Don't think I wanna be a "dude" anymore

konfab

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I am so tired of being this sensitive, sweet, sincere, kind & generally open guy..It just leads to me being ****ed over & not in a good way.

I am tired of meeting men that pretend to be interested in me but disappear after getting what they really want.
You seem to have a lot of resentment, which indicates you have been doing this for a while. It is also interesting that gay men behave exactly like woman do.

So I will give you the same sort of advice as it appears that gay men look for the same thing that woman do, which is genuine confidence.

Lose the desperation for a relationship. Rather focus on building yourself.
Go to the gym, and build a better physical version of yourself.
Study something interesting in your free time.
Save up a pile of fu_k you money.

Those are things that will build the sort of genuine confidence in yourself that someone will be interested in. It will also fill your life, which means you won't be that desperate to find someone to fill it for you.
 
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CT_Biker

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Free stuff yes. But then wtf are you giving a schit what anyone else thought?
I do not, free alcohol can only cool you down so much, and I felt like walking around with my t-shirt off. If some people got annoyed, i told them to **** off.

I am just pointing out the level of insecurity and toxic that gay men often forget to speak about.
 
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konfab

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After going to Pride this weekend I can most certainly say that the gay community is mostly toxic.
Jerm had an interesting interview with a gay guy who said pretty much the same thing.
 

ShaunSA

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I do not, free alcohol can only cool you down so much, and I felt like walking around with my t-shirt off. If some people got annoyed, i told them to **** off.

I am just point out the level of insecurity and toxic that gay men often forget to speak about.
Yeah nobody gives a damn about that schit
 

ShaunSA

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They seriously should, it would make life a little easier for guys like OP who are battling with the fallout from it.
The guys like OP would be insecure and have issues irrespective of whether they are gay or straight
 

CT_Biker

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Jerm had an interesting interview with a gay guy who said pretty much the same thing.
I am not going to comment too much on the YT vid, but it does remind me of why I actually came out in the first place - in a way.

Don;t get me wrong there are NGO's and social projects that exist that do try and help people who are gay and live in areas where coming out being openly gay can end up in that person being corrective raped - i.e: Pink Triangle Project. This organisation also provides support to people who have corrective raped.

I do not see the gay community hold them on a pedestal, or make much mention of them anymore or any organisations like them who genuinely try to make others lives better after they have been disowned by their family, raped, abused and hurt tremendously in or outside of the communities they live in. (Pride)

These days, to me its become like a fashion show in some respects, an alcohol fuelled circuit party in some respect and I do not even want to talk about people younger than me and they way they behave.

My favorite example though: Grindr was never advertised as a "find love here app", it was literally called a gay cruising app.
 
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CT_Biker

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The guys like OP would be insecure and have issues irrespective of whether they are gay or straight
I am not going to argue with you in that regard, but I am going to defend the OP here for a second - he genuinely seems to have a positive outlook on the world and he is haplessly trying to find a little tribe of his own where he does not have to worry about guys trying to **** him, manipulate him etc etc. A network of close friends where he can vent and be listened to - at the moment, he has MyBareBack...Broadband. BROADBAND!
 

Gozado

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Jan 13, 2019
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OP, if you do extract yourself from Grindr, etc. you'll find you have extra time to do something else.

One thing that can be a major distractor from one's own pain (and useful because it is a way to shift one's focus and to grow by figuring out what other people are having to face) is to help others. For safety's sake, I'd recommend this especially in the context of a modest group or organisation which has taken on some steady purpose, with no major drama, and where someone else is doing the planning of the project, and assigning the teams and tasks.

If you don't like that idea, there's also the notion of getting to know people in the shops around your area, where you live and where you work: become a regular, speak to the shop assistants, pause to tell the sales staff a nice joke, learn some of their names, etc. Putting in this effort can result in a huge social benefit in feeling grounded and connected, because bit by bit, those people will greet you each time you walk by. You don't need to have sex with or date them, but just knowing that if you walk into their shop they're likely to be pleased to see you can do wonders for lifting your spirits for at least a moment, maybe for the day.

And here's a recommendation for a book on how to be the kind of person people like to know and listen to, and how to get along well with others, in ways that are not about giving up on yourself, or letting yourself be exploited by them.
about Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People".
Interesting comments in that review, too.
 

kolaval

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I wish I could transition as well. I'm a scratch trapped in a 19 handicaps body.
 

TheRealRaspeggi

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Mar 6, 2020
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"Men are visual beings"
True, we see tits, we grab tits. very simple.
"Don't be such a f*g/pussy/girl"

These are comments I constantly hear.
If this bothers you don't associate with cuants then.
Dear straight men, you have more in common with gay/bi dudes then you think.

You're both broken /robotic/dead inside.
broken, probably, robotic, not so much, dead inside, only when my ex visits.
I am so tired of being this sensitive, sweet, sincere, kind & generally open guy..It just leads to me being ****ed over & not in a good way.
if all you want is to be ****ed over in a good way the solution seems to stop being sincere, sensitive and sweet. just refrain from being any adjective starting with an S.
I am tired of meeting men that pretend to be interested in me but disappear after getting what they really want.
Stop giving them what they want FFS!
I don't fit into the mould of society's ****ed up view on masculinity.
You don't have to fit into any mould, you can be whoever you want to be. you should learn the subtle art of not giving a fuack, get some self confidence and be the man you want to be.
I don't get why im a dude. I actually want to get to know people, I don't throw them away like a used condom & im not constantly measuring my masculinity.
Two broken people rarely have healthy relationships with each other. Get your **** together, go see a therapist if you have to and fix your own brokenness. When you are done with that don't fall for broken people. Know you are a good person, you deserve to be happy but you are not going to settle for a poison relationship. if you spent 5 years of your life before you get a whole person in your life so be it, if you never get it that is fine as well
I don't know why men are compared to dogs.
Just imagine if we could lick our own balls like dogs can, there be a lot more happy men in the world that is for sure. Man evolution let us down bad. fuack opposible thumbs... I WANNA LICK MY BALLS GODAMMIT!!!
 
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