Life is short

[Alton Turner Blackwood]

Yesterday I visited with a friend and his wife.

Him and I were sitting in his lounge sipping on a beer, when we suddenly heard a thud from the kitchen. We rushed and found her knocked out cold on the floor. We rushed her to hospital and she went straight to the ICU. I was too shocked to continue drinking so asked him to drop me at home.

He called me a few minutes ago, sobbing. He just came back from the hospital.

She's brain dead. Apparently suffered a massive stroke.

I guess I'm more creating this thread out of shock. Less than 24 hours ago I was still making jokes with her. I'm not sure about her medical history, but she looked in good health (slightly overweight though). She was 45

 

[dualmeister]

On my old high schools FB group they have a memorial wall of students that have passed away over the years. Can't believe how many of them I have outlived. One girl was even killed in a freak accident before finishing Matric and another guy passed away from a heart attack while jogging.

When it's your time ...

 

[Drifter]

Indeed, life is short.

 

[Alton Turner Blackwood]

On my old high schools FB group they have a memorial wall of students that have passed away over the years. Can't believe how many of them I have outlived. One girl was even killed in a freak accident before finishing Matric and another guy passed away after leaving Matric while jogging from a heart issue.

When it's your time ...

We have something similar. A group with all our matric classmates. I have lost at least 4 of them over the last few years. All of them murdered. I suppose death comes sort of natural once you reach the twilight years, hence me being shocked that someone in their 40's died a natural death.

One thing that I recall from yesterday is that she still complained about a headache and I saw her drinking a grandpa. The incident happened not too long after that so I'm not sure if it isn't perhaps linked.

 

[Devo1]

Life is all kinds of f@cked up.

My mother (65 years old) passed away last monday morning at 11h00.

She never visited doctors. Had no health problems ever (sugar, cholesterol, heart etc. in tip top shape).

3 Weeks ago on the Saturday she called me and said she had a slight pain in her abdomen. I said ok we can visit a doctor on monday. Sunday morning 01h30 my father phoned me and said my mother is in a bad shape. I rushed over and took her to the ER.

The last 2 weeks she hda tests done, blood, xrays, sonar, CT Scan etc. They couldnt find anything. They sent her home 4 times, I had to take her back every 2nd day due to getting worse (no energy, cant lift her arms, cold and hot spells, disorientated etc.).

Last Saturday night the surgeon calls me and says they are taking my mother in for a routine surgery. They suspect something in her intestines.

They operated until 23h00. THe sunday morning at 03h00 the surgeon called and said there were complications. My mothers heartrate spiked to 210 during surgery and her blood pressure is very low. THey gave her medications and max adrenalin, and could close her up after the operation. She went to the ICU, sedated and with a ventilator.

They called again at 07h00 the sunday morning to say she is not improving at all and we must come and say goodbye.

What they found during the surgery was cancer in her spleen and inside her colon. Looks like she was just too weak for the operation.

My mother never had any health problems before. She cared for my father which had big heart operations in the past, and had a stroke 4 months ago. We always thought he would pass first.

But no.


Also, today is 7 days later, but we cannot hold a funeral as Pathology is still busy with a psot mortem.

Its frustrating.


But yes, as you mentioned, life is short. And the pain always comes when you least expect it.

Strongs @The_Ogre

 

[Polymathic]

Something I've noticed is that people aren't living as long as my granny's generation. A lot of people are dying in their 50s and younger I suspect that modern lifestyle has something to do with it.

 

[Alton Turner Blackwood]

Life is all kinds of f@cked up.

My mother (65 years old) passed away last monday morning at 11h00.

She never visited doctors. Had no health problems ever (sugar, cholesterol, heart etc. in tip top shape).

3 Weeks ago on the Saturday she called me and said she had a slight pain in her abdomen. I said ok we can visit a doctor on monday. Sunday morning 01h30 my father phoned me and said my mother is in a bad shape. I rushed over and took her to the ER.

