Are you liable for child support if marrying a woman with kids and divorcing later?

[scudsucker]

...

Sorry to burst your particular little sexist bubble.

 

[Brenden_E]

Actually south African law is based more off British than American but I was quoting an actual local case, as well as familial experiances with the South African courts.

I dug and found this - South African law is wild!
"In 2010 in the case of YM v LB 2010 ZASCA 106 our Supreme Court of Appeal (SCA) was given an opportunity to provide judicial clarity on the law relating to court-ordered blood testing of potential parents refusing to voluntary submit themselves (and/or the minor child) to such testing, but the Court most unfortunately elected to side-step the issue based on the facts of the matter.
...
The court also stated that as paternity is determined on a balance of probabilities, the man is not entitled to demand scientific proof and that in relevant instances, the court has the inherent power as upper guardian of all minor children to order such tests if it is in the best interests of the child. The SCA also noted that the rights of privacy and bodily integrity may be infringed if it is in the best interests of the child. However, it confirmed the statement made by a judge in an earlier case that it may not always be in an individual’s best interest to know the truth. The court noted that in some cases it may be justified to order tests, but that the discovery of the truth should not be generalized."

Let that sink in. The court may decide whether or not a paternity test may be conducted because it decides whether or not the truth should be known. How wild is that?!

There's a lot more to read on local cases - and it's not pretty:

Who's your daddy - paternity fraud.

Paternity fraud is committed when a mother names a man to be the biological father of a child, for self-interest, when she knows or suspects that he is indeed not the biological father. It happens...

www.divorcelaws.co.za

 

[Brenden_E]

Sorry to burst your particular little sexist bubble.
View attachment 842177

At this point, I'm assuming you are the town bicycle with illegitimate children for days. Someone has to pay to raise them kids, and it sure ain't gonna be you!

 

[scudsucker]

At this point, I'm assuming you are the town bicycle with illegitimate children for days.

..instead hide behind childish digs. Very grown-up.

 

[Brenden_E]

If you can't handle the heat, get outta the kitchen. Actually you need to cook for them kids, stay there, stay in the kitchen.

 

[scudsucker]

If you can't handle the heat, get outta the kitchen. Actually you need to cook for them kids, stay there, stay in the kitchen.

It is an interesting hole there, that one in which you are digging.

 

[Brenden_E]

It is an interesting hole there, that one in which you are digging.

O man.

Scudsuckers profile thus far:
Cannot rationally engage - check.
Overly emotional - check.
Find holes interesting - check.

Look, you are really making it hard to picture you as anything other than a victim of pump-and-dump. Or perpetrator, I'm unsure. Act with a bit of civility and you will get it in return.

 

[scudsucker]

Granted, you probably do not regard your hole as dispassionately as I; my interest is in how eagerly you dig it, rather than anything intrinsic to the hole itself.

I would, however, beg to differ on your conclusion that I "cannot rationally engage" and am "overly emotional" on the grounds that you are projecting your own inadequacies here.

Further, while it might titillate you to imagine that I am, as you so charmingly put it, "a victim of pump-and-dump" that fate - unfortunately for your fevered fantasies - is physically impossible.

Act with a bit of civility and you will get it in return.

If you can't handle the heat, get outta the kitchen. Actually you need to cook for them kids, stay there, stay in the kitchen.

I love the way that you object to being called out as sexist... by posting more sexist 'civility'. Nice one, Brenden!

 

[Brenden_E]

Granted, you probably do not regard your hole as dispassionately as I; my interest is in how eagerly you dig it, rather than anything intrinsic to the hole itself.

I would, however, beg to differ on your conclusion that I "cannot rationally engage" and am "overly emotional" on the grounds that you are projecting your own inadequacies here.

Further, while it might titillate you to imagine that I am, as you so charmingly put it, "a victim of pump-and-dump" that fate - unfortunately for your fevered fantasies - is physically impossible.






I love the way that you object to being called out as sexist... by posting more sexist 'civility'. Nice one, Brenden!

Def a victim of le pump a la dump. My condolences - don't take it out on all men and your life can only improve.

 

[skimread]

IMO the law's best interest of the child concept is broken.

Let say the previous father passed away or was a deadbeat and you get to know this woman, and you get along with her, knowing she has young children. You know she is struggling financially as a single parent and you move in as you are attracted to her and enjoy spending time with her. You become a father figure for the children setting a positive example. You decide to spend time with the kids and pay some of the kids expenses as they are good kids and you want to see them grow up healthy.

