn't work. I know of many women who are stay at home mothers or "half-day" mothers who try to pass off that they are doing multiple jobs and effectively do more than their husbands. That is nonsense and shows that you are not aware of what "work" actually is. If you are "raising kids" by yourself, then that's due to your own stupidity not to include your husband.

Ever person that is trying to make a living has chores, errands and the responsibility of keeping a household going irrespective of whether they work a full day or a half day - or just stay at home.
 

Debbie

Banned
Joined
Mar 17, 2005
Messages
7,255
That does NOT mean I will be her caretaker. Sorry, I believe women gave up that right when they started working.
wtf? Time for a little bit of a reality check. So when did women really start entering the workplace in Western society? Aha! when the men decided that women were needed in the war effort (1940s).

Good luck with that.

Most men expect women to contribute to the finances AND be a domestic goddess AND a mother. As women, we do on average 3 times the amount of work a man does, if you take into account a job, chores, errands, raising kids, making a home, etc.
Exactly, I agree, about 3 times more work on average.
 

Debbie

Banned
Joined
Mar 17, 2005
Messages
7,255
I'm sorry, but that is a lot of nonsense.

Every person that works (irrespective of the job) uses up time and resources to do that job. A man or woman that works a full day's job uses up the same time as a woman that stays at home and doesn't work. I know of many women who are stay at home mothers or "half-day" mothers who try to pass off that they are doing multiple jobs and effectively do more than their husbands. That is nonsense and shows that you are not aware of what "work" actually is. If you are "raising kids" by yourself, then that's due to your own stupidity not to include your husband.

Ever person that is trying to make a living has chores, errands and the responsibility of keeping a household going irrespective of whether they work a full day or a half day.
....except men tend to come home and as far as they're concerned that's their working day done. Ever heard the adage "a women's work is never done"?
 

Natasha H

Expert Member
Joined
Aug 15, 2008
Messages
1,492
I'm sorry, but that is a lot of nonsense.

stay at home mothers or "half-day" mothers who try to pass off that they are doing multiple jobs and effectively do more than their husbands. That is nonsense and shows that you are not aware of what "work" actually is. If you are "raising kids" by yourself, then that's due to your own stupidity not to include your husband.
i had my friends two kids with me for about 4 hours over the weekend.. I work full time as a project manager and let me tell you raising kids takes much more "work" than working in an office..

You are mistaken in your statement..
 

blunomore

Honorary Master
Joined
Jul 8, 2007
Messages
26,789
I'm sorry, but that is a lot of nonsense.

Every person that works (irrespective of the job) uses up time and resources to do that job. A man or woman that works a full day's job uses up the same time as a woman that stays at home and doesn't work. I know of many women who are stay at home mothers or "half-day" mothers who try to pass off that they are doing multiple jobs and effectively do more than their husbands. That is nonsense and shows that you are not aware of what "work" actually is. If you are "raising kids" by yourself, then that's due to your own stupidity not to include your husband.

Ever person that is trying to make a living has chores, errands and the responsibility of keeping a household going irrespective of whether they work a full day or a half day - or just stay at home.

As punishment, you will no doubt be a woman in your next life :D
 

kingmonty

Expert Member
Joined
Jul 15, 2005
Messages
4,279
...
Exactly, I agree, about 3 times more work on average.
NO! It is not fair to try and pass off that stay at home parents" work harder (or do more work) than their full-time employed counterparts.

Everyone (except the lazy-ass sods who refuse to work) fills their time in some or other way, and depending on the way that time is used results in x reward. So working a 9-5 job results in a 9-5 salary. Spending quality time with the kids results in happier kids. Doing household chores results in functioning households. Etc etc.

If the times that two jobs are being done co-incides, then there is a balance.
 
Last edited:

kingmonty

Expert Member
Joined
Jul 15, 2005
Messages
4,279
As punishment, you will no doubt be a woman in your next life :D
Just because you believe you work harder than me (because you're a woman) doesn't make it so. I work just as hard as my wife. We both share the chores at home 50/50. We both maintain the household. We also offset one "job" that I'm good at with one that she's good at.

You insinuate that you work harder than a man because you have chores and kids. What a cop out.
 

Debbie

Banned
Joined
Mar 17, 2005
Messages
7,255
NO! It is not fair to try and pass off that stay at home parents" work harder (or do more work) than their full-time employed counterparts.

Everyone (except the lazy-ass sods who refuse to work) fills their time in some or other way, and depending on the way that time is used results in x reward. So working a 9-5 job results in a 9-5 salary. Spending quality time with the kids results in happier kids. Doing household chores results in functioning households. Etc etc.

If the times that two jobs are being done co-incides, then there is a balance.
But I'm not saying that stay at home parents do any more or less work... i'm saying that women in partnerships and with kids tend to do much much much more work than their male partners, "work" of course not being confined to a 9-5.
 

blunomore

Honorary Master
Joined
Jul 8, 2007
Messages
26,789
Just because you believe you work harder than me (because you're a woman) doesn't make it so. I work just as hard as my wife. We both share the chores at home 50/50. We both maintain the household. We also offset one "job" that I'm good at with one that she's good at.

You insinuate that you work harder than a man because you have chores and kids. What a cop out.


So ........ you 're one of those control freaks like the guy in the movie "Sleeping with the Enemy!" :D
 

kingmonty

Expert Member
Joined
Jul 15, 2005
Messages
4,279
But I'm not saying that stay at home parents do any more or less work... i'm saying that women in partnerships and with kids tend to do much much much more work than their male partners, "work" of course not being confined to a 9-5.
What work? Please give an example.
 

blunomore

Honorary Master
Joined
Jul 8, 2007
Messages
26,789
But I'm not saying that stay at home parents do any more or less work... i'm saying that women in partnerships and with kids tend to do much much much more work than their male partners, "work" of course not being confined to a 9-5.

Amen, sister.
 

Natasha H

Expert Member
Joined
Aug 15, 2008
Messages
1,492
Just because you believe you work harder than me (because you're a woman) doesn't make it so. I work just as hard as my wife. We both share the chores at home 50/50. We both maintain the household. We also offset one "job" that I'm good at with one that she's good at.

You insinuate that you work harder than a man because you have chores and kids. What a cop out.
i think you insinuated the opposite of woman, not vice versa..

No-one said men dont work hard..
 
Top