The last 2 weeks she hda tests done, blood, xrays, sonar, CT Scan etc. They couldnt find anything. They sent her home 4 times, I had to take her back every 2nd day due to getting worse (no energy, cant lift her arms, cold and hot spells, disorientated etc.).

Last Saturday night the surgeon calls me and says they are taking my mother in for a routine surgery. They suspect something in her intestines.

They operated until 23h00. THe sunday morning at 03h00 the surgeon called and said there were complications. My mothers heartrate spiked to 210 during surgery and her blood pressure is very low. THey gave her medications and max adrenalin, and could close her up after the operation. She went to the ICU, sedated and with a ventilator.

They called again at 07h00 the sunday morning to say she is not improving at all and we must come and say goodbye.

What they found during the surgery was cancer in her spleen and inside her colon. Looks like she was just too weak for the operation.

My mother never had any health problems before. She cared for my father which had big heart operations in the past, and had a stroke 4 months ago. We always thought he would pass first.

But no.


Also, today is 7 days later, but we cannot hold a funeral as Pathology is still busy with a psot mortem.

Its frustrating.


But yes, as you mentioned, life is short. And the pain always comes when you least expect it.

Strongs @The_Ogre

Sorry to hear and all the best.

My mother also passed on earlier this year and we could only hold her funeral two weeks later due to a similar issue than your own - we had to wait for the death certificate.

The sad thing is we have no idea what really was her cause of death as the certifcate just states natural causes. This was during one of those strict lockdowns so we don't even know if she didn't perhaps have covid. No visitors were allowed to see her while she was in hospital. But then my father is likely to also have had it, but he told me he felt fine the entire time.

I was only allowed to see her because the hospital manager felt pity on me because I travelled from CT to PE to see her when my father called me to say she's in hospital. I didn't know that visitors weren't allowed. Then when I asked one of the nurses attending about her condition, she told me my mother's condition improved. I felt a bit relieved so came back to CT the next day - my wife worked night-shift, so it was a massive problem managing things for her with the kids at night.

Then a day or two later, the hospital calls me, my mother died. I was pissed off more about the fact that they told me her condition is improving than having to travel all the way back.

Funny bit, I missed my flight. Twice. The first time because I was too disoriented when I booked and booked the flight for the same day instead of the next day. The second because I was now pissed off for missing the flight the previous day so I drowned my sorrows, passed out and then ended up oversleeping and missing my flight again

 

[HunterNW]

On my old high schools FB group they have a memorial wall of students that have passed away over the years. Can't believe how many of them I have outlived. One girl was even killed in a freak accident before finishing Matric and another guy passed away from a heart attack while jogging.

When it's your time ...

My dad went like that. Went for a jog and his heart exploded.

 

[spiff]

an ex gf from 1998 - 2012 popped up on fb in November 2019. Invited me over for coffee. we chatted on whatsapp at night and it looked like we would get back together, but then on the 26th Jan 2020 she said she felt a bit off.
Her neck was sore plus she had a seriously bad headache
27th she went for tests at Panorama hospital
last whatsapp message was on the 28th Jan @ 09:29 - ironically to tell me she was at Panorama Hospital.
never spoke to her ever again after that
she collapsed in the doctors rooms and was rushed to University Hospital
she had suffered an aneurysm at the base of her skull
they operated but the aneurysm burst
she never regained conscious
survived a year in a coma
died 7th March 2021
Memorial service was on the 2nd Dec 2021

heart breaking to say the least!

 

[RedViking]

Sorry for your loss.

 

[RedViking]

Life is all kinds of f@cked up.

My mother (65 years old) passed away last monday morning at 11h00.

She never visited doctors. Had no health problems ever (sugar, cholesterol, heart etc. in tip top shape).

3 Weeks ago on the Saturday she called me and said she had a slight pain in her abdomen. I said ok we can visit a doctor on monday. Sunday morning 01h30 my father phoned me and said my mother is in a bad shape. I rushed over and took her to the ER.

