Do you live alone? - How do you stop yourself going crazy? :wtf:

[StonerStuart]

Before I left my long term SO a few years ago I had a real yearning to just live on my own, meditate, find some peace and learn to be a truly independent person. In the last four years since leaving her I've had various living arrangements and the better part of two years of living alone and almost a straight year of it up and till now.
My goal is to learn to be happy while being alone as possible without going to live in a cave in the wilderness.

It's been freaking difficult and lonely at times. I really have felt like I'm going nuts sometimes to the point where I would go out drinking or accept any social invite just as a knee jerk reaction. I wouldn't particularly want to do something or spend time with particular people, but I would because the prospect of being alone sucked. Or I would get drunk at home to drown out the feeling of loneliness.

But it's gotten easier now to the point that I'd rather be alone than go out. So far this year I think I've been drunk twice and been to one braai and the truth is, at this point, I'm fairly happy and feeling happier.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm an introvert. I like people but I don't like the vast majority of them enough to want to spend very much time with them. It's not misanthropy. It's just that I don't feel that very many people are capable of adding anything of worth to my life that requires spending prolong amounts of time with them.

I think the problem that most people have with being alone is 1.) We feel like there is something lacking in ourselves that we need other people to provide - there's not. Part of my realisation that I actually like being on my own is that whatever I may or may not be lacking, the vast majority of people are incapable of providing anyway (if at all). And 2.) There is a lot of social pressure to be sociable - people assume that if you spend a lot of time alone you must be depressed and lonely. A lot of that pressure is self-imposed. We worry about what people will think if we don't have a g/f or b/f or go out very much etc. I've had the realisation that it's crazy to worry about the thoughts of people who contribute very little to my happiness anyway.

Nicely put Nick, I like your views on this matter.
Yes Give this man a bells!

 

[TheHiveMind]

I'd rather be alone than go out....

I've come to the conclusion that I'm an introvert...

It's just that I don't feel that very many people are capable of adding anything of worth to my life that requires spending prolong amounts of time with them....

Pretty much.

That being said, I would like an SO who continues to add value even if she is around all the time. I obviously haven't met her though, which makes sense because I never socialize. Is that irony the crux?

 

[StonerStuart]

Live alone in a new place for the past 9 months. The local pub made a killing off me

Now moved in with a new friend and I do not go out in the week at all anymore.

Why don't you join a sports club or perhaps some other social club?

I am a member of a camera club, Photography and stuff.
I also dont drink so the option of going out to pubs or clubs interests me very little.

 

[Peon]

Good post Nick333.

I think I understand where Stuart is coming from. Stuart, do you live in a flat or house?

 

[StonerStuart]

Good post Nick333.

I think I understand where Stuart is coming from. Stuart, do you live in a flat or house?

I live in a complex, there are no other youngsters my age in the whole complex.

 

[Peon]

You doing good, take it easy and dont be so hard on yourself.

 

[CamiKaze]

You have discovered that you are an introvert, do you want to do something about it or not? I used to be an introvert as well, and that's why i was depressed, I saw people doing things that I couldn't do...Life gets boring when you don't try something new once in a while...Are you happy with doing absolutely nothing, or the same repetitive thing everyday?

Im not telling you what to do or how to live, but you should learn to live in your own way that makes life exciting for you...

I think that living alone is the best thing that ever happened to me, i fail to see how that made things worse for you. So this is not related to you living alone, but living alone contributes to the free time that you have that gives you the "opportunity" to sit around and think about "why you are alone", "why cant you have fun" etc. All these thoughts only changes your outlook on life that would probably be the reason of why you would be so depressed. I suggest you get out, even if you don't have friends, go to a pub, i go thee alone at times, and that's where you meet new friends. This helps you socially, the more exposure you get, the more you can adapt to others.

 

[StonerStuart]

You doing good, take it easy and dont be so hard on yourself.

Yeah thanks.

I am going to check what else I can do to keep my brain from falling off the edge!

 

[StonerStuart]

You have discovered that you are an introvert, do you want to do something about it or not? I used to be an introvert as well, and that's why i was depressed, I saw people doing things that I couldn't do...Life gets boring when you don't try something new once in a while...Are you happy with doing absolutely nothing, or the same repetitive thing everyday?

