Getting married at home affairs.

joefriday

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We are getting married at home affairs this Friday. Anyone know what the dress code is? We wanted to keep it very casual with Jeans and T-shirts?
 

Arthur

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It all depends on how seriously and coherently you want to manifest your commitment. Though there's of course no direct link between interior and exterior disposition, the latter is quite often a pretty good indicator of what's going on inside. Just like words.

If you pitched up for a big job interview in jeans I'd personally see a dark orange flag...
 
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Jings

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Congratulations!

You are already in agreement with what you want to wear. Open communication and common interests goes a long way in creating a successful marriage.
 

Leisure Larry

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It's going to be one long wedding ceremony at the government department. Do not forget to invite Gigaba. He looks for occasions to swank.
 

Arthur

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Congratulations!

You are already in agreement with what you want to wear. Open communication and common interests goes a long way in creating a successful marriage.
Necessary, of course. But not sufficient.

For me, the sine qua non is a permanent and irrevocable commitment to stay the course until death no matter what. That way marital failure through alienation, infidelity, sickness or other incapacity is not an option, which means you both invest everything it takes to make it work. When you do, nothing in this life makes for deeper happiness and joy. When you don't, the chances greatly diminish that your relationship will last, because you will most certainly encounter tough times. Only an irrevocable commitment will see you through to the other side, where lasting happiness lies.
 

Lupus

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What ever you feel like. You go in you do the ceremony, sign the docs bam you're married and you've saved a fortune.
 

Jings

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Necessary, of course. But not sufficient.

For me, the sine qua non is a permanent and irrevocable commitment to stay the course until death no matter what. That way marital failure through alienation, infidelity, sickness or other incapacity is not an option, which means you both invest everything it takes to make it work. When you do, nothing in this life makes for deeper happiness and joy. When you don't, the chances greatly diminish that your relationship will last, because you will most certainly encounter tough times. Only an irrevocable commitment will see you through to the other side, where lasting happiness lies.

Whatever.
 

Arthur

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No, not really. An irrevocable commitment does not create lasting happiness. People can be deeply committed but unhappy.
Of course an irrevocable commitment does not per se and in itself produce happiness. But without it you do not make the total investment of self in the other that is necessary for happiness. It's all about venturing and risking everything. Staking your whole self and your future happiness on this relationship, with no possibility of another while you or your beloved are alive. High risk, high return. Low risk, low return.

Your 'return' on the relationship is really a function of your 'investment'. Partial or temporary investment produces partial 'return'. It's an inexorable cosmic law. Which is a reason why those who don't make the total investment sooner or later drift into another relationship, and so stumble into a string of serial 'relationships', and each one less able to produce the deep happiness we hunger for, eventually leading to a tragic resignation in the mistaken belief that lasting happiness is not possible. Never realising that the problem lies inside them and the quality of their commitment... What a tragic waste.

You only have to look at the sorry state of relationships to see the wreckage of low-risk, low-investment pseudo-commitment. So many unhappy and lonely people, so many hurting kids growing up into broken adults, it's heart-breaking.
 
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Arthur

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I'd go in my birthday suit TBH.
You jest about what is really a very serious matter: commitment made in love.

I suspect you're one of millions self-sabotaging, destroying your own prospect of committed self-donation because you're trapped in a cycle of porn and masturbation, which daily reinforces your own self-centredness and daily weakens your ability to give yourself in fidelity.

Very sad.
 

Arthur

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You're repeating yourself there.
Not really. Per se denotes necessary or logical inherence between two or more referents or qualia. In itself denotes an intrinsic quality without any reference to an extrinsic qualia. Subtle diffs, but I agree that in context I could have gotten away with just one. ;)
 

ShaunSA

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Necessary, of course. But not sufficient.

For me, the sine qua non is a permanent and irrevocable commitment to stay the course until death no matter what. That way marital failure through alienation, infidelity, sickness or other incapacity is not an option, which means you both invest everything it takes to make it work. When you do, nothing in this life makes for deeper happiness and joy. When you don't, the chances greatly diminish that your relationship will last, because you will most certainly encounter tough times. Only an irrevocable commitment will see you through to the other side, where lasting happiness lies.

tl/dr
 

cobussc

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There is no dress code. We did this not so long ago, but remember there will be pictures...
 

joefriday

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You jest about what is really a very serious matter: commitment made in love.

I suspect you're one of millions self-sabotaging, destroying your own prospect of committed self-donation because you're trapped in a cycle of porn and masturbation, which daily reinforces your own self-centredness and daily weakens your ability to give yourself in fidelity.

Very sad.
Arthur seriously ? dude you are seriously mentally masturbating right now.
 
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