The last 2 weeks she hda tests done, blood, xrays, sonar, CT Scan etc. They couldnt find anything. They sent her home 4 times, I had to take her back every 2nd day due to getting worse (no energy, cant lift her arms, cold and hot spells, disorientated etc.).

Last Saturday night the surgeon calls me and says they are taking my mother in for a routine surgery. They suspect something in her intestines.

They operated until 23h00. THe sunday morning at 03h00 the surgeon called and said there were complications. My mothers heartrate spiked to 210 during surgery and her blood pressure is very low. THey gave her medications and max adrenalin, and could close her up after the operation. She went to the ICU, sedated and with a ventilator.

They called again at 07h00 the sunday morning to say she is not improving at all and we must come and say goodbye.

What they found during the surgery was cancer in her spleen and inside her colon. Looks like she was just too weak for the operation.

My mother never had any health problems before. She cared for my father which had big heart operations in the past, and had a stroke 4 months ago. We always thought he would pass first.

But no.


Also, today is 7 days later, but we cannot hold a funeral as Pathology is still busy with a psot mortem.

Its frustrating.


But yes, as you mentioned, life is short. And the pain always comes when you least expect it.

Strongs @The_Ogre

That is horrible. Sorry to hear.

 

[Coasti]

I will try to lighten up this thread a little.
My grandparents are 96 and 98, been married for over 70 years. Living unassisted but in a frail care centre until about 3 weeks ago when grandma broke her hip, getting a replacement in a couple of weeks.
Until recently, Grandpa were still driving weekly the 3 blocks to the OK Grocer, but it became irresponsible as he could admit.

 

[Jet-Fighter7700]

worked with somebody who was strong like an ox, about 2 years older than me,
lifted heavy objects, more than me, did comrades the whole bit,
Covid hits him like a freight train, spend 2 months in ICU, and finally passed away, not sure exactly from what, as I didnt attend the funeral , (watched live-stream)
but I suspect HIV and weakened immune system,

you have but one REAL defense against Covid, an Immune system, all the sanitizing and Idiot mask wearing makes ZERO difference.
he wasn't a smoker, but he did like to party, so again HIV and Drinking, weakened the ONLY defense you have.

sometimes people laugh about me, not smoking and not drinking, well my choices served me very well now during Covid
as people older and in Better shape than me succumb to something they could have fought off in other times.

goes to show you, enjoy life while you can, party like its 1998, and make Healthy choices when it comes to your body.
you'll be thankful later, especially with this Covid situation we all find ourselves in.

 

[spiff]

sometimes people laugh about me, not smoking and not drinking, well my choices served me very well now during Covid
as people older and in Better shape than me succumb to something they could have fought off in other times.

goes to show you, enjoy life while you can, party like its 1998, and make Healthy choices when it comes to your body.
you'll be thankful later, especially with this Covid situation we all find ourselves in.

My aunt turned 94yr last Oct. she's still fighting fit - she's out lived many family members over the years, including her husband / daughter / son-in-law.

My outlook on life changed dramatically after 2yrs in the army (81/82) including 4 months border duty. after surviving all that one can think you are invincible. 6 months after army I ended up in Groote Schuur ward J7 after a head on collision with a pedestrian who ran across the road in front of me (23-6-83 / 01-7-83). luckily my brief coma was short lived with only a 3 way broken jaw and missing teeth to show for it, however the guy next to me same age & also just out of army wasn't that lucky. his accident turned him into a vegetable for life.

My mother decided if it's my time to go then there's nothing she can do to stop it - no matter where or what I was doing or driving - so she bought me a motorbike.

the guy in the ward next to me, his parents had the opposite outlook - bought him a car - it's safer so they thought. well he was a 1st year med student at Stellenbosch, coming back from a weekend away with his friends, they had a head on-collision with a truck on Du Toitskloof. (no tunnel back then)

live life like there's no tomorrow

love those around you no matter what

when they are gone - it's to late

remember no one here gets out alive.

