Oh, and doing it to intrigue someone seems slightly manipulative to me, but then I'm probably not devious enough when it comes to these things
It really depends if you're that type of person or just putting up an act. I don't put up an act.
Okay, here goes some painful typing because I have to respond
Thanks for taking the time.
I agree that you can definitely learn a lot about a persn by doing that; you might be getting incorrect info, because I will most likely smile politely and move on; unless I know you and am comfortable around you in which case I'l respond very differently.
This is what I forgot to mention though. All these "pick up artists" books/dvd's and what not has nothing against my "technique". For the sole reason of the amount of time I invest in that. I'm a quick judge of character (and a pretty accurate one at that) so if that woman is someone I feel is worth my time, I'll invest it. So me challenging her/being criptive is an ongoing
balanced "push/pull" type conversation/interaction.
Conversely they learn something about the way you approach relationships as well and they might not appreciate it; but in a way you're hiding behind testing statements instead saying what you really think or mean so they're not really getting to know you.
I thought by now you would realize that I don't sugarcoat bull****? The stuff I say is normally what I mean. Very rarely would I say something I don't mean. Given, anger is a very bad influence when it comes to saying and meaning things, but more than often I'd try biting my tongue (and posting my frustration on myBB)
They get to know me for me.
Challenging each other in a relationship is great fun, but there do have to be limits. I've had one relationship where everything turned into a debate with him playing devil' advocate, and while it was mentally stimulating it got really tiring after a while. Another guy I was good friends with was a bit like you - cryptic replies, often wasn't quite sure what he meant. We had great fun challenging each other, but a simple conversation was often just so much work - and I tend to read too much into things anyway, so I was second-(and third-)guessing myself every time I replied to him, which started eventually to weigh on my self confidence.
I'm glad you noted this (other people please pay attention, this is what not to do)
a) Never ALWAYS be challenging. The lady needs to be able to relax around you otherwise everything seems to much like work. This is why 90% of the time I'd let her speak about whatever.... friends/family/pet peeves/whatever. This gives me the opportunity to learn which buttons to push to get a reaction out of her and/or play the "judge" in whether I agree with her statements or not. In so keeping the conversation going, she has fun, I have fun learning about her and then poking fun at her or getting her mad.
b) Never ALWAYS be cryptic. Again, she'll find it too much of hard work to talk to you. As CathJ mentioned, she 2nd guesses herself all the time and it's a definate dip in self-confidence, which is something you'd like to build UP in your woman, not break down. There's a balance in ithese things and if you're too cryptic it will give her the impression lateron that you have something to hide and the relationship will never work (or you'd be too high maintanence)
So don't be afraid to spill your heart out
once in a while to her about things like how your family treats you and what kind of an ******* of a boss you have
let her do the "aw shame baby" routine then and make her feel apart of something easy-going. I'm not saying
put on an act I'm saying be a balanced person. One thing I can definately recommend is living your life as if you don't need or want anyone. That is the single most attractive thing a man can do IMO. It drips of self-confidence and a "knowing" of what you want out of life.
</end soppy realtionship advice>
So yeah, it's an interesting tactic, maybe a good one when you're just starting off and trying to intrigue someone, but it's not something you want to do too much or for too long.
Its an interesting tactic if it's apart of your nature already, and not trying to intrigue or impress anyone by it. I agree fully with your statement (and I hope I cleared up what
I tend to do and think about the subject above)
There's this girl at work that is really into me, smsing, phoning and the list goes on. I have not made advances, but she uses much of the same tactics. She tries to be cryptic one day and the next day she blurts out her whole persona, really weird.
I've made it clear I'm not looking for someone, but she even tried to kiss me (as in aaahhh) the other day, I was like
I'd prefer having a friend and I think she'd rock as a friend, but all these mind games are as you say, really tiring.
Dude, I assume you're a guy (otherwise you'd make one ugly chick) so I'll go ahead and say this.... if she wants it let her have it.
I know you're not looking for a relationship but I reckon this is the perfect opportunity for you to play around with some stuff. Like pissing her off and then saying sorry without really saying the words. Etc.
Mind games are fun but if she's the one playing them all the time I agree it can get tiring. So get even. Play some mind games back. See how far you can push her (which would be an indication of how much she really likes you)
One thing I usually do if I REALLY don't want to speak to the girl or she doesn't fancy me at all but keeps insisting on flirting with me even after I said no is, "come over to my place so I can suck on those lovely nipples of yours"
See what reaction you get
Manipulation is an art form for some people, it gripes me to the point of wanting to
Yea, but you have to remember, manipulating a person only works if they're gullible. Most people are because they're ignorant of the world out there. Thats why people still fall for those 419 scams.
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