Firstly, interesting post - I did read it, and I can tell you, you are not alone in how you feel.
I assume you are younger than me.
I wont give you advice, its not place to do so, but I will tell you how I dealt with the issue.
South Africa has chequered history.
Some of us went off to army, for no reason at all, now it seems.
Many of us, are second class citizens today. Reverse racism is real and working hard against us.
I am a victim of that, despite employing on talent over my career, I was denied employment on race.
The rules the government made, and they are getting worse.
The way I dealt with it was to find work off shore.
My lifes savings are determined by an economy that is being mismanaged - what I earn in a month now, is double what I earned back home, in ZAR terms, but worth half as much in my new country.
I own property in SA, I have kids in SA.
Today, I am in a happier place. Sure, I miss family and friends, but there is absolutely no way, I can compare my lifestyle to what it would have been had I chosen to remain in SA.
I can only compare my freedom, even during the pandemic, to like things were when I was much younger.
I think I have a chance to give my kids the choice - remain in Africa or go elsewhere. Their choice, but I can make the possibility exist for them
Darker days are probably looming, although I certainly hope not, and I wish you all the best for the future.
Thank you.
Your words have been both heard as well as felt.
You started out by saying you weren't going to offer advice. But then proceeded to do just that.
This is not a criticism in any sense. In fact I deeply appreciate any advice or knowledge/wisdom from anyone regardless of age, race, religion etc. Wisdom through experience is priceless and it appears you are someone who shares that even when intentionally trying not to.
This is a valuable and increasingly rare trait. so I just wanted to acknowledge and thank you for that.
As for the, lets call it solution, that you have offered. It is with a heavy heart that I will say that I have been in the process of emigrating for a few months already. Unfortunately the entire (very expensive) process has been stalled and possibly will require starting all over. But it is something I am set on doing since I have the option.
It saddens me immensely because the main motivation for my wanting to leave is not because I am seeking opportunity and experience and such. That is secondary. The primary reason I am leaving is because I feel I am unwelcome in the place that I, as well as many generations of my family, was born.
It is such a "victim card" to play but many people do not realise that unless you are a part of the small percentage of the wealthy class, white privilege is not actually a real thing. Sure a few years ago the "privilege" also extended to the upper and precisely middle-class, but there are many of us who barely fit into that category either.
I've had my share of being screwed over by the policy's that were, on paper, intended to even out the level of equality among all people. Most notably of which being the fact I initially missed out on getting a tertiary education when i was awarded a scholarship and on a separate additional occasion, a bursary, that I worked my ass off for under extreme conditions only to have them both taken away because under new terms of the award i no longer qualified because I was white.
Anyway. To end off my essay of a response I would like to once again thank you for your words and thank al those that have responded positively to my previous rant.
While I truly wish that I was able to stay in the place I wholly consider my home and a part of who & what I am, it is just not realistic. And sadly this is the case for one too many South Africans these days.
And that fact is truly heartbreaking