Friends with an ex?

K

Kitten

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Do you have a problem with your SO being friends with one of their ex's? or do they have a problem with you being friends with one of your ex's? I find that I am friends with many people who have split up, and one of the peoples new partners wont allow that person out because their ex will be there. Do you think this is a problem? Surely its over, and being friends is not a problem?! or am I mad?!
 
Pitbull

Pitbull

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There is no such thing as an ex = friend.

One of the 2 still has hopes of it working out futher on in life. Tell him/her to drop the friend or you move on.
 
K

Kitten

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I don't believe in asking someone to ditch a friendship, no matter who they are friends with.
 
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koeks

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Kitten said:
Do you have a problem with your SO being friends with one of their ex's? or do they have a problem with you being friends with one of your ex's? I find that I am friends with many people who have split up, and one of the peoples new partners wont allow that person out because their ex will be there. Do you think this is a problem? Surely its over, and being friends is not a problem?! or am I mad?!
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i have a problem with it. and my SO also has a problem with it... friends can be lovers... it's also easier to go back then forward...
 
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Serqet

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Depends how close they are. I am on a friendly terms with 2 of my exes but i don't speak to them all the time. I hear from them every 3 months or so. I think that's normal and acceptable.
 
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syntax

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I dunno, i have never actually been able to stay proper good friends with an ex, there was always something on the table....
 
Pitbull

Pitbull

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Kitten said:
I don't believe in asking someone to ditch a friendship, no matter who they are friends with.
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Then just move on. Seriously you are letting yourself in for allot of problems down the line.
 
Pitbull

Pitbull

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Serqet said:
Depends how close they are. I am on a friendly terms with 2 of my exes but i don't speak to them all the time. I hear from them every 3 months or so. I think that's normal and acceptable.
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I think that is the difference between friends and associates.

I see my friends just about weekly, daily. Associates I see when I see them.

So:
friends = No
Associates = Yes.
 
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Oculate

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I ocassionally chat to my ex on MSN. Then again, I wouldn't say we're friends. I agree with Pitbull, it will cause problems later on...
 
K

Kitten

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basically 2 friends of mine split up because they fought all the time, and want to remain friends and go out with the group. Now, the ones new partner has said he may not do anything with the group if his ex will be there (her new partner is totally fine with it). Surely, 2 adults can realise they dont work as a couple and move forward, like adults?!
 
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Serqet

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Kitten said:
basically 2 friends of mine split up because they fought all the time, and want to remain friends and go out with the group. Now, the ones new partner has said he may not do anything with the group if his ex will be there (her new partner is totally fine with it). Surely, 2 adults can realise they dont work as a couple and move forward, like adults?!
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Exactly. I think so!
 
Mila

Mila

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Nope no problem but my ex's new GF does so now we lost contact. Very sad :(
 
K

Kitten

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I have had just about enough of people trying to control their SO! I think if you feel your relationship is strong enough, a friendship with anyone cant ruin that.
 
Nick333

Nick333

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Pitbull said:
There is no such thing as an ex = friend.

One of the 2 still has hopes of it working out futher on in life. Tell him/her to drop the friend or you move on.
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K@k bru.

I can understand why someone would be jealous or threatened by a friendship between their SO and an ex but that doesnt mean its right.

You shouldnt be trying to control who your gf/bf is friends with. Even if you do think you have a reason to be worried.

People need to grow up and realise that healthy relationships can only exist between two people who want to be together.
 
K

Kitten

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This mate of mine phoned me this morning to say he will not be attending our get together as his SO has said he is not allowed. I thought omg, NOT ALLOWED?! since when can we not make our own choices!
 
K

Kitten

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Nick333 said:
K@k bru.

I can understand why someone would be jealous or threatened by a friendship between their SO and an ex but that doesnt mean its right.

You shouldnt be trying to control who your gf/bf is friends with. Even if you do think you have a reason to be worried.

People need to grow up and realise that healthy relationships can only exist between two people who want to be together.
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EXACTLY! I couldn't have said it better myself!
 
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