I just cant cope with stuttering anymore.

[blue-eye-boy]

Why don't you try a speech therapist now again?

I've heard a talk a while back where they said that it dont really help if you're grown up, because the problem is so deeply rooted, for so many years. And these people always tells you to "sing talk", and nonsense like that.

I've got the problem where my brain is thinking miles ahead of what I can speak and as such I try to talk faster to up to keep up with my thoughts, and this only exacerbates the problem.

I think it's exactly my problem too, and how do one change that, its impossible.

I have a friend who stutters pretty bad, but after a few brandys he's fluent.
Give it a try.

Tried that too. But the consequences were not all that good....

You might want to take a look at the NLP stuff. dj should be able to point you in the right direction. def cheaper than a therapist and a lot more practical than a few brandy's.

Also - try not to worry about it too much it just makes it worse. Easier said than done I know.

The problem is, the "worry" is also so deeply rooted. Like I can talk much more fluent to my wife and friends, than with my dad. And I mean I'm not afraid of him anymore.

My biggest issue is the frustration in stuttering. As some know, I manage a butchery/retail store, and it is a very demanding environment. I have to do many meetings, also staff meetings etc, and although I overcome the embarrassment issue years ago(I even makes jakes about myself now), it is frustrating when many times I know the correct word or phrase, and I have to choose second best, just because I can't get the right word out. And imagine this, when trying to explain something to the workers in english, while I'm actually afrikaans, and they also dont really understand english, it doesn't end well.

And then also on the telephone. I just cant talk on the phone, for some reason. And imagine how this is, in the position I'm in. The other day a angry customer told me that now that I must explain, I cant even find the right words to lie to him. Must say it didn't felt good.

And an top of all this, I always thought I could have been a good sales rep, with all the bright schemes I sometimes have....

 

[blue-eye-boy]

I emailed phonak now, to hear if they do the speech easy thingy. I must start somewhere.

 

[Grant]

I remember seeing some sort of documentary about the "hearing aid" device.

It centered on a woman who's son who used one but was killed in a car accident. She donated the device to a local kid who ran an ice cream shop.
The kid later went on the become one of the finalists in American Idol.

Found this:
http://www.tampabay.com/features/po...bout-stuttering-becomes-american-idol/1272256

and

http://www.sptimes.com/2004/06/01/Floridian/Sean_s_echo.shtml

So after reading through the links (inserted after I posted the original msg) I realize my memory failed me regards the death of the kid who originally had the device.

In any event, hope the links provides a little more insight.

 

[ant_man]

My problem is I get stuck on certain letters, W and M.

What I tend to do is speak very fast as my brain is also miles ahead of my mind and this helps me not stumble on those letters.

The downside is that I will inevitably be asked to repeat myself and that is where it gets worse.

The second time around I stumble loads more as I must now think about the words that I am going to use so like you I chose other words that have similar meaning to my original ones.

I have learnt to live with it but it as the years have gone by it seems to be getting better.

 

[HavocXphere]

The problem is, the "worry" is also so deeply rooted.

I hear you. I don't stutter (usually) but I've got a similar issue that also has this self-reinforcing worry aspect.

And then also on the telephone. I just cant talk on the phone, for some reason.

As I said I don't stutter normally but I tend to get overwhelmed during telephone calls too. As a result I write short notes beforehand. Nothing hectic - just abbreviations - something to fall back on if my mind goes blank. Esp at the start of the conversation to establish context (who i am, what company i work for, why im phoning).

Protip: Don't write too neat. Got laughed at once when someone saw what I was doing. Works for me though so they can stfu.

Again - not a solution, but having a bag of tricks is always good.

 

[blue-eye-boy]

I've googled a bit, and found this stuttering forum. One oke told guys there that a doctor prescribed Propranolol and Alprazolam for him. I googled that, and it is used to treat anxiety. Dont you guys think something like this can help? I mean it is a anxiety/stress thing to me as well. You must see me if our visa card machines give problems, on a friday afternoon, on month end. Who wont be totally rattled then. I tell you I couldn't get a word out last friday when this happened.

