I'm drunk!

The_Ogre

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You want to know something that will make the alkies like @Pineapple Smurf and @The_Ogre cry?

I’ve got a sealed bottle of 8 year old single malt on my desk, I got it for my birthday which is in September.

Only thing is, it is actually a birthday present from 2020…
You can take that bottle and empty it in front of me. I might be an alkie, but I'm an alkie who ONLY drinks beer. I'll have some wine on the odd occasion, but that would only be when I steal a bottle of my (almost) ex wife to piss her off.

The problem with stealing her red wine used to be that I finish the bottle and get pissed, but then forget to clean my lips before I passed out. She caught me out that way numerous times and eventually decided to put her wine in the car when she leaves.
 

Pineapple Smurf

Pineapple Beer Connoisseur
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You can take that bottle and empty it in front of me. I might be an alkie, but I'm an alkie who ONLY drinks beer. I'll have some wine on the odd occasion, but that would only be when I steal a bottle of my (almost) ex wife to piss her off.

The problem with stealing her red wine used to be that I finish the bottle and get pissed, but then forget to clean my lips before I passed out. She caught me out that way numerous times and eventually decided to put her wine in the car when she leaves.
I am with you there
Beer only
I dont even touch wine anymore coz it makes me autopilot, especially that papsak stuff
 

The_Ogre

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I am with you there
Beer only
I dont even touch wine anymore coz it makes me autopilot, especially that papsak stuff
I'll give my left nut for a quart of Black Label right about now. If this WFH thing taught me anything it is not to get too carried away early during the day when I have lots of meetings because I end up talking a whole lot of kak in the meetings and promise people things which I then forget about once the meeting ends.

Hopefully my BIL brings some beer back because he took his mother to do some shopping. I know he'll get pissed off from waiting for her in the car so he'll pop into the bottle store to kill some time.

Where I'm currently living is a shebeen close by, but those motherfuckers only accept cash. R22 a quart. Damn, I miss my R18 shebeen back home in CT. :crying:

In fact, it was R16 a quart, even cheaper than Tops until about a month ago when the owner raised thee price to R18.
 

Pineapple Smurf

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I'll give my left nut for a quart of Black Label right about now. If this WFH thing taught me anything it is not to get too carried away early during the day when I have lots of meetings because I end up talking a whole lot of kak in the meetings and promise people things which I then forget about once the meeting ends.

Hopefully my BIL brings some beer back because he took his mother to do some shopping. I know he'll get pissed off from waiting for her in the car so he'll pop into the bottle store to kill some time.

Where I'm currently living is a shebeen close by, but those motherfuckers only accept cash. R22 a quart. Damn, I miss my R18 shebeen back home in CT. :crying:

In fact, it was R16 a quart, even cheaper than Tops until about a month ago when the owner raised thee price to R18.
That is why I am glad we are back at the office Mon --> Fri 8am -->5pm.
I can't day drink anymore and dont miss it anymore
 

The_Ogre

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@Pineapple Smurf are the liquor stores back to normal times yet? I'm asking because I was pleasantly surprised to find the liquor store open here in Humansdorp yesterday. Then again these people never gave a schit about levels and lockdowns :thumbsup:
 

Pineapple Smurf

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@Pineapple Smurf are the liquor stores back to normal times yet? I'm asking because I was pleasantly surprised to find the liquor store open here in Humansdorp yesterday. Then again these people never gave a schit about levels and lockdowns :thumbsup:
Not sure as each time I tried getting to my one in SWest last week it was closed
6pm
But I reckon after Thursday nights speech it should be back to normal liquor times now, so hopefully 7pm, will see when I go this week
I am still drinking Coopers as backup, got about 7 cases left
 

The_Ogre

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That is why I am glad we are back at the office Mon --> Fri 8am -->5pm.
I can't day drink anymore and dont miss it anymore
I don't want to go back to the office ever again. I'm too used to working from wherever as is the case now. It's better at my own house though. There are 7 kids here and it's noisy as ****! I don't mind it when I'm tipsy or drunk, but I'm extremely irritable when I'm hung over. I am also being watched like a hawk by my wife's cousin who does not want me to leave the house during office hours because she knows I'll go find beer somewhere. The problem with this damn place is you need cash to buy at the two shebeens that are walking distance from me.
 

