I'm broken...

boramk said:
Fair enough.

OP: I know it hurts, and sounds impossible, but move on.
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Same to you. Whether it be male and female, female and female, male and male, I would have reacted the same.

A relationship of 3 years is never over in a month or even 4. So taking someone else in the sack after a couple of weeks of being apart is just wrong, period.

You have probably never been in a committed relationship and therefore don't have the viewpoint some us of have.
 
Problemo said:
My ex and I broke up just under 2 months ago (3 year relationship) (her idea, but I couldn't argue with anything she said - at the end we were fighting a lot).
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Move on. No contact (no chance of ‘reconciliations’). Grit your teeth because it will hurt. You WILL GET OVER HER. It may take a few months, but the world is your oyster.
 
teraside said:
You have probably never been in a committed relationship and therefore don't have the viewpoint some us of have.
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Bollocks!
Experience and/or similarity of situational experiences has no relevance on the validity of an opinion.

Should we consider your opinion moot based your clear (as evident in various threads and posts) bias towards women?
 
teraside said:
Same to you. Whether it be male and female, female and female, male and male, I would have reacted the same.

A relationship of 3 years is never over in a month or even 4. So taking someone else in the sack after a couple of weeks of being apart is just wrong, period.

You have probably never been in a committed relationship and therefore don't have the viewpoint some us of have.
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It's not wrong dude, sometimes you feel lonely and hurt so having sex with someone else can make you feel better about yourself.

Remember she is up for anything so suggest she brings a friend over and that might make you think about it :D. Remember the good and the bad if all you can remember is bad then let her go but not before she brings her friend in for some action. A female friend, be very clear on that :p
 
Kage said:
Bollocks!
Experience and/or similarity of situational experiences has no relevance on the validity of an opinion.

Should we consider your opinion moot based your clear (as evident in various threads and posts) bias towards women?
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Fail.

Seriously. How can experience not be a valid reason to have an opinion?
I don't care if you think my opinion is moot or not and I am biased towards women, I love women and I am in love with one. So please think of it as moot. I don't care :p

killadoob said:
It's not wrong dude, sometimes you feel lonely and hurt so having sex with someone else can make you feel better about yourself.

Remember she is up for anything so suggest she brings a friend over and that might make you think about it :D. Remember the good and the bad if all you can remember is bad then let her go but not before she brings her friend in for some action. A female friend, be very clear on that :p
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Haha killa :p
 
teraside said:
You have probably never been in a committed relationship and therefore don't have the viewpoint some us of have.
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Erm, no I have, I don't see her sleeping around with someone after a breakup as the ultimate betrayal as you do. Just a sign that you should move on.
 
boramk said:
Erm, no I have, I don't see her sleeping around with someone after a breakup as the ultimate betrayal as you do. Just a sign that you should move on.
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In context that the relationship lasted 3 years, that's where the betrayal comes in. The OP felt betrayed himself as I quoted earlier. A 3 year relationship takes more than a year to get over, not a few weeks (unless there was nothing to the relationship at all).
 
teraside said:
In context that the relationship lasted 3 years, that's where the betrayal comes in. The OP felt betrayed himself as I quoted earlier. A 3 year relationship takes more than a year to get over, not a few weeks (unless there was nothing to the relationship at all).
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Why must it take a year? and as stated earlier and seen by her actions, it doesnt seem as if she is over the relationship.
She may have tried to use sex to get over it, to comfort her..whatever
 
tau1z said:
Why must it take a year? and as stated earlier and seen by her actions, it doesnt seem as if she is over the relationship.
She may have tried to use sex to get over it, to comfort her..whatever
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You are definitely better men than I am. No sarcasm.
 
teraside said:
Fail.

Seriously. How can experience not be a valid reason to have an opinion?
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Errr...
You've misread my post, I'll make it easier...
Lack of similar experiences or lack of experiencing similar situatuations does not automatically invalidate an opinion.
 
Dude, she slept with another guy....then slept with you and only told you later? So she lied, and now...how sure are you really she used proper protection EVERY time she slept with that guy? Was proper protection used the whole time (before any penetration)...or a bit later (after some initial penetration)? I ask this cos HIV / AIDS is a death sentence. You might think you know her, and trust her so she did use protection...but if she lied about this whole thing...and only tells you after...you really think she has you best interests at heart? I doubt it. Added, no protection is 100% safe...so even though the chances of getting something are tiny...the chances still exist. Get tested!

My previous best friend cheated on a girl he loved and wanted to marry. She was good to him in that way, never cheated on him. When she found out, she was broken...and had to go through the ordeal of getting tested etc. She was a wreck. For years after she still struggled with what he did to her. She is now happily married to a great guy who keeps his dick in his pants. Just when she thought how terrible things are, she met a great guy.

It hurts...it will take plenty time to heal but you are better off without someone like this in my opinion..
 
Calm down, go out, and knob someone else a few times. Let her know about it and tell her that's that - no hard feelings. Let's put the past behind us and build a new future.

Look at it this way - she porked somebody else and then came back to you. Maybe she needed to realise what she had and how lucky she was to have somebody like you. For all you know, the other dude could have treated her like a piece of crap, which scores points for you.

Finally, this obviously seems to have happened due to a lack of communication (or rather a lack of clear communication). Both of you should make it a point to communicate with each other about your needs and desires. If either of you feels that the one-on-one thing is getting stale and you need a bit of fresh meat, then try and come to a mutual agreement on how you can go about pursuing that without hurting each other. Threesomes, swinging, lol I dunno. The thing you need to realise is that sex is just sex - there should be no emotional attachment to it because then things like this happen.
 
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