Here I was under the misguided impression that drivers could only annoy me when they were behind the wheel. As it turns out, some drivers manage to fill me with the pure unadulterated rage of nations without even being in their car.
When under instruction, learner drivers are taught how best to tackle every aspect of the driving experience. So can someone please tell me why so many people are unable to perfect one of the simplest areas there is? Can someone please tell me why so many people are unable to park anymore?
Bad parking encompasses such a mass of areas (all brimming with such high bumbling levels of idiocy that it makes my brain hurt) that there aren't insults available in the world to name and shame them all.
One of the most common is the inability to park your car between two lines in a car park. If car parks were designed to fit the width of your car down to the exact millimetre, I would be begrudgingly willing to accept that sometimes the resulting parking attempts may not be perfect.
But no, there is more than enough space to easily park your car in these spaces. And yet, the driving buffoons have found a way to fail, and fail dramatically at this.
There are some cases where I hope to the high heavens that someone is doing it to mess with our minds, or to troll us (as those young kids would say). No one could be that stupid, right?
...right?
There are two categories of toolboxes who have found a way to fudge up the simple task of parking in a car park.
There are those that perform the parking procedure, admire their embarrassingly mindless act, pat themselves on the back and consider their work done.
And then there are those that, apparently, know just how hopelessly incompetent they are and just abandon the attempt altogether in the middle of the car park and run for the hills...
Another area of parking that brings into question the intelligence of our once great human race is attempts that are not only bad, but bad enough that they seem to defy scientific the boundaries of scientific possibility, laws and logic.
On occasion, you see stories reported of bad parking and it really does make you wonder how the human race evolved as well as it did.
How could in one breath we send our fellow human into space, and in another decide that parking our car in the window of the shop we want to go to is a sensible idea. I will never cease to be baffled by such things.
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