Getting married at home affairs.

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Arthur

Honorary Master
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Aug 7, 2003
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26,112
joefriday said:
Arthur seriously ? dude you are seriously mentally masturbating right now.
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Hehe. I'm being deadly serious, actually. Mainly because the subject is one of the most important in our personal and social lives. Marriage is on the rocks in our society, so our civilisation is soon to follow. Though in retrospect, my comment was uncalled for. I apologise.
 
RedViking

RedViking

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Feb 23, 2012
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joefriday said:
We do have the money, but rather spend it on our honeymoon in Zanzibar, where we are having a ceremony on the beach, with all our family and friends.
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This is information you should put in your first post. :ROFL: /Noob :p:p
 
RedViking

RedViking

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Arthur said:
It all depends on how seriously and coherently you want to manifest your commitment. Though there's of course no direct link between interior and exterior disposition, the latter is quite often a pretty good indicator of what's going on inside. Just like words.

If you pitched up for a big job interview in jeans I'd personally see a dark orange flag...
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Arthur said:
Necessary, of course. But not sufficient.

For me, the sine qua non is a permanent and irrevocable commitment to stay the course until death no matter what. That way marital failure through alienation, infidelity, sickness or other incapacity is not an option, which means you both invest everything it takes to make it work. When you do, nothing in this life makes for deeper happiness and joy. When you don't, the chances greatly diminish that your relationship will last, because you will most certainly encounter tough times. Only an irrevocable commitment will see you through to the other side, where lasting happiness lies.
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Arthur said:
Of course an irrevocable commitment does not per se and in itself produce happiness. But without it you do not make the total investment of self in the other that is necessary for happiness. It's all about venturing and risking everything. Staking your whole self and your future happiness on this relationship, with no possibility of another while you or your beloved are alive. High risk, high return. Low risk, low return.

Your 'return' on the relationship is really a function of your 'investment'. Partial or temporary investment produces partial 'return'. It's an inexorable cosmic law. Which is a reason why those who don't make the total investment sooner or later drift into another relationship, and so stumble into a string of serial 'relationships', and each one less able to produce the deep happiness we hunger for, eventually leading to a tragic resignation in the mistaken belief that lasting happiness is not possible. Never realising that the problem lies inside them and the quality of their commitment... What a tragic waste.

You only have to look at the sorry state of relationships to see the wreckage of low-risk, low-investment pseudo-commitment. So many unhappy and lonely people, so many hurting kids growing up into broken adults, it's heart-breaking.
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Arthur said:
You jest about what is really a very serious matter: commitment made in love.

I suspect you're one of millions self-sabotaging, destroying your own prospect of committed self-donation because you're trapped in a cycle of porn and masturbation, which daily reinforces your own self-centredness and daily weakens your ability to give yourself in fidelity.

Very sad.
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Arthur said:
Hehe. I'm being deadly serious, actually. Mainly because the subject is one of the most important in our personal and social lives. Marriage is on the rocks in our society, so our civilisation is soon to follow. Though in retrospect, my comment was uncalled for. I apologise.
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^^^ This guy. Bravo....
 
H

hungrymamba

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joefriday said:
We do have the money, but rather spend it on our honeymoon in Zanzibar, where we are having a ceremony on the beach, with all our family and friends.
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Sounds awesome. All the best, I wouldn't get away with that though... Mom expects a wedding that she can plan :ROFL:
 
3WA

3WA

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Sep 25, 2012
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Arthur said:
Hehe. I'm being deadly serious, actually. Mainly because the subject is one of the most important in our personal and social lives. Marriage is on the rocks in our society, so our civilisation is soon to follow. Though in retrospect, my comment was uncalled for. I apologise.
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Don't apologise; you hit the nail on the head.
 
Pitbull

Pitbull

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joefriday said:
We are getting married at home affairs this Friday. Anyone know what the dress code is? We wanted to keep it very casual with Jeans and T-shirts?
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I got married at home affairs.

Takes about 15 minutes. No dress code. You rock up there, they guy calls you to the "chapel" gives you things to recite, so too your wife to be. He then pronounces you husband and wife, you sign, she signs and the witnesses. Nothing longer than 15 minutes. Congrats!
 
B

Brenden_E

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Joined
Aug 30, 2006
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7,407
3WA said:
Yeah, but it's not as if he can retaliate. After all, he only has one free hand.
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What on earth are you on about?
If you can't stick to your vows and be happy without a stamped paper from other hairless apes I have to question whether you thought about the situation much.
 
3WA

3WA

Honorary Master
Joined
Sep 25, 2012
Messages
14,048
Brenden_E said:
What on earth are you on about?
If you can't stick to your vows and be happy without a stamped paper from other hairless apes I have to question whether you thought about the situation much.
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After post 16, I'm just here to make jokes about masturbation.
 
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