I know someone with a drinking problem.

buyeye said:
So how many days have you been sober? And what made you realise you had a problem?
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I've been sober 2 days lol. Wilbur realized he had an issue, because finally the people in his life got through to him that when he drinks he's a bit of an anus.

Grimspoon said:
Ah sorry then I misunderstood, I thought you said the person was looking for help.

Yeah those rehad centers are not cheap sadly :(
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It's complicated. As of now they want to do this alone, which I don't think is the best course. I just want to be as equipped as possible to help.

joelus said:
May I ask how old Wilbur is?
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In his 50's.

dendens said:
Does your friend perhaps have an underlying problem that causes him to drink ? From my experience that I had with a friend- this person had an extremely traumatic experience , and it did not really affect him at the time...but after about 5 years he started drinking very heavily. No amount of talking to him would help. The only way your friend is going to quit is if he decides to himself. You can drag him to AA and to rehab, but if he is not committed to quitting, he won't. The only reason my friend quit was because he woke up all alone in his car at 3am with no idea where he was or how he got there. Been sober 3 years now.
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Underlying problem? Yes and no. Not specific stuff, I don't think, just general unhappiness, and a belief that socializing is impossible without drink (which is just another rationalization, as far as I am concerned).
 
riscbroker said:
AA is possibly a good option for some, but is based on the premise that Wilbur accepts that he is incapable of helping himself and will have to rely on a 'Higher Power' to rid himself of the demon drink. This 'Higher Power' predictably resolves into 'God'. This premise doesn't sit well with atheists for obvious reasons.

Have look here for a good alternative: https://rational.org/index.php?id=1
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Thanks.
 
I don't really have any advice but perhaps you want to post a prayer request in the weirdo section?
 
AA for him (but won't work unless he wants to stop) and unfortunately\fortunately medical intervention is vital for someone who drinks extremely heavilly over a long period of time as withdrawal can kill

As for the family and friends, attend Al-Anon. They won't teach you how to make him stop but they will teach you hope to cope (personal experience here)

Good luck
 
hashbrown99 said:
AA for him (but won't work unless he wants to stop) and unfortunately\fortunately medical intervention is vital for someone who drinks extremely heavilly over a long period of time as withdrawal can kill

As for the family and friends, attend Al-Anon. They won't teach you how to make him stop but they will teach you hope to cope (personal experience here)

Good luck
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Shot, thanks.
 
I see,even people who function well can have really bad drinking problems,most people don't realise that.

You speak to him yet?
 
My name's not Wilbur!

Drinking problems are a bitch. People have different triggers that lead them to taking that first step to sobriety. I hope that you find his soon. The longer he drinks for, the harder it will be for him to be dragged out. Oh, and he will kick and scream and want to relapse. That's where friends step in.

Good luck.
 
Korn1 said:
I see,even people who function well can have really bad drinking problems,most people don't realise that.

You speak to him yet?
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Yes, I have.

Datura said:
My name's not Wilbur!

Drinking problems are a bitch. People have different triggers that lead them to taking that first step to sobriety. I hope that you find his soon. The longer he drinks for, the harder it will be for him to be dragged out. Oh, and he will kick and scream and want to relapse. That's where friends step in.

Good luck.
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It has been many decades of drinking every day.

Drinking problems are a bitch, yes. I'd like to stop myself, I'll see how it goes. One way or the other I've told Wilbur that as long as they don't drink, I won't drink.
 
I have stopped drinking a lot,just force myself to say no. Sometimes it doesn't work :o
 
copacetic said:
Drinking problems are a bitch, yes. I'd like to stop myself, I'll see how it goes. One way or the other I've told Wilbur that as long as they don't drink, I won't drink.
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Co dependency helps in situations where at least one of the guys has strong will power. Otherwise it turns into a situation where you will be making excuses for one another to go get tanked. Just this one last time...

I quit for eight months about a year and a half ago and it was great. One fight and a trip to the pub for a pint and I am back where I was. I am in a semi co dependent relationship that does help keep it to a minimum (couple of glasses of wine in the evenings) but it is not enough. We get into situations where we push each other to go to the pub and have a few shooters. It isn't easy.
 
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