Just a thought...

 

[Ancalagon]

I'm 28 and have stuttered for my whole life, so if you want to chat about it, you can pm me.

My stuttering depends almost entirely on my stress levels and who I am talking with. Not so good over the phone, and for some reason, I struggle to with things like saying my name or "I'm fine thanks". Other times, people have known me for months and not been aware that I stuttered. Sometimes I'm completely fluent.

Somehow its never really got me down, I dont know why. I suppose its because I have never let it. If a teacher asked a question in class, I would answer, no matter how long it took. I did go for speech therapy as a child, and my parents would still make me answer the phone and take phone calls, although I hated it. So, in a sense, all I have had to deal with is the stutter itself, and not the social anxiety that often comes with a stutter. The problem is, as you are well are, that social anxiety feeds into stuttering.

I do remember being about 10, and realizing I was different to everyone else. Nobody else stuttered. It scared me. I hated feeling different. But over the years, I've learned to accept the fact that I am different. It hasnt stopped me from having meaningful relationships. Sometimes I get irritated when people laugh at me, but then I remind myself, its because they dont understand what a stutter is.

You can try that hearing aid device - I cant remember what its called. I had a fitting with a speech therapist, the problem is that on that particular day, I was fluent, so it was impossible to tell if the device improved things.

 

[Mortymoose]

Try toastmasters.

I have a friend who stutters, he took up a hobby , amatuer acting on stage, when on stage in front of a crowd, not a single stutter,

He was also a member of a masonic lodge and had to deliver countless speeches to large crowds, once again, not a single stutter, have a one on one conversation, stutter returns. He is now in his 60's and we often discussed his stuttering, turns out that giving speeches helped him a lot..... So yes, i concur, join toastmasters or an organisation where you get to make speeches..... Grab the bull by the horns....

 

[blue-eye-boy]

Forgot to mention, I saw on this stuttering forum again now where people wanted to sell their speech easy device, because as they said, it only helped a short while. And it is so expensive, between 2500 and 4500us dollar! I mean come on.

 

[ant_man]

I've googled a bit, and found this stuttering forum. One oke told guys there that a doctor prescribed Propranolol and Alprazolam for him. I googled that, and it is used to treat anxiety. Dont you guys think something like this can help? I mean it is a anxiety/stress thing to me as well. You must see me if our visa card machines give problems, on a friday afternoon, on month end. Who wont be totally rattled then. I tell you I couldn't get a word out last friday when this happened.

Just a thought...

It is a stress thing, it's like a spiralling affect.
When you know you are going to go into a stressful situation your mind goes into overdrive.
When this happens to me, I would take very deep breathes and try to calm down. It worked sometimes for me.

 

[blue-eye-boy]

I'm 28 and have stuttered for my whole life, so if you want to chat about it, you can pm me.

My stuttering depends almost entirely on my stress levels and who I am talking with. Not so good over the phone, and for some reason, I struggle to with things like saying my name or "I'm fine thanks". Other times, people have known me for months and not been aware that I stuttered. Sometimes I'm completely fluent.

Somehow its never really got me down, I dont know why. I suppose its because I have never let it. If a teacher asked a question in class, I would answer, no matter how long it took. I did go for speech therapy as a child, and my parents would still make me answer the phone and take phone calls, although I hated it. So, in a sense, all I have had to deal with is the stutter itself, and not the social anxiety that often comes with a stutter. The problem is, as you are well are, that social anxiety feeds into stuttering.

I do remember being about 10, and realizing I was different to everyone else. Nobody else stuttered. It scared me. I hated feeling different. But over the years, I've learned to accept the fact that I am different. It hasnt stopped me from having meaningful relationships. Sometimes I get irritated when people laugh at me, but then I remind myself, its because they dont understand what a stutter is.

You can try that hearing aid device - I cant remember what its called. I had a fitting with a speech therapist, the problem is that on that particular day, I was fluent, so it was impossible to tell if the device improved things.