Im not telling you what to do or how to live, but you should learn to live in your own way that makes life exciting for you...

I think that living alone is the best thing that ever happened to me, i fail to see how that made things worse for you. So this is not related to you living alone, but living alone contributes to the free time that you have that gives you the "opportunity" to sit around and think about "why you are alone", "why cant you have fun" etc. All these thoughts only changes your outlook on life that would probably be the reason of why you would be so depressed. I suggest you get out, even if you don't have friends, go to a pub, i go thee alone at times, and that's where you meet new friends. This helps you socially, the more exposure you get, the more you can adapt to others.

I am not depressed. I am Happy, I do things with my time. Not enough of my time granted, but I stay busy.

 

[I.am.Sam]

to be honest i would rather want to be at home more than going out cause furk it gets expensive

since november i dont think i spent a weekend at home just playing games watching movies

from a friday night something is up ..so enjoy it while you can as well

 

[Jab]

The voices keep me company. They are my friends.





No NO, I won't kill Stuart!! Stop Asking!!

 

[Nick333]

Pretty much.

That being said, I would like an SO who continues to add value even if she is around all the time. I obviously haven't met her though, which makes sense because I never socialize. Is that irony the crux?

I also want an SO so that irony has occurred to me. At the moment I don't feel in a hurry to have one so my opinion on the subject is somewhat hypothetical. It has occurred to me that although I don't socialise I do interact with people everyday. Waiters/waitresses, tellers, cashiers, customers, random people in shops etc. I've also notice that as I've become more comfortable with being alone I've become better disposed to the randoms I encounter on a daily basis. I'm more inclined to smile at people and have a casual, friendly chat in passing. The irony is the less I feel the need to socialise the more casually social I am. Point being, what's wrong with asking someone you've just had a bit of a chat and a laugh with for her number (or his as the case may be)?

I'm not saying rush out and start asking for cashiers numbers. It's just something to consider.

 

[GforceD]

Embrace the craziness! It's warm and fuzzy.

 

[guest2013-1]

If I talk to myself and answer my own questions, I never question my own sanity or ask why I just answered myself/talking to myself. That's just stupid. My time mostly consists of relaxing with a beer, watching a movie or playing Xbox or fiddling with my servers (they like it, don't you babies! shake it like poppa taught you!)

Then again, the best thing about being schizophrenic is that I'm never alone

 

[guest2013-1]

Embrace the craziness! It's warm and fuzzy.

Sometimes it even has candy!

 

[Nick333]

I am not depressed. I am Happy, I do things with my time. Not enough of my time granted, but I stay busy.

Look, if you're happy being alone then you're bound to appear a bit odd or nutty by the standards of society. Make sure you're not judging yourself through your perception of other peoples perception. If you're happy does it matter if you're a little crazy?

 

[UnUnOctium]

living alone, too damn busy to even be at my place all the time. Also, been talking to myself since I was born. It's normal thinking aloud.

 

[StonerStuart]

Look, if you're happy being alone then you're bound to appear a bit odd or nutty by the standards of society. Make sure you're not judging yourself through your perception of other peoples perception. If you're happy does it matter if you're a little crazy?

No it only matters a little bit, I keep myself entertained, I just suck at telling myself knock-knock jokes.

I just think that if there was a person to share in my insanity at night it would be great fun!

*Oh and by the way while the sun is out I am pretty normal, normal thoughts and behaviour but when the night comes it brings out the craziness in me!

I guess I will need to have a good talking to myself tonight to find out exactly what I want in life.

 

[heartbroken]

I think the problem that most people have with being alone is 1.) We feel like there is something lacking in ourselves that we need other people to provide - there's not. Part of my realisation that I actually like being on my own is that whatever I may or may not be lacking, the vast majority of people are incapable of providing anyway (if at all). And 2.) There is a lot of social pressure to be sociable - people assume that if you spend a lot of time alone you must be depressed and lonely. A lot of that pressure is self-imposed. We worry about what people will think if we don't have a g/f or b/f or go out very much etc. I've had the realisation that it's crazy to worry about the thoughts of people who contribute very little to my happiness anyway.

Truer words have never been spoken.

 

[The_Mowgs]

If nicci is female you can always suggest a friendly get together seeing as you both like those turtles. You can explain or even help her build a tank for her turtle... See, new friendship and someone to talk to.