Let's talk about psychics

Arksun

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You’ve all heard about them. Some are intrigued by them, some are great fans and then there are those who hate them. I’m part of that last group. It's not your standard form of aversion, it's more of a psychotic “I want to rip out your intestines and strangle you with them” hatred. Why? I’ll get to that.

At some point in their lives, everybody has seen a magician perform on TV or live at some point. Some of those guys are really good at what they do. I’ve once seen a magician live on stage read a spectator’s mind, which blew me away. I’ve seen on TV a magician (think it was David Blaine) have a volunteer write a name on a scrap of paper, which she folded and set alight. Next thing on his fraggin arm that name she wrote done was in ash. These magicians, the good ones, can put on such an impressive show, it just leaves you there wondering “how the hell did he do that” and would leave a lot of people considering these guys have mental powers, but they never call themselves psychic. You will always hear them use words like “illusion” or “trick”.

Then there is the other bunch. Those frauds who also perform tricks, but they go around telling people that they’ve actually got special mental powers. Those *******s. And there’s a variety of them. Here’s a bit of a rundown on a few of them.

The ****wit that sees dead people
John Edward is the first that comes to mind here. He’s actually a perfect example. This guy profusely argues that he can talk to your dead relatives from the “other side”. If you watch his show you will in general see the same formula: Dead guy points in a general direction (never directly at the person the dead guy wants to talk to). Dead guy starts playing a game of charades with the psychic and the audience has to guess the name. Dead guy starts round two of charades where the psychic has to guess the dead guy’s favorite activity. Psychic says the dead guy is doing ok at the “other side”.

The ****face that can scare away spooks
This ******* claims there are evil spirits that can haunt your house and he can get rid of them. It goes something like this: Some poppie from the suburbs got freaked out by the sound of rats screwing in the ceiling and is convinced Satan moved in. She runs to a “spiritual house cleanser” and gets the dip**** to come have a look. He orders her out to go outside, hauls out a a bag of crystals and chicken feathers covered in donkey poop and takes a walk around the house. Just to stretch time out a little bit, he goes to her panty drawer, rubs one out while chanting hamana hamana hamana or some **** before returning to her to tell her that not one, but two spooks moved in. Maybe just throw in a golgothan **** demon into the mix and slat a fat *** into the toilet cistern for good measure. It will cost R2000 to get rid of her infestation. She agrees, he tells her to wait outside and goes back inside. Back to the panty drawer he goes and rubs another one out. Not only does the sound of moaning from the furious fapping provide excellent ghost battling sound effects, it also helps to leave some ectoplasm behind as proof.

The ghost box nutjob
Some time back in 2002 a guy named Frank Sumption created a device that was essentially a broken radio. Most radios have that fancy autoscan feature that automatically scans through the frequencies and locks when you got signal. Break the scan-lock mechanism, and in a nutshell you have Frank’s box. All this broken radio does is constantly scans back and forth through the band causing you to hear static and random bits of speech and music as it goes through the different radio stations over and over. “I want to believe” idiots will tell you that annoying noise is spooks trying to communicate with you. Where there is gullible stupidity, of course there is money to be made. People are making a killing manufacturing these broken radios and selling it to wannabe psychics. With the rise of computers and smartphones, some are cashing in by writing software that doesn’t even need a radio unit. Just mash together a sound bank of random bits of speech, white noise and presto! You have software that can mimic that broken radio. These days they apply a couple of reverb and delay effects for that extra spooky feeling. A nice piece of software that can instantly turn you into a psychic. And trust me, there are people who actually believe that this junk can talk to spooks. And some of them will charge you money for using their broken radio to talk to any spook of your choice.



Okay. Fingers are getting tired, so I’m going to draw this wall of text to a close. I’ve come across many articles in magazines and online on “how to spot a fake psychic”. They’re usually accompanied by warnings like don’t go to a psychic while you’re still grieving, etc. I’m going to save you the hassle of reading those articles and inform you how to spot a fake psychic with one sentence: HUMANS DO NOT HAVE MAGIC MENTAL POWERS THEREFORE THEY ARE ALL FAKE.

