I am isolating myself from people and don't know why

[marvelguy]

I work from home and don't go out at all.

I even started getting my groceries delivered.

I can't remember the last time I left my apartment.

Maybe just for a walk outside occasionally.

I basically only have one close friend that I hangout with.

I can't remember the last time I saw him. I avoid his calls and in general don't look forward to socialising with him.

He is a very close friend but we have drifted apart.

He has made an effort to retain the friendship but I haven't done the same.

I think I'm ok with not being friends anymore.

I just feel numb about the situation and generally indifferent.

I have blocked 2 people on whatsapp today, that try to remain in contact with me.

It feels like I'm pushing everbody away and I don't know why.

I actually don't care.

I just feel so numb to everything.

I don't want to hurt anyone but I just don't care anymore.

 

[ArmatageShanks]

I see nothing wrong really, if you would be at your happiest for eg in a cold dark basement with a wall of monitors and no one to bother you then more power to you.

Provided that you are happy though.

 

[FiestaST]

Doesn't sound terribly healthy. Life is about balance. Humans are inherently (to some degree) social creatures. Sounds like you're going the hermit route.

A daily walk or run does wonders. So does the occasional meeting up with a fellow human & indulge in some **** talking.

Que relevant soundtrack:

 

[RedViking]

Depression.

 

[Not_original]

Depression.

Could be. Maybe OP should think about seeing a therapist even if it's just to say how they feel. Maybe drop 6g of that blue bruising stuff and have a four hour inner battle.

Well @marvelguy , it concerns you enough to ask about it, now take whatever action you decide on it.

 

[DA-LION-619]

Depression.

That’s basically my life prior to covid.
Some people are just having an existential crisis and want to drag others into it because no one told them they could die at anytime.

I don’t care if you’re stopping the spread or think it’s a face diaper, I just don’t want to have a random conversation and masks prevent that so I love it.

I haven’t seen my friends in about 2 years and the ones acting a tad irrational did experience deaths, but it’s no different to when some become parents.

 

[RedViking]

Depression is no joke. Since the pandemic the suicide and rate has increased drastically. Get help immediately before you can't get out of the rut.

 

[saor]

I actually don't care.

I just feel so numb to everything.

I don't want to hurt anyone but I just don't care anymore.

So why the thread? Seems there's a part of you that does care and maybe even wants some help or advice or reasons why this isn't a good idea. Some people will find a nice safe place and try to stay there like a squirrel who never ventures out beyond the safety of its tree. But we don't always do shit 'because we feel like it', we do it because in the long run it's probably gonna move us in a better direction.

What next? Stop caring about exercising? Stop caring about your health and what you eat? Will you stop caring about yourself as well?

Call the friend. Have coffee together. It can be kak difficult to make close friends the older you get.

 

[Willie Trombone]

I work from home and don't go out at all.

I even started getting my groceries delivered.

I can't remember the last time I left my apartment.

Maybe just for a walk outside occasionally.

I basically only have one close friend that I hangout with.

I can't remember the last time I saw him. I avoid his calls and in general don't look forward to socialising with him.

He is a very close friend but we have drifted apart.

He has made an effort to retain the friendship but I haven't done the same.

I think I'm ok with not being friends anymore.

I just feel numb about the situation and generally indifferent.

I have blocked 2 people on whatsapp today, that try to remain in contact with me.

It feels like I'm pushing everbody away and I don't know why.

I actually don't care.

I just feel so numb to everything.

I don't want to hurt anyone but I just don't care anymore.

What you're describing is a simple habit. Habits can change with a little effort. What IMO you should do is find some outdoor and social activities you can schedule - and by schedule I mean literally put on a calendar / your phone - to force yourself to do some social and outdoor activities. Try something exercise related - walking - a change of scenery - join a gym.... start playing Pokemon Go, board games, card games, find a small community to join... lots of options... but in the words of Nike...
JUST DO IT. It's not going to happen on it's own. Congrats on recognizing the problem - you're still OK.

Are you on any form of anti depressant perhaps? I know that can cause the emotional indifference.

 

[marvelguy]

It is depression.

I have been off my meds for a while.

I started taking them today and will make an appointment this week.

Thanks for the responses guys.

I also push friends away out of guilt.

