Mortymoose's Weber & Buitebraai Offerings to the HO's Gods! - The Resurrection

Mortymoose

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May 26, 2013
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Turns out I will be braaing in Bloem again next month..... :X3:

Reminds me of a story I once posted in here back in 2014.....

About three years back, a mate of mine from Zim and myself were driving around Bloem in the wee hours of the morning, he want to find a whorehouse, I was dragged along because we had been drinking and braaing at Tempe a few hours earlier..... both of us were new to the town and he was meant to take me to my guesthouse just outside of town to join the rest of my tour group..... instead we landed up at a strip club called the wagon wheel or something..... around two in the morning, I noticed that we were being followed through the CBD, we took a left, the bakkie behind us took a left, left again, still the same, so after doing a full square, I informed my mate that we are being followed, and Just as I said the words, "The **** is going down", we were boxed in by 9 police vehicles, some unmarked, lights flashing , guns everywhere..... big automatic guns........ somehow, instinct I guess, I managed to grab my mate's (who was driving), beer out of his hand and with my two beers, slide all three down the side of my door.....

Oh! My mate happens to be a black bald headed mean looking guy..... but he was frozen..... guns pointed.... this Afrikaaner in uniform saunters over, demanding to know who the owner of this car was....... My mate could'nt talk.... I leaned over him and informed the cop that we were the owners of this here Namibian registered vehicle and were in town on a sports tour.... Cop then wanted to know what on earth we were doing cruising around the streets for at this time.... I told him that my mate wanted to find a whorehouse and could the cop be kind enough to give us directions....

Lights were still flashing, still boxed in.... guns pointed at us..... the cop paused..... somebody in the background shouted something to him... a radio crackled..... the cop stared at us..... told us to stop ****ing around and go home.... a car just like my mates had been hijacked a mere 15 minutes back,.....

I thought this would have scared E..... thought we were going home....... but E had other ideas.....

A mere 5 minutes later, rearmed with our beers, he pulled over by a petrol station, I was gesuiped, thought he was asking for directions to the whorehouse..... Heard two doors slam.... that was when the transvestite and the pavement hooker climbed into the back seat......

It was at this stage that I thought that I was in a scene from the movie The Hangover.....

E was pressing the night life employees on where the Whorehouse in Bloem was....... I just wanted to go home..... to bed ... to sleep..... Not E......

We pulled up outside a double story building somehwere in the seedy southside of Bloem..... by this time it was around three....... E could'nt wait to rush up the stairs..... his fantasy about to become real.....

Now, those of you that might know me..... I ain't a guy for hookers and strippers,Happily married chap with a wonderful wife, dressed like a farmer straight from the Namibian platteland, beer clasped in my hand, I stood on the pavement outside the joint chatting to the transvestite about it's life and how it landed up in such a job..... told E to go upstairs and I shall be waiting for him downstairs..... he needed no invitation and was up the stairs quicker than Sister Theresa went to Heaven......

>....Sorry, Have a lorry, will continue later......
Lucky for me , E will not be on the trip although his good wife is going with,....... :unsure:
 

Mortymoose

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May 26, 2013
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Crsip clear morning as she draws back the bedroom curtains, VH1 would have been welcome .....

For so,e reason I have a hankering for beef ribs over the coals this day.....

Off to work to see what I can rustle up...

Enjoy yer day...
 

Mortymoose

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So where is part 2 of the story :)
Had to go find this.....

it was about an hour later, my beer empty in my frozen hand, my knees starting to knock...... it was around this time that I realised that E had not returned from upstairs..... it was also around this time that the transvestite had realised that I was not interested in what it had to offer.....and had wandered off down the street cursing E, it seems that he had promised it some money for leading us to the whorehouse....

I did'nt want to, but enough was enough, close on four on a cold Bloem morning, I wanted to sleep..... and my lift E was upstairs no doubt getting pleasured by Bloem's finest..... I grabbed the rail and started to heave my weary limbs up to the whorehouse.....

I pushed myself passed the voortrekker at the door trying to charge me a cover fee and entered the dive.....

Well it was fuller than I expected, a curved bar with a dancefloor in the corner..... on the otherside of the curved bar, a lounge area where a number of woman were..... well lounging about...... No sign of my man E anywhere, no doubt he was showing some Bloem girl what his horse from Harare could do....

I bought myself a beer from a barmaid that looked like she was still stuck in an 80's version of a MadMax movie....... and headed over to the comfortable lounge chairs....


One of the girls told me that E was in a room with T and enquired if there was anything I would like..... to which I answered no..... still bought two of the ladies a drink and just sat there chatting...... coming from the platteland i was curious to know how they got involved in such a lifestyle..... it was then that I realised that these were all hard up white folk..... It was also then that I further realised.... that there was not a single non white in the establishment....... My weary mind wondered for a brief moment how E was getting on.......

