How many friends do you have?

[TofuMofu]

1-4 proper friends (including the SO). Others are "send jokes on Whatsapp" but not much else.

 

[The_MAC]

My Wife, kids and family take up all my time, which I already don't have a lot of..

So I guess I don't have time for friends - my BIL is my best friend, sad seeing that I have 2 brothers of my own, but they are also just as busy/preoccupied with their own lives.

 

[The_MAC]

True story:
Our friends contacted us and stated that they wanted to discuss something with us. It was something that concerned them. Took us aback. So we accepted the invitation to come over for drinks and the discussion.

We arrived to find another coupe there. So we thought they just popped in earlier and would leave. Nope incorrect. More than 10 other people also arrived shortly thereafter and it was a drinking session and braai.

We were a bit shocked by this. So the next day we contacted them and asked what had happened to the discussion. Their response was, don't worry it wasn't important.

What would you make of this situation?

Swingers U-turn maybe?

 

[ReeceDBN031]

Pretty sad thing.. when schools done friends seem to just drift apart really... or they come out the closet and dont want you in their life because it reminds them of their past.. lol long story.. but anyway.. no real friends really.. more like aquintences now

 

[Matt91]

Pretty sad thing.. when schools done friends seem to just drift apart really... or they come out the closet and dont want you in their life because it reminds them of their past.. lol long story.. but anyway.. no real friends really.. more like aquintences now

Do elaborate please.

 

[Smokey888]

Plenty aquintences , only 2 friends that I will share everything with.

 

[ReeceDBN031]

Do elaborate please.

lol im happily married to a woman.. i didnt care he came out if that matters

 

[ArmatageShanks]

Swingers U-turn maybe?

Exactly what I was thinking reading the story.

 

[KleinBoontjie]

My definition of a friend:

• Someone you can share your secrets/thoughts with and can trust.
• Someone who doesn't wilfully lie to you.
• Someone you can visit unannounced for a quick chat.

I previously thought I had that, but I was lied to.
Currently.....zero (excluding my SO).
I am totally open to new friendships, even repairing those damaged ones.

I thought the definition was :

• Someone to borrow money from.
• Someone to clean malware of PC for free.
• Someone to call in the middle of the night, when your PC is broken.
• Someone you call when you need something done for free.

Man, those bastards lie to me, all these years

 

[3WA]

True story:
Our friends contacted us and stated that they wanted to discuss something with us. It was something that concerned them. Took us aback. So we accepted the invitation to come over for drinks and the discussion.

We arrived to find another coupe there. So we thought they just popped in earlier and would leave. Nope incorrect. More than 10 other people also arrived shortly thereafter and it was a drinking session and braai.

We were a bit shocked by this. So the next day we contacted them and asked what had happened to the discussion. Their response was, don't worry it wasn't important.

What would you make of this situation?

Swingers, but no-one picked you.

 

[Matt91]

lol im happily married to a woman.. i didnt care he came out if that matters

This is interesting because usually it's the other way around... So he opted to end the friendship because you reminded him of back when he couldn't be an out and proud gay?

 

[3WA]

I have two close friends that I'll invest effort in maintaining contact with. About four buddies at work that are solid guys but low effort cause I see them every day. About four or five guys who are always at my local when I go there. I like them, but if they asked to borrow money, I'd say no.

And then SOs friends - many.

 

[ReeceDBN031]

This is interesting because usually it's the other way around... So he opted to end the friendship because you reminded him of back when he couldn't be an out and proud gay?

Apparently the boyfriend wasnt happy.. so yea i guess? lol

We grew up together.. known each other for years and years.. so it didnt bother me at all hay

 

[KleinBoontjie]

True story:
Our friends contacted us and stated that they wanted to discuss something with us. It was something that concerned them. Took us aback. So we accepted the invitation to come over for drinks and the discussion.

We arrived to find another coupe there. So we thought they just popped in earlier and would leave. Nope incorrect. More than 10 other people also arrived shortly thereafter and it was a drinking session and braai.

We were a bit shocked by this. So the next day we contacted them and asked what had happened to the discussion. Their response was, don't worry it wasn't important.

What would you make of this situation?

How much of the rest of the evening do you remember? Did you wake up the next morning, not remembering how you got to bed and with some pain in very weird places and a mofo of a head ache?

 

[thestaggy]

Pretty sad thing.. when schools done friends seem to just drift apart really... or they come out the closet and dont want you in their life because it reminds them of their past.. lol long story.. but anyway.. no real friends really.. more like aquintences now

In my case it was when they started settling down and starting families.

Marriage and kids is something that never appealed to me and still doesn't, so as they moved in to that phase of their lives I couldn't relate and we just drifted. When we do meet up during the year its usually a month of planning a simple get together as they check whether they'll be able to or not.

Right now I just do things on my own and bump in to the odd acquaintance while I'm out, so similar boat. I find that it is hard to make friends the older you get as well (I'm 33 now), especially outside of work.

 

[grok]

Zero, nada, zip, nothing..

Totally unencumbered I guess.

 

[t_girl]

Friends in my mind are as simple as someone you like spending time with whom you do not want to fsck. That excludes best or very close friends.

You can't be friends with someone you want f**k?

 

[ArmatageShanks]

You can't be friends with someone you want f**k?

Not friends per se. It'll turn into something more or less eventually.

 

[pinball wizard]

You can't be friends with someone you want f**k?

How about being friends with someone who wants to **** you? There's this woman I know, you see...

 

[R13...]

You can't be friends with someone you want f**k?

If you **** it ****s the friendship.
If you don't one of you becomes resentful of the friendzone.