So now it’s time to tell you why I hate psychics so much: Everyone eventually loses someone they love. It’s a difficult thing to deal with the void left behind by the death of someone held dear. The most important thing to people is the memories of that person who died. And along comes a low scum bag and takes a huge dump on those precious memories for a quick buck and hopes of a little bit of fame. It makes you lose your sense of humour.

Now here’s the thing. Something needs to be done about this. There’s a loophole in our general rights to religious freedom that these *******s are taking advantage of. Something needs to be done to shut that loophole, because the vast majority of these psychics need to be charged with fraud and be jailed.
 

OrbitalDawn

Ulysses Everett McGill
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Always wondered at which point things like faith healers, psychics, fortune tellers become fraudulent as opposed to false advertising. The line between them and ponzi scheme con artists is fairly thin...
 

Pegasus

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I had a feeling that someone was going to make a thread like this.
 

Arksun

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Always wondered at which point things like faith healers, psychics, fortune tellers become fraudulent as opposed to false advertising. The line between them and ponzi scheme con artists is fairly thin...
There's no line. Its the same thing.
 

Oopsie

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There is a big difference between a sceptic and a closed minded militant sceptic and #Arksun is the latter. No proper research done but only spews his own thoughts on the subject. His statement that psychics must be jailed for fraud is laughable. He forgets that one cannot imprison people on assumption of fraud unless it is proven by fact.
I can only assume he has had a bad experience with a psychic or he is looking for attention here. I can run rings around him but I have mellowed over time and do not wish to get into a mud slinging match that he cannot win.
 

SauRoNZA

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In before Jingaling.

See Oopsie already got here.

/Popcorn.
 

SauRoNZA

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. I can run rings around him but I have mellowed over time and do not wish to get into a mud slinging match that he cannot win.
It's very easy to win against nutjobs.

You simply have to remind yourself that you are in fact sane.
 

cpu.

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It's very easy to win against nutjobs.

You simply have to remind yourself that you are in fact sane.
You called Oopsie "sane" and the OP a "nutjob" ? :D

How exactly do you expect anyone to disprove random unprovable claims (hello religion) ? All I can say is: someone made an oopsie.
 

SauRoNZA

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You called Oopsie "sane" and the OP a "nutjob" ? :D

How exactly do you expect anyone to disprove random unprovable claims (hello religion) ? All I can say is: someone made an oopsie.
No. Other way round.

Do I look insane to you?
 

copacetic

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There is a big difference between a sceptic and a closed minded militant sceptic and #Arksun is the latter. No proper research done but only spews his own thoughts on the subject. His statement that psychics must be jailed for fraud is laughable. He forgets that one cannot imprison people on assumption of fraud unless it is proven by fact.
I can only assume he has had a bad experience with a psychic or he is looking for attention here. I can run rings around him but I have mellowed over time and do not wish to get into a mud slinging match that he cannot win.
You're the dude who believes in psychic parrots right?
 

copacetic

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For what it's worth, I agree with OP insofar as no ****, we don't have magic psychic powers, but I don't see much of a difference between what a minister might offer compared to the shtick of a psychic.

The problem is not entirely with the people offering miracles either, it's also with those who seek them. This is a hard truth if you've just lost a loved one and are searching for some manner in which to deal with the pain, but while gullible people exist, so will those who take advantage of them, whether it's a psychic, politician, businessman or priest.
 

Mephisto_Helix

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Let's just say I can understand your militant view (for whatever reason) and I too put on my ripoff shades when money grabbing frauds come out the woodwork ..... but I am also open minded to the opposite. I have seen and heard enough from people who parted with zero money in any way to think hey, maybe there is something there.
 

SauRoNZA

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Sorry...I misread. Apologies.
It wasnt abundantly clear so no worries.

But was specifically aimed at him based om past interactions, in which context it should make more sense.
 

SauRoNZA

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The problem is not entirely with the people offering miracles either, it's also with those who seek them. This is a hard truth if you've just lost a loved one and are searching for some manner in which to deal with the pain, but while gullible people exist, so will those who take advantage of them, whether it's a psychic, politician, businessman or priest.
That is the sad reality.

It's a case of supply and demand.

The weak looking for a crutch and predators who are all too happy to provide them.

Sometimes unconsciously, as can be witnessed on this very forum. Generally quite maliciously as can be from those examples making a fortune off the back of it.
 
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