A CV and credit check before you start dating.

Debbie

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Just because you believe you work harder than me (because you're a woman) doesn't make it so. I work just as hard as my wife. We both share the chores at home 50/50. We both maintain the household. We also offset one "job" that I'm good at with one that she's good at.
Do you really share the home chores 50/50, or do you just think you do? My observation is that men in general may think that house chores are shared 50/50, but they are not.

How many men can't make a decent dinner for themselves? PLENTY! How many men "can't do washing" because they "don't know how the machine works"? PLENTY. Etc etc. The stereotype of the women being away from home and the man living off take-aways (if darling women has not left him pre-made meals) and making the place filthy is a stereotype for a reason.
 

BT6LW

Senior Member
Joined
Mar 30, 2005
Messages
525
Good luck with that.

Most men expect women to contribute to the finances AND be a domestic goddess AND a mother. As women, we do on average 3 times the amount of work a man does, if you take into account a job, chores, errands, raising kids, making a home, etc.

right....

Women expect a man to be a) smart b) healthy c) good looking d) controlling - but not too much e) brilliant in bed f) loyal g) submissive - but not too much etc... etc... etc... etc...

stop generalising ....

Most men / how many have you had that have expected that from you?
 

kingmonty

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Jul 15, 2005
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i think you insinuated the opposite of woman, not vice versa..

No-one said men dont work hard..
What are you talking about?

Blunomore:
Most men expect women to contribute to the finances AND be a domestic goddess AND a mother. As women, we do on average 3 times the amount of work a man does, if you take into account a job, chores, errands, raising kids, making a home, etc.
That's just plain bull****.
 

Debbie

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What work? Please give an example.
Examples would be "life admin" kind of things that no one wants to do but have to be done - washing dishes, taking out the rubbish, folding the clothes, cleaning out the freezer, mopping the floor, paying the TV licence, scheduling little johnny's dentist appointment, etc etc.
 

blunomore

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Jul 8, 2007
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right....

Women expect a man to be a) smart b) healthy c) good looking d) controlling - but not too much e) brilliant in bed f) loyal g) submissive - but not too much etc... etc... etc... etc...

stop generalising ....

Most men / how many have you had that have expected that from you?

We are discussing work. Focus :D
 

kingmonty

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Do you really share the home chores 50/50, or do you just think you do? My observation is that men in general may think that house chores are shared 50/50, but they are not.

How many men can't make a decent dinner for themselves? PLENTY! How many men "can't do washing" because they "don't know how the machine works"? PLENTY. Etc etc. The stereotype of the women being away from home and the man living off take-aways (if darling women has not left him pre-made meals) and making the place filthy is a stereotype for a reason.
I do. I do all the cooking. I am on laundry duty every other weekend. We alternate every chore in the house. Some things she can't do I do (physical labour in the garden I do, for example), and she does some of the lighter things (light smaller things in the garden, for example).

I also know we're not an exception. Our neighbours are all pretty much the same. My parents were the same. My brothers are the same.

The stereo-type of men living off takeaways is just a stereotype. If that's the kind of men in your life then you should probably get to know more men.
 

BT6LW

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Mar 30, 2005
Messages
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and where exactly is it decreed that woman are the only ones who do life admin?

What about insurance? / retirement savings / policies / investments / medical aid / monthly finance / budget / cheque book balancing / education payment or investment for university /


Sounds much like what a man does outside of his 9-5
 

blunomore

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I do. I do all the cooking. I am on laundry duty every other weekend. We alternate every chore in the house. Some things she can't do I do (physical labour in the garden I do, for example), and she does some of the lighter things (light smaller things in the garden, for example).

I also know we're not an exception. Our neighbours are all pretty much the same. My parents were the same. My brothers are the same.

The stereo-type of men living off takeaways is just a stereotype. If that's the kind of men in your life then you should probably get to know more men.

Ah, life on Wisteria Lane ... :D
 

Debbie

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Mar 17, 2005
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7,255
I do. I do all the cooking. I am on laundry duty every other weekend. We alternate every chore in the house. Some things she can't do I do (physical labour in the garden I do, for example), and she does some of the lighter things (light smaller things in the garden, for example).

I also know we're not an exception. Our neighbours are all pretty much the same. My parents were the same. My brothers are the same.

The stereo-type of men living off takeaways is just a stereotype. If that's the kind of men in your life then you should probably get to know more men.
Kingmonty stop taking this so personally. What you describe in your situation is not the norm!!

Hands up how many +25 single men on this forum still take their washing to their mothers?!
 

Nocturnity

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Erm, you're all generalizing. How's this for a spin: I don't want kids. Now, how does that affect the equation? Suddenly the role of the traditional woman gets blurred a bit, eh?

I cook. I clean. I wash. I iron. I take out the garbage. I work a 10-hour day. (with the GF, I attend her band's gigs almost every weekend, sometimes 2 or 3 a weekend).

It seems you're all just relating your biased opinions due to previous and/or current relationships. Try remove yourself from where you are now and take a holistic view of what I'm saying. Do not judge me on what you perceive men to be.
 

kingmonty

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Examples would be "life admin" kind of things that no one wants to do but have to be done -
... washing dishes, we take turns
... taking out the rubbish, we take turns
... folding the clothes, we take turns
... cleaning out the freezer, shared as well
... mopping the floor, shared too
... paying the TV licence, we determine who is responsible for what bills before hand
... scheduling little johnny's dentist appointment, etc etc. We don't have a little Johnny, but we have a shared calendar we both access and update

My point is, if you're in a partnership then you should behave as such - and do not tolerate if one party doesn't pull his/her weight. Allowing that would mean the partneship is no longer balanced, resulting in other problems and causing a dysfunctional household.
 

Debbie

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and where exactly is it decreed that woman are the only ones who do life admin?

What about insurance? / retirement savings / policies / investments / medical aid / monthly finance / budget / cheque book balancing / education payment or investment for university /


Sounds much like what a man does outside of his 9-5
Tell you what, you tender to the kids' every need 24 hours a day, do the entire family's laundry, feed everyone in the family including the pets twice a day, and in return I'll organise the insurance? Deal? ;)
 

kingmonty

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Kingmonty stop taking this so personally. What you describe in your situation is not the norm!!
How do you know it's not the norm for modern day living? Are you married? Is your situation very different?

I do know some families where they do not share chores, but that is offset by each partner taking responsibility for set chores
Hands up how many +25 single men on this forum still take their washing to their mothers?!
+25 single men are not in partnerships.
 

BT6LW

Senior Member
Joined
Mar 30, 2005
Messages
525
lol @ Debbie -

who on earth said that the woman has to cater to the needs of the kids 24 hours a day all by herself?

who said you have to do the laundry all by yourself?

Or feed the family by yourself?

It sounds more and more like a situation of the woman has kids and the dad simply pays maintenence and a hell of a lot less like a married couple living together with a child or two
 

Nanfeishen

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Apr 8, 2006
Messages
7,236
Not just that you get to a point where you look after yourself and do not need a partner. Then you try the dating thing and it blows so much....
I'm trying to find out if men feel the same.
I'm sure there are a lot of lazy ass woman out there to.
So this is not aimed at men.
Just a general thing i picked up amongst my friends.
Many men IMO, feel the same way.
For me it got to a point where i would not date any woman who wasnt working, didnt drive, and wasnt financially independant, had too many bad experiences, with being saddled with their debt and having to pick them up or take them to work, over my own needs or requirements. And i fell for it time after time.
Eventually decided what i wanted , and wouldnt settle for less, even if it meant being alone or single for a long time.

At the moment am having a good experience and after 4 years just taking it as it comes :D
Neither of us wants children so its a plus, we have 2 dogs that we are responsible for, and i do most of the chores, as i have more free time on my hands than she does.
Cooking mon - fri , me, weekends we share
Grocery shopping me, i am sadly better than her at this
Dishes - share
Laundry mainly her, as i am not allowed near the washing machine :eek:
Bills my house , so my costs, although she pays a set amount every month to me for those and also a set amount every week for groceries.
Dogs hers, although i feed them every night, she every morning
Gardening is her, as i cant grow jack
Char comes once a week for a big clean otherwise we share the smaller stuff.

Life and relationships, as some have pointed out are about sharing, anyone who isnt willing to share, contribute or pull their weight is out the door.
 

adelp

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May 6, 2008
Messages
1,291
Many men IMO, feel the same way.
For me it got to a point where i would not date any woman who wasnt working, didnt drive, and wasnt financially independant, had too many bad experiences, with being saddled with their debt and having to pick them up or take them to work, over my own needs or requirements. And i fell for it time after time.
Eventually decided what i wanted , and wouldnt settle for less, even if it meant being alone or single for a long time.

At the moment am having a good experience and after 4 years just taking it as it comes :D
Neither of us wants children so its a plus, we have 2 dogs that we are responsible for, and i do most of the chores, as i have more free time on my hands than she does.
Cooking mon - fri , me, weekends we share
Grocery shopping me, i am sadly better than her at this
Dishes - share
Laundry mainly her, as i am not allowed near the washing machine :eek:
Bills my house , so my costs, although she pays a set amount every month to me for those and also a set amount every week for groceries.
Dogs hers, although i feed them every night, she every morning
Gardening is her, as i cant grow jack
Char comes once a week for a big clean otherwise we share the smaller stuff.

Life and relationships, as some have pointed out are about sharing, anyone who isnt willing to share, contribute or pull their weight is out the door.
HEll yeah!!! I like!!! :D:D:D
 

Nanfeishen

Executive Member
Joined
Apr 8, 2006
Messages
7,236
HEll yeah!!! I like!!! :D:D:D
Thanx :)

Dont compromise on what it is you want in partner, qualities, attitude, etc often its the small things we compromise on, that in the long run are what we come to despise about them.
I compromised too many times and basically got walked over, trodden on, kicked in the teeth, and f@cked over, to the point where i made the conscious decision not to any more.
 

supersunbird

Honorary Master
Joined
Oct 1, 2005
Messages
48,005
I say, get a domestic! For the washing and ironing at least. Only needs to come 2 a week...

So, any ladies want to swap CVs with me? I'll include references to my friends as well :p
 
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