Pineapple Smurf

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I don't want to go back to the office ever again. I'm too used to working from wherever as is the case now. It's better at my own house though. There are 7 kids here and it's noisy as ****! I don't mind it when I'm tipsy or drunk, but I'm extremely irritable when I'm hung over. I am also being watched like a hawk by my wife's cousin who does not want me to leave the house during office hours because she knows I'll go find beer somewhere. The problem with this damn place is you need cash to buy at the two shebeens that are walking distance from me.
I leave my day drinking for weekends now, something to look forward to.
 

The_Ogre

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I leave my day drinking for weekends now, something to look forward to.
I need to drink now. It's the only thing that will make me feel half human again. Yesterday was a blur. I found myself sleeping with my clothes and shoes on when I woke up at 3 this morning. This means that I wasn't planning on sleeping for long. But I don't know why I was under the duvet then :unsure:

I wasn't sure whether to undress or keep the clothes on to save some time when I get up.

I also found my laptop open and charger plugged in at the desk I usually work at.

Can anybody confirm whether I posted on here yesterday? I need to find out what I was doing with my laptop yesterday because it uses fingerprint to unlock, so it could only have been me who was using it.

Bawana, bookworm or speedometer, please delete any posts from yesterday because it is bound to be serious amounts of kak
 

The_Ogre

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I have not looked at my bank balance yet. I'm petrified. That is also why I don't have those SMS notifications active anymore. They just piss me off when I look at it. I think I must also delete the banking app
 

The_Ogre

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Need to make funky selling salespitch...
House of a thousand piss stains, children not included.
I haven't drank in my house since 11 June motherfucker so any piss stains can't possibly be mine.
 

The_Ogre

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Ahh, but you do not strike me as the chap who would have washed the carpets... so stain remains
My house has tiles and laminated flooring in the bedrooms. No carpets.

My first house that I actually bought as a stepping stone had carpets EVERYWHERE, except the bathrooms. I hated those carpets with a passion, but ended living in that house for 10 years before I sold and bought my current one which I absolutely love, but unfortunately have to sell due to being married in community of property.

I only found out last weekend that my parents were married out of community of property, I never knew it and I'm ****ing 40! If only I listened when my mother told me to get married out of COP or with a prenup.

This is the lesson I've learned because I was in love and drunk on the day I got married. I took leave that day and got drunk early the morning. I was on my way to buy more beer when a pastor friend of mine stopped me and asked me when I'm getting married to my now almost ex.

So I told him, I'm just going to finish that beer and then he can marry us, which he did a few minutes later.

My house is valued at 2.5 bar and I still have 1.5 bar left of the bond. So my wife will score half a million just for me making a drunk decision and she only worked for ONE ****ing year during our marriage of 12 years.

Jisis, now that I think about it, I need to drink!

On the bright side, at least I'll be out of that R13k a month bond because I'm selling our house as well as my dad's house and mother's car so it should be enough for me to build my dream house cash. My dad's house needs to be sold because it's way too ****ing big for him alone (5 bedrooms) now that my mom passed away. He'll be living with me.

/sips black label
 

Pineapple Smurf

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You do realize that as soon as you buy another home there in JBay area you will have your tiktop brother move in as well? Then when you're at the shebeen at 10am working from home he is gonna sell your telly and your toaster for lekker eastern cape tik
 

The_Ogre

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You do realize that as soon as you buy another home there in JBay area you will have your tiktop brother move in as well? Then when you're at the shebeen at 10am working from home he is gonna sell your telly and your toaster for lekker eastern cape tik
My brother is the family drunk. I come second. I know I am a little better than him because I don't have a criminal record yet. He beat up someone and still can't remember what or why he did it so the judge slapped him with a fine and a criminal record.

My sister is the druggie. And she's the reason why the house needs to get sold because she is selling all my mother's belongings for tik. I don't care what happens to her. I asked her many times to go to rehab which I would have paid for. She refuses so I stopped caring. The other day she was pulling out her hair while in a drug induced craze.

Anyway, does @Other Pineapple Smurf ever look down on you for not being able to produce any kids?
 
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