You see there's the big thing. My parents tried to help me, by telling my school teachers that I stutter, and that when we had to do speeches, they must take me in break time when no one else was there. And many years after school, I thought of it, and realized why I was so afraid to speak in front of a crowd, its because of that.

And yes, stutter is totally connected to your current stress levels. Even when me and my wife had words, or some argument, the next day I feel stressed, and not able to speak fluent. Thats why I thought of medication many times before, just to be able to control that stress levels.

Just on a side note, a few years ago I got a scan on one of those computers, which they say scan your whole body and tells you whats wrong with you. Well whether it's bull dust or not, out of the blue the lady asked me why I'm so stressed up. I mean why would I be afraid of her or any thing, but I could feel the nerves, and for no reason.

I have a friend who stutters, he took up a hobby , amatuer acting on stage, when on stage in front of a crowd, not a single stutter,

He was also a member of a masonic lodge and had to deliver countless speeches to large crowds, once again, not a single stutter, have a one on one conversation, stutter returns. He is now in his 60's and we often discussed his stuttering, turns out that giving speeches helped him a lot..... So yes, i concur, join toastmasters or an organisation where you get to make speeches..... Grab the bull by the horns....

I also knew someone who started giving speeches to "tackle the bull by the horns". But o the other hand, on what topic on earth would I give a speech on?

 

[ph4t3]

I stuttered profusely when I was a kid. It became such a problem that I become shy to even speak to people. I made up every excuse in the world to get out of school speeches. Not doing it in front of my peers etc. I noticed that I only stuttered on certain letters and sounds. I am sure that you know what I mean by this.

For example, the letter m, in mushrooms bugged me every time! Ordering something with mushrooms in at a restaurant became such an ordeal.

Anyways, I digress.

I wanted to go for therapy in high school but the people I talked to said it wouldn't work and the stuttering would just come back. I went anyway. The lady taught me some breathing exercises. It all seemed so silly at first but I pushed on. This went on for about 2 months.

I did notice some improvements. Sometimes the breathing exercises did help the words to come out of my mouth and sometimes not. But what I did notice was that it calmed me down a bit. By this I mean, that when i stuttered i became frustrated and I tried to hurry my speech. Of course, this led to another cycle of stuttering. But the breathing calmed me down. Made me focus on the word I was trying to say. You'd be surprised at how just taking moment to breathe can make you really concentrate on that word, or even find a substitute for that word.

So the breathing exercises did help. The therapy did help. It wasn't a cure as you say. But it was a way of dealing with the frustration. I can speak to people confidently. Try not to think about it!

In the end I don't think one can truly overcome stuttering or even being cured. It's part confidence, part "calming the eff down" and part not caring about what others think.

I hope this helps somewhat.

 

[Ancalagon]

For example, the letter m, in mushrooms bugged me every time! Ordering something with mushrooms in at a restaurant became such an ordeal.

I stutter on the words chicken, coke and chocolate! I order all three all the time!

In the end I don't think one can truly overcome stuttering or even being cured. It's part confidence, part "calming the eff down" and part not caring about what others think.

This is very, very true.

 

[LoneWolf]

Dit is eintlik n baie geestelike ding weet jy. Ek het self erg ge hakkel so ek weet waar jy deur gaan en die frustrasie kan mens erg deppresief maak. Mens kan ook selfmoord neigings kry en ander mense weet nie waardeur mens gaan nie. Ekt n geestelike binding op my gehad en ekt dit opgedra aan die Here en ekt laat Heilige Gees geleide mense vir my bid en eks verlos van dit vandag. Van my kant af het ek baie meer gefokus op my asem haling so gee dit ook n try. Eks nou in n management posisie nes jy en ekt nog nooit so baie self vertroue gehad nie. Ek weet nie of jy in God glo nie (baie mense hier doen nie so ek gaan seker weer gekruisig word) maar ek gee jou net my getuienis en my ervaring. Hoop jy kan die Geneesing ook ontvang!

 

[blue-eye-boy]

I stutter on the words chicken, coke and chocolate! I order all three all the time!



This is very, very true.

