Corrupt-A-Wish

flarkit

Executive Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2006
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6,382
Granted - you remember to post your wish, wishing to not forget to post your wish, triggering a infinitely recursive event that instantaneously expands, infinitely, occupying the whole of existence, crushing everything. The End.

I wish I'd never discovered the term 'recursive'.
 

LaraC

Honorary Master
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Mar 11, 2014
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39,995
Granted. Instead of making your own rules you have to jump through all kind of hoops, loops and procedures to get your work done. ;)

I wish managers adhered to business rules of companies.
 

CT_Biker

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Sep 10, 2016
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2,288
Granted. Instead of making your own rules you have to jump through all kind of hoops, loops and procedures to get your work done. ;)

I wish managers adhered to business rules of companies.
Granted, however said managers now issue warnings and punitive measures for all infractions against business rules, this results in widespread discipline hearings. This happens recursively.

I wish no one mentioned recursion.
 

LaraC

Honorary Master
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Mar 11, 2014
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Granted. A recursive algorithm designed to remove all mentions to recursive malfunctions and deleted every word except recursive. ;)

I wish Google knew what I wanted before I asked.
 

TribbleZA

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Feb 3, 2014
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30,839
Granted. Google deploys drones around the planet that have the ability to tap into one's thoughts. They know what you want before you want it. They then start broadcasting your innermost desires to you but one day it goes wrong and your deepest desires are sent to the entire world. You are so embarrassed that you run off to a secluded island to live out the remainder of your life far away from technology and people.

I wish I had a great speaker system
 

flarkit

Executive Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2006
Messages
6,382
Granted.

After drooling over a gorgeous set of walnut floorstanders in an audio store window, the owner takes pity and gives you a demo set for free. You're unable to resist testing them with Ministry's "Psalm 69", bringing tears of joy as your ears reach audio nirvana. The pair of 8-Ohm beasties proceed to shake the light fittings loose, blow your cheap-as-chips amp into the next timezone and leave you with permanent tinitus (which you confuse for the song's ending to this day)



I wish I had the budget for those too.
 

LaraC

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Mar 11, 2014
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Granted. After saving diligently for years you spend every last cent you have to purchase the speakers. They look so cool that a sneaky burglar decided they will look much nicer at his place. ;)

I wish all criminals were sent to the North Pole and that Santa's helpers had itchy trigger fingers. :D
 

flarkit

Executive Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2006
Messages
6,382
Granted.

Santa catches wind of the best wish since Feris Beuler eyed a certain classic Ferrari. Every two-bit pickpocket, every wannabe Joolyass Mallemmer, every underhanded, cold-calling fly-by-night insurance-flogging shyster are all transported to the icy wastes. Where they are met by a hip bunch of little musicians and record a remake of that east coast classic "My Last Request", which rockets to #1 on the charts everywhere. They retire happily, richer than snot.

I wish every person everywhere saw the origin of that reference...
:cool:
 

LaraC

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Mar 11, 2014
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Granted. Everyone went back in time to see the origin of the reference. It causes a time paradox everybody is stuck in Omega Time. ;)

I wish I could put a smile on someone's face who really needs it. :)
 

LaraC

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Mar 11, 2014
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39,995
Granted. You have to contend with everyone acting like The Joker.

I wish our government wouldn't rename places just for fun. :rolleyes:
 

TribbleZA

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Joined
Feb 3, 2014
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30,839
Granted - so instead of choosing fun names - they choose horrible ones - like Cistern alley, Dump road. No 2 street.....You now live in Putridville

I wish this rain could stay a while
 

LaraC

Honorary Master
Joined
Mar 11, 2014
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39,995
Granted. You have a permanent guest and your clothes are always damp. :D

I wish our dams were all filled to capacity.
 

etienne_marais

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Mar 16, 2008
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7,178
Granted. Dam levels need to be maintained so the sluices are opened permanently, flooding all low-water bridges causing traffic congestion.

I wish traffic congestion dissipates for good.
 

LaraC

Honorary Master
Joined
Mar 11, 2014
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39,995
Granted. All vehicles are banned and shoes become the new sin tax. :D

I wish we had an exceptional public transport system. :rolleyes:
 

flarkit

Executive Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2006
Messages
6,382
Granted.

Every 2nd morning you snooze for 2min, only to miss the exceptionally on-time train, thereby missing the bus and have to walk the last 500m to work. You have to replace your new shoes every 5 months, racking up a monstrous shoe budget in no time.

I wish pursuing your passion was prioritised, so everyone only needed to work for someone else for 3 days a week
 

LaraC

Honorary Master
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Mar 11, 2014
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39,995
Granted. Every employer will fire you after three days stating that you are not prioritizing your work. Your passion will soon change to seeking fulltime employment. :D

I wish I could work from home. :)
 

TribbleZA

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Joined
Feb 3, 2014
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30,839
Granted - there is a huge tornado and the surrounding areas to your house are totally destroyed. Your house alone survived. So now you have nowhere to go and no other place to work. All your co-workers come and live and work from your house.

I wish cake wasn't fattening
 

LaraC

Honorary Master
Joined
Mar 11, 2014
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39,995
Granted. You can't have any. :D

I wish I lived in a castle.
 

Jings

Treasure Maker
Joined
Mar 6, 2012
Messages
39,130
Granted, you are confined to the turret.

I wish bad news was sugar coated.
 
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