Fortnite: Raging teenager

[maumau]

Kill the mouse for 5 seconds. Punishment enough.

Jeesus, we don't want to start whipping our kids emotionally or physically.

 

[ArmatageShanks]

Kill the mouse for 5 seconds. Punishment enough.

Jeesus, we don't want to start whipping our kids emotionally or physically.

I once had a schitty wireless mouse that did this when the batteries got low, think the kids mouse will end up in just as many pieces as mine did.

 

[R4ziel]

Eish, what a bad situation. The SO is the problem here, if she doesn't want him disciplined your hands are tied in that regard. Maybe just because it is your PC you can deny access for bad behaviour.

I would hate to have a kid in this world at the moment, if I ever got too loud playing games I was also just asked once, next time I get moered and the PC goes away a week. It's sad to think that you can't discipline your child like that any more because people took it too far.

Come to think of it, my dad only ever moered me 3 times in my life, every other time he only hinted at it and that did the job, the 3 times lingered in my mind for very long but it worked.

 

[Moosedrool]

So my teenage son is addicted to fortnite.

I'm so sorry to hear that.

I think your best option is to put him down.

 

[aapkop]

 

[Stillie]

lol my dad used to trip my rooms power when ever i got too roudy

 

[Big Rat]

ADHD is a difficult thing to diagnose correctly. A spoiled naughty brat acts the same. 15 years ago my sister's twins were diagnosed. Ensue chaos in the house because they did what they want. Told my sis to give me the kids for the weekend. Told them I am onto their **** and will not tolerate their ill behavior at all.

Quite a few hidings were given that weekend. Not by hand because my hand is too big and will injure them, but a soft slipper. Nice sting on the butt.
That weekend was the last time I had to discipline them. One weekend of smacks. They grew up to be both headboys in their primary school. Went to high school, became headboy and underheadboy. Went on to study B-REC. Normal, well behaved kids, that were taught there are cause and effect.

Your SO are preventing you from disciplining the brat, and she is causing more harm to him that she can imagine. HOme school will be a final nail in that coffin as well.

 

[Toxxyc]

ADHD is often misdiagnosed, by the way. Parents are told by teachers at school that "your child has ADHD" when in fact all that's wrong is a behavioral issue. If you suspect ADHD, an education psychologist should be visited and tests done to see if it's the case. A teacher or parent can't diagnose it.

 

[Ninja'd]

Quite a few hidings were given that weekend. Not by hand because my hand is too big and will injure them, but a soft slipper. Nice sting on the butt.

I see you are well versed in la chancla.

 

[schuits]

I hope she doesn't buy him skins in the game, the good skins are ~$20.

Yeah about that

ADHD is often misdiagnosed, by the way. Parents are told by teachers at school that "your child has ADHD" when in fact all that's wrong is a behavioral issue. If you suspect ADHD, an education psychologist should be visited and tests done to see if it's the case. A teacher or parent can't diagnose it.

Nah we went to a professional who did the whole EEG thing and got a proper diagnosis.
Started on Concerta and moved to Ritalin after the teachers complained he was still to distracted. Teachers these days don't want to deal with kids. They just want a bunch of zombies who sit quietly and do as they're told.

Anyhow. I've spoken with the SO and said I'm not putting up with it. There will be no more warnings, but an immediate ban for the rest of the week if his behavior is out of line. She argued that if he's not playing he comes and bothers us. So I said that's fine, we'll deal with that when it comes around.

 

[Barbarian Conan]

She argued that if he's not playing he comes and bothers us. So I said that's fine, we'll deal with that when it comes around.

I realise I am out of line by saying this, especially since I don't have kids, but that's a pretty selfish attitude. I'm sure that there are times where you need some quiet, but allowing them to spend too much time doing anything that's ultimately bad for them should be the exception rather than the rule.

Edit: I have seen people letting their kids write reports on books, or write apps or do something productive to earn computer time. It may be worth it allowing him to do something more productive to get his Fortnite privileges back earlier?

 

[newby_investor]

She argued that if he's not playing he comes and bothers us. So I said that's fine, we'll deal with that when it comes around.

Kudos man. Good luck with that. Good parenting takes a lot of hard work but it's worthwhile in the end, as others have mentioned. Well-raised children can be a source of pride and joy when you're older.