One of the ladies must have been close to 60 years in age, still plying the trade.... told me her life story, born on a Freestate farm, originally had a good life, but things went wrong in the family and they lost the farm..... she was distitute and was forced into prostitution to make ends meet...... on a couch opposite us, was yet another Afrikaans girl.... I made her out to be about 16 or 17.... she was curled up like a cat on the couch, fast asleep.... seems she also plied they same trade....

In all honesty, I found the womans tales about their lifes very sobering....... and felt two emotions, one of great sadness for what these ladies lifes had become and late an artificial high, when I realised how lucky I was to have Head Office back at home waiting for me..... suddenly greatfull for the lifestyle I lead.......

A door slammed behind me and E stormed past me....... not looking happy at all....... a white Afrikaaner woman stumbling behind him.......

"Come let's get the **** out of here", E said in a sharp voice.....

Once in the car it all came out....... Seem's the ladies in the house..... would not **** E , not for all the money he threw at them.......... and coming from Zim he could'nt understand this.......

Well it turns out, one of the girls back in the lounge had said to me, that none of the girls would sleep with him, they did'nt mind playing with him, but no home base....... and the reason.... all because he was a black man..........

My mind boggled at this......

:wtf:
 

fish_man

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Jan 5, 2011
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Makes one wonder of that place is still there? but most importantly is the same ladies still there?
 

Mortymoose

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Makes one wonder of that place is still there? but most importantly is the same ladies still there?
I reckon there will be "fresh" meat there by now, but it was still lank sad to hear their tales .....

Anyhow, No Braai today, you know "who" had it moved to tomorrow and then dragged me off to play a few games of you know what.....

I have a really bad urge for music, beer, braai and social....... I might be off to Springbok for a You know what meeting Tuesday......... Shall get a chance to socialize there...... usually an after midnight session....

For some odd reason it has been on my mind that I turn half a century in about 10 months from now, busy listening to tunes from CCR, Albert Hammond, Wham and Bruce Springsteen...... thinking I might hire two houses on a remote beach somewhere, stick my brothers in one , I in the other and have a week long sundowner braai session .... going to start my music list now...

I ramble on..... Sorry......

/Moose wanders over to beer fridge for another deep thought....

:X3:
 

Mortymoose

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May 26, 2013
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They said it was going to happen, the first cold front of the season swinging by the African Subcontinent...... Briefly influencing the weather on my coastal strip...

A stiff cold wind came roaring in off the grey Atlantic........ At work I counted only one other customer with shorts and a T-Shirt, rolling like The Moose...

I came home, and ignited, coz this is prime time to braai..... A few choice cuts....

image.jpg
 

COMPUTEK

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Apr 7, 2009
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Yip, its a kak day in Cape Town to even try a braai outside..., wind is bumping :mad:
 

The_Mowgs

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Nov 23, 2009
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Yip, its a kak day in Cape Town to even try a braai outside..., wind is bumping :mad:
Yeah there will be no braaing from my side, kak weather. Will just settle on the couch, drinking and wondering when I will braai that perfect Joey's rump steak
 

bokka1

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Nov 27, 2006
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Braaibroodjies, chops and wors.

The wind is blowing here in Cape Town, rain is coming. 20190519_183408.jpeg
 

bokka1

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Nov 27, 2006
Messages
2,960
I reckon there will be "fresh" meat there by now, but it was still lank sad to hear their tales .....

Anyhow, No Braai today, you know "who" had it moved to tomorrow and then dragged me off to play a few games of you know what.....

I have a really bad urge for music, beer, braai and social....... I might be off to Springbok for a You know what meeting Tuesday......... Shall get a chance to socialize there...... usually an after midnight session....

For some odd reason it has been on my mind that I turn half a century in about 10 months from now, busy listening to tunes from CCR, Albert Hammond, Wham and Bruce Springsteen...... thinking I might hire two houses on a remote beach somewhere, stick my brothers in one , I in the other and have a week long sundowner braai session .... going to start my music list now...

I ramble on..... Sorry......

/Moose wanders over to beer fridge for another deep thought....

:X3:
I am hitting that milestone in October, I will be in Italy so will probably be not be braaing.
 

Jings

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Mar 6, 2012
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This recipe is in Portuguese. Orange, honey and paprika is used for the glaze and presunto is dry cured salted ham, similar to prosciutto. Instructions are visual, if any of you braai masters are up to the challenge.

 

akescpt

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Aug 12, 2008
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20,778
Since I got seven broken bags for free and due to the fact that you know who is bitchin' about all the broken bits of charcoal laying around...... :unsure:
Lol. Geez. That’s Nice. Was just surprised. The way wood prices are going it definitely has its place.
 
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