Corrupt-A-Wish

TribbleZA

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Granted - but as the clouds now are too heavy to remain in the sky - they fall down to earth. They obscure our view - causing countless accidents. The silver in them becomes dangerous as you cannot see the lines and people keep waking to them and becoming impaled on these strands of metal. The hospitals are flooded with casualties. Cars can no longer move safely and neither can we get there by foot. The metal causes interference with internet and cellphone signals and those are almost unusable.

I wish I had a 360deg stand for my phone
 

LaraC

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Granted. Due to a design flaw your stand can only rotate on its Y-axis. :D

I wish customer care really meant caring for the customer. :)
 

TribbleZA

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Granted. There is a mind switch and customer service reps start to take their job really seriously. They are determined to satisfy your every need - no matter how difficult or obscure. As a result -you have a customer rep with you 24/7 - quite often more than one - several in fact. Asking how they can make you happy, what can they do for you, and making sure your every desire is satiated. It's annoying and you wish or some privacy but alas you do not get any. Not even in the bathroom or at night. They are constantly waking you and asking if you are hungry, comfortable, would you like music, a bedtime story ..... You go insane

I wish I didn't feel guilty when I want a nap
 

LaraC

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Granted. The Labour court ruled in your favour and declared you not guilty for wanting a nap. Celebrating your victory left you dead tired and you are dismissed for sleeping at work. ;)

I wish South Africa can fast track building water desalination plants.
 

TribbleZA

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Granted - but as the don't know where to store the salt it starts to fill up the landscape. All holiday destinations are covered in the encroaching salt. And sea fish are no longer salty - in fact they taste terrible.

I wish I could go to bed
 

flarkit

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I wish I could go to bed
Granted - nothing stands between you and sweet repose. 10min after drifting off you start dreaming about work stress.

I wish everyone could rediscover the pleasure of being courteous.
 

TribbleZA

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Granted. People accidentally start being nice to once another and it is soooo pleasurable that they forget that there are other ways to behave. Very little gets done because to be courteous, one has to hide your real thoughts and sugarcoat everything. They get a real thrill out of being nice - so the world becomes a wonderfully nice place to live in. So, while people are very ineffective in the job arena, they are very happy when communicating. It feels a bit like Stepford - except everyone has been replaced with very nice, pleasurable people.

I wish we didn't have loadshedding soon
 

LaraC

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Granted. Instead of soon you'll experience it now. :D

I wish I had a yacht to go anywhere in the world.
 

TribbleZA

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Granted - you get on the yacht and go out to see. You find that you are terribly seasick but you do not have permission to return to your port and have to complete the entire around the world trip - hurling overboard. You arrive home 3 months later, weak and skinny due to being sick all the time.

I wish I had a sports car
 

LaraC

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Granted. Due to budgetary contraints you coukd only get one at Toys-R-Us. :D

I wish cars didn't need to be maintained.
 

TribbleZA

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I don't want to corrupt this wish. *Sigh* Granted. In order to make a car that doesn't need to be maintained - it has to have very few movable parts. The wheels would have to be made of solid rubber, and would have to be one with the axle/ drive shaft etc. This would limit movement to straight lines. You would have to drive straight for as far as you needed to go, get out and turn (push) the vehicle to it's new heading and then travel straight. It is decided that walking is much faster and safer.

I wish that I could get going in the mornings instead of procrastinating.
 

LaraC

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Granted. Your shoes are fitted with a shocking mechanism when you are stationary for one minute. ;)

I wish I could go for a nature walk.
 

TribbleZA

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Ah ok - I will go shower and get dressed :ROFL:

Granted - but all the miggies, mosquitoes and flies have decided that it would be super awesome to go on the nature walk with you. They don't leave you alone for a minute.

I wish I had one of those fancy showers
 

LaraC

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Granted. You are blessed with the grandest of showers you can imagine but your municipality decided it is the perfect time to cut your water supply. ;)

I wish we had a more temperate climate.
 

TribbleZA

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Granted - temperate climates come with huge insects. We are very quickly over run by them. They are everywhere and in everything. Food even spoils faster.

I wish my cellphone battery could hold a charge forever
 

LaraC

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Granted. The battery is now so good at holding its charge it doesn't give any to your cellphone. :D

I wish the was a cheap and efficient perpetual energy source.
 

livw88

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Granted. You become a ball of pure energy fueled by hydrogen atoms. Free, efficient and green. But you are owned and managed by Eskom, so you are placed on top of their Christmas tree each year. You bring joy to management.

I wish every time we had loadshedding a random politician died.
 

TribbleZA

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Granted. But because we have loadshedding so often and so many politicians die - no one wants to be a politician any more. There is no one to run the government and anarchy ensues. All essential services stop - never to resume. So not only are we without electricity - but everything else too. The country collapses.

I wish I could sleep late
 

LaraC

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Granted. Oh my goodness. I have terrible news. Prince charming was eaten by a dragon and you'll not be getting your true love's kiss. Hope you are prepared for endless sleep. :D
 

TribbleZA

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Granted. Oh my goodness. I have terrible news. Prince charming was eaten by a dragon and you'll not be getting your true love's kiss. Hope you are prepared for endless sleep. :D
Pssst you forgot your wish
 
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