Bad sex ruins a long relationship?

[Pho3nix]

Morning all, hope you had a good weekend.

I've read a couple times on the forum that a lot of people don't believe in only having sex after marriage because they need to know that they are sexually compatible with who ever they are with.. Not taking my own beliefs and opinions I'm interested in what you guys would say to the scenario below.

So my question is have you broken up with a previous lover because the sex was bad(only thing wrong with the relationship) and on the flip side..Have you stayed in a relationship just because you were having the most mind-blowing sex imaginable.

 

[Ockie]

There should not be such a thing as "bad sex" between a loving couple. If your is not pushing the right buttons or is doing something that is putting you off ... like liking your face instead of kissing and massasing your tongue with his ... then you need to speak up and teach him/her what you like ... dont like ... and it is a two way street ... so he/she must tell you what he/she likes and dislikes that you might be doing or not doing.

I think the real problem is if there is not sex ... or very little of it. Yes ... sex might not be the same as love ... but I in a healthy relationship ... sex is a integral part. Unless both partners are fridget ... then it is going to cause problems.

 

[bwana]

I've read a couple times on the forum that a lot of people don't believe in sex after marriage because they need to know that they are sexually compatible with who ever they are with.. Not taking my own beliefs and opinions I'm interested in what you guys would say to the scenario below.

They're called married women…

 

[visrot]

I'm in a marriage where the sex is k@k. Not the quality but the quantity. However, I love my wife dearly and would not trade her in for any other brand or model. She is my other half, I look at her and I see my conscience sometimes

 

[Slootvreter]

As with any kind of intimate relationship, the honeymoon phase soon fades into obscurity.

 

[PsyWulf]

Differing libidos are a common cause for infidelity and divorce. Sex is kindof the glue that helps cover over some of the niggles/irritances in a relationship. It's doable without it,but it helps

 

[Pho3nix]

They're called married women…

/facepalm
Hadn't had my morning cawfee yet

 

[syntax]

Ive stayed with a previous girl friend because the sex was amazing.

I think if the sex ever became an issue in my marriage now, I would tell my wife that we need to change things, because it is something thats important to me.

I always feel that if sex is good, its a small part of the relationship, but if its bad / non existent, it becomes a big issue

 

[Other Pineapple Smurf]

There should not be such a thing as "bad sex" between a loving couple.....

^^^ What he says. ^^^

 

[Slootvreter]

^^^ What he says. ^^^

All good and well, and very easy to say.

 

[Ockie]

All good and well, and very easy to say.

Well ... maybe just read my entire post. And yes ... it is easy to say ... I do think many of us struggles with speaking up to our partner when it comes to sex ... that is why I said between a loving couple there SHOULD NOT be a thing such as "bad sex" ... because hopefully they have the channels of commication clear and have enough backhaul for the data to reach the partner

 

[Slootvreter]

Well ... maybe just read my entire post. And yes ... it is easy to say ... I do think many of us struggles with speaking up to our partner when it comes to sex ... that is why I said between a loving couple there SHOULD NOT be a thing such as "bad sex" ... because hopefully they have the channels of commication clear and have enough backhaul for the data to reach the partner

Been there, done that. Once one starts blaming the other, you have trouble. But perhaps this is also a personality clash issue. My ex GF blamed me for bad sex, but the flipside of the coin is, she never wants to put out! Saying it won't be worth it.

Now before people start pointing fingers at me, turns out she was seeing another guy. Strange how women would stay faithful to a lover but not sleeping with their actual boyfriend/husband :wtf:

 

[Ockie]

Been there, done that. Once one starts blaming the other, you have trouble. But perhaps this is also a personality clash issue. My ex GF blamed me for bad sex, but the flipside of the coin is, she never wants to put out! Saying it won't be worth it.

Now before people start pointing fingers at me, turns out she was seeing another guy. Strange how women would stay faithful to a lover but not sleeping with their actual boyfriend/husband :wtf:

Well ... that then sounds like a bad and unhealthy relationship ... no amount of awsome munky sex gonna fix that in my opinion. I do suppose the lines can get a bit blurred as to where the one begins and the other ends or which one came first. bad sex cause bad relationship or bad relationship caused bad sex. That would be for the couple to figure out.

 

[Sm00thSm0k3]

As with any kind of intimate relationship, the honeymoon phase soon fades into obscurity.

+1

Differing libidos are a common cause for infidelity and divorce.

Agreed. Speaking from my own personal experience, my libido is much higher than my wife's and on the days when she's simply "not there" and when my attempts are fruitless I do find my mind wondering and the allure of another woman becomes more appealing which isn't healthy for a marriage.

Sex is kindof the glue that helps cover over some of the niggles/irritances in a relationship. It's doable without it,but it helps

This. When the wife and I have not engaged in the dirty for a while we tend to argue over really trivial and stupid things.

 

[Dolby]

I'm in a marriage where the sex is k@k. Not the quality but the quantity

I hope for your sake she doesn't stumble upon this ....

 

[Pho3nix]

I hope for your sake she doesn't upon this ....

He had the fleshlight thread...

@Visrot didn't you mention that some supplements helped your wife's libido increase to some extent?

 

[MickeyD]

Define 'bad' sex...

 

[Pho3nix]

Define 'bad' sex...

Pardon my french but where I would assume you never orgasmed...

OOC: Can anyone define bad sex?

 

[MickeyD]

Pardon my french but where I would assume you never "came" or "cummed"...

OOC: Can anyone define bad sex?

You mean where neither you and/or your partner experienced an orgasm?

 

[Pho3nix]

You mean where neither you and/or your partner experienced an orgasm?

Yes. Thanks for putting it a lot more eloquently.

I would imagine bad sex is more of a personal thing for the most part and not orgasm based :\