 

[TofuMofu]

worked with somebody who was strong like an ox, about 2 years older than me,
lifted heavy objects, more than me, did comrades the whole bit,
Covid hits him like a freight train, spend 2 months in ICU, and finally passed away, not sure exactly from what, as I didnt attend the funeral , (watched live-stream)
but I suspect HIV and weakened immune system,

you have but one REAL defense against Covid, an Immune system, all the sanitizing and Idiot mask wearing makes ZERO difference.
he wasn't a smoker, but he did like to party, so again HIV and Drinking, weakened the ONLY defense you have.

sometimes people laugh about me, not smoking and not drinking, well my choices served me very well now during Covid
as people older and in Better shape than me succumb to something they could have fought off in other times.

goes to show you, enjoy life while you can, party like its 1998, and make Healthy choices when it comes to your body.
you'll be thankful later, especially with this Covid situation we all find ourselves in.

Mate...really...immune system is there to recover from the infection, masks and sanitizing is there to prevent the infection in the first place...it is a PROVEN FACT that masks work.

 

[supersunbird]

worked with somebody who was strong like an ox, about 2 years older than me,
lifted heavy objects, more than me, did comrades the whole bit,
Covid hits him like a freight train, spend 2 months in ICU, and finally passed away, not sure exactly from what, as I didnt attend the funeral , (watched live-stream)
but I suspect HIV and weakened immune system,

you have but one REAL defense against Covid, an Immune system, all the sanitizing and Idiot mask wearing makes ZERO difference.
he wasn't a smoker, but he did like to party, so again HIV and Drinking, weakened the ONLY defense you have.

sometimes people laugh about me, not smoking and not drinking, well my choices served me very well now during Covid
as people older and in Better shape than me succumb to something they could have fought off in other times.

goes to show you, enjoy life while you can, party like its 1998, and make Healthy choices when it comes to your body.
you'll be thankful later, especially with this Covid situation we all find ourselves in.

Sounds contradictory.

 

[saor]

Mate...really...immune system is there to recover from the infection, masks and sanitizing is there to prevent the infection in the first place...it is a PROVEN FACT that masks work.

**** me if this turns into a covid debate thread. Sometimes need to pick your battlegrounds more carefully.

 

[backstreetboy]

The days are long but the decades are short.

 

[AlmightyBender]

@The_Ogre that is a horrible situation to deal with, especially to witness it first hand. The shock is legit.

But really appreciate the message and lesson you are giving here. I have learned first hand that it is correct.

In 2019 my wife went to bed with a headache and woke up needing the bathroom but she was paralyzed on her left side out of nowhere. Happened in the moment she sat up. She had a brain tumor pressing on her brain stem. Even the doctor burst into tears when he saw the MRI cause he knew there was just no hope. She passed away at the end of 2020. She lived 7 months longer than the best case scenario the doctors predicted. We are both 36 years old.

I'm very grateful to have had the little time with her that I did. I don't take a single day, experience or moment for granted now. I promised her on her death bed that I would live the best possible life I could. I only hope that she will be proud of me for doing exactly that. Doing everything I can to live up to that promise.

 

[RedViking]

For me the worst was when my dad phoned me one October evening. Said he went to see the doc after experiencing some pain, doctor sent him home with 1 year still to live. Lymphatic cancer. October, One year later, he gave his last breath. Age 45, Weighing 35 kg's and over a 3 month period slowly watching him die was horrific. But finally he was at peace. I didn't have money back then, still made a loan to go visit him in Stellenbosch, by the time I saw him his mind was already half gone and he was a skeleton. One of the biggest things I regret was not making a plan to go down earlier, but then again I do not know who would have helped my mom care for him during his last months. There is no way to prepare for someone passing away, whether it is suddenly without a goodbye or a long period watching them suffer.

Life is indeed short.

Thinking of Fanie and MickeyD as well.

This still makes me smile :