FEATURE: Sex - The End of Gay

Ockie

Ockie

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Nick333 said:
I think critical mass has been achieved even in the US and there ain't no going back. I think it's because most people on some level recognise that there is no "normal" sexuality. We all have our kinks and fetishes that we'd rather not be preached to about. Personally, I think even older, conservative, white men find homophobia a bit suspect these days. Even if you are a little homophobic you wouldn't voice it too often or loudly down the local because people would kind of wonder if you know what I mean. I think we'll see the end of homophobia long before we see the end of racism.
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Ja .... makes sense. I think I agree. Thank you.
 
Nick333

Nick333

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Ockie said:
Ja .... makes sense. I think I agree. Thank you.
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Out of interest, how much homophobia do you feel you have to deal with on a day to day basis? Honest question. I'm not trying to lead you anywhere but, to be honest, I suspect it's not very much at all or none at all. Am I right?
 
Grant

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Nick333 said:
I must say I've noticed that some gay guys jumped to conclusions about that dudes sexuality in grantza thread about his friend.

Was it grantza's thread? Tired - brain not firing on all cylinders.

I always thought, and I'll admit it was biased thinking, that gay people were opened minded about sexuality. I've come to realise that gays can be just as closed minded as straight people in this regard.

All of which is probably not that much of a light bulb moment.
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i am guessing it (the thread) was the one about the child being named after me
 
Ockie

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Nick333 said:
Out of interest, how much homophobia do you feel you have to deal with on a day to day basis? Honest question. I'm not trying to lead you anywhere but, to be honest, I suspect it's not very much at all or none at all. Am I right?
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Nope. Cant say that I do, but then again I dont go shouting it walking down the streets either. I want to share two experiences though that I would like to think shows how accepting South Africans have become.

I was kind of seeing this guy (real bear of a guy lol .....) anyway, he would hang out at the bar there by Linksfield. Cant remember the name now. It is like a pub. Very straight setup. Anyway, I was sitting next to him and he had a friend there also. We were talking and drinking and admittedly getting pretty pissed. Suddenly he pulls me in and vry my warm. As nice as the kiss was, I could not help but think of the bunch of guys sitting behind us that is obviously witnessing this and tonight, TONIGHT is the night that my luck is going to run out and I am going to find out what it feel like to be gay bashed and to be put in hospital by a bunch of straight guys. It did not happen. No remarks were made, every one just carried on.

Then, another night I was there with him again sitting by the gambling machines while he played. Two Afrikaans outjies puts themselves down next to us. He was in a very friendly mood and buys them each a shot. Anyway they turn to us and start talking to us. Anyway, after a while they ask if we are father and son (he is a bit older than I am you see) and he calmly just says, no, we are lovers. I wanted to crawl under a table and pray that a hole opens up swallows me whole. But again, they just smiled and said "Kool ..... lekker, so hoe lank is julle al bymekaar?"

So in my personal capacity, I honestly cant say I have had a rough ride.
 
Nick333

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Ockie said:
Nope. Cant say that I do, but then again I dont go shouting it walking down the streets either. I want to share two experiences though that I would like to think shows how accepting South Africans have become.

I was kind of seeing this guy (real bear of a guy lol .....) anyway, he would hang out at the bar there by Linksfield. Cant remember the name now. It is like a pub. Very straight setup. Anyway, I was sitting next to him and he had a friend there also. We were talking and drinking and admittedly getting pretty pissed. Suddenly he pulls me in and vry my warm. As nice as the kiss was, I could not help but think of the bunch of guys sitting behind us that is obviously witnessing this and tonight, TONIGHT is the night that my luck is going to run out and I am going to find out what it feel like to be gay bashed and to be put in hospital by a bunch of straight guys. It did not happen. No remarks were made, every one just carried on.

Then, another night I was there with him again sitting by the gambling machines while he played. Two Afrikaans outjies puts themselves down next to us. He was in a very friendly mood and buys them each a shot. Anyway they turn to us and start talking to us. Anyway, after a while they ask if we are father and son (he is a bit older than I am you see) and he calmly just says, no, we are lovers. I wanted to crawl under a table and pray that a hole opens up swallows me whole. But again, they just smiled and said "Kool ..... lekker, so hoe lank is julle al bymekaar?"

So in my personal capacity, I honestly cant say I have had a rough ride.
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Ja, when I consider how much things have changed since I was a kid (re homosexuality) I honestly think homophobia is a prejudice that can be well and truly eradicated from a society unlike racism, xenophobia and even sexism. I think it's because there is no biological imperative to discriminate on the basis of sexuality.