In my case, I always stutter when I have to tell people my wife's name is Amanda. feels so awkward.

Luckily I dont really care about what people think about it, it's just the frustration of not getting the right word I want, out.

I told my dad the other day I think I must start learning sign (hand) language. But because I manage a butchery, with my luck I will cut off a finger or too, and be buggered again...

 

[HavocXphere]

I've googled a bit, and found this stuttering forum. One oke told guys there that a doctor prescribed Propranolol and Alprazolam for him. I googled that, and it is used to treat anxiety. Dont you guys think something like this can help?

You can give a beta blocker (Propranolol) a shot - they aren't particularly dangerous. The Alprazolam (Xanax) on the other hand I'd be really fckin cautious with - the benzo group of drugs are serious business. You'll need a script for either but talking a doctor into giving you a beta blocker won't be difficult - they are not easily abused so doctors are quite willing to hand them out. Xanax on the other hand will be more difficult to procure & the side effects will be worse.

I'd advise against meds as the primary fix though. The fact that it varies so heavily depending on situation shows its a (deep rooted) psychological thing, not a chemical imbalance. So if you go for meds it should be more of a supporting thing rather than primary fix. There is also a risk of becoming psychologically dependent on the meds. i.e. You freak out 2x as much because you face a difficult situation *and* you forgot your meds at home. I'm not saying its a bad plan - just make sure you think through all the angles.

Do take everything I say with a pinch of salt though - I'm not a doctor or speech therapist.

 

[LoneWolf]

It is a stress thing, it's like a spiralling affect.
When you know you are going to go into a stressful situation your mind goes into overdrive.
When this happens to me, I would take very deep breathes and try to calm down. It worked sometimes for me.

+1000. Control your breathing and you control your stress .

 

[blue-eye-boy]

Dit is eintlik n baie geestelike ding weet jy. Ek het self erg ge hakkel so ek weet waar jy deur gaan en die frustrasie kan mens erg deppresief maak. Mens kan ook selfmoord neigings kry en ander mense weet nie waardeur mens gaan nie. Ekt n geestelike binding op my gehad en ekt dit opgedra aan die Here en ekt laat Heilige Gees geleide mense vir my bid en eks verlos van dit vandag. Van my kant af het ek baie meer gefokus op my asem haling so gee dit ook n try. Eks nou in n management posisie nes jy en ekt nog nooit so baie self vertroue gehad nie. Ek weet nie of jy in God glo nie (baie mense hier doen nie so ek gaan seker weer gekruisig word) maar ek gee jou net my getuienis en my ervaring. Hoop jy kan die Geneesing ook ontvang!

Jy weet dis asof ek daai post geskryf het. Dit is presies wat dit is. Ek rak regtig baie baie erg depressief, en dit word ook nog verder aangehelp deur baie erge twis tussen my en my pa, ons is vennote in die besigheid. En ja dit alles dra by. Om dit alles erger te maak vir my as mens, is ek is ook nog vreeslik gejaagd. Ek kan myself regtig nie help nie, ek probeer daagliks. So niks onder die son stres my op nie.

wat die geestelike betref, ek is huidiglik tussen in. AGV baie baie teleurstellings, huidige probleme en ook die hakkel storie, sukkel ek om gelowig te wees. Ek weet ek sal seker weer eendag my vrede kan maak met alles en aangaan. AGV die teleurstellings het ons ook ons kerk verlaat, en sukkel om weer 'n in te pas iewers, so geestelike leiers wat ek kan vetrou, is buite die kwessie vir nou. Maar baie baie dankie ir jou post, sulke getuienisse laat 'n ou weer dink.

 

[HavocXphere]

But o the other hand, on what topic on earth would I give a speech on?

That is exactly the point. Its not about the topic or the content - its about being able to pick up a topic & rolling with it. Think of a politician - half the stuff they say is utter horsesht but they are awfully good at convey said manure in a smooth fashion. Well other countries politicians anyway... And thats an acquired skill.

 

[blue-eye-boy]

I cant believe how many of you guys also suffer or suffered with the same thing.