How many friends do you have?

[3WA]

You can't be friends with someone you want f**k?

Yeah, if you want to f**k someone, you're going to ask to f**k them, which is not really conducive to a friendship blossoming.

 

[t_girl]

Yeah, if you want to f**k someone, you're going to ask to f**k them, which is not really conducive to a friendship blossoming.

I've found the opposite to be true in some of my friendships...

 

[t_girl]

If you **** it ****s the friendship.
If you don't one of you becomes resentful of the friendzone.

I guess it depends on the 2 people...

 

[ReeceDBN031]

In my case it was when they started settling down and starting families.

Marriage and kids is something that never appealed to me and still doesn't, so as they moved in to that phase of their lives I couldn't relate and we just drifted. When we do meet up during the year its usually a month of planning a simple get together as they check whether they'll be able to or not.

Right now I just do things on my own and bump in to the odd acquaintance while I'm out, so similar boat. I find that it is hard to make friends the older you get as well (I'm 33 now), especially outside of work.

Yea true.. very hard making friends in my work.. they all the opposite of me.. all the things i do they dont understand or interested in

 

[Akasha]

People that I invite to parties and such ~ 20
People that invite me to parties and stuff ~ 3 (couples)
People that I'd consider MY (not my bf's) friend = 2
People I hang out with often because they work in the same company as my bf and I wouldn't have met them without him and they're actually pretty cool = 2 (couples)

 

[Sepeng]

Is the enemy of my enemy my friend? If so, then plenty.
If not, then not so much. 5-9 I reckon.

 

[unobeat]

Currently have a group of 17 Ladies and Gents that we are slowly and surely building our relationship to the status of being classified as being friends who i can depend on.

 

[yebocan]

2 good friends -if I should kill someone and pitch up at either of their places... they would "process" the body no questions asked. In the event death, they know to microwave all my drives. I would do the same for them.

 

[yebocan]

I don't even visit my mother unannounced. If that were my criteria I wouldn't have any friends.

You pitch up, unannounced .... sorry for wasting your fuel.

 

[krycor]

Not really a social person. Prefer the company of my SO and that's about it tbh.

Similar.. I mean I have work colleagues from current and past that I am ‘friends’ with but tbh it’s more like an acquaintances. And there is family but that’s family.

So yah.. that’s what happens when you move around country and don’t stay at one job/career path all the way through life.

SO has friends from high school & varsity but they all moving/ed abroad. Also we at that age where everyone has kids which adds to complications vs time.

Personally I don’t see the need.. when I was single it was cool to have buddies to hangout with but that never happened and I learnt to be ok on own and meet people when needed. Which is weird as then people tend to want to meet you.. (ironic) and you just want to get one with things.


Kids makes friends with others, so the parental hangout on various restaurant freebie kids days are cool. I dunno the need for a social hangout has lessened over the years as I realized that I’m comfy on own and don’t need others to have fun. Of cause there are activity based stuff u do socially where you meet the same folk.. but that’s more like acquaintance again.

 

[OCP]

Aquintances I have hundreds of, a lot of them through work/kids. Some I see socially but not true friends as per OP.

My wife was also my closest friend; never needed anyone else and once kids were in the mix, time for socialising was even less.

Currently I have 3 people that I could call on 24/7 and vica-versa - we don't see each other often but we keep in regular contact and when we do meet up it is like we saw each other yesterday.

 

[Thor]

Too much

 

[randomcat]

No friends, some acquaintances. I think it got harder to make friends.

 

[Sensorei]

What happened to your friends from when you were younger if you don't have friends? Don't you guys get lonely or bored just having your wife/partner to sociailse with? This seems like an IT industry thing.

Here I thought I was a crazy introvert for only having 4 friends I care to make time for. I can go a month without making an effort to see anybody outside of family but it starts feeling mentally unhealthy.

 

[Ecko_1]

I have 4 or 5 friends that i see regularly. We hang out at least twice a week. There are other people that I socialise with on occasion but wouldn't class them as friends. More like advanced level acquaintances.

 

[randomcat]

What happened to your friends from when you were younger if you don't have friends? Don't you guys get lonely or bored just having your wife/partner to sociailse with? This seems like an IT industry thing.

Here I thought I was a crazy introvert for only having 4 friends I care to make time for. I can go a month without making an effort to see anybody outside of family but it starts feeling mentally unhealthy.

Everyone went their separate ways after matric. I see some of them like once a year. I don't have a wife or girlfriend.

 

[Ecko_1]

To add. My friends I've picked up along the way. One has been my friend from primary school. Another is an ex of my sister who I got to keep in the break up. Another is a friend from articles. Another is another brother of an ex girlfriend of friend number 2 mentioned.

These are guys I can rock up at unannounced. I could go stay with them if needed no questions asked. If I needed some cash they would help out without question. They would and have lent me their cars...

These are not people that I'm friendly with and know because of a mutual place of convenience like work. We do a lot of things socially together. Running, playing and watching soccer. Gaming. Working on cars. Smoking hookah. Our interests are aligned. We all even have our own keys to the one guys house where we meet to hangout (he is the single guy with a big house in the group)

 

[Sensorei]

Everyone went their separate ways after matric. I see some of them like once a year. I don't have a wife or girlfriend.

At least you see them now and then I guess and have someone you can call. Most of my good mates moved away or died, but I'd get depressed and probably end up drinking if I didn't have a couple of guys to do stuff with when I need a break from the wife and little brats.

Guys tend not to keep in touch like women do, so most men by the time they are 60 seem to be pretty lonely unless they have a wife who organises stuff or drinking buddies.

Making friends is not the same when you get older but its worth the effort.

 

[Herr der Verboten]

Inspired by some of the comments in the this thread, how many friends do you have, if any?

I wanted to split friends and acquaintances but no option to have two polls in one thread.

1,070

 

[nazmo]

Im lucky to have the same group from standard 8 in 1995. Over the years we studied at different universities but would meet up weekends and evenings. from 2000-2010's email then gmail was our default chat. last few years we have a whatsapp group.

i define them as friends as we have all attended each others weddings, Any birthday is a default open invitation. Unanounced visits, regular braais. never have arguments.

interestingly, we started with some girls in our circle, but they faded. I reckon guys are simpler beings.