Bad sex : Worth leaving for?

[Slootvreter]

Maybe to you, but certainly not to all. A soulmate? A best friend? That person? You'd let go of all those years of emotional and mental satisfaction for sex?

I'm going to jump to a wild conclusion and say that you have probably never met anybody that means that much to you - or you have but she screwed you over and now you wallow in self indulgent cynicism and bitterness.

I have had someone but for different reasons we are not together anymore, and bad sex was beginning to get to me. And according to her, it was my fault, and vice versa. To go into detail, I was into foreplay, which was fine when we started going out. We moved in together, and sex became less frequent, and much more of a chore for her, like 'just get it over with', and a 'do you feel better now' afterwards. Now you can see where this will lead to problems.

 

[Oculate]

A soulmate? That person? You'd let go of all those years of emotional and mental satisfaction for sex?

if my fiancée decided to never have sex with me for the rest of our married lives, I'd still marry her and stay faithful to her.

superB I wouldn't that let go, and I would do the exact same as Paul_S

 

[Dolby]

Sex is that important for most men, super if your boyfriend hardly ever kissed, hugged or showed any sort of feelings that he was sexually attracted to you would you leave him? Now remember this is your soulmate and best friend. What about if he hugged badly like with one arm and pecked you instead of kissed you nicely would you leave him?

That's a different issue though :/

I'm saying he's TRYING ... he's trying sex, he's trying to kiss you - but he just can't do it properly

 

[superB]

I agree with Dolby. If he's trying then at least he is making an effort.

I'm not always the most affectionate of people and could get quite pissy if I didnt feel like being touched and my ex would hold me / rub my leg etc but I tried for his sake to be more affectionate. There were also certain things that I wanted that he had to make the effort to give me. Some people would say we are incompatible in those areas but I prefer to look at it as compromise and communication. I think the same goes for a lot of what is being discussed here. If you let your partner know what you want / need then chances are that they will try to please you if they care about you.

Is the sex bad? Do you love each other? Yes? Then TALK.
Is the sex bad? Do you love each other? No? Then why are you sleeping with him / her to begin with?

I've never understood how some people can say they cant talk about sex with their partners. You're intimate / close enough to make love but not to talk about basic things?

 

[RichardG]

I wouldn't cheat... I'd tell her it sucks and find ways to fix it.

Guess that's just the type of person I am

I Agree with you fully here..
Rather be honest with your partner than cheat with her - perhaps she has hiding agenders.

Tell her the truth on how the sex is feeling...
Try and bring new people into your sex life, like maybe a man and women to join and have a 3some.

 

[killadoob]

Bwhahahahaha Richard u sicko

 

[RichardG]

Bwhahahahaha Richard u sicko

I am not sick.
I should take you to swinger clubs -- You might just leave your love

I have not gone in a long time because that place freaks me out.

 

[superB]

I Agree with you fully here..
Rather be honest with your partner than cheat with her - perhaps she has hiding agenders.

Tell her the truth on how the sex is feeling...
Try and bring new people into your sex life, like maybe a man and women to join and have a 3some.

....

 

[Nocturnity]

....

hehehe. That dude is seriously weird... Creeps me out a little, actually.

 

[Dolby]

To each his own, but you realise threesomes cause alot of extra stress on a real relationship?

I say a real relationship because some are in 'reliatonships' for fun and have no real feelings. But if there are feelings, sharing your girlfriend will cause damage.

 

[superB]

Hear hear. I dont share or play well with others. At all. Ever. Especially if there are bottles within reaching distance.

 

[Dolby]

W're on the same wave length superb - should we hook up?

 

[Dolby]

YOU EVEN HAVE MY SIGNATURE !

 

[JHatman]

Don't leave because of bad sex. Would you leave if he/she was wheelchair bound? Because in both circumstances you have choice and when you made your vows it was not just based on sex hopefully, but a lifetime commitment.

I'm not married, but was nearly once. My fiance could not have children and I wanted children. But I came to that point where I decided I wanted to be with her regardless and would forego having children to spent my life with her.

If you really love her you won't leave her

 

[killadoob]

Yes and now you will never have any kids, something you will resent one day.

 

[JHatman]

Yes and now you will never have any kids, something you will resent one day.

We're not together anymore so I'll probably never find out heh

 

[Keeper]

1 thing to remember though - bad sex is always better than a good day at work.

 

[Ou grote]

Dolby .... huh?

Learn to talk to her and both of you work at making it better. Leaving your SO because of something that can be fixed sounds more like a scape goat aproach than anything else.

Same goes for cheating. Why would one go and sleep with another woman for the exact same result you would get from your SO. Sure the excitement of being caught and seeing this hot woman naked might be fun. But it's a once of thing that dissapears once the novelty has warn off.

You get the exact same result from having sex with your SO than having it with someone else. You blow your load and feel better...

Speak to your wife and let her know how you feel and work on it together.

Though u knew the difference between "of" and "off"?
Then there's "aproach", "dissapears"... ah nevermind.

 

[Surv0]

She would have to be farking amazing if she cant gimme what i need in bed. For me the sex and physical side of a relationship is just as important as the emotional side. I have left somebody because the sex was so bad, i lost attraction to her and well then it just died.

If she is willing to learn and try knew things to spice it up, then i will def go that route first. but if that doesnt work, bibi

 

[daveza]

To quote the Bard -

Bad sex or no sex
That is the question.