Jokes about various religions

Nick333

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By which I mean jokes about Christians[Theists] and Christianity[Theism] rather than jokes for and by Christians.

Here's a few to get us started:

Arguing with a Christian is like playing chess with a pigeon.
You could be the greatest player in the world, but the pigeon will still knock over all the pieces, **** on the board and strut around triumphantly.

Christianity: One woman's lie about having an affair that got seriously out of hand.

What do you get if you cross a Jew?
Christianity.
 
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ponder

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Somebody gonna take offence, thread gonna be locked.
 

ponder

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On the third day, Jesus rose, shoved open the door of his tomb, and walked again on earth.
As he was leaving, a passer-by pointed out that Jesus had left the door open.
"What's the matter with you?" he said. "Born in a barn?"
 
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LCBXX

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Oldie but a goodie:
[video=youtube;3gDzyaOGzn4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gDzyaOGzn4[/video]
 

D.B.Cooper

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Somebody gonna take offence, thread gonna be locked.
That would be a tad hypocritical since the atheist joke thread is till open... actually we need a Jew and Muslim thread too, to make things even ;)
 

LCBXX

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In all fairness, ALL fairness, if this (or any other religious) thread gets locked because someone took offense, what's stopping MTN/Vodacom/CellC/Telkom/etc asking for threads to be locked where formumites make derogatory comments about their "holy products"?
 

Jings

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Please can we incorporate all theism jokes in this thread, so that the rest of us don't feel left out?
 

Billy

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The three wise men are out for a stroll when they come across a stable.

The three of them decide to duck inside. On the way in one of the wise men hits his head on the low entranceway.

“Jesus Christ!” he says.

Joseph says, “Quick, Mary, write that down! It’s a hell of a lot better than Clyde!”
 

Jings

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Things you might hear the God of open theism say:

Ooops
Doh!
Uh, oh.
Oh, no.
Dang it!
Shucks!
Let me get back to you on that.
Wow, that was a surprise.
I hope it works out.
Oh no, now what is he going to do this time?
No, I haven't heard the joke about the open theist.
Please, oh please, please, please believe in me.
I'll not do that again.
That didn't turn out to well, did it?
I'll try and get it right next time.
I'd answer your prayer but I don't know what is going to happen.
Hey, I just learned something.
Well, I can always go to plan B.


How many open theists does it take to change a light bulb? No one knows until it happens.
 

abzo

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Guess you could say this thread was...resurrected.
 
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