They seem happy with their lives, bubbly and enthusiastic.

I don't feel that way 90‰ of the time.

I push people away cos I can't be the friend they want me to be and I don't want to "pull them down" with me.

 

[Sinbad]

If they're your friends they will lift you up. Good that you're back on your meds and seeking help.

 

[RedViking]

have been off my meds for a while.

I started taking them today and will make an appointment this week.

Yes, please take them. Also be careful too just suddenly go off them, even if you think it does not work. There is a cycle you need to complete. I do not personally take meds, so I can not possibly understand how you feel, but my mom in law has a shortage of serotonin and chronicle depression, meds is a saviour, and my sis in law also has serious depression currently being diagnosed, its been hel for her, lets see how it goes. A long time friend is bipolar, he pushed me away now and stopped taking his meds, busy destroying himself. I know the meds he said made him feel like a zombie, but he enjoyed life and friends and cared for his family, now he can't see that he is on a road of destruction and he is super selfish en self centred. I try to help him, but it is hell and extremely difficult. So I mostly just try to support his wife and kids through this and hope he wakes up.

Another friend's wife started taking meds and then suddenly stopped taking them thinking it doesn't make a difference , ended up in hospital, but she is back on again and gonna see how it goes. Hope she finds the right treatment.

I do not say meds are nice or don't have their own set of challenges and side effects , or it seems like they don't always work, but it does indeed make a massive difference. Take it before you lose everything around you.

From a "friends" perspective, like a friend of my selfish bipolar friend. I never expect him to be anything and I realise the things he struggle with. I have a lot of patience with him and never push him. If he needs space I don't force him unless I see he is on a destructive path. It is only in his head he think we don't care or expect things of him. But if he is going to treat everyone like junk and die in his self pity, he is going to lose his family, he second child and someone who has been very patient with him but still bothers to visit and support him.

 

[RedViking]

They seem happy with their lives, bubbly and enthusiastic.

No, we just hide our feelings better than you.

https://mybroadband.co.za/forum/threads/an-escape-from-hell.1132505/

 

[Polymathic]

Depression.

Yup sounds like a classic case of depression.

I work from home and don't go out at all.

I even started getting my groceries delivered.

I can't remember the last time I left my apartment.

Maybe just for a walk outside occasionally.

I basically only have one close friend that I hangout with.

I can't remember the last time I saw him. I avoid his calls and in general don't look forward to socialising with him.

He is a very close friend but we have drifted apart.

He has made an effort to retain the friendship but I haven't done the same.

I think I'm ok with not being friends anymore.

I just feel numb about the situation and generally indifferent.

I have blocked 2 people on whatsapp today, that try to remain in contact with me.

It feels like I'm pushing everbody away and I don't know why.

I actually don't care.

I just feel so numb to everything.

I don't want to hurt anyone but I just don't care anymore.

I'm no expert so take what I say with a massive grain of salt but your actions do seem like a passive aggressive call out for help.

Possibility that you have depression from a lack of vitamin d?
Increase your exposure to direct sunlight by at least an hour a day for a week and see if that affects your outlook

 

[backstreetboy]

You should get a mod to change your username.

 

[RedViking]

You should get a mod to change your username.

Then technically you should change yours to uptowngirl.

 

[marvelguy]

You should get a mod to change your username.

Your name is literally "backstreetboy".

You should be the last person telling people to change their usernames lol.

 

[marvelguy]

Yup sounds like a classic case of depression.

I'm no expert so take what I say with a massive grain of salt but your actions do seem like a passive aggressive call out for help.

Possibility that you have depression from a lack of vitamin d?
Increase your exposure to direct sunlight by at least an hour a day for a week and see if that affects your outlook

It's not Vitamin D.

I take a 5000iu supplement +K2

They checked my vitamin D previously and it was acceptable.

 

[RedViking]

Your name is literally "backstreetboy".

You should be the last person telling people to change their usernames lol.

Sheesh that's racist.

 

[saor]

It's not Vitamin D.

I take a 5000iu supplement +K2

They checked my vitamin D previously and it was acceptable.

Maybe get more movement? First thing in the morning a short walk around the block whether you feel like it or not. Jog a bit. Few pushups. Really does help to get your heart & lungs doing a bit more than what's required from just walking to the fridge.