 

[DMNknight]

He's ADHD and the teachers can't cope. There's also no suitable schools in the area.
HAHA I wish could send him to a boarding school!

Sorry, ADHD is no excuse. As an anology, he probably scales quite high on mental acuity, but like a car with a really big engine, no brakes and really tiny wheels... his control suffers.
Home schooling is going to treat the symptom, not the cause and is likely to alienate him even more from society.
It's not the school that must deal with ADHD, it's you the parents.

I wish this binary decision making would go away. It's not either play fortnite or not. If it's not fortnite, it will be something else. Fortnite is a symptom.

What needs to happen is that he needs to be helped to control himself, to reign himself in. One idea I can think of is to film him and make him aware of what he does. Play it back to him.
Also, set up a reward system. He does XYZ and gets rewarded with times of his choosing to play. This will allow him to play at times that his friends do.
When he behaves badly, then remove the privilege and increase the cost of being able to play again.

Above might seem like punishment, but it's not, it's breaking a cycle he needs to learn how to control.
Don't set up a negative feedback system, it does not achieve positive results.

Lastly, revisit the system constantly to see what works as a reward system and what comes across as punishment.
Find ways to remove punishment (negative cycles that fuel rage) and create rewards for self control.

The anger is a symptom. Possibly due to a loss of control in his life, possibly starting with the divorce or loss of previous dad (I cant cover all the bases here).
Fortnite offers a modicum of control because his own actions determine his fate, when he loses control (dies/presses the wrong key) then he also loses control of his anger, because its a trigger.

He's the child here, you need to equip him with brakes and the appropriate size wheels to deal with what the road throws at him.

Externalising the problem isn't going to fix the internal one.
Good luck.

 

[DMNknight]

Nah we went to a professional who did the whole EEG thing and got a proper diagnosis.
Started on Concerta and moved to Ritalin after the teachers complained he was still to distracted.

Please make sure that Ritalin is a short term solution. All it is supposed to do is even the playing field while he learns the skills to deal with his ADHD.

Teachers these days don't want to deal with kids. They just want a bunch of zombies who sit quietly and do as they're told.

Yes and no, the school is supposed to have teachers who are equipped with the correct tools to deal with ADHD kids. They're not supposed to solve it, just not make it worse.
However, the solution is still at home. Buying him skins are pandering to his anger. "If he's not playing he's bothering us" is pandering to his anger.
Also, by his own mom doing the above he's learned he can hold her time (and your PC) with you hostage to his anger.

Hell, I'd also be angry if my mom was deserting me away to play games so that she had more time with his replacement, you. (A possible viewpoint, to offer some perspective)

 

[GIGZ]

Is this your son?

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

 

[GIGZ]

Thanks for the replies.

As to the parenting style it's sort of out of my hands. I'm not his biological father. Also I was bought up in a very strict way, but my SO won't let me "be like my father was" as she puts it.
If it were up to me the game would be deleted and he would lose all rights to my PC.

Change your password

 

[thestaggy]

He needs a break from the game.

I'm closing in on 3-months without playing online after the rage reached unhealthy levels.

 

[BeerIsNotGood...]

So my teenage son is addicted to fortnite. Fine, I guess, I play games too.
The problem is he's constantly shouting at the computer and his friends, like way too loud.
The SO and I are getting tired of reprimanding him.

So I'm writing a system app that will monitor the microphone input levels. When it exceeds the limit I deem acceptable the program takes action. Now at first I thought it would give him 1 warning, and then kill the Fortnite executable. But this will probably just fuel his rage. So instead I have now written it to play back his own microphone input when he starts getting loud. Creating a sort of feedback loop. Any thoughts?

Wow...

 

[BeerIsNotGood...]

Your son sounds like a arsehole. He needs some sorting out. I would hate to see what type of adult he is going to become.

I would pull the plug on the PC as soon as he gets loud and he can then use it again the next day. If he does it again, in two days time etc etc

Proper ****

 

[Mobus]

An app is way too much effort... and could possibly affect his frame rate and only make the rage worse.

Save the "restart router page" link on your phone. If he gets too loud, restart. Do this a few times and surely he'll get the message.

Also, perhaps record a video of him ranting. Sit him down and make him watch it. Then record yourself re-enacting his behaviour and make him watch it. (Also, record him watching your video, then post to youtube so we can all have a laugh!)