In Europe a lot of right-wing parties are accepting of gays and even use Islamic homophobia as a platform.
 
STS

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Ockie said:
What is the problem now? The main thought behind the article is that one day IT WONT BE A BIG DEAL!!! Hence the disappearance of things like gay or straight. There just aint fcking pleasing you. jesus.
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Ockie, i had a bad time last night and was probably more pissed than i should have been, so i pulled a nick, stumbled over your thread and had a rant and emo session.

i'm lonely Ockie. i have a beautiful kid and a wonderful partner, but nobody understands that **** i have to go thru every day, the feeling i have when i go to bed at night and how i have to drag myself out of bed and be somebody other than who i am. i understand people suffer persecution for their orientation, their gender, their sexuality and their private things that is nobody's business every day, but where you suffer discrimination and fear, you can still be who you are and open up to some people. i can't open to anyone. i can't BE with anyone. i've gotten so sick the situation that i don't even care about my life any more.

i make you tear your hair out because i constantly raise pedophiles and other sexual deviancies in topics. i can only imagine pedophiles go thru what i feel every day and that is why i sympathise with them because NOBODY in the immediate 10000Km is going to sympathsie with me and who i didn't choose to be. i just get so the ****s in with the world around me that anything people do and say sets me off, this forum is evidence of that, despite me getting better and deleting messages before i send them

so i am sorry i give you a hard time
 
Ockie

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STS said:
Ockie, i had a bad time last night and was probably more pissed than i should have been, so i pulled a nick, stumbled over your thread and had a rant and emo session.

i'm lonely Ockie. i have a beautiful kid and a wonderful partner, but nobody understands that **** i have to go thru every day, the feeling i have when i go to bed at night and how i have to drag myself out of bed and be somebody other than who i am. i understand people suffer persecution for their orientation, their gender, their sexuality and their private things that is nobody's business every day, but where you suffer discrimination and fear, you can still be who you are and open up to some people. i can't open to anyone. i can't BE with anyone. i've gotten so sick the situation that i don't even care about my life any more.

i make you tear your hair out because i constantly raise pedophiles and other sexual deviancies in topics. i can only imagine pedophiles go thru what i feel every day and that is why i sympathise with them because NOBODY in the immediate 10000Km is going to sympathsie with me and who i didn't choose to be. i just get so the ****s in with the world around me that anything people do and say sets me off, this forum is evidence of that, despite me getting better and deleting messages before i send them

so i am sorry i give you a hard time
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I have read your message, but if you dont mind I will respond a bit later to it. If I respond now, it will be a emotional one.
 
STS

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Ockie

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STS said:
then it's a comparison that i share, not homosexuals. obviously pedos and I are meant to suffer alone in the world. i won't make the comparison again
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How about you just tell us what your situation is? Perhaps you will find support here? I cant comment on something that I dont know what it is. Pedo's dont have to suffer alone. Believe it or not, but physiologists could help. It is considered a mental disorder (which homosexuality is not!)
 
STS

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Ockie said:
How about you just tell us what your situation is? Perhaps you will find support here? I cant comment on something that I dont know what it is. Pedo's dont have to suffer alone. Believe it or not, but physiologists could help. It is considered a mental disorder (which homosexuality is not!)
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what does support help? nothing helps any more. i also can't get anything out of these discussions any more, so i'll just stayed pissed and away from the internet in future

best wishes
 
TofuMofu

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STS said:
what does support help? nothing helps any more. i also can't get anything out of these discussions any more, so i'll just stayed pissed and away from the internet in future

best wishes
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We're here for you, STS. You really can talk to us anonymously :) You don't have to "suffer" alone. It helps to talk about it and I know I will understand as I've been struggling with who I am for many many years before.

There's always someone that will listen :)
 
Ockie

Ockie

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STS said:
what does support help? nothing helps any more. i also can't get anything out of these discussions any more, so i'll just stayed pissed and away from the internet in future

best wishes
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Support can make a big difference. You wont know until you ask and get it.
 
bokdrol

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Like all things human, sexual preferences are not all either one or the other, but in a spectrum. Thank goodness more and more societies are becoming tolerant of sexual "differences" and less people will have to live with stigmas and having to hide their relationships from society.
What I see now, being in my late 40s, is completely different from the situation I observed when I was a young woman, when being gay was a "skande". So things can change, even in just a decade or two.
 
Swa

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Ockie said:
Pedo's dont have to suffer alone. Believe it or not, but physiologists could help. It is considered a mental disorder (which homosexuality is not!)
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So why is one considered a mental disorder but not the other? Where is the rationale? It seems to me like psychologists have simply buckled to pressure from one group while another is too afraid to come out of hiding.
 
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