Conversely let say you knew someone who was forced to pay custody for a kid that wasn't his. His wife googled divorce lawyer and that lawyer forced him to pay maintenance for kids that aren't his and his legal bill is a fortune. You see first-hand how the lawyers destroyed him financially. You knowing this story then say "No" to any future relationship with women who have kids just out of financial risk. The result: A potential good little boy and little girl who would love having a stable father figure to spend time with and talk to about problems is then deprived of such a positive influence. The mother can't cope and the kids grow up messed up, going into drugs and hanging out with wrong crowd looking for love and attention that they don't get at home.

Food for thought.

 

[scudsucker]

Food for thought.

Sweet little hypothetical; your premise is flawed

"The result: A potential good little boy and little girl who would love having a stable father figure to spend time with and talk to about problems is then deprived of such a positive influence."

Your hypothetical protagonist would not be a "stable father" if he was so easily swayed, and your "going into drugs and hanging out with wrong crowd" conclusion is not an inevitable end.

 

[scudsucker]

le pump a la dump

En français, "la pompe" est féminine. "Le dépotoir" est masculin. C'est deux erreurs de grammaire en seulement cinq mots! Sans oublier que "a la" est - au mieux - stupide. On espère que vous essayez d'être ironique.


On espère.

 

[Brenden_E]

En français, "la pompe" est féminine. "Le dépotoir" est masculin. C'est deux erreurs de grammaire en seulement cinq mots! Sans oublier que "a la" est - au mieux - stupide. On espère que vous essayez d'être ironique.


On espère.

I can't imagine why you were dumped. Maybe you weren't speaking the same language.

 

[scudsucker]

I can't imagine why you were dumped. Maybe you weren't speaking the same language.

You have made no effort to present a reasonable argument and instead hide behind childish digs. Very grown-up.

 

[Gozado]

If I'm not mistaken, this is the relevant law.
Act No. 38 of 2005: Children's Act, 2005.

https://www.westerncape.gov.za/sites/www.westerncape.gov.za/files/documents/2010/5/childrens_act_no38_of_2005.pdf

It includes Parts on how a child is to be protected, and sets out who takes on the role of a parent, and how.
Chapter 3 is called PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITIES AND RIGHTS.

 

[supersunbird]

Bread winner - the term used to have meaning when only the male worked and supported the whole nuclear family , nowdays judgements are almost always against the male because the laws have not been overhauled to reflect the empowerment of women and still assume the male is the bread winner while the woman is not.

Which parent is the child most likely living with? The support order willbe for the other parent. The parent the kid lives with is by default supporting the kid. No need to go off on some tangent.

 

[supersunbird]

Ludicrous that a man can be held responsible financially for a child that's not his.
In the same spirit, it's in favor of some child in Soweto to get some of my money too. And, in fact, he does via the welfare state!

Now imagine this same man cannot afford to have his own kids because he's being coerced by threat of imprisonment to pay for kids that are not his. The system is borked and unjust.

If he committed/agreed to it and helped action it, why should he not be held responsible? Sounds like snowflakery thought to suggest not being held responsible for your actions....

 

[ProfA]

Don't get married is the best advise.
Never get married to someone who has got kids
But mostly avoid getting married

Who hurt you?
*very happily married going on 9 years checking in.
P.S. I do agree about the part about not marrying someone with kids though.

 

[Jabulani22]

Which parent is the child most likely living with? The support order willbe for the other parent. The parent the kid lives with is by default supporting the kid. No need to go off on some tangent.

The tangent as you put it which was discussed was the inherent bias towards females getting custody , if you dont understand then just ask bro.

 

[Big Rat]

Who is the father of the kid?
The man who ****ed her at a party? or the man who raised the child as his own for a time?
If i married a woman with children, and i raise that kid from a baby, love him or her, watch the first steps, buy the first bicycle, kick the first boyfriend's ass. That is my kid, no law or legal precedence can take away what morally was mine.

So what if me and the woman's relationship fall apart. I would fight tooth and nail to stay in my child's life.
When you started dating that woman, you knew there were kids, you cannot pick and choose which part of the relationship you want and not want.
Men gets a bad rep for these situations because we act like a doochebag. You are in that kid's life for a amount of time. you cannot have the joy of that child, but none of the responsibilities.