blonde one
Expert Member
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2007
- Messages
- 1,380
My Father taught me honesty and my Mother taught me to be independent.
My dad taught me never to say "owning" in public
Dad's sense of humour.
Things My Mom Taught Me
My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside -- I just finished cleaning!"
My mother taught me religion: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me about time travel: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
My mother taught me logic: "Because I said so, that's why."
My mother taught me foresight: "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
My mother taught me irony: "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
My mother taught me about the science of osmosis: "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
My mother taught me about contortionism: "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
My mother taught me about stamina: "You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."
My mother taught me about weather: "It looks as if a cyclone swept through your room."
My mother taught me how to solve physics problems: "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you -- would you listen then?"
My mother taught me about hypocrisy: "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times: don't exaggerate!"
My mother taught me the circle of life: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
My